Jump to content

Menu

EMS83

Members
  • Posts

    1,933
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by EMS83

  1. The realtor seems to take this as a given. The lender wasn't so sure, though. I could well be confused. I'm thisclose to demanding a double move. Sticky widgets there being a) we have 2 large breed dogs, chickens, finches, a fish, and a hamster (yowzers!), b) lease terms (usually a year; we can't float rent + mortgage or we wouldn't be having this conversation), and c) I don't know if my family could live without all their "stuff" in storage for that long. ;)
  2. The market is...wonky here. Some things sell within a few weeks, some things sit for months, a few for years. This is not a busy season, really. And this one we're interested in that started this will really need an inspection, which means putting in an offer (and it being accepted), which means listing... Actually what really started this was a ridiculously good deal; I bet someone's in the process of flipping it. It lasted less than a week. Building? Is that even advisable? I hate the aesthetic of new homes and the floor plan of older homes, lol.
  3. Disclaimer: I know we're nuts and probably annoying to work with. My only defense is I warned the realtor in advance. So, we need more space. We are at about 235 sq.ft. per person, and we have 6 indoor pets (4 are thankfully little, but require habitats). No garage, basement, attic, shed, bat cave, you get the idea. I have a 200 sq.ft. storage unit I'm using in place of a garage. What we want: 2+ acres, 4+ bedrooms, no city limits, preferably at least one form of outdoor storage, fenced yard. Unfortunately, all of that rarely exists in our area within our budget. So the whole thing is like grabbing popcorn, if that makes sense. The catch(es): our house is not ready to list. It needs painting and staging at minimum. A few fixes here and there. I have a list. But DH doesn't want to do any of that unless we're ready to buy something. I don't really want to list it unless we're ready to buy, but I'm fine painting and staging and fixing (although I don't want to live in a staged home for 6 months, either). Plus, if one of our popcorns falls through, we have a house on the market and are not interested in settling for whatever's available. AND we're not averse to buying land and building. Do we: Just list it, sell it, and rent while we house hunt (or build)? List it when we find something we want to put an offer on, hope it all works out, then take it off the market if it doesn't? Stay here forever (I mean it's a perfect place to age)? Something I haven't thought of?
  4. I'm sure some people will choose to assume just that. :(
  5. We're people, though, not machines. We can only handle so much input of any kind, but particularly the tragic kind. After a while, our mind/brain will just start shutting things out to preserve our sanity. No one human person can handle the world's sorrow, but the news media seems to disagree. Add in the bombardments from advertising, entertainment, and social media and it's amazing to me anyone retains sensibility at all.
  6. Ok, I see how it could sound like that. No, I would not do anything that could result in rumors like that.
  7. Weird combo. Good to know though! But I'd like to know where the rumor thing came from? When did I even begin to imply I would be starting a rumor? Really it would be between telling the parents or the coordinator. Nowhere have I proposed to go talk to some random person about it or try to get the person expelled from the group. :confused1: The Hive excepted, of course; though I'm hoping I've been vague enough here.
  8. To be fair, I brought that up first. And I agree with you; it's just in my experience, those things fall along male/female lines most of the time. Not all of the time, obviously. I've said what I've said and I'm female.
  9. 3 feet away facing me, and just one individual, ftr. "These teens" just meant the teens of this particular larger group of people. Anyway, behavior alone wouldn't concern me. It's the combo of the type of behavior + eyes (abnormally constricted pupils in this case) that opens up the definite possibility. And only because if it is that, parents should know. They can deal with it--or not--however they choose. But I guess I'm just going to stay vigilant in the future, just in case. I agree, Heigh Ho, it could be a perfectly valid med. Which to me is sad in itself, in a way. **shrugs and sighs** :sad:
  10. Alrighty. I guess I'll stay mum for now. I will say don't laugh at pupil constriction or dilation being a concern in and of itself. Drugs in the system will do either unwaveringly, sometimes for hours, depending on the chemical. I didn't ask if this was a crazy conclusion to reach. It's not. I asked if I should say anything, because there are other possibilities. Often insignificant things is all you'll get with recreational drug use, though, so don't laugh at someone willing to pay attention and wonder. I'm in no way proposing to get pissy, accusatory, or judgmental with the parents because simply put, I have no ground from which to do so.
