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ErinE last won the day on November 22 2017

ErinE had the most liked content!


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  1. I've posted an update, but I wanted to include a new post. Life is so precious, y'all. Forgive the awkward southern American influence in my English grammar, but I was very blessed to attend a memorial service for the "best man" of men. I've been to the service of a "good man," a service for a "did the best I could" man, and "man, well life is what is is" man. We do the best we can and whatever comes after is left to the judgement of the ever-after. So who am I to judge? Be good, be kind, and be loved. I firmly believe that's all we can ask...
  2. UPDATE: I sent a card, noting the date and mentioning a memory (the last time I saw the deceased). I saw the deceased's parents recently and they thanked me for the note (gripping both my hands and hugging me close, if that indicates depth of feeling). I took everyone's advice and shaped it to my own experience. Thank you to all who gave me their wisdom. For future googlers (or internet searchers) please, if it's the first year's death of someone close to you, send a note to the parents on the deceased's birthday. They will be grateful that someone, somewhere, remembered that their loved one was here with us. Life is too short not to mark how blessed we are by those too-swiftly gone. _________ Someone I've known for decades recently passed away. I'd like to send a note to the parents, acknowledging that the deceased person's birthday is approaching. Problem is: I don't know what to say. Is this a good idea? And does anyone have advice? I've read some wonderful notes on this forum so I'm asking for help here. Thanks!
  3. ErinE

