Bach was in my CD player in the van last week. Then DD changed it to Power Classics or something like that (think Flight of the Valkyries and such). I came to that game late, though--I can't place a lot of pieces with their composers. Very sad.

Which should disgust everyone--it's a user mentality, which is still dehumanizing. Except now we can all feel warm and fuzzy about it. That's one of several reasons why the way these conversations unfold gets really deep under my skin. bolt., how widespread is the understanding you're expressing on this thread? Could I go to any minority individual and expect them to agree with what you've said? The question goes doubly for if/when we get down to brass tacks about what specifically falls into cultural appropriation and what doesn't. I mean can we at least acknowledge that every minority community is made up of actual individuals who may or may not agree with either their spokesmen or the non-minorities who think they're doing anyone a favor by speaking for said community? Because though it's not really the same in my mind, I don't appreciate getting lumped into the "what women want" soapbox speeches. Unless the speaker asked me, they aren't speaking for me and I might vehemently disagree with whatever it is they're spouting. and I thoroughly do not appreciate being told I'm deficient in my womanliness for having a different opinion. That's super arrogant. I would hope not to show such arrogance to someone regarding their ethnicity, nationality, religion, etc. And I have in the past--out of ignorance, not malevolence. My view doesn't make me any less prone to stupidity. But it does make me less receptive to all this broad-brushed stuff. I just can't be. To me it denies nuance, autonomy, and drowns out individual voices. Too much boxing in and pigeon-holing; that's what we're trying to get away from, right?

Except, "dressing up as a solider" is generic, and costuming as a generic individual from a minority group has already been determined a taboo in this thread. So it has to be a specific, presumably outstanding individual. Someone who won medals. Do they not do the medals? Even hand-drawn cardboard ones? I mean, I'm not actually a fan of Halloween anyway, so if everyone stopped dressing up, I wouldn't be sad. Can we also remember that the source of the admonition in the OP came from Cosmo? Want to run a demographics search on their staff and readership? I'm honestly curious now, so I just might.

FTR, not only Hindus wear saris. As far as I understand, it's cultural, not religious. But it's also probably complicated (I'll probably go look it up later, now that I'm curious). I can't "like" this because I hate that it's happening, but I'm completely not surprised and this was why I wouldn't interact even in passing for a long time. I grew up with the guilt thing, and it actually made me feel more distant and kept me more ignorant than I am now. I'm still pretty ignorant, but starting from a "we're both ok," and staying open to personal education by real people in my actual physical space (presuming they aren't actually in my face ranting at me), seems to start to break down walls. The last time I think I accidentally offended someone, it's because that fear of offending popped up again when I mentioned "black" guiltily in some non-skin related context. I, of course, couldn't tell you the particulars of offense, but I could see it had a not-good effect. I remember thinking "****, I did that thing." It was an acquaintance from college, so I felt particularly bad. ETA: I know that's sort of OT, so PM if you want, or start a s/o.

My solution to this is to not read Facebook or Cosmo. ;) But I'm sorry; I can't feel strongly about this though, because all I want to do on Halloween is hide in my house and eat candy, and leave the mouth-foaming, whether political or religious, to others.

Thanks! I guess I'm autumn. :D The whole make up and fashion world is a mystery to me, but I'm naturally attracted to those colors and the season.

I'm so sorry.

Um...what does it mean?

No clue! I'd have to know lots of other homeschoolers to know that.

Nah. Just not my thing. :)

Wow do you live near me?! That and other things are why I'm not in a homeschool group.

Wasn't around then, but all that deserves this: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :party:

k

We had it the beginning of this month. Mild, really, but definitely flu-type virus.

This. Very much this. I'm coming around to this mindset, whereas before it was denial that 4 years of my life had any value at. all. (for so many more reasons than exes). Recently I've been reclaiming bits, here and there, as they come up. A poetry book, tie dye, music. This was a random thing that came up--there was nothing romantic in the memory triggered (though because I'm an awful storyteller, I guess it could have appeared that way at first, if one was already sensitive). And exes in general has been a tacitly taboo subject. I guess before I was comfortable with it, but now I'm not. Now that it's not taboo in my mind, I can look at things in a more nuanced manner and sort it all out for real. It's not absolutely necessary to share that process, but I'd like to. /shrug.

Pre-company cleaning frenzies were standard in my childhood. I've had to train myself out of them. :D

Happy anniversary! :party:

I may add more later, but really quick...if someone comments they should go and "get out of your hair," do you reassure them they're fine and not bothering you? With a few people this has happened to me and the mixed signals are confusing. Also maybe specify visiting window? About 3-4 hours is how long me and friends visit with each other. :o

Thanks for the responses so far. I had to take a lunch break, but to clarify some points from upthread... Well the hypothetical scenario truly is hypothetical. The actual anecdote directly involves the specific individual as the target of friend-group shenanigans (at a time when everyone really was just friends). No direct references to romantic history, but the history is known because we opted for more disclosure than less (which with this particular individual in the anecdote, is relatively little). But still, the individual is mentioned by name...on a date night, so bad timing for sure (impulsiveness is being worked on :leaving: ). Maybe there's more of an issue than timing, though, when dealing with the past? Or to each their own? This doesn't occur often, but it seems like a valuable area to explore to avoid future missteps. It's actually my pattern/attitude that's changed, because I threw the baby out with the bathwater, and now want to reclaim the good and innocent bits from among the very bad and stupid bits...if that's possible--maybe it's not? But clearly there are (huge?) blind spots in how to share either the process or those spontaneous memory moments, hence the thread. :) Reader, the last question is basically asking if your past is distinctly checkered, do you accept it all, reject it all, compartmentalize (ie: remember the part of that camping trip before everyone got plastered, etc.), other? Sort of clueless here (obviously).

Congrats! :hurray: I vote for wicker with removable cushions (assuming you have climate-controlled space to store the cushions). If you feel strongly about comfort and the 4-season idea and can make it happen soon, just focus on getting it done before buying furniture.

Closed for privacy of everyone and so they are not tempted to come ask Mommy for things just because they can see her. ETA: I still prop them when it thunders, though. :D

and random things bring back memories (a song a group of friends danced to and you happened to date one of the friends later on, for a hypothetical example--no air quotes). We are not talking about gory details--simply references, platonic anecdotes, etc. And for the record, said bothered spouse does not have even remotely similar history. Bothered spouse was much more straight-laced and innocent. What's the balanced solution there? And I guess a s/o of the s/o question is: if at least part of your past is a mix of serious regrets and fond memories, how do you view that within yourself?

Just responding to OP. I guess us? I'm an only child, DH is the eldest of two and SIL has already moved out of state. We joke about Alaska and Maine, but really I doubt we'll ever move away from where we are now. But when it comes up with either set of parents, I'm told not to worry about it. So... :confused1: DH and I haven't discussed it (as far as I can remember). I don't know what to do with any of that but be ready to step up if need be, however that looks. One major obstacle is that it's hard to predict the future, so beyond a general willingness in a completely formless future, I don't know what practical vision I could have.

Prayers!

4 play, 4 casual (as in 'go to the store' clothes), 4 pjs, 2 church, 4-5 pairs of shoes (athletic, casual, church, rain boots, slippers). Sometimes more is accumulated.