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Heathermomster

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Posts posted by Heathermomster

  1. 23 minutes ago, TechWife said:

     

    I can't see anything other than cute faces in your picture.

    You asked how the OP would be punishing her child at home. My answer is - don't punish a child for a disability. To be clearer, the OP should do absolutely nothing in the way of punishment.

    Straightforward person that I am,  I think you should be grateful you can't "fathom" getting crickets. Because in our house, it isn't "crickets" - it's the confusion/misunderstanding/disorganization/etc. that comes along with EF issues. I am not sure you fully understand the nature of EF issues and how they affect daily life. 

     

     

     

    What part of sitting down at the table and breaking down assignments with my DS makes me not understand EF?  I’ve literally sat by my child every school day for 6 years.  

    Btw: I heard plenty of crickets at the table.  Her child never made it to the table.  

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  2. 27 minutes ago, TechWife said:

     

    The big thing to remember is that children with ADHD aren't disobeying. They have a disability. There is a huge difference. Disabilities don't get punished.

    Think of it this way - if someone were in a wheelchair and you told them to get up and walk, and they didn't, would you say they were disobedient? It's the same thing. People with ADHD have EF issues - their brain doesn't work the same way that a NT person's brain does.  Among other things, it means that they don't experience time the way that NT people do and often they have difficulty connection actions & consequences if they are separated by a period of time. There are tons of other things that go hand in hand with it as well.

    My son went to a private school K-2. Every single thing he did wrong was deemed disobedience. I never should have left him in there past kindergarten. First grade was a nightmare and second grade only slightly better. I learned this lesson the hard way & I feel compelled to repeat it - disability is not disobedience.

     

    Look at my pic and see that little girl in the wheelchair?  That is my sister.

    I understand full well that disability is not disobedience.  Read on in the thread where I clarified my comments.  

    I cannot fathom telling my 6th grader to sit down and work on their assignments and then getting crickets.  I mentioned supplying the scaffolding as well.  My DS issues involved getting the completed work safely turned into the teacher inbox, not the actual completion of the assignment.

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  3. 2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

    And if I were guessing, that is probably fading somewhat and maybe in sort of the range of parenting level. You're not in there with his syllabii writing his assignments into his planner, haha. He's been doing that for himself. He's doing stellarly. He's using his tech and problem solving. He's clearly doing well and DOING it. 

    This is the kind of thing where success breeds success.

    Thank-you.

    At the beginning of the year, we talk strategy, but he’s sorting it.  

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  4. 1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

    Or even work for that particular child once he's in college.

     

    And when you can no longer "punish" a 19 or 20 year old college student for not finishing his work by preventing him from hanging out with friends, what then?

    My 2e dyslexic/dysgraphic/ADHD child uses full academic accommodations through his uni’s DSS.  He’s a leader in his frat, serves on the SGA, and maintains his gpa to keep his partial scholarship. I serve as an EF coach.  My little birdie is flying.  Thank-you for asking.  I pray every day that he keeps trying.

    ETA:  BTW, he lives 1.5 hours away and resides on campus.

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  5. 2 hours ago, DawnM said:

     

    I would go a step further and say that no one responds well to punitive punishments.  All consequences should be restorative in my opinion.  

    The assumption is that there is no restorative talk with discipline.  That might be true depending upon the parents and their worldview; however, that does not describe DH or me.  We absolutely use restorative talk. Now allow me to define our home’s punishment:  no movie night, no sleepover, and/or no trip to the local water park.  
     

    My child doesn’t have any social delays.  It is true that the cortical thickness of the brain of an ADHD student has been measured to be thinner and thickens with age.  The prefrontal cortex develops more slowly with the ADHD individual and brain matures up to 30 yo.  ADHD students can be 3 years behind maturity wise and that was mentioned previously.  
     

