If you are still learning, you might need to click the "next" button, which looks like a gloved hand pointing at something. We recently did a group buy as well and were tripped up because it was busy showing us how to operate the game as opposed to wanting us to do the math.

Soror, Simplicity Parenting was life changing for me. While you probably know how to simplify, the book made me re-think my fundamental beliefs about childhood. It has also helped with my kiddos who both deal with anxiety. In any case, you've had great input in this thread, but the book might be worth a read. We've dialed back on outside commitments, but we've also tried to simplify our living situation (buying a smaller house), closed a family business that made DH and I crazy, and stopped entertaining at our house (just too stressful; kiddos tearing stuff apart). We also have made news much less accessible to both kids -- they were **SO** stressed/distressed about the election. While DH and I thought that it might be time to learn about the political process, this was just not the election to do it. In any case, we've found quite a bit of peace in working on our house, doing activities that the boys enjoy (swimming, fishing, and archery) as a family, and just being as peaceful as possible. I hope that the book is useful to you!

Well, the being the "bigger person" worked out well. DS10 and I went out and finished up the fence last night (after a snack, but before dinner). We actually had a ball -- it didn't take too long, and I was sure to give him breaks to keep him from getting frustrated. It was also a warm day, so the manky pressure washer water actually cooled us down. We head to the river with friends in a few hours for a picnic and swimming. One thing that I did realize is that I'm probably treating DS10 like an older/more mature kiddo than he is, as he's almost as tall as me (I'm pretty short). It's just a disconnect. My head keeps saying, to DS10, "you are basically as tall as me, eat more than me, have bigger feet than me, you should really be able to [insert thing]." And of course, we're working on just tons of skills (slowly and steadily), but it's this disconnect on my part.

Thanks, everyone, for your advice! It's amazing what solid (and diverse) advice comes from the Hive! Taking into account that it's been hot here, that DS10 hasn't been eating protein for breakfast like he should, and that the whole family is rather stressed right now, I'm going to go with the "work together" model with payment to be made upon completion, and it needs to be done by tomorrow so that we can do a fun thing (swimming at the river). DS10 and I are similar creatures, so he just knows how to push the crap out of my buttons. I very, very much appreciate all the different perspectives of the Hive so that I can try to both chill out and be a better parent. :001_wub:

I "hired" DS10 to pressure wash our back fence. He did a good job for the first 2/3 of it, and then sort of doodled with the pressure washer and ultimately stopped. He's refusing to finish the job, and is being shirty about it... he actually said, "you know, mom, if you want something done right, you should do it yourself." *sigh* I'd like to turn this into a teaching moment and talk about the power of doing a good job, etc. (I did bring up that he was hired to do a job, that he didn't finish the job, etc.) He's been surly lately and honestly I'm pretty over it. Part of me wants to stop helping him -- not making dinner the way he likes it, not doing his laundry, etc. and respond that "DS10 should do things himself if he wants something done right." That seems petty and immature to me, but I'd like to drive home the power of doing good work and sticking with a job. Does anyone have a better idea? The pressure washing needs to get done, so leaving it to look crappy isn't an option. Thoughts, opinