My dh was raised with the open door policy. I wasn't. Dh's family is so bad that they will just walk on in the house rather than ring the doorbell! For a long time, it was a real source of strife in our marrige too! The boundaries had to be set (especially for his mother who lives 200 yards from our house). Other than this, I teach my kids that you do NOT invite yourself to stay with someone, including family (if you have been invited on the open door policy, I guess that is different...)

See, the only family history we have is that I am OCD and it presents as hypochondria. I also have generalized anxiety (but mostly anxiety over the diseases I fear I have as part of the ocd/hypochondria). My ex (B's dad) is very hyper and was considered by his mom "very hyperactive" in school. His mom was also easily distractible and very hyperactive (still is). She is "flighty" IMO. However, neither were ever diagnosed ADD or ADHD, neither had anger issues, and no one, including B has had any issues in school. B is extremely smart, thinks outside the box on many levels....but he is also not "overly" smart. He doesn't speak in words above his age level (as was mentioned in an autism and aspergers site I looked at). I don't really want a "diagnosis" as much as I just want help for him (and us)!

Congratulations!!!

Those would also be great for my CLE workbooks. :) Thanks for the tip!

I am a real supporter of well-checks and both of my kids have yearly ones that include blood work, eye/hearing exams, urine testing, etc. I wonder if this is enough? The doctor and i talk about behavior as well. Should I be more specific and ask for certain tests? Or would a normal yearly well check be encompassing of this?

Autism and aspergers have been ruled out previously with the other testing done. They did not test for bi-polar or ODD at the time because they refused to diagnose a child that young with those things. I am pretty certain we are not dealing with Autism or Aspergers also because he just doesn't fit the symptoms otherwise. I really focused on his "bad" moments in these posts, and I probably should have at least mentioned his good sides. When B is alone with us, he can be wonderful. He can be loving (appropriately), will work willingly at whatever we ask him to do, and has matured and grown nicely. He just has so much anger inside him. He commonly tells me that his brother gets more fair treatment than he does, etc. One night, he told me that his brother was lucky because his REAL dad tucks him in at night. My dh has been with B since B was only 3 years old...but B knows the difference. He knows that dh is not his real dad and his real dad does not make a good effort to see him (30 days a year...maybe). B then blamed the divorce and him not having his dad here to kiss him goodnight on ME. So I know there are hurts there...

This makes me think of Agoraphobia. I have lots of experience with anxiety (I suffer greatly from GAD myself). I am not sure you can put a limit on his fears nor is it possible to make him "just stop it." Is he seeing a therapist/counselor?

It is good to hear you say that it doesn't seem like bipolar to you. I wonder, then, why this therapist seemed so bent on "ruling it out"??? For my son's sake, I would love for it not to be really anything more than some ADHD along with issues caused by the divorce. Then, it would be something we could work with without meds. His ADHD is under control in that he does not struggle to learn or function. He talks non-stop and gets mad at the drop of a hat...but we homeschool and can work with him on these things. It scares me to think he may have a chemical brain disorder that the only real answer for is meds. I have OCD and the way mine presents, I will likely spend my LIFE on and off of meds. I don't want that for my son! :(

I am sorry to have not made that clear. He WAS tested. He has gone through testing twice. First time, he was 4. The testing was done over a series of several appointments and he was dignosed, at the end, with ADHD and GAD. At 6, he was re-evaluated by the school system (at the time, we were in GA) and again, the diagnosis was ADHD. Medicine was started and changed 4 times - each time, it was ineffective. There was a period of time from around 2nd-3rd grade where B's behavior at school was improving. The entire time he was in ps, he was in special ed behavior classes and had an IEP. So yeah, this is NOT the first time we have sought help. We had a bad experience with a counselor at the school (big long story, definitely not one I want to get into on a forum) and I stopped all school related therapy then and there. There were some leading questions asked without my consent and a whole lot of misunderstandings. In the years of trying the ADHD meds and the counselor at school, *I* never saw any real improvement at home. At school, he was kept busy with work and therefore had fewer outbursts and issues. He is diligent about his school work and when something is put in front of him, he will do it and do it well (kind of not ADHD-ish, huh?) Anyway - we have had struggles in the last 3 months with feelings of abandonment and then of course the anger and the things he chooses to utter...

:confused::001_huh: Wow...just when you think you have heard every single homeschooling "what if" imaginable, THIS shows up. Apparently they are scraping the bottom of the barrel for "what if's" these days because that question falls under the 1980's song category, "Things that make you go...hmmmmm..."