    I write the above to say that when my non spectrum 6th grader was in school, I was working in close contact with certain faulty.  If there was an issue with an assignment, EF or otherwise, I told the teacher, and I didn’t do that often because DS was accommodated.  DS worked with a volunteer staff member at least twice a week.  That staff member happens to be a good friend of mine and I would tell her if there was issue that she could address.  Anyways, I’m clarifying here.  My DS is an extreme extrovert who loved being a dude.  He would do just about anything to be with his friends and we harnessed that desire to motivate him.  Obviously, that is one way to do things because grades were not his motivation.

  6. 41 minutes ago, maize said:

    You say you understand executive function but you offer a parenting strategy that depends on executive function to be successful.

    It worked for your child. This does not mean it will work for every child or even most children with executive function difficulties.

    Did I declare myself the mouthpiece for students with ASD?  Please allow me to clear the record now.  I am not.  ASD kiddos require entirely different therapeutic methods and they have been discussed multiple times over at the Learning Challenges Board.

    My DS works with a CBT and he calls the the method Achievement Motivation. I mentioned it during the pinned Teaching EF Skills discussion on the General board.

     

     

     

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  7. 53 minutes ago, maize said:

     

    Sounds like you had a parenting method that resulted in compliance in your child.

    In general, kids with executive function difficulties don't respond well to punitive parenting styles. Thing is, to think through and act on "if I do this behavior I will experience this consequence" requires good executive function.

    Here's a short description of what executive function is:

    Executive function refers to brain functions that activate, organize, integrate and manage other functions. It enables individuals to account for short- and long-term consequences of their actions and to plan for those results. It also allows individuals to make real-time evaluations of their actions and make necessary adjustments if those actions are not achieving the desired result.

    https://chadd.org/about-adhd/executive-function-skills/

    Thank-you.  I understand EF very well and my student is not on the spectrum.  We broke the projects down together and I was present clearing off the table, providing supplies, and reviewing the assignment to clarify understanding.  By denying my son the ability to attend a birthday party or playing a video game for a month provided him motivation.

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  8. This thread is very odd to me.  When DS was at home, he only had a few responsibilities one of which was obeying his parents and teachers and the other was doing it with a happy heart.  Obviously, those goals were difficult at times, but they were always expected.

    My DS was never given an option to complete his school work.  When DS was in 6th grade, I made every effort to communicate with his school and teachers because everyone knew that he had multiple SLDs, and we were working together as a team.  The teachers held my DS to much higher standard that they held themselves.  It was a private school and DS wanted to be there because he grew up with those kids.  When a big assignment was assigned, the staff knew we needed the assignment early so that DS and I could break it down together.  If DS chose not to complete the assignment, I considered that to be disobeying, like whether he refused point blank to take out the trash after being told to do so.  Not completing homework has never been an option whether EF struggles were present or not because we gave him no excuse and he was expected to comply.

    So my question is this.  The OP's DD completed the assignment and may likely be awarded an A.  How will the OP be punishing her child at home?  Because as far as I can tell, she told to DD to work on the project and the DD disobeyed her.  I am much more concerned about that lesson than I am about one associated with the grade. 

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  9. 1 hour ago, kbutton said:

    No direct EF benefit from reflex work, but indirectly, yes. It's one less thing for the EF to be sidetracked by if that makes sense.

    Connective tissue disorders can also derail the permanence of reflex work.

    I guess we had one exception to the reflexes for EF--if brushing fixes the startle reflex (Moro?, which doesn't manifest the same way in all kids), then we did find that a brushing protocol helped EF because my son was less hypervigilant, and he didn't go fight or flight all the time. He still needed ADHD meds later on though--it wasn't a fix, just a help.

    Working on reflexes has never yielded anything negative here, only positive, even when things didn't completely integrate.

    Kbutton pointed out meds.  Meds for attention deficits may be necessary alongside CBT work unless the student is on the spectrum, which requires a different therapeutic approach.
     

    The bottom line is that it is important that you understand your child’s diagnosis.  The STNR and ATNR reflexes made sitting and focusing difficult for my DS which aggravated the EF situation.