    Ugh help

    Many years ago, someone I love got engaged to a truly horrible person who displayed behavior around me that made me fear for the health and safety of my loved one. I asked the loved one’s mother how she could accept the horrible person in her child’s life. Editing to remove gender, she said, “This is my child. If I close my door, who else can my child turn to?” When my loved one broke off the relationship, we were there to offer love and protection, both of which were needed when the horrible person’s depravity was exposed. You’re keeping the door open. That is so important and will be remembered.
  4. @Lady Florida. Kathy, prayers and thoughts for Emma, her parents, and you today.
  5. Are you reading Divine Comedy? If you haven't read Dante before, I highly recommend the Hollander translations. I've read three versions of the Comedy: Pinsky's Inferno, a forgotten translation decades ago, and Hollander. The Hollander version has footnotes galore, it's highly readable, and they translated all three books so the voice feels consistent. I'm on my second read of the Hollander books, with a more thoughtful consideration of the elements I missed the first time around. I also recommend the Great Courses Dante's Divine Comedy. The professors do an excellent job of exploring the meaning and importance of the work, as well as pointing out the elements of humor. Sorry to gush so much about Dante. I fell in love with Divine Comedy after spending my last college semester in Italy. I have so many memories of following a professor through Florence, having him point out some important part of history, and then reciting a short stanza of Divine Comedy (always punctuated with, "Allora. Andiamo."). Enjoy!
  6. Prayers and good thoughts for you and yours. She (and you) will be in my thoughts Thursday.
  7. I knew going in that it was likely going to be X-files-ish. Dan Wells did the same with his "I am not a Serial Killer" series, which threw off some readers expecting a gritty serial killer series as opposed one involving the supernatural.
  8. When I was on a Jeffrey Eugenides kick several years ago, I enjoyed his novel Middlesex - about a male with a similar condition raised as a girl and choosing to live as a man in adulthood. Well done and thoughtful, but uncomfortable as Eugenides can sometimes be.
  9. Books finished last week: The Hating Game by Sally Thorne. Romance-Chick Lit. The personal assistants to co-CEOs, bound by mutually loathing, compete for an important promotion, a contest only one of them can win. @Kareni, when I finished this, I immediately thought of you. The characters acted more YA than adult, but it was a fun read. Fight or Flight by Samantha Young. Romance-Chick Lit. A interior designer keeps crossing paths with a handsome, infuriating Scotsman. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. Romantic Comedy. A Chinese-American visits her boyfriend's family and finds herself thrust into the decadent world of wealthy Singaporeans. The book is just as good as the movie, in different ways. I thought many of the storylines were much more nuanced in the book. Highly recommended. Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson. Fantasy - Second World. In a world filled with soul-consuming gods, a young princess suddenly finds herself married to the God King and must navigate the perils of his court. I think this might be my favorite Sanderson novel. His heroine was plucky and clever like always, yet her characterization wasn't quite as clunky as some of his more recent writing. There's still a bit too much exposition for my taste, but it wouldn't be a Sanderson novel without detailed explanations on why the magic works. Brandon actually had an essay in my version of Elantris that explains why he started writing novels: he was writing copious amounts about different magic systems and his writing friends and teachers told him he needed to actually build in a story if he ever wanted to be published. Highly recommended. The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort. Autobiography - Finance. A drug-addicted stockbroker makes and loses a fortune. Ugh. The movie was hilarious but Belfort exalts in his exploits far too much. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. Chick Lit. A data analyst runs the numbers and decides she needs help from an escort to improve the odds of succeeding in love. I loved this book and will pick up Hoang's next novel. I celebrate a book written about a main character who is on the autism spectrum who wants a romantic partner. Highly recommended. The Hollow City by Dan Wells. Horror. A paranoid schizophrenic believes They are out to get him and his delusions might not be fantasy. A well done main character - it was difficult to distinguish between delusion and reality. Current reads: Autonomous by Annalee Newtiz Romantic comedies expected from library The Epic of Gilgamesh - re-read but I'm pursuing an epic tales rabbit trail Gumbo Ya-Ya - Cajun and creole folktales
  10. Hello BAWers! Life got in the way last year and my reading slowed down, but I'm hoping for a better new year. I have no goals, I won't participate in Bingo, I just want to spend more time with my fellow bookophiles. Books finished last week: Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. Fantasy - Secondworld. After contracting a terrible disease, a prince is confined to a ruined city, populated by others with the same affliction, and strives to bring order back to the populace. As Sanderson's first novel, this was a clunky but enjoyable read. Recommended if you like doorstopper fantasy. Dragon and Solider (Dragonback #2) by Timothy Zahn. Science Fiction-YA. A boy, wanting to save his alien friend's people, joins a mercenary army. I'm often wondered where are the Heinlein-esque YA novels. I get that feeling from reading The Lunar Chronicles and Red Rising but there seems to be a definite lack of adventure-oriented sci-fi geared towards YA, particularly styles that will appeal to boys (i.e. no or little romance). After reading Zahn's first Star Wars novels, I went searching for more of his books and found the Dragonback series. A quick fun read. Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune by Bill Dedman. 20th Century History - United States. While out walking one day, the author discovers a beautiful mansion that is unoccupied, but meticulously maintained, triggering a quest to learn more about the wealthy reclusive owner. The Woman Who Stole My Life by Marian Keyes. Fiction-Women's. Once recovered from a paralyzing disease, a woman must pick up the pieces in her personal life. Currently reading: Several humorous women's fiction novels The Hollow City by Dan Wells Gumbo Ya-Ya - a history of Cajun folklore and folktales If You Were Here by Jen Lancaster The History of World Literature (Great Courses) by Grant Voth @Kareni if you have any recommendations for humorous romance novels, please let me know! I've read everything by Susan Elizabeth Phillips, but I'm on the lookout for other authors.
  11. This is my favorite Spencer novel! Plus there was a movie with Christopher Reeve. I was sad when she retired. She wrote such fantastic romance books-most of her characters didn't have stupid misunderstandings.
  12. The difference is the focus, especially on “bad” foods. I’m familiar with disordered eating, and I, like many on the thread, felt the OP should reach out to an experienced therapist. There’s no one signal that says “seek help” but since I battle my history daily, I know that if I were thinking the same thoughts expressed in all the posts, it would be time to contact experts.
  13. I would only do it if I had valid suspicion and with my teen’s knowledge. Beside drug use side effects, I discuss with my teens that initial drug testing is common and surprise drug testing may be a part of employment. But I wouldn’t do it to my kids on a regular basis.
  14. I’m not giving financial advice. These are just my thoughts. If the money will be needed in the next five years, putting the funds in a savings account makes sense. You might also consider certificates of deposit (CDs) - the rates would be slightly better than a savings account and “lock up” the funds until maturity. As far as parking any other funds, even experts are terrible at predicting market timing. The stock market could grow over the next five years then crash or crash tomorrow. You also can’t know when you should get back into the market. I tend to be a “set it and forget it” when it comes to retirement unless I expect it in the next five years. Retirement funds should be re-balanced regularly, moving from owning more-risky assets (like stocks) to less-risky assets (like bonds) as you age. I prefer target-date retirement funds because the re-balancing happens automatically without incurring transaction fees. If you aren’t in target-date funds, you might consider them.
  15. A friend drew out an old dog’s treatment for far too long. After the dog’s painful, drawn out death, the friend regretted not letting the dog go earlier. You’re doing the right thing. :hugs:
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