So many nice, thoughtful responses! 2 of my 3 sons are considered "gifted" - the third one is too young to test in school district. I have lived in different states and learned that there are different standards and that not even the teachers or Principals tend to be informed on programs offered within their districts or state or even the standards needed to qualify. I would recommend calling the district office and speaking with the one person overseeing "accerlated", "enrichment" "gifted" or "challenge" - whatever the "word" is for the program. Often it is a matter of budget on whether the program is even available. The different words can also mean very different things. I want to tell you that you might have to be both aggressive and patient. Aggressive in pursuing what programs are available to your needs BUT patient (enough), meaning that you might have to wait to get your child into the program that best suits him/her. Sorry for the long reply, but I am not sure that you've really exhausted your search at the school level. And I know that homeschooling is not for everyone. The state I live in now, the "enrichment" program is offered starting 2nd grade, one half day per week and the "self contained GT program" is offered from 3rd grade-5th grade with one class for each grade - imagine the competition to get it!!! There are different standards to meet to qualify for one over the other. Then for 6-8th grade the core classes are available to both those that quality for "enrichment and/or self contained GT" and is limited to a number of spots with priority given to those students who made it into the self contained program - they are guaranteed a spot at 6th grade if they choose. The difference between the word "enrichment" and "self contained" is that the enrichment is truly enrichment whereas the self contained is really an accerlated program(So, the student is still with their age appropriate peers, just doing a grade ahead or whatever). We also have a school that is public although sponsored by a couple of math, science related companies that you have to test to get placement into. You can be any age, so long as you place. These are H.S. level courses and count on your H.S. transcripts. So you have to be aware of that. Very rigorous coursework and standards. If late, you get half off -- no giving them until the end of the quarter to turn in for full credit. I have also seen/known individuals wherein the school has adminstered an IQ test and then placed them into the next grade. Not too much worry at earlier grades.....Just college perhaps when your student graduates at 20 and enters the workforce where the other adults discount them - personal experience here.... I get where you are coming from as I have one of these types who feels like yours and he didn't truly flourish until he started taking high school classes at 6th grade (11 y/o) and I cart him between 2 schools (gt and that math/science one). He's been in GT for awhile - but I have had to be both aggressive and patient and be available for carpools. In the meantime, for you I'd suggest looking into chess clubs either at school or throught community, book clubs run through libraries (start one yourself there) and what others have suggested. Also, I had a psychologist advise me to ask the teacher to allow my son to Help/tutor other students in class when he was done with his work. This allowed a social aspect for my child with his peers and fostered a sense of purpose and giving back for my son in the classroom setting. Usually, the smart kids don't "get" the other kids and vice versa, this might give another opportunity to do so. Good luck to you while you sort through all of this. It will be worth it, but may take a little time :001_smile:

I have ages 7, 10(almost 11), 12 - all boys - one a seriously engineering mind. Some of these do not have an overt engineering sense, but my engineering minds seem to LOVE it all. All of these suggestions below go over with all ages of my kids (even though some were purchased for the younger person). I will be taking a look at everyone's input- thanks. LEGO MINDSTORMS - for the eldest engineer - spendy and requires computer and programming. But he LOVES it! ANY LEGOS - for all ages ROLLA BALL - hard to find - it's a marble track that you build however you want. you might thinks it's babyish, but it's a hit for ALL at my house - they fight over it when it comes out. Simple ROCKETS -- Ya know the kind you find at Hobby Lobby...Put a little bit together then go for lift off!!! with a 40% off coupon totally reasonable. Anything Magnetic -- even magnetic rocks. those Crystal Growing Sets - Again, don't ask me why -- BUT A HUGE HIT in my house. It has to do with the fact that you are assisting in the crystalline stucture of it all. SEA Monkeys, anything you have to make alive (those prehistorice water thingys)- YES! and they are still alive since last Christmas, they won't die!!! Again, they are devising the environment; putting it all together.... Most gardening/growing/butterflies - anything that you have to make grow or bring to life or watch transform they are nuts about. I could buy them one of those venus fly traps and they'd be head over heels. Creepy Crawlers - the BOMB!!! you create, bake, and play with. You might not think educational, but it is. You start off with liquid, add heat and it makes a solid? what?! then the bugs are scientific and interesting and then they hide on your pillow to scare you - so it's fun and childish too. Shrinky dinks - bake and they get small...why? I bet they will find out. Bring out the artist in the non artist. Chess set -- or my friend said there is this mobile (in the car type) chess puzzle set. Yes, they love chess. Lego Creationary Game -- fun for the family.