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  10. About the EF thread...pay special attention to what Lewelma stated in her first post.  I didn’t think about it much at that time, but I over taught my son when he took external classes.  DS performed well in the classroom because he is smart and I tutored him.  We also experimented with schedules, timers, and study skills so that he could slowly support himself well into his senior year of high school. His fresher year at uni was a test and he did well.  I still act as his periodic EF coach and remind him of ways to study.  Cornell Notes have been awesome.  Mothering a student with EF issues takes a ton of persistence and patience and is very difficult.

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  11. OP, does your child have any diagnosis?

    My situation differs from Lecka and PeterPan because my DS is 2e with maths/handwriting/reading SLDs and no ASD/social thinking issues.  His EF at around aged 14-16 was crazy off the chain.  He still struggles with EF but has shown improvement with age.  I don’t recall whether I mentioned this on the EF thread, but my son worked with a pediatric PT when he was in the 10th grade 2 x weekly for four weeks.  Once the prim reflexes are integrated, the postural ones take over.  He still had the ATNR and STNR refexes so completed bilateral coordination work, weight training, and balance exercises followed by postural exercises.  After the exercises, son was finally able to learn how to swim and began working out with the local 8-man, homeschool football team.  Exercise strengthens the connections between the left and right sides of the brain.  About 60 minutes following exercise is a good time to study because focus during that time is elevated.  
     

    EF is affected by more than developmental  motor issues.  Brain maturity, working memory, and processing speed directly affect EF and with deliberate work, EF can be improved but your child has to be motivated to buy into the program.  Once my DS completed the ped PT work, I immediately set out to find a competent CBT who could help us manage son’s EF.  After about 3 months of searching and working with CBTs, we settled on a CBT that helped us organize.  My son started practicing 5 minutes of mindfulness breathing 5 times per week.  There were other things as well.  Email me offline if you have questions.

    it seems fairly common for kiddos diagnosed with ASD to require repeat visits to the OT/PT for reflex work.  It can also be difficult to find a competent OT, and that is why I recommended seeking for a ped PT and CBT.  The combo was life changing for my son.
     

     

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  12. Okay....DS spoke with the department head at his uni last week and requested a foreign language substitution.  DS discovered that to earn a BA in history at his uni, he must take two semesters of a language.  To earn a BS in history, foreign language is not required; therefore, son’s foreign language hurdle is gone.  It seems son’s biggest hurdle now is to do the work and complete his assignments, which will be challenging enough for a dyslexic/dysgraphic taking a humanities course load.  I’ve never heard of a BS degree in history.  Who knew?  So the moral of the story is to speak directly with any potential university dept head.  The DSS had insinuated the answer was yes but was very vague on specifics.  

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  13. Do they have to read books or can it be articles?

    My DH grew up in Northern California with a large population of Sikhs who had fled religious persecution in India. Then there were the Jewish Ethiopians airlifted to Israel during Operation Solomon.  I am also thinking about Zoroastrian persecution, but you’d need to look that up.  

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  14. DS types **at best** 30 wpm.  He’s been using an Echo Smartpen since the 10th grade.  He’s been taking outside classes and sitting in NT classrooms throughout high school.  His uni supplies dictation sw and Echo Smartpens as the accommodation for SLD of written expression because the pen records lecture audio.  The dictation sw was flaky and DS became frustrated with it.  I have no idea whether these accommodations are typical of other schools.  My son takes Cornell style notes and summarizes lecture notes after class. He also participates in study groups with classmates.  He downloads PowerPoints for lecture provided by the professors and stores them on his iPad.  The ppts are generally color filled and too costly to print on actual paper.  

