Melinda in VT
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Posts posted by Melinda in VT
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A Gentleman in Moscow?
I Capture the Castle?
ETA possibly Among Others by Jo Walton if urban fantasy can stretch to include a small town in Wales.
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I haven't made it to Arenal yet, but if you are looking for good food, I highly recommend the Carribean side. We spent time in Puerto Viejo, and there were several wildlife sanctuaries in the area, as well as scuba diving, etc.
North of San Jose, La Paz waterfall and bird sanctuary makes a nice stop. We did it as a day trip, but I think you could do it en route to Arenal.
One of the most magical travel experiences was at El Toucanette lodge, when we saw multiple quetzals up close. It's not convenient to either of those other locations, but I had to mention it.
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A good jigsaw puzzle? Ravensburger makes great ones.
A scented candle? My husband gave me a Paddywax soy candle in Mandarin and Lavender, and I love it. I save it for when I'm working on finances, as a reward for doing unpleasant things.
New music? With the free Spotify account, it's easy to try new things.
A great fruit salad? You can splurge on the fruit that's already cut up.
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Do they live together at college? Not just spend the night, but officially live together?
If yes, then I'd put them in the same room.
If not, I'd give her a separate sleeping place but tell them both that I did not care where they actually slept.
This has less to do with my preference for no sex before serious commitment than it does with a sense that as a hostess I want to allow young women the same level of control they are used to over whether they share a bed with someone on any given night.
And this in no way is meant to disparage the OP's son.
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I really think clothes and shoes are a basic necessity that parents should supply.
Once I was old enough to work, I bought my own clothes and shoes and paid for my activities. It seemed a natural progression from child to contributing member of the family.
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The type B way just seems like a lot more work in the end. A lot of scrambling around at the last minute. A lot of buying a few options for dinner and then figuring out which one to use. A lot of if, then statements. Why not just say, “Event at noon. Dinner of lasagna at 4.†Done. Not, “Event at noon...or not at all...or DH’s ticket is given to someone else...or dinner is Chinese...or lasagna...or nuggets.†Argh!
Making a simple plan is much less stressful (to me) than having to come up with 6 random options on the fly. Because that’s what’s been suggested on the thread—to be “flexible†and be ready to do any of a number of options at the last minute. With kids. Nuggets, a full meal, going out to eat, eating take out at home, going to the event with DH, going to the event without DH, cancelling the event, giving DH’s ticket to someone else. Eight options. Seems like a lot more physical work and more mental work than just finding out when Brother will arrive and making one plan around that.
I agree that coming up with a plan seems simpler than planning for flexibility, as long as everyone is type A.
But the flexible suggestions are things that the OP can control. Coming up with a plan requires the participation (or at least buy in) of her DH and the BIL and SIL. Not something she can control.
One of my big lessons of the last few years has been that trying to control others or make them more like me does not lead to happiness.
Now, if the OP's DH were on here asking what he could do to keep his wife from stressing, I'd be telling him to give her at least a general time for the visit, asks her what else was on the calendar for the day, offer to take responsibility for feeding everyone, etc.
But he's not on here. She is.
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With regards to food, I do think it helps to have one or two meals in your rotation that can flex for both kids and company.
For my picky eater, that means he has tacos with just meat and cheese, and we have taco salads. Or he has a bean and cheese chimichanga and we have chicken chimichangas. Or we make bacon macaroni and cheese, which he will eat, but feels grownup enough for guests if paired with salad, etc.
The details will be different for your specific tastes, but you get the idea.
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We originally talked about his brother coming over on a different day, when the baby and I had other plans, but my spouse decided against it, because he wants his brother to meet the baby. I'm not ready to leave the baby, so I feel a lot of pressure to make sure the baby and I are around whenever his brother shows up.
I have found one of the key things for me is to learn not to feel pressured--because usually I am the only one putting the pressure on me.
You might want to mention to your husband when you and the baby will be at the other event. And then let go of the pressure. If it's important to him, he'll make it work.
Likewise with the house. Your husband can tidy too, right?
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Well, I tend to be more Type A, but to answer your specific questions, I'd plan to cook for two extra people, in case it works out that way, but also be prepared to go out to dinner if that's the way the day unfolds.
I'd not get tickets for the mid-day event, but I'd be prepared for your husband's ticket to go unused if he decides to stay home to wait for his brother. You and the kids should plan on going (and if your BIL and SIL are there when you need to leave, maybe SIL can use your husband's ticket and the two brothers can hang out while the rest of you are gone.
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Oh good grief. I never said only my way of cleaning is correct. Surely everyone would think it thoughtless/lazy/ (insert whatever word makes you feel warm and cozy....) to leave a soaking-in- a puddle mop (whether intended for wet or dry) after cleaning up a spill.