I am familiar with several of the tests mentioned. Cost obviously is a factor... First - I'd approach the school psych and ask that she be tested for any challenge or gifted/talented program. This will be free of charge to you; and sometimes they will ask thata recommendation be generated from a teacher (so you might have to approach that way). This testing usually starts with some "lower" level test - which I forget the specific names -- but the identify a threshhold of giftedness and IF they meet this threshhold then they move onto administering the WISC IV IQ test which has both written and verbal portions. this is what my experience has been in the schools where I live. At highschool, though, where I live, there is no longer a "GT program" so to speak, the option is to take honors or AP courses - which anyone can do so long as they take prerequisite courses. Second - Independent test at a psychologists office. usually not covered by insurance as it is educational testing - but I bet you could ask to get pre-certified to see IF they would cover??? But would probably cost $600 dollars to cover initial intake mtg (1 hr), testing/report (approx 5 hrs), recap mtg (1hr). Let's put it this way, I recently had some independent testing done for my son (one of which also included an IQ test and it cost me approx $1,500 give or take). Third - Are there any accelerated or specialty (math & science) public schools in your district? or area? sometime these types of schools are test based to get into. You could schedule a test date (after filling out forms and providing materials requested) with them for free. The one my son tested for administered what I believe to be the ACT test, although, I didn't actually see it WAS the ACT test. I asked for sample questions so he could get an idea and they forwarded me a link to the ACT website -- so I put the 2 together. Anyway, he tested into the school and was placed in the chohort program where his scores put him. This was all free. He attends the school for half the day - goes on his high school transcipts; it's public. Talent Search - we recently had those handed out in our GT classes and you pay approx $100 to have your kid take an ACT or SAT test to just know where they stand. In my humble opinion, this has no reflection on IQ at all. But, I suppose you could find out where she needs improvement for future testing when it really counts for college. I passed on these tests for my children - one is in 5th grade doing accellerated work - one is in 7th grade - doing h.s. courses. I know where they would approximately place acadmecially speaking. Then, there's the mensa, challenge! sounds like fun. For her age group, if you were seriously considering paying for the testing, I think it would be fun for her to test in this manner. I like the other responder's input. This is a nice thing to do for your daughter.

Please, please do not put the blame onto yourself. Human beings are miracles and each one of us is unique and God put us all here to fulfill a specific need in the world. the human being is so resilient! My 3rd child was born practically deaf (yes even though they do that weird ear thingy in the hospital that shows the brain is connected to the ear - yes, what?). I thought I finally got a quiet child! Thank you God! This being the 3rd boy, I got a break! He was happy, quiet, not fussy, perfect! (at least that what I thought at the time). My other 2 are highly intelligent, inquisitive, and quirky (and yes I just recently found out my eldest has a few issues). My normal, is not what is normal, so I didn't know what normal really was/is. Anyway, at 1 year old when he was still not really talking, and taking a friends advice, I had him evaluated. However, following doctor's advice I waited until after cold/flu season AND after allergy season as directed. In the end I had to press to have him evaluated because now a days, the range of normal is so broad. This is when I learned that he was extremely hard of hearing. So, by age 2, here he was receiving "therapy" in the home under the infant and toddler program while I went through testing and such. He ended up having surgery and tubes and years of speech therapy and he is none the worse for wear, really! Initially I was wracked with the guilt of not identifying this problem earlier. Looking back, it's so obvious for my family....he should have been way more vocal. Even writing this, I feel as if I look like the lamest mother ever! But life is fast, and if there is no overt health issue it's hard to recognize especially in infants and toddlers. Even if we address issues based on our mommy intuition, I have also found that Doctors (or other professionals) tend to discount our concerns for the same reasons - no overt health issue. However, the progress my son's made....No one would ever imagine he had a near silent world for the first years of life! Can you imagine! We all do the best we can to deal with everything on our plate. Good for you, for moving forward with your suspicions and then following through on any recommendations you will discover. Being hard on yourself will not help you or help your child.

He has exhibited this "low frustration level" since toddlerhood, from working hard at digging his hole in the sandbox at preschool - then to have another kid put a little scoop of sand into that hole and losing his mind ---- to the classroom setting; not understanding soemthing when explain right off the bat; to chessclub (ages 10-11, if his opponent took a piece he would shut down and cry). I had to stop chessclub in middle school last year, because I didn't want to have an issue with my child crying in yet another situation. I don't put him in team sports, because he "quits" if he isn't the best, etc....etc...He just went on his first hunting trip and my husband said he broke down because he didn't hit his first deer on his first shot. We are talking at least 100 yards away or so. Dealing with this behavior can be very frustrating for a parent, especially when it persists for YEARS!!! Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been shown to be most helpful -- which is what I am finally doing -- now that I know how much it really has been affecting my son. Just go with your mommy instinct.

Thank you Michelle and Elizabeth....I want to acknowledge your responses. I need to take a chunk of quite time to really read through them and research some of the items you mentioned. (it might be difficult this week; since all kids are off school!). I hope that if I ask questions, you'll be there. I understand though it's a busy week! Will check back in soon.

