This : ) I don't want to embarrass my kids. ETA: I have mostly learned to avoid situations that tend to bring the worst out in kids.

It isn't clear how old the husband is, but is it possible that he is having mental/dementia issues? It also doesn't seem - from your explanation - that you have definitely lost a friend. The text sounds to me like she just might want to visit with you on the "down low", you know? :001_smile:

There was a time with my first two children -- when they were small -- that I thought I was doomed. Then I stopped focusing on trying to change them. Instead, I began to look at things from their point of view. Doing that helped me to figure out what they needed. And what I needed to let go. I've learned so much about them this way. With a family of six, there is plenty of conflict, but instead of trying to play judge and referee...I'll just point out my observations with the intention of helping them better understand each other. And I always refrain from thinking "this is silly...you shouldn't be upset." If the child is stressed or frustrated, the child is stressed or frustrated. Or over-stimulated. They need kind words. A distraction. Just like we do when we're stressed. I've never confronted my husband about his relationship with any of our children. I suspect that would do more harm than good. However, we talk a lot; and I always tell him about my observations and discoveries regarding the kids. I suppose I'm kind of the diplomatic liaison between everyone. I look for ways to improve understanding among all the family members. It's hard. And I'm tired. But nobody hates each other yet :p Take care. I hope you find some comfort and inspiration from the wise ladies on this board.

My now lovely (but still spunky 12 yo dd) had nuclear meltdowns. She was 2 or 3 when I realized that she just acted on the outside the way I often felt on the inside...especially when I am stressed. My 10 yo ds had meltdowns as well, but he would implode instead of explode (run to his room and hide under his blanket). No one pitches fits exactly anymore, but I still find myself helping them handle whatever is stressing them. It usually involves some empathy -- which I really do have for them -- and sometimes it's a matter of helping them understand something. I've had to assure my then 7 yo that he wouldn't bleed forever when he got a scrape. I think he really thought he was just going to keep bleeding and bleeding forever :huh: Sometimes it involves smoothing things over (and not arguing) until they mature a bit. For example, when my 12 yo was a toddler, she thought every time she bumped herself she needed a bandaid. I think she thought it would help her booboo feel better. We argued and explained and explained and argued. Eventually, I bought a big box of the least expensive bandaids I could find, and I stopped arguing with her about bandaids.

I don't know how to answer that directly. I have fallen in love with history, mythology, and literature in an angsty kind of way. These subjects paint a beautiful and heartbreaking picture of what it means to be human. But I'am also holding on to my faith without conflict. Tension maybe. The tension between faith and reason I suppose. But I hold on tightly to both. I did convert to Eastern Orthodoxy about 10 years ago.

When he says "get me water," I would just look at him and say "water, please?"...just like I'd want him to say it. And then go ahead and give it to him. He'll catch on. :001_smile:

I think this is a great idea : ) My 9 yo still has difficulty articulating his frustration. And even when my olders articulate their frustration, they don't always know exactly WHY they are so frustrated....or that the frustration is quite normal under the circumstances. When my 2nd daughter was 2, I realized that she would often act on the outside the way I felt on the inside. So instead of trying to fix her (or me <_< ), I began trying to figure out ways to help us all manage our emotions better. It's hard at first. A couple of things I've learned and try to keep in mind: 1. No one likes to be interrupted. 2. Eveyone (including dh and I) have difficulty disengaging from things we enjoy. Approaching situations with a warm or thoughtful problem-solving attitude helps. As my kids are growing, I find that most drama ends up with me trying to figure out how to help everyone with *stress management*. Oh. And I also try to teach them to respect everyone's *personal bubble*. No matter how big it is ^_^ .

too funny! Tell me about it:tongue_smilie: My dh doesn't like that they watch the videos because they start asking to download all these different mods. But they also find out how to make things like the Nether Portal. And of course they watch the silly parodies, too, and then go around singing "Do you like my sword, sword. My diamond sword, sword..." I think I've let Minecraft get out of hand around here though, because I think it's really interesting, too. There was a learning curve up front when I helped them learn about the blocks, tools, and recipes. (Minecraft wiki is an excellent site.) But now we have it on my iPad (which they don't really like to play...too tiny), the Xbox, and 2 copies for the PC so they can play with each other. It's crazy.

LOVE this description! I have one of those. She is the sweetest thing in the world, and she will cheerfully do anything you *ask* her to; but all she wants to do is doofer. And thank you, ladies, for sharing your troubles and wisdom here. :grouphug:

I would give just about anything to have a Fairy Grocery Godmother. I loathe shopping. :glare: Since I must shop, however, I've worked out a rotation with my dc. I take only one each week. It turns a necessary evil into something pleasant. :) We get a snack at the snack bar, and it's also a perfect time to get any needed shoes or clothes. (I loathe shopping at the mall even more than shopping at Target. Presently, the girls are able to drag me there once a year when they have some birthday money to blow :tongue_smilie:)

Sometimes challenging things kind of takes out the fun. For a silly (and somewhat embarrassing example), when I play Guitar Hero with my family, I prefer playing on easy or medium. I know I could probably do a harder level, but I actually have fun when there's no struggle to keep up. ETA: re: the piano piece...Does she like the song? Does she know it well? Is it possible she didn't want to "mess up" in front of a new teacher?