  11. I don't even know the parents' names, and my kids don't hang out with these teens. This was a one time, brief observation--like 5 minutes tops. Parents were there, too, but not exactly focused on the teen or even facing them. It's not something many people would even notice. I happen to know it's a definite possible cause, but don't want to be hypersensitive. This is something like a multi-family park picnic thing that happens regularly. People are all just socializing in their various ways and areas, but there is a coordinator.
  12. No, it was Cosmo objecting to white kids dressing up as non-whites. Or more accurately, Facebook people reacting to a Cosmo article on the subject. FTR, I've already encouraged us to consider the demographics of Cosmo's staff and readership. Plus...it's Cosmo. wth?
  13. :lol: Have heard this on another board from other non-white people (men, to be precise). I do want to submit that perhaps this is (also?) a male/female divide, though, because the men in my life are white, and also think the fuss is ridiculous.
  14. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Absolutely in that boat with you. I love that juxtaposition of belonging and fitting in. Lovely. I have been saying for years "I want to know where I belong." Most of my life has been all about fitting in somewhere (usually with the rebels). Here's hoping both your DH is willing to accept, value, and work with the "new" you. ;) FWIW, when I was in a college class on organizational management and behavior, they discussed group dynamics in terms of forming, storming, norming, and performing. I told DH just a couple of weeks ago, I refused to consider myself so much that we've been married 12 years and never really "stormed." So now we are and it's uncomfortable for me, but it really is necessary if we're going to actually have an authentic and productive marriage. There's a spiritual side to all of this for me, though.
  15. Not that I really had any "visions" growing up, but basically, this is all I wanted to do. Well, not the homeschooling part, because I didn't know that existed. But it wasn't like I had my wedding all planned out from age 9 and wanted children immediately (that just sort of happened that way). So yes, but it wasn't this huge dream or anything. I went to college because I didn't figure anyone would want to marry me and I'd have to support myself. That's where I met DH. :)
  16. Oh I'm sorry. What an extra layer of salt to go in the wound. :grouphug: Our two are the first dogs I've had under my care. We've had several weird issues it seems; idk. I've been all over the map, literally. :willy_nilly:
  17. The SkeptVet This seems to be as hot a topic as any, so I'm no intentionally starting anything (I realize by even posting this, the possibility now exists). I've just spend the past 3 years banging my head against all the various expressions of animal care and feeding, and "hearing" a voice willing to consider and criticize either side of this coin, as well as say "I don't know" or "we don't know yet," is a massive breath of fresh air. I wish I'd found him or someone like him before we got our first dog. Just in case anyone else out there is in my boat or shares my sensibilities.
  18. Make sure I had sides they would eat, and let them wait it out until breakfast. If it's the main thing, it's not the same every night. I've tried a few other things, but really, we can't make people eat. Find a good multivitamin if I was worried about deficiencies.
  19. I mean, I don't "like" it, but I totally feel you. I'm pretty salty over spending $$$ yesterday that I think was a dumb move (but I was totally fine with it yesterday). Same sleeplessness issue. Felt "out of it" most of yesterday. Today I was on the verge of a panic attack half the day. Now I'm tired. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
  20. Just to clarify, Hammfried...the cultural appropriation topic was expanded beyond costumes because it's generally floating around out in the ether and because of a linked speech from an author on the subject. I personally was responding to the sort of outcry against cultural appropriation the author related in her speech. The one person she quoted essentially said we can't eat ethnic food without permission. OT, I know. I'm sorry.
