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MedicMom

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Everything posted by MedicMom

  1. My sister gets offended if anyone other than her or my mom corrects her kids. It's not worth the problems, so I try to distract the kids into an activity instead. I totally agree that my sister needs the help more than I do. I can afford childcare a day a week, I just live in a very rural area and haven't found anyone who will babysit on a Saturday, especially since I work 11am to 11pm. I am not trykng to be a jerk and I know my sister is in a bad situation. We are close enough that I am debating carefully talkking to her, but she is sensitive about her kids. I just don't want to make a bad situation worse, kwim? My husband and I are trying hard to work opposite days, but he doesn't have seniority at his new job to make schedule requests, and I lost my seniority when I went part time after having my son. We are just praying a different shift will open up for one of us, or that my OB places me on maternity leave sooner. Thank you all for the support and advice. I'm a new mom just trying to do the right things by everyone, but its sometimes hard to know what the right things are.
  2. Sorry...I forgot to mention that I will be going out on maternity leave in 8-10 weeks. I can't lose my sick/vacation time plus my Aflac, as that's what we're counting on(plus disability) while I'm off. I will go on maternity leave around 30 weeks, because I am a paramedic and my company doesn't offer light duty, so once I can no longer lift and am too big to crawl around the back of an ambulance, I will just go on maternity leave. So looking for another job isn't possible. And I have requested another schedule multiple times, but it's just not flexible. Fortunately I don't plan to return to this company after this baby is born so that will alleviate some of it but I also can't keep my son away from his grandparents/cousins, either. I hope that eventually it will only be when I am directly supervising, but I have eight more weeks of this right now.
  3. I'm new here, but I could really use some advice. I have a 19-month-old little boy. I work two days a week in order to pay off my student loans; we can live comfortably on my DH's salary, but not once we factor the loans I took out for six years while trying to figure out what to do with my life. So I am kind of stuck working two days a week. My schedule is not flexible, and neither is DH's. My MIL watches the baby one day and my mother the other day. They both adore my little boy and are great with him, and for the most part, we're happy with the child care arrangements. The issue is that my mother is also watching my sister's children. My neice is 3 and my nephew 18 months. My sister and I work at the same job and are consistantly scheduled to work the same shifts, though we've requested not to due to child care issues. Like I said, scheduling is not very flexible. My sister is a single mom just coming out of a very abusive marriage. she has absolutely no child care other than my mom and cannot afford day care. She has applied for day care subsidies but they are very limited. I understand she has no choice other than my mom, and that she absolutely has to work. My problem is that her kids, especially her three-year-old, are terribly behaved. I understand that they are in a chaotic situation, have witnessed their mother being abused, and now that the court has given their father some visitation, are being bounced between three households(their mom's, their dad's, and my mom's) on a regular basis with no stability or consistancy. Add into this that my sister often works 40 hours straight, they go days without seeing their mom as well as their dad. I understand that this sort of chaos can create bad behavior, but it has really started to affect my son. For instance, tonight, while we were all at my mom's for a birthday party, my niece picked up my son and literally tossed him out of a kid's size chair so she could sit in it. I had to pull her off of him at one point when she was trying to hug or wrestle him(not sure either) before he bit her, and she was repeatedly running around the house with her 18-month-old brother and running into my son. There were multiple instances of these kind of things. My mom would correct my niece, but my sister just sat there and said nothing. Then when it was time to go, my niece started hitting and scratching my sister, pulling hair, the whole works. My son was supposed to spend the night with my mom as a special treat(he LOVES spending the night with Grandma and rarely gets too), and when my niece threw the temper tantrum, my sister looked at my mom and asked if my niece could spend the night...my mom said she wasn't behaving, but my sister insisted, and my mom gave in. At this point I picked up my son and said I was going to take him home. I didn't mean to cause an issue, and I totally trust my mom, but I wasn't going to leave him there with my niece. And I had talked all day about going night-night at Grandma's, so now my son was confused and he is far too little to understand at all. He cried all the way home. I don't know...how would you all handle this? I don't have a great deal of childcare options right now, so he has to be with my niece and nephew at my mom's once a week. And it broke my heart tonight after promising he could stay at Grandma's all day long, and my son is very verbal and cried all the way home that he was going to go night night there. Did I overreact to the situation? Should I just not say anything, or try to talk to my sister? My mom already knows how I feel, but I really feel tonight that she just caved in to my niece when she knew I would not allow my son to spend the night there(we've talked multiple times about my concerns). Ugh...I'm sorry it's so long. I just value the wisdom I've read on these boards and I need some right now.
  4. I am 19 weeks along and we will find out. I was told we wouldn't be able to have any more kids after DS, and we live in a big old house with absolutely no storage(no attic, dirt basement, one closet in the entire house), so I got rid of all my baby clothes. I prefer to buy baby clothes lots off of Ebay or the kid's consingment shops here in my area, and used gender neutral baby clothes are extremely hard to find. Plus, the grandmas love shopping, and I really don't see that many gender neutral baby clothes out there. :001_smile: For me, I loved knowing that we were having a boy with DS. I found out at 15 weeks due to complications, and I loved talking and singing to him by name the rest of the pregnancy. It wasn't just a random baby when he was born, it was my Joshua. And it was as much as surprise at 15 weeks as it would have been at 40. I have my scan January 23, and we can't wait to find out. :001_smile:
  5. This has not been my experience. I am declaring bankruptcy over a $38,000 hospital bill from three years ago. I was working full time making decent money, so didn't qualify for medical aid from the state or the hospital or a reduced payment schedule, but I had not been at my job long enough to qualify for benefits. I have paid $50 a month on this bill ever since, but they sent it to collections and then when I couldn't pay them in full, I was sued for the unpaid amount. I can prove and they did not deny that I was paying them, but they did not consider it enough. My attorney said that the hospital isn't required to abide by the payment plan. Since this happened, I have heard from several other people that they had bills sent to collections or a judgement lodged against them by the court for medical bills they had been paying on. Another hospital gave me six months to pay several thousand and then they would send whatever was unpaid to collections. It is upsetting, as I have NO consumer debt, but I have fifty grand total in medical bills, and bankruptcy is my best option. Fortunately the vehicles and the house are in my husband's name only and my state does not consider me a joint owner.
  6. You could try your inhaler and see if it opens up your lungs at all when you feel like that. I wouldnt keep taking it though if once or twice doesn't help. A humidifier might help more.
  7. I grew up with seven sisters; I was thirteen before I wasn't sharing a room with at least two. For a long time my parents fit six kids in a three bedroom home. It wasn't a big deal; I have fond memories of after-hours giggling with my sisters. If your kids are still young, I wouldn't worry too much about the boy-girl mixing. Once they are older, I would split them up, but young kids aren't a big deal. Thinking about the privacy, I don't remember not having it. We could dress in the bathroom if we wanted, and I actually put curtains up around the bottom bunk(my bed) so I could read later into the night and not bother my sleeping sisters. We'd play in the bedroom or outside or in the living room, and there was plenty of space still for us to spread out and have some time alone if we needed. Also as a firefighter, I just want to mention--be careful with space heaters. Most are very safe these days, but you still want to make sure it has enough space, clothes don't get thrown on it or near it, and that it isn't placed near anything combustible.
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