What they said; if I happened to be doing something, I'd share. And I know that customers occasionally give DH stuff, but he works with them for months.

:party:

Yeah, I'd say ignore those other people. You don't have a mortgage. You are way ahead of the game. They took a framework that does work for specific people in specific situations and tried to make it fit everyone in every situation. Doesn't work that way. Principles =/= one-size-fits-all iron-clad rules.

I'm a teeny bit jealous, though maybe you don't appreciate that. ;)

Long enough to brush it. BUT it's long, straight, and fine--and air dries pretty quickly (I don't even own a blow dryer). there's not much to do with it, really. It is either completely loose, in a ponytail, or a messy bun thing. If I actually get it cut at a salon, I have them layer it; but being el cheapo, I tend to just trim it myself. :D ETA: Oh yeah coloring...I don't do that either.

Growing up it was presented (unconsciously) as more a part of one's overall appearance and grooming--"I can't let anyone see me like this!" or "Oh no, so-and-so [lady] saw me, and I didn't even have my make up on!" We each have some sort of standard of grooming/dress that we want to meet any time we're going to encounter Others. For many women, make up is just a part of that. The other reason I've heard, from SIL, is just for fun--to try different looks and such. I don't wear any because I don't want to. I rarely wore it even in my teens, but people do seem to prefer to see a made-up face as opposed to natural, or maybe that's just my face. ;) However, I have a friend who grew up with a dad from a different culture who was pretty chauvinistic (I din't know if that was just him or the culture or both), and I could well believe the view in the OP would have been expressed in that atmosphere, from what she's told me. I try to avoid being around people like that if at all possible. I'm sorry it's an issue. :grouphug:

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FWIW, I would do wood because it's cozy, less institutional, and might hurt less if kids do get rambunctious. That's just me! We like the warmth of wood here, though. That's a great thing she's doing!

I have a laptop, so it's easier to literally put the computer away when it's too much of a temptation. Otherwise, if I have a "lull," I'll go do something little that doesn't take much time and isn't a big deal if it's interrupted. Unload half the dishwasher while they're working on math, that sort of thing. Or like right now, it's "nap" time--I did want I wanted to do first, before sitting down here. And good thing! It was yard stuff and now it's raining. When we're having normal weeks, I've tried to arrange my schedule so that my truly free time is limited (because, yes, I'll just hop straight on the interwebs and pretend I'm part of The Real World, lol). But in the end, sometimes I just have to literally propel myself away and go pace for a minute before something productive presents itself (or the kids get into an argument, whichever comes first :D). That's not to say I don't have off days or weeks where too much time is wasted in various online activities (I pay our bills online, shop online, research the latest problem or project online...etc.). As far as general daily structure, we try to stick to a routine that starts at the same time each day, we don't have outside activities that require us to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm to a point with cooking where I can throw stuff together from basic ingredients and staples, and I'm not afraid to rotate priorities: today we won't get centers done because I've got an organization project in the works (ans several lined up after that one), we have errands, and then chores and seatwork have/will round out our day. I don't have to cook tonight because I did that last night. Tomorrow it might be mowing instead of organizing (hopefully!). Chores will lighter tomorrow, but I'll have to cook, so centers time might be while I'm cook. Hopefully that makes sense! Doing things this way, though, means we're pretty much in the middle of everything all the time; that may bother some people. Another caveat is I've never had to work around a job or classes, so while I'd likely apply the same "rotating" principle, I don't know what the nitty gritty of that would look like. Probably my projects would get the ax. Hope that helps, and I'm sorry if I repeated anything others have said. Good luck!! ETA: I use block scheduling, too. MWF/TR. The little does the same things each day, and I'll speed something up by making it a 5-day subject if it's getting too easy for them, but generally, block scheduling for all subjects.

I'm sorry! I hope things go smoothly and that you get a dull span soon after. :grouphug:

That was beautiful, Chris, and you're absolutely right. So glad you've reconciled! :grouphug:

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The thought crossed my mind, rather too late, and I think we wouldn't be able to find any place to stay. We're about 2 1/2 hours from totality. I guess we'll settle for whatever we get here. :)

Sure! Bonus if they're safely stackable. Get extras if you care about uniformity (I do). Just know, though, that you'll end up with books and items that are bigger than 12" tall, so you'll need a plan for those.

clothes shopping, especially in the store the word "selfie" clutter on my floors (the tables and shelves I can survive, the floors though...) wasting money (planned splurges are fine)

Just replying to OP, here. DH has had work schedules all over the map. 12 hours days, 6-day weeks, no days, lol. Now he is home around 4:30 or so, and doesn't work too many Saturday. No evening activities here, save maybe four evenings each month for grandparent stuff. So, yes, we eat here nearly every night. No, DH does not eat with us, even though he's home. I do value the whole family having a meal together, but it's not something I'm willing to fight over, plus I'd rather it be a genuine desire. It's a two-way street, too; he doesn't get everything the way he'd like, either. Our options are to be miserable or to be ok. We choose to be ok. :)