No, but I have been. When I was pregnant with ds 10, I had to get state medical insurance. I had it through my whole pregnancy and up to a few months after baby was born. Then ex-h and I had no insurance at the time, even though baby was covered for up to a year. We are very blessed to now have a great insurance with my dh's company that covers all 4 of us for a very reasonable price.

OMG! I.Love.it!

If it is their first year homeschooling, they can re-think all day long and still not necessarily find the groove with the curriculum they settle on. Last year was my first year homeschooling my older ds (I have homeschooled ds6 since day 1) and he had come out of public school. Last year was a LOT of trial and error. This year, I feel so much better and more well prepared. I actually did buy an entire selection of curriculum and then decide to simplify and change around May. However, that one big change I made early on has been great!

Lord, isn't that the truth! And it takes an act of God to get him off the couch and in the bed. He can't understand why I don't want to watch a movie upstairs with him on the couch "callin' hogs"...hmmmm...CAUSE I CAN'T HEAR THE TV PERHAPS?? :glare:

I am usually online during the day when dh is at work. However, when I do come on in the evenings, he is typically already in bed.

Farm Bureau insurance. We have 2 newer cars under full coverage (2004 Honda Accord and 2007 Toyota Rav 4) is $1150 a year (that translates to $96 a month, but we don't pay monthly). This is 100/300/100 and includes rental coverage, $1000 deductible).

I literally loathe Miracle Whip. Gag. (My evil step-mother used it when I was a kid and that may play some part in my extreme dislike of the product). I would wave goodbye to the $6 as I dumped it down the drain. If the jar is nice, you could save it and make yourself feel a bit better. LOL

Absolutely NOT. I was pulled over by a cop when I was 19 - I was 8 mos pregnant and got in the wrong lane to turn in a new neighborhood. We had JUST moved there and it was a busy street. The cop was an a$$ and when I explained being new to the area to him (and being obviously pregnant and married...not out drunk or messing around), his words were "TELL IT TO THE JUDGE." He was the biggest a$$hole cop EVER. The rest have either been nice enough or right enough for it not to matter. But this one guy. UGH! I still get a little hot thinking about it!

Thank you all for the kind responses, stories, and pms. They are all greatly appreciated. I want to share a bit more of our story and I hope that is okay. My older son was different from *birth*. Literally, at 9 months old, his dad and I (being young parents and never having really been around kids) still KNEW he was different. In daycare and around other kids, he was just not normal. B is the kind of child that would get angry at his toys. When he was a baby, if the square peg didn't fit in the round hole, he would scream, cry, and throw the toy across the room. At 10, if the video game character runs out of life, he will slam his fist on the desk, rip the game out of the wall, and throw it across the room. Please don't think that, in those 9 years, I have "allowed" this behavior or thought it was okay. Normally, I calmly tell him that "if his toy is making him that mad, we need to put it away." He does, but then is angry that he had to put the toy away and will lay in his bed under the covers and cry. In about 10 minutes, though, he is up and happy and acting as if nothing ever happened. If I remind him it happened, he will acknowledge it did, but still will move on and at that point his answers to any "why" type questions become "I can't remember" or "I don't know." When he was 5 and in Kindergarten, he stabbed a child in the head with a pencil. The boy was hiding under the table and the teacher called for all the kids to line up. The boy apparently wasn't moving fast enough a B got mad. He often gets mad when someone isn't following the rules and will lash out at them. Now, he does it verbally but as a 5 year old, he did it physically. By the time he started Kindergarten, he had been asked to leave 3 different daycares. He had physically injured 3 children to the point where the parents refused to bring their child back unless my child was asked to leave. When he was 3, I divorced his dad. This hurt him deeply as his dad makes little effort to see him. The older he gets, the more obvious this becomes to him and he struggles with a lot of emotions he won't discuss with us. This is why we started with the therapist. A few more key points from our experiences.... B has never accepted love. He is not a loving child. His grandmother (ex h's mom) remarked about this when B was only about a year old. When he does try to hug people now, he does it inappropriately. For isntance, I was sitting on the potty once - he barged into the bathroom just as I was about to (ahem...TMI...but you have to get the effect here) use the toilet paper and he hugged me AT THAT MOMENT. He has also been known to hug people as they are putting food in their mouth. He is just very inappropriate with his affection. When he was a little younger, he woudl cling to his principal's leg as she walked down the hall. She would tell him, "B...this is not appropriate...stop" but he didn't. He did this with random people - basketball coaches, etc. It got to the point where we had to really spend a lot of time telling him WHY this was not okay or acceptable. He has always talked 15 decibals above normal. He has no voice regulation or control. He will argue with Jesus Christ if given the chance. He always has something to say and some, very rude, way to say it. About a month ago, he threatened to stab his brother with is breakfast fork. He over reacts to most minor situations and is found in a total rage over something so utterly small, it wouldn't matter to most people (in the above example, his brother brushed past him to get some water which caused B to feel "pushed" and retaliate by holding a fork in the air and threatening to stab his brother). Note here too that brother is not even 6 yet and B will be 10 in a few weeks. He always has to be first in line and will shove and push and fight to get there. Getting hot makes him angry. He has, in the last year, uttered the words, "I will kill you" while angry at his brother (twice) and then at his cousin at the beach just last month. His cousin is 13 years old, 6 foot tall, and weighs over 200 pounds. B was ready to fist fight him. At summer camp (BIBLE CAMP of all places), B fist fought several times. Thing is..he can be that was one second and then the anger is just GONE. He doesn't understand why people are still mad 10 minutes after something happens. He is over it as quickly as it came on him. It totally baffles us all. Things that the counselor heard that made him want to test for bi-polar were that B wet the bed until he was 8, was diagnosed with ADHD but is very high functioning and does not distract to the point of not being able to complete his work and do it correctly (ADHD diagnosis never really "fit" from day one), the clingyness and inappropriateness, the rages/anger, and the swings from horrible anger to "what happened" type behavior in such a short time, the comments about "I will kill you." He did assure me that he did not think B was truly contemplating such things at this time - that he had likely just found a way to express his anger that got a response...but that we had to watch it closely (and trust me, we have been!) Family histoty - I dont' know of anyone in the family on either side with bi-polar, though I suffer from OCD, hypochondria, and anxiety that has been really bad for the last 6 years especially. I had a therapist do some testing on me once and suggest that I could be Bi-polar - but not enough on the test showed to make it a hands down diagnosis. I do not have hallucinations and never have. However, my mood swings are UGLY and often I have no idea why they are what they are. I do have periods where I am depressed and then periods where I am happy with everything around me. So sure, maybe it is possible. Meds like Lexapro regulate me nicely, though. As for the therapist...he is the clinical coordinator and director of children and youth services and was appointed by the Governor as the Northeast Representative to the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth. His credentials are LPC-MHSP (which I think means he is a Licensed Professional Counselor with further training in diagnosis and assessment of psychopathology). He was highly recommended by a friend who actually works with him. She is a friend from church but is also a case manager for kids in our county who have mental health issues. He is also very conservative on medication and prefers to do all he can without meds before resorting to them. Obviously, some conditions require them right off though. So...this is where we are. We have an appt Aug 6 to go back for the evals. Then we should know the results the following visit. I'd say that in a month from now, we will have more answers.