I was hoping it would be helpful to share a timely perspective from the leader of Orthodox Christians in Syria. He was born in Syria and has been the Patriarch of Antioch since 1979, but we won't see him on the evening news. And it's important to me for others to see a Christian perspective that is rarely noticed, because, I guess, it's not provocative or sensational enough to be newsworthy or debate-worthy. In peace and hope,

I was very moved to see this in my Flipboard news the other day.

Thank you for this. I'm glad you clicked.:grouphug:

The following appeal is from the Orthodox Christian Patriarchate in Antioch. http://www.antiochian.org/sites/antiochian.org/files/letter_of_patriarch.pdf

I'm not certain, but it may be that the resistance of chalk on chalkboard is greater than marker on whiteboard, which may provide a better tactile sensation for children who need it. My boys still have the strangest pencil grip, and it drives me batty...so much so that I have just begun allowing them to write ONLY on a chalkboard. With tiny pieces of chalk:tongue_smilie:

My kids and I became Wholigans together when we started watching the 1st season (reboot) on DVD. My girls were devastated when Chris Eccleston changed to David Tennant. They vowed that they were NOT going to watch season 2. Well, suffice it to say, we love them all now : ) I also recently read that Eccleston is going to be the super villain in the new Thor movie. Squee!

Aw. I totally understand. I choose my words very carefully with my children. Holding my tongue and thinking about what is happening usually helps me to see the situation from their perspective and find a way to help them. In the particular situation you mention above, I would probably tell her explicitly (but matter-of-fact and gently) the kinds of things that someone might think when she does "x". In our family we also talk often about personal bubbles:001_smile: Have you tried role-playing?...like pretend she's the acquaintance and you are her....and show her the difference between greeting family, close friends, and acquaintances?

I voted other. It's hard for me to wish my path had been different, because I adore my husband and children. However, as my girls approach young adulthood, I sometimes wonder if I would have "found myself" sooner without the constant high-pressure peer influence. I was quite wild:o and wandered aimlessly for many years.

Excited. :w00t: About a bookcase. :glare: At least I know there are ladies here who understand. :D

Ack. That was hysterical :laugh:

But when I think of people fighting against civil rights and mixed-race marriage...I think:001_huh: And I don't want to be lumped together with people who did that. Especially when my Faith is very much multi-ethnic (and pretty much apolitical except for seeking peace).

How do you think this might affect Catholics, Orthodox, Jews, and Muslims (and others?) who continue to adhere to their Traditions?

You know...this was my first thought, too...once I read about his age and the body armor/weapons. :(

I'm in my 8th year of homeschooling....and am just now getting this. close. to finding my groove. Not sure why it seems that I have to learn everything the hard way:glare:but I'll share some of what I'm discovering, and maybe some of it will be helpful. I think I've tried every math curriculum there is. At this point, I'm using knowledge from a gazillion sources as well as the experiences that I've had with my kids. Math is just beginning to turn around for my 7th grader, and this is what we are doing. I have 3 Math folders for her: 1. Math Drill; 2. Math Vocabulary; 3. Math Lesson. Each folder has a plan sheet plus the necessary materials (flash cards, vocabulary cards, math work sheets, etc.) Our lesson is 30 minutes. First, we drill facts. I'm very flexible here. In fact, I just made up some different x9 cards this morning for her, because I had an idea that might help her remember them more quickly. I'm teaching them by group, and then only timing her when she feels like she knows them. And even then, the app we've been using doesn't give you a set time....but just tells you how long it took. So she tries to improve her time, without the excessive pressure (for her) to finish in a set amount of time. Since we are working on facts separately, I encourage her to use a multiplication chart with lesson work. She can figure out multiplication and division problems with strategies or skip counting...but I want her saving her problem-solving power for the lesson...not using it for solving multiplication and division. Next, we work on vocabulary. I make vocabulary cards for her from our lessons. When they are new we just read them. The next day, I'll give her a word list. Then I'll read from a card and have her choose the correct term. After a few days of this, I'll say, "What can you tell me about ___________?" At first this was very difficult for her. But we've only been working on vocabulary about a month, and I can see an improvement. She is, overall, more engaged in the lesson. Even though I'm using flashcards for vocabulary, it's really not in a "testing" way. It's all very conversational. I also have a couple math dictionary resources for kids that are very helpful. I suspect that her engagement is improving because her math lessons are reinforcing her vocabulary work, which is in turn reinforcing her math lessons. If that makes any sense:001_huh:. Last is the lesson. I get anxiety just typing this, because I don't know if I'll get her caught up in time to take Algebra I as a freshman, but it is what is working. And I've made up my mind that mastery of concepts is more important than a timeline. After much agonizing, I decided to start her with Math Mammoth 5A. We aren't going to rush. I'm not going to push her through when I can tell her understanding is sketchy. (Part of the benefit of working with her is being able to really tell what she *gets* and what she may need help with.) Actually, we haven't even started 5A yet, because I don't think her fraction and decimal work is up to par. So we are actually doing work pages from Intro to Fractions with a couple pages from 3B that I thought were particularly good. Then, I'm going to have her do the Fraction, Decimal, and Geometry sections from 4B. All this to say....she is just doing math worksheets. I don't talk about grade levels....and I try not to think about them:tongue_smilie:. For 5A & B, I had the pdf printed and 3 hole punched at Staples. When I picked it up, I threw away the title pages with GRADE 5A and GRADE 5B and put the workbook pages right in one of those really nice Staples binders before I even paid for it. Wow! Sorry for the rambling; but I do hope that there is something helpful in all that....or at least you will know that you aren't alone.:grouphug: