Thanks, but every time I come back, I'm reminded that I'm pretty much on a completely different plane than most of the people here.

I am saying that no one has a right to dismiss or denigrate someone else's self-identification. Especially in terms of sexual minority youth, this has historically been the norm, and it has led to tragic consequences for LGBTQA+ young people. And not for dramatic flourish but merely so you don't expect any more responses, I'll say that I am done with this thread.

Um, WTAF? Never did I say that. I have no freaking idea where you got that from. And you even put it in quotes, like those are words I actually typed. Seriously, chill out. You seem bent on attacking me personally, apparently because I had the gall to disagree with you. My story about my dad was merely mean to illustrate that times change, and the things people say and do change.

If you can't or don't accept that things are different now, then yeah, you don't get it. I'm not a young person. I don't care to discuss my gender or sexual identities with people, but that doesn't change the fact that young people do. I recently, after many attempts to dissuade my father from referring to people as Orientals, told him that if for no other reason, he needs to stop because to people my age and younger, he sounds like an old fart who goes around calling people "Negros." He, too, grumbled about the exact meaning of the word Oriental and tried to defend his position. I told him, "Well, Dad, like it or not, the language has changed. Change with it, or sound ignorant and unkind." (Cue all the people who rush to defend the term Oriental. :D )

Right, because this student's identity expression should be all about meeting your needs.

Ok. Sure. :lol:

Nice try. You don't get to decide how other people experience their gender identities.

I'll ask my husband, who has been an adjunct professor at the local university, whether "out of touch and elitist" are accurate words to describe me. 😂 Funny how you know so little about me yet assume so much.

And going further, social norms are not an unqualified "good thing." Historically, many social norms have been discriminatory and destructive, and it was right and necessary that they changed.

I think the norm has changed for younger people, especially in situations they consider to be social, and for many students, a psych class small group discussion would qualify. Whether the older generation agrees or not really has no bearing on how younger people view the social norms. The norms are what they are for the group in question.

Yet this is not the situation the OP described. This was a small group breakout discussion for which we are unaware of the dynamics of the conversation. It's entirely possible that this student's comments weren't considered in any way unusual in the specific conversation.

Yep. Like it or not, norms change. I have kids aged 14-23 and discussing sexuality and gender just ain't no big thing for them and their friends. Heck, I'm old and even *I* don't have a problem with someone telling me their sexuality or gender identity if they feel it is important to them. It's not up to me to decide what they feel is relevant. I also completely disagree with the idea that the only thing that matters in a class is the student's work. That was not my experience of college at all. I had human relationships with my professors (for the most part, maybe not so much in huge freshman lectures) and they didn't seem to view their jobs as "stand in front, impart knowledge, only know students' names."

Well, you already failed at the polite part when you dismissed the person's identity as nonsensical.

I don't really see the problem. Why would a grown adult with a college degree need to live at her parents' home for more than six months? Why should her parents feel like they need to house her? Barring something unforeseen like health issues, I would expect most college-educated adults to be living on their own.

I rarely visit TWTM anymore, and this is exactly why. :rolleyes:

Sometimes kids act like asses. There. I said it. Hammering on a parent of a difficult child because they described the child in unflattering terms is unkind and unproductive. Sometimes parents need to vent. And sometimes kids act like asses. Knowing there is a reason for it doesn't really make it easier when it's your day-in, day-out life.

So much this. It really upsets me that people believe that other people (and their kids) should be invisible in society. I can't imagine going through life trying to act like some people don't exist.

We did not pay $65,000 for my dd's college education (far from it), but we did pay some. The way I saw it, if my dd was mature/intelligent/with it enough to earn a college degree, she was mature/intelligent/with it enough to work through any problems she had while she was there. She was welcome to contact me for advice (which she did), but I was not going to intervene with the school. My dd chose the college she attended; I did not. My dd was receiving their services; I was not. If she was unhappy with what she got, then she needed to do something about it. I did not view myself as a consumer of the colleges services. The only return on my investment that I expected was that my dd do her best, which she did. There were things she didn't like about her school/her major department/her campus employment. Some things she was able to change; some she wasn't. That sounds suspiciously like life to me. I did not ask to see her grades. She usually told us how she was doing. I figured that if she did poorly enough that she was kicked out, then we would stop paying. :D Other than that, we had told her the amount of money we had to devote to her college education; she could use it wisely or not. When it was gone, it was gone. I think there were times when my dd wished I was more involved in what was going on at school. But I know my own daughter, and I know where the line is between "Mom, I need help" and "Mom, make this your problem." My dd struggles to keep on the "help me" side of the equation, and I do my part to help her stay there by not rescuing and not making her issues my issues.

My dd wants to go to the same uber-expensive private Catholic university that my dh went to. She had pretty much crossed it off her list because it would cost > $200,000 to go there. She's a smart lass; she knows that's unaffordable. She recently went to an informational meeting at the CC about DE and discovered that this university has a special program that allows students to apply to the university as HS seniors but take their first two years at the CC (only available for certain majors). While studying at the CC, they are considered students of the university, have a student ID, and have access to all events and services that the university offers. Luckily, the major she is interested in is part of this program. This is what she is currently planning to do, and I think it is brilliant. If she is accepted to the program, she will also get a huge and guaranteed tuition rebate when she transfers to the university as a junior. The university also has a vibrant co-op program, making the choice even more affordable. I have to say that I basically stopped reading on TWTM because I got so tired of the unrealistic skew toward ultra-high achieving students and, frankly, the utter snobbery toward CC and anything that's not an elite university or a state flagship. I started at the CC, as did my mother when she got a nursing degree when I was a teen. It's an excellent school, and I have absolutely no qualms about my kids going there. I realize that not everyone is lucky enough to have a good CC nearby, but the constant disparagement of CC pretty much drove me off. There are numerous ways to receive a college education, and looking down your nose at people who don't go the elite route doesn't help anyone. And in the immortal words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."

I made this point in another thread, and I was assured that was NOT the case ... But I think it is.

I think you missed my point. Scientific studies have failed to show any difference between Bach flower remedies and placebos. Bach flower remedies are pseudoscience, and I would not spend a lot of money learning to make them.

I am. There is nothing scientific about them. No way would I spend a large amount of money learning to make them.

And some are serious they are Jedi. ;) The ones who truly believe in the Illuminati generally don't talk about it publicly.

Tess/a Jocelyn Natalie Grace Sarah Anna Annabel Ella Rosalyn

The Macaw iPad version has a bunch of videos. It's $15.