My 10 year old is seeing a therapist for behavior issues (I posted about some of them recently in another thread) and the therapist we saw today immediately told me that he needed to rule out Bi-polar disorder. He told me that he won't say anything for sure until the assessments are complete, but he suspects (based on my many descriptions) that this could be what we are dealing with. When my son was 4 (and had been kicked out of umpteen daycares), we had him tested. At the time, I did my own research on bi-polar in kids and I remember them blowing off my request for them to test him for it. I think he was just too young for them to comfortably diagnose it then. They went with ADHD instead. However, ADHD has never really fit perfectly. Some things, yeah...other things, not at all. So...for anyone who has a child with bi-polar disorder - care to share your experiences? ANYTHING would be helpful right about now. Thanks so much!

It really sounds like a boil from your description. They are large (dime sized or bigger), have a head that is mostly red like the bump, but sometimes turns white or yellow, and they hurt to the touch. Google "boil photo" and see if any of those look similar. If it is a boil (which is really just a staph infection), you can apply warm compresses 2-3 times a day and try to get it to come to a head and pop. Don't pop it yourself, though as it can spread the infection.

LOL...I read this and was totally lost! hehe I had all sorts of boys battling with spaghetti squash pictures floating around in my noggin. :lol:

I cut it in half, scoop out the seeds, fill the "bowls" with butter and bake it for about half an hour. YUMMY! Edit: Mine is obviously NOT in the low fat category.

Would Christ have felt this way? Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matthew 7.1-5 I realize it is likely that you never had an abortion, but is your sin, in some way, more okay in the eyes of God? In the eyes of man, one sin can be worse than another...but in the eyes of God, they aren't. Thou shalt not kill is written on the same stone as "Honor your mother and father" and "Thou shalt not bear false witness (Lie)." Your response is so hard for me to understand becuase my best friend made this choice. No, I don't agree with her choice, but I understand her fear and her anguish and I see, everyday, her heartache over what she did. She has to make peace with GOD...not with ME. All I can do is love her the way I always have. God works through his people...

Maybe if we grew 99% of our food ourselves....