My son has been in gifted/accelerated programs since early on. The meltdowns, perfectionism trait, not wanting to participate in something if he thinks he will not automatically "get it" all right the first time - all of it. He is 12 now and these characteristics still persist and I recently had him evaluated because of this and other concerns. But, focussing on this one area you mention, I learned from test results and discussion with observing psychologist that often, very, very smart children often experience a lot of anxiety. I learned that my son suffers from anxiety a lot! I didn't really realize it was on that level. I thought he just had a low level of frustration, was a perfectionist, but these personality traits were really affecting him, even at a social level as for fitting in or joining in with others if he wasn't going to be perfect. The psychologist explained to me that my child didn't have a low frustration level, he was constantly riding right under his breaking point - and I just didn't ever see it this way until she even repeated it 2 or 3 times to me. Sometimes these kids are so stinkin' smart, but not emotionally developed enough to deal with their self concept and worries. I am seeking counseling for him so that he can learn to use his brain to identify his feelings and really sort out what they mean (they don't mean he's stupid if he get's a few wrong). I am not at all trying to say your child has anxiety problems, you know your child best. I just wanted to share my experience. In the past I tried to approach different doctors and psychs. about this and other areas of concern, but I was told many times "don't worry, he's just smart...." Well, yes he is, but his quality of life was suffering a little bit too. I am glad that I stuck with it through the years and finally have some answers to help my 12 y/o. Best wishes to you and your child.

As Jean M mentioned earlier on, I immediately thought of National History Day. Our GT program in Middle school requires the 6th and 7th graders to participate as part of the curriculum. My son is not a writer and is more interested in math and science. Each year the NDH.org chooses a theme. Your child has a chance to express themselves in many different ways. My son, last year created his own website. Other kids do skits, documenteries, board presentations, and verbal presentations. It was a trying experience at first, but as my son moved through the process and judging it ended up being a positive experience. I think we all just didn't know the process. At each judging phase, if you place, you have an opportunity to take the feedback from judges to change/improve your work to submit for the next round. If you win 1st or 2nd place in the state for your child is eligible to goto Washington DC to compete for national recognition in their category. For us it ended up igniting an interest in my son as he won 2nd place in the State in his category, although we chose not to go to D.C. He enjoyed the interviews and being recognized for talent in an area that he underestimated himself in and a subject he thought he was "uninterested" in (in that traditional way). (if you make it to nationals it'll run about $2000-$3000 cost for 2); but a rare experience. This year, nhd mailed out the subject and my son has already begun to brainstorm what topic he might like to write about. Good luck!

Had to do this with my 12y/o son last month and I too was unsure how to bring it all up, especially because he could kind of go into a mood when he hears something he doesn't want to hear/do. I didn't want him to think I was doing it because something was "wrong" with him. However, he's been in GT programs and therefore been in test situations before, but not for this length of time or in this type of setting. The psychologist also asked me if I'd talked to him about it -- "a little bit".. I told my son that I was taking him to someone who was going to give him tests similar to those he's taken in past at school along with some other tasks, ask questions because we (his parents) wanted to make sure he had all the necessary support needed for school & such. It didn't go over really well. He was timid going in there. I told him I'd be back in a few hours for lunch. I took him to a special lunch that day; he was fine and happy when I picked him up though and after the second half of the testing was finished I took him out for ice cream. That part was really good! NOW, my other friend recently took her boy in for a psych eval and the Doctor there responded to her son's question (he's 10) of "why am I here?" with a better explanation (in my opinion). The Dr. said to him "We are going to map your brain". I never thought of it that way - just seeing how his brain works/learns. Good luck to you! I think it's harder on us parents....It was harder for me to discuss the test results with my son - sorry to say. I had tried at least 3 times and he just wasn't open to hearing anything and finally I had a family dr. kind of explain some of the "findings" and my son cried....my son's situation involves taking some medication and explaining why. This is all really hard, even just the littlest thing, you just want to do what's best for your child.

Stumbled upon this board, thankfully! I would like feedback from people who have used either ideachain or Lindamood-bell OR any other related programs in the home. I live in Idaho and there is really not much of this type of support available. Background: My 12 y/o son was was recently diagnosed with ADD-PI, GAD, and LD-NOS. Also, let me say that he is highly intelligent; he is in a self contained GT program for English and Social Studies and actually attends another school for his math and science which are all high school level courses. He gets A's in science and social studies, B in math, and usually DorF in English -- which prompted my recent testing as I've always suspected ADD. However, he FINALLY verbalized to me that in English - the books they read in there "don't explain anything to [him] and there are no pictures". As a result of the testing, I learned that his comprehension is way below grade level (3rd grade apparantly - not sure I totally agree there; I'd say 5-6th but poor inference to relationships in stories) and at grade level for writing and such. His working memory is very poor and he cannot answer simple questions about a story or chapters he's just read from any fiction book. Really odd. The recommendations I was given was to provide scaffolding for him on his writing assignments/essays and provide more practice opportunities. Well, I just don't quite know where to go from here..... I can also say that he won't look forward to doing any additional "work" especially when it comes to the subject of reading. I am a smart lady and feel that I would be able to take a that V/V manual and apply the "instruction" with the workbooks - if someone else has done this please let me know how successful you were and describe your approach and where you think you'd start with my child based on info above; I saw samples of workbooks online at publisher site; but there are no material examples to view of the ideachain material (which is a red flag to me). But, I'd love to hear anyone's experience with Ideachain for a child that may have similarities to mine? Grade level?? Was the material adequate. I can say that for him, a straight forward, simplified approach with short "bursts" would work best; he will not be able to sit for hours on end. Thanks -- I don't want to write too much! I'll start here....:)