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Lawana

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Everything posted by Lawana

  1. There is no stopping a family culture of secrecy, at least for some. I was given an opportunity to disclose sexual abuse, by a caring, safe adult, but could not, at 14, overcome the family "no talk" rules to do so. When psychological abuse happens early and often.... never mind, too painful
  2. Two of my remnants are the inability to spend on entertainment and decorating. I waste a bunch of money on expensive and convenient food. Used to take the kids out to eat a lot. But go to a movie?!? Buy a ticket for a show? Buy something that its only value is it's nice to look at? Forget it. Also, my kids always had nice things to wear while I wore a few very cheap things.
  3. Without a doubt, LDS self-identify as Christian --the name Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reveals a clue. They do not consider themselves to have a shared heritage with the historical church, believing true authority died with Peter, then was restored to Joseph Smith. And to answer the pp's question, they consider themselves to be monotheistic, despite believing in three separate beings of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. The oneness comes in *one in purpose*, rather than one in being. Viewed from outside, the classification of Mormonism comes down to defining terms, as it always does. If your definition of Christian includes belief in God according to historical understanding of His nature, then an argument can be made that Mormons are not Christian. But they believe in Jesus Christ and His saving work (accomplished in the garden of Gethsemane, not on the cross, creating yet another major distinction from historical Christian belief), so what does one do with that? Lawana, the exmo (exmormon)
  4. That sounds ideal lol. In my fantasy world, everyone would like the things I like, and prioritize the things I prioritize. Reality gets in the way lol
  5. Quill, I have been following along with interest and am wondering what your ideal solution would look like?
  6. That really stinks! As a fellow sensitive person, I can imagine how devastated I would feel. I don't think the chances of finding out what really happened are very good, because it seems like she is avoiding conflict, and as such, won't be upfront with you. I do think it is worth making one attempt to communicate because while I would desperately want to know the whole story, there are two things that could actually impact your future job prospects. 1. Would she be able to give you a good reference, and 2. Is there anything she might suggest that could improve your functioning at another job. Those two things are completely reasonable to ask, and if communicated unemotionally, would be no threat to anyone. If she cannot provide satisfactory answers, you can be sure the problem lies with her, not you. I wish you the best and am sending copious amounts of energy and confidence your way!
  7. My mother has a Life Protect 247 that she got after she dislocated her hip and had to inch herself along the floor on her back to get to the phone. She has only used it once when she locked herself out of her house, but she and I feel it is worthwhile for the peace of mind. Due to this discussion, she is going to contact the company and change her contact numbers a bit and also inquire whether the gps can be used to locate her if she goes missing. So thanks for this thread!
  8. I am not an A Type person, but am so not laid back about schedules and what is expected of me. Maybe something like send a group text to dh, BIL, SIL, outlining your schedule for the day and directly invite them to dinner? In other words, take charge of your own schedule.
  9. This. Dd moved out of state. In order to insure her vehicle, we had to transfer title to her name, register it in her state, and create a separate insurance policy for that vehicle.
  10. After 10 hours of sewing, I have to call it quits. My neck hates me lol. Got the bodice done of the dress, so I am pretty sure I can add the skirt and put in the zipper tomorrow! And that doll's dress? The instructions sucked! You just never know with independent pattern makers.
  11. Good morning! I have a Herculean task for today, so I will join in. Finish sewing hooded towel Towel ✅ Sew doll dress ✅ Sew dress for 5 yo granddaughter Spatchcock and dry brine turkey Turkey ✅ Oops! Forgot to add 2 puff pastry sausage stuffing rolls for ds's girlfriend's family ✅ See what I mean?
  12. Lawana

    Dss16

    The idea that our best might not be good enough can extend to our biological children as well. BTDT. Life is messy. If there were always clear answers, we wouldn't be struggling as much. As difficult as it may be, please know that we can accept and encourage you as you are, and also see things from a different perspective.
  13. Lawana