    Off the top of my head, I can think of about three varieties of smartpens.  The first variety of smartpen records the written notes and lecture audio on the actual pen.  The notes are taken using the pen with a special notebook. Afterwords, the data on the pen can be transferred to desktop software using a usb cable.  The Echo Smartpen works this way.  A second variety of smartpen syncs with an Android or iOS device via bluetooth to store the handwritten notes which are written on special paper.  The audio of the lecture is recorded using the Android/iOS app and synced to the handwritten notes within the app.  My son likes the notes on his phone because he can review often. The Newyes, Neo N2, and Aegir Smartpens all work this way.  The final way to record audio and sync with handwritten notes is to use an iPad with the bluetooth Apple pen and write notes directly inside the Notability app.  Other iOS apps exist for note taking, and I’m no expert.  I expect a Win Surface might have the ability to sync audio with notes as well.  It seems likely but I don’t know for sure.

    LaTex has been recommended for typing math.  My son typed everything except math during middle and high school.  He took chemistry and physics with algebra at the cover.  I encouraged my son to use as much paper as he needed for math problem-solving. The university gave him graph paper for his math class along with testing in isolation and extended test taking time.

    DS has also used his phone to take pictures of notes and the board.  Did I answer your questions?  

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  15. My son is a sophomore at uni and took an intro to history class where he turned in an 8 page term paper and every exam was essay answer.  In high school while taking algebra based physics, several of his labs required writing with abstract paragraphs, the process, and concluding results of the labs.  For college freshmen writing first and second semesters, he wrote essays once per week and was required to write a 8-10 paged research paper.  Both his bio and earth science classes required summary sentence responses.  My DS is diagnosed dyslexic and dysgraphic too, and I’m telling you now that he needs to learn to write plenty and often, and I say that as a BSEE.

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  16. DD is awesome!  She has a cold, but is otherwise great.  

    DS seems to be doing well AFAIK.  We drive about 40 minutes and meet DS half way from his uni occasionally, like when he needs something.  We met last night and ate dinner.  DS is very happy and earned A’s on all of his first round of major tests.  He has a big paper and essay exam coming up the week prior to Thanksgiving for his history and religion class.  
     

    This posting is about to get confusing and I apologize in advance.


    Son’s biggest challenge is his iphone and smartpen situation.  The Echo Smartpen desktop software quit working on his Mac, so he has no way to download the audio from his college lectures. The uni’s accommodation for dysgraphia is the Echo Smartpen, and it works great with our Win 10 pc, but I’m not buying another laptop.  Son’s Mac was a high school graduation present intended to get him through college and the costs...oh, the costs...Anyhoo...

    We replaced the Echo with a NEO N2 smartpen.  The N2 stores the handwriting portion of his notes taken during lecture while the lecture audio must be stored on the iphone using the N2 app.  This is new and inferior tech.   Son’s Echo stored both audio and handwriting on the smartpen itself.  Now here’s the rub: my son’s iphone 7 quit working thanks to a manufacturing problem called “loop back” disease.  Apple currently has a class action law suit filed against them over the iphone 7, but I digress...My son is currently not using his Smartpen accommodation because he has no means to record the audio and sync his handwritten notes.  Without the audio, he can’t go back and relisten to lecture he may have missed.  
     

    Needing an operable phone, we ordered DS two renewed phones off of Amazon and neither has worked.  Both phones have been returned and one will be replaced with all kinds of promises... It’s been irritating, but then he scored all A’s which seems to indicate that he doesn’t require the smartpen accommodation.  How did that happen?  He still uses audio books, extended test taking time, and types all of his work.  
     

    The only advantage that I can see to the NEO N2 Smartpen is that it digitizes son’s handwriting.  With the notes backed to his phone, he was able to review the notes whenever he wanted.  Now he’s back to plain old pen and paper until the phone situation gets sorted.  Prayers please....I could really use prayers...

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  17. We quit spelling in 5th grade, and DS was using a keyboard with spell check in the 6th grade.  I kinda regret that now.  If I could wave a magic wand and go back in time, I would use a morphology and roots based spelling program, and I would implement it after VT and reflex work.  The issue with stopping spelling is that it feels nice to not have that fight over it every day, so you may be sorely tempted to not pick it up again later.
     

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