I somehow bring out the people here who find it their life's mission to chastise my every post.
Have you ever stopped to consider why your posts elicit those type of responses?
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I've been the parent receiving the bombshell, and I've also been the (adult) child dropping the bomb.
In both cases, time really does help. People's emotions get less raw, you face the embarrassment of spreading the news, and you figure out how to live in the new normal. It will not always feel as awful as it does right now.
In the meantime, hugs.
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Thanks for posting. We're going to Denmark this summer, and this gives me an interesting tidbit to share with the kids.
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Yes, we have a cell micro-tower, and yes, it requires our internet service to run. We don't use the micro-tower for data; we use it to get and send phone calls and text messages.
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I know I probably sound like a downer, but I think your first day is way too aggressive. I would bet money you will both fight to stay awake on the boat.
Do either the War Rooms/Westminster OR the Greenwich Observatory.
Actually, I'd probably cut day 2 in half also--breakfast, British Museum, lunch, Tower of London, Tower Bridge.
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How many words will the book be when it is finished? How many words do you have now? How many words do you usually write in a day or an hour?
My husband, who is both a writer and a literary agent, recommends telling your agent and your editor that you are going to miss your deadline.
Missing deadlines happens. It's worse if it's a surprise.
I wouldn't be too hard on your husband unless he had a clear picture of the state of your book and how long it would take you to finish. If I remember correctly, he doesn't have much experience with you having a writing deadline, so he's still learning what kind of support you need.
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If you head up to Arenal, I recommend La Paz waterfall and gardens as a stop. (We did it as a day trip from our hotel near the airport on our last day, but it's on the way to Arenal.)
I don't remember much about the waterfall, but the aviary and reptile exhibit were great.
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To any U.S. Citizens planning to visit Costa Rica, or, any other country, PLEASE REGISTER with the ACS (American Citizen Services unit) in the U.S. Embassy. You can probably do that on their web site.
I wonder how many people do this. We never have.
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I can't vote on this device, but I call my in-laws and my parents Mom and Dad, and so does DH.
I was taught to ask people what they wanted to be called, so I asked my in-laws, and they preferred Mom and Dad.
Some of it might be age; I married at 22.
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Many hugs and prayers for K, you, and all your family.
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My husband writes under a pen name. He used his same first name (very common) and a last name from back in his family history.
At first, he worried that the name wouldn't feel like him, but that feeling faded very quickly once he started using it.
I do recommend a last name that can't be traced to an address where you live, because people are crazy.
Also, pick a name that isn't a pain to write.
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There's been a general tendency in to streamline our orthography to have fewer hyphens, but a great many verbs are hyphenated (or have been) by competent writers and editors. Some style guides even recommend it in some verbs, as in "to ice-skate". (That example is from the OED site, and it's my vague understanding that Brits hyphenate more than Americans do.)
I stand corrected for compound verbs. That's what I get for posting quickly.
However, we don't hyphenate phrasal verbs, like the one in the post I was responding to.
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I can see
"that is something with which I will not put-up." (as up really is connected to that put. so it really isn't dangling. it's attached to the put.)
but
'that is something I will not put up with" would make me close my eyes, grit my teeth, and sigh.
We don't hyphenate verbs in English. Any competent editor would remove that hyphen.
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It doesn't bother me.
Our style guide at work says to end sentences with prepositions if that's what sounds natural, so I've actually rewritten other people's sentences to put the preposition at the end.
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Ok so I do think the England portion of the trip is pretty rushed. My sister who lives there will be driving us around for the driving bits so she's accustomed to driving times etc. I think Ireland will be ok, the tours of Dingle and Ring of Kerry return to Killarney by 5 p.m. leaving (I hope) a bit of time in the evenings for relaxing or exploring the city or whatever. Also since someone else will be driving for much of our traveling I'm hoping to spend that time snoozing, gazing out the window, or journaling what we have done. All of which sound pretty relaxing to me, as compared to my daily grind currently with my kids. I hope that doesn't sound awful, I love my kids buuuut it's hard.
Is London skippable? Because honestly York and Chatsworth sound so much more up my alley. London sounds scary, I'm not going to lie.
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
London is great and not scary at all. And there is a ton to do there.
However, London is not the highlight of England, and I wouldn't hesitate to skip it for many trips.
For your trip, though, I'd skip Bath and fly to Dublin from London. I'm saying this based on where Lakenheath is and the belief that you'll enjoy your trip more if you work with a smaller geographic area.
Books that are pleasant, but not "fluffy?"
in The Chat Board
Posted
Among Others didn't feel dark (despite the situation), but I might have read it when I was in a dark-proof mood.