Okay, here we go again. The nightly shower dilemma. We have been doing the same routine for 8 stinking years now. You think she'd get used to it. "Why can't I shower in the morning? I feel so much better when I do." Me: "Because you have been playing, running and built up a sweat. Your sheets will need changing sooner. You will have to wake up and shower at 6 a.m. Your sister, whom you share a room with, showers at night. It won't be fair to her for you to set the alarm for 6 a.m. to shower and wake her up when she had already done what she was supposed to." Her: "I will wake up by myself." Me, because I'm at my whit's end and don't want to engage in an argument yet again, "Okay. I will give you this chance. If you don't wake up and shower on your own at 6 a.m., we will have to go back to my routine." Her: "Okay." I am trying to avoid the conflict; what's it hurting? I'm trying to allow "natural consequence" to happen here. I don't know what other one would apply here. But at this point, I just wanted to yell and say, "Dammit! You will shower now because this is the way we've always done it. I'm your mother! Don't question me and DO IT!!!! (Insert tantrum here) What would you do??? Now I feel like a sucker because I feel like I gave in to her.

So far, I find myself laughing at certain points of the book because it's like the book was written from our experiences. There are some parts that don't apply to us and her personality like the depression, fears. I am definitely already applying some of the suggestions. The hardest part is biting my tongue and allowing natural consequences. I feel like I'm giving in when I'm not constantly pushing her and constantly after to do something. One of our issues is shower time. Last night it took her A WHOLE HOUR for her to get into the shower from the time that she was asked. I simply said, It's late. All lights are going out, and you will have to dress and shower quietly and put yourself to bed. It nearly killed me to just lay in bed, allowing her to just play in the bathroom, without me storming in and yelling. I just feel like a pushover! Am I wrong??? It didn't seem to bother her too much. I'll try that a few more nights. I don't see any other natural consequence to that issue.

Well, I immediately bought Strong-Willed Child or Dreamer last night. I started crying at the intro and the first chapter because now I feel so bad that I have misunderstood the beautiful little person that she is, and it hurts that perhaps I've caused all the turmoil unintentionally by not understanding how her mind works. I do, too, agree that if it gets to the point of posting on the web for help, there needs to be some resolve. I feel so dumb that I try to be the best mom that I can be and it never occurred to me that she may process things differently that the "doer" that I am. I think with her personality and my being wound too tight are not meshing. I tend to hold her to high standards and expect so much of her because I know she is capable. And what really, really, really blows my mind is when she does not perform on command, so to speak. I mean, I have tried the warnings, the taking time outs myself, putting her in time out, spanking, losing privileges, reward charts, natural consequences, redirecting, ignoring, me going to therapy, read book after book, and nothing seems to fit her personality and nothing gives examples of the things we go thru, thus no possible solution. I'm eager to get further into the book to find out how to deal with the dreamer and apply some techniques and see what happens. Thanks to all of you who gave input.

I wanted to add an example of how sweet she is. Tonight I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying because I had a rough night. My husband put her to bed. A while later she comes and asks to talk to me. She says, "Mommy, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for disappointing you and making you cry. I love you." What is the deal?! Now I know she knows exactly what she is doing when we're in an argument, and that whatever it is, is not a good choice, so why does she do it? Why, if you get the same results, does she not change her actions? Or maybe I should ask myself that same question! But, wait, I do; that's why I go to therapy.

I love the way outsiders can shine a light on something you bang your head against the wall about; that she would still be the same child no matter where she is. But when she was in private school, she was so eager to please and would never do the things she does to me, to teachers there. I just don't get it. And as far as the counseling; no shame there. I have given her the benefit of the doubt and thought that it's me and my issues that set me off. She's just a kid, pushing limits to find boundaries. That's just how she is. She's not going to change, so I need to. It's me; not her. She's only 5, 6, 7, now 8. I have made all of those excuses for her ( I guess), and I have attended therapy to try to resolve whatever issues I have to become the mom I think I should be and to fix what I think I've wronged in her. Then I come back renewed and with a new outlook, just to face the same kid. She truly is a great, smart, sweet, affectionate, generous, lovable little girl. It's just that all is peachy until we ask her to do something she doesn't want to, like time for bed, time for math, leave the dogs alone, time to shower, put that game away. Then all h-e, double hockey sticks breaks loose! Most of the time I just deal, but I'm so tired of it. So what kind of therapist specializes in this type of kid?? Thanks!

Just looking to vent right now about my defiant, strong-willed, know-it-all, smart-mouthed 8 year old daughter. Am I too lenient? Coddle her? Not strong enough myself? Too hard? I don't know. I want to just put her in school and be done. But that is the easy way out for me and not in her best interest. I'm standing firm and praying hard. What a night!!!

Hardy copy!

Okay. I ordered Times Tales for my 10-y-o dd who is struggling with times tables. I'll post progress when we make some! Thanks for the ideas.

That exact change didn't work; but in messing around with that "scaling mode" option, the one that fixed it for me is "fit print range(s) on number of pages." Ta-da! Thanks again!

Got it. Thanks so much. I opened it with OpenOffice on my Mac. It looks great :hurray: . C, front page cuts off the bottom half of boxes 13-15.

I followed your link and it says, access is restricted. request access from the owner, which I did. so that will be me requesting access. Can't wait to see it! Thanks for sharing.

We just discovered audio books. My 10-year-old needs much more reading for vocabulary exposure, and my 8-year-old just needs chill time. They went over really well, to my surprise! We started with The Runaway Dolls and Shiloh.

I so need something like this as well with my bilingual daughter. And I feel the same way; the more you correct, the worse it seems to get. I've just been pulling worksheets from random web sites to help us with this. I'm going to check out the Easy Grammar and R&S suggestion.

Math and language (reading, writing, spelling, vocabulary). I get so fixated on those that I run out of time to do the rest! I need to do better in incorporating other topics, as I know we will get the language portions from doing the other subjects as well.

TWTM all the way. I wouldn't have HSed without it. When I am at a loss or get off track, I always go back to read it, and it puts me back on the right path. :thumbup1:

Great work! I, unfortunately, do not know how to sew, but my 8- and 10-year old are taking sewing classes from a neighbor and they absolutely love it!!

Thanks for all the great ideas. I can use these as well. :D

I can't wait to try these, too. I love highlighters!!!

Here is the solution. I bought a 4x8 sheet of foam board at Home Depot for $8. It's so light and worked great. I cut it with my serrated kitchen life, like slicing thru butter. I put the world map on one side and the U.S. map on the other. Just the solution I was looking for. Thanks for the idea!

Oooh! I love this idea with the cork board! See, that's why I decided to post this question. I've been thinking too hard for an easy solution.

I have two large (4x3) wall maps, one U.S. and one world. We use both quite often and I love them. The problem is I don't have wall space for both, and it's a pain to roll them and and spread them on the table or tape them to the wall every time we have to swap maps. Any ideas on how I can have easy access to both?? Thanks! Dollie

:iagree: I've been overly disappointed in my recent search for curriculum, having to ready thru post after post, to find out it's…sold.

:iagree::lol:

What are DIVE DVDs/CDs? :lurk5:

That is so WONDERFUL! Congratulations to you both!!!