  21. I'll probably get flamed for all of this, but some thoughts on a few things: Colorblindness: The argument against this bugs me so. much. If what moms who are "teaching" their kinds not to "see" race are doing what I do, they're not sweeping anything or anyone under the rug. They're refusing to set the stage for their kids to see people different from them as "other" by not verbally pointing out very obvious differences. If they're pointed out for no reason, it ceases to be a normal part of life. Now it's "other." Children need to see not "us and them," but just "us." And they need to be taught to love us in all our beautiful array. They don't need "other" pointed out like some menagerie they own and live in. If there was actual running commentary about how there are no different and/or negative experiences, then that's crazy pants--even if one were talking about twins. I don't know about the larger social media world, but the things I've seen on this board that were labeled and downed as colorblindness was NOT trying to deny history or experience, but trying to hedge against the still-present tendency of white people in America to think of themselves as some sort of standard, which annoyingly makes its way into casual conversation. Whether it's a malicious bigot or a fawning patron, both attitudes spring from the same source and I spit on it. Sociologists: they need to be left in their sphere. Perhaps they are not making value judgments, but media is apparently taking their observations and twisting them into big old Shaming Sticks. I agree that dispassionately noting and recording historical and current trends is an important task. But that is not the sphere in which 99% of people operate, and so it really can't be useful beyond legislation and a very, very basic social awareness. Most of us move through life, barely touching most other people, forming some acquaintances and maybe a few deep friendships. It may sound unimpressive and even superficial, but this is where we actually expend our energy and where we should focus our efforts and examine our own attitudes. If we allow our sociology-based assumptions to cloud our interactions with real people in real moments, it's going to gum up the works. You'll have condescendingly written another's story for them because you read some blog post or peer-reviewed journal. As you said, bolt., sociologists aren't concerned with individuals and essentially class them into "rule" or "exception." We as individuals can't do that, because it is dehumanizing. An academic discipline has to do that to a certain extent, but people can't do that when actually interacting with other people. We are not binary. So I stand by my earlier statement--maybe sociologists accomplish something by pigeonholing people and cultures, but we can't live like that if we want unity (do we, though? I can't tell sometimes). Cultural appropriation: One thing that has apparently been hijacked from sociology and turned into some kind of flailing weapon with all the furor and damage and none of the structure or aim. I loved that author's speech that was linked upthread. I'm going to eat sushi. Know why? I like it. Seriously people. To say that non-white American (or white non-American, but I'll keep it simple) ethnicity can "appropriate" white culture but white people can't partake of any non-white culture in any way ever not only isolates whites from non-whites, but over time, it will erase non-white cultures because if non-whites blend their own culture with white culture (which happens), the original non-white culture will be watered down, so to speak. But white culture will be "pure" and well-preserved because they weren't allowed to borrow anything from anyone else. Does that sound like a good net result?? No? Didn't think so. Instead, start with a baseline of love and respect for, and a desire to learn from other individuals (both now and in history)--the rest should largely, albeit slowly, work itself out (and do not pat yourself on the back for attaining this baseline). If you make a faux pas, hope someone can and will kindly correct you--accept it they don't, then sincerely apologize for it, learn from it, and move on. I liked happiduck's link, too. My concern is when the anti-appropriation train goes sideways--saying you can't eat "ethnic" cuisine without permission and other similarly silly things. See above. But to the link itself, I'm glad to know a tiny shred more after reading that than I did. I knew nothing about New Zealand; now I know next to nothing. :D Side note: there's a KFC and a Chinese restaurant (among others) less than 1 km southeast of the Great Pyramid at Giza. How's that for jarring your sensibilities? ;) To me, blackface doesn't fall into the appropriation category because of what it almost exclusively was. The one exception I often think of is the book mentioned: Black Like Me. I think this was an educational use for blackface. There was such a divide at the time that an extreme approach was necessary to really open white people's eyes, and it even did mine when I read it 18 years ago. I would not recommend it be repeated now; we're in a different place as a nation. I don't know what I think about different shades of powder for various purposes, so I won't think about it. So there's your mess of stuff to pick apart. I've spent all morning with this so I'm going to go undirty my house and unignore my kids now. :leaving:
×
×
  • Create New...