    Dss16

    I think you are doing the best you can. You also need to know that in the case of your stepson, your best is not helping him with the problem he has. As long as you look at food choices as solely a matter of character (anyone with a weight issue does not have sufficient will power), you will not be in a position to help an obese person. Your repugnance of obese persons is very clear. Even though you say you love your stepson, the message about your value of a person's weight is abundantly clear. It is possible that you are doing what is to you a Herculean effort, but is to your stepson a wholly inadequate attack of a life-altering issue. I have never met you. I have no reason to think you are anything other then a well intentioned loving person. What I have picked up on by reading your posts is that you have a hot spot about weight issues. Meaning overweight is an indication that there is something amiss in one's character. If a person were of good character, they would choose food, in an appropriate quantity, that would nourish their body and spirit, and their weight would appropriately reflect that. Therefor, if weight becomes out-of-bounds, a person is not honoring an inborn quality of proportionality. Somehow, they are choosing, for whatever reason, to ignore the sensible, rational perspective and adopting an attitude of "I don't give a damn what anyone thinks or feels, I will eat whatever I want." Maybe that is consistent with the person in question's personality. But maybe it is not. If not, then I might consider whether there might be more to the equation. The point I am trying to make is that because you, or any of your immediate family, has never struggled with this particular issue, does not make it any less an issue for those who do so struggle. Gaining 15 pounds at menopause does not equate to struggling with obesity. Please, please, understand that your lived life experience of weight=reasonable, doable choices does not mean it is also the lived experience of those that do struggle. If what you really desire is the benefit of your stepson's health, then you are going to need to broaden your perspective of what has worked for you, and take in the experience of those that have struggled. Physiology really does change. Your experience, even gaining 15 pounds at menopause, does not equate to an obese person. It just doesn't.
  14. The (used to be) best fitting pants I ever owned was a pair of dress pants that I did a maternity alteration on--ripped out the side seams, cut off the top part of the front and sewed on a stretch panel with elastic at the waist. I had to wear it with a longer top to cover the panel, but the fit was great. (They are too big now because I lost 25 pounds. Yay me!)
  15. Ya think? Lol. After my grandmother passed (at age 99), her daughters were going through her basement, which included a room of food storage shelves. On a shelf was a can, or what had previously been a can, but at the time presented with a bottom rim, a top rim, and a strip of welded metal separating the two. May or may not have dated from the time tomatoes were canned in unlined cans. 😂
  16. I have a different fitting issue- straight, narrow hips, flat saggy butt and a BIG waist, but differ enough from the norm to make jeans fitting likewise impossible. I also relate to the practical, not fashionable shoe issue. So I can't offer you any suggestions, but I will commiserate with the whole jeans non-fitting experience! Where is the jeans-fitting fairy when you need her!
  17. Chocolate no bake oatmeal (gluten free) cookies. Fudge. Jelly candy ETA Walnut stuffed dates rolled in sugar
  18. If you might have put it in a drawer, look behind the drawers. Sometimes things get swept out into the abyss that is behind drawers.
  19. There may be hypothyroid going on even if your numbers are in range. Did I miss it if you answered what your typical temperature is?
  20. What is your typical temperature? I'm thinking with a resting heart rate that dips below 60 and if you have a lower than 97.8 temp, I would investigate thyroid further. Despite having an in-range TSH, you may be hypothyroid. It would not explain everything, but might be a place to start.
  21. http://finestsreweavers.com/ Never used them, but this is what a search brought up.
  22. Hot and sour soup from the Chinese place. Mostly veggies, some tofu.
  23. I know I am an empty nester now, but I sure can JAWY. Ice storm and lose power for three days and home by myself with a baby and toddler and no heat? While dh is in sunny Southern California? Check Dh out of town and dd floods the bathroom and garage? Check Dd diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and is hospitalized while I learn how to check blood sugar, count carbs, give insulin shots? Where else would dh be? Dh's frail mother, who lives with us, falls and breaks her pelvis while having a heart attack? You think dh would be in town??? Hahahahaha I think you get the picture. So yes, I will be more than happy to sympathize with you. We lived to tell the story, and you will too. Hang in there. Just wait until your dc are young adults. Let the good times roll. 😳
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