I agree with shutting down the conversation if it turns that way. You could just walk out of the room, or change the subject. Try not to respond emotionally. I had to break within myself to get to this point with a relative, and I know they've been doing some work of their own. But ultimately, realize that yes, they raised you. Yes they help you out now. The first they were supposed to do, and the latter should be a gift. If it's not a gift, then it needs to go away. We get $$ from my parents every month, and DH and I agreed long ago that if it ever came up even once as some kind of purchased authority, it was gone. We'd do food stamps or whatever, but that money would no longer be accepted. I used to do homeschool newsletters for the grandparents, but when that started turning into "you're accountable to us" and "you're doing this wrong" based on the most recent issue, I quit. The kids are old enough and gabby enough anyway, they can discuss their days if asked. I am a Christian, and I do believe in honoring one's parents. But at the point (and after a LOT of personal turbulence), I don't think this means I owe them anything. I don't owe them grand kid time, visits, submission, etc. The whole point of parenting both biblically and practically is to raise them to be self-sufficient and functional without us. Then as adults, we are as neighbors. I think there should be intentions of caring for aging parents, but the relationship part is a gift, and should be freely given, not coerced or shamed into existence. And vice versa: they don't owe me hosting, babysitting, financial assistance, or problem-solving when we have some SNAFU around the house. I gratefully accept help that is offered, but I don't expect it or ask for it. But for what it's worth, our level of involvement with our local parents is: each side gets one dinner per month, one kid day per month, and one overnight per month. It used to be more when the kids were younger, but to have any sort of life outside of home + grandparents, it had to scale back. I am not a go-go-go person. Anyway, I don't know if that helps or hurts, or if I'm repeating what others have said (only skimmed a few posts). Good luck, either way! :grouphug:

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Just responding to OP, so if I repeat, I'm sorry. I would not force, but I would explain the reality that if she doesn't visit, she won't get a chance to change her mind and she needs to be able to live with the decision either way. Same thing or camp. And then let her make the decision, even if she ends up regretting it later. If they were younger, maybe my answer would be different somehow? It's all very difficult, and I'm not sure there is really a right anything, so don't stress on that front. I hope your grandmother is comfortable. I'm sorry!

Yeah, later that day I found them on Amazon for about $30 each. :D But she had these in her car, which means she already paid for the books. I had three days to request a refund, but decided not to. Normally we don't make purchases like that, for a lot of reasons; it was just the stars aligning. I could feel dumb about it, but I don't. I have plenty of other, better things to feel dumb about. ;)

I know there are. DH isn't mad, at least. I think it's too hot, lol. This supposedly spans 12 grades on all subjects one might learn in a brick & mortar schools. It's really just to make me feel like we have a fall back "thing." It'd be a good spine; we don't actually use textbooks for content. I'm look[ing] at it like a huge expensive list of things they could learn about and/or are "supposed to" learn about, that I didn't have to spend any time compiling. Edited for grammar. Good grief. See? I need help! :D

Our CD collection spans centuries and most genres--Simon & Garfunkel to Metallica to Pink Floyd to all the standard Classical composers, and more. Not really any rap or R&B, though I like select Motown music. We don't do the MP3 thing as much, but what I have on my phone are Nightwish, Enya, singles by Gladys Knight, Otis Redding, and Ray Charles, an Orthodox monastery choir album, Wee Sing Lullabies, and Third Day. There's also Jon Batiste and Leonard Cohen from when DH bought family some vinyl on my Amazon account (we got the digital albums free). When I had satellite radio for a year, we kept it on the 40's channel. I don't have a top 10 favorite songs because it's whatever's in my head at the moment/whatever mood I'm in. I can involuntarily come up with bits of songs for a lot of different phrases/words (like "leaving" -- "Midnight Train to Georgia" or "Leaving on a Jet Plane"). It's sometimes annoying. :D I also used to own albums by Sublime, Orgy, 311, and others, but got rid of those when I "settled down." ETA: Two favorite instruments to hear: harpsichord & sitar. :lol:

I still haven't heard from DH, so... :leaving: They look like basic textbooks, broad, shallow, & colorful. BUT this could be a good spine for what is supposedly standard. They're meant to work with online resources for which one needs a subscription (no timeline or accountability), so that's neat, but I don't know if I'll pay monthly. My goal justification is that it will show us any gaps we have, as we move toward high school/college, and will at least offer a little blurb as a jumping off point for deeper study. ;)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for those sky-falling moments. It sounds like you're handling it well, generally, though. I hope things go as smoothly as possible and prayers sent for you and yours. I'd see the vacation as a fortuitous piece of provision. It would be a great time for open houses and walk-throughs, and it's a last hurrah before having to batten down the hatches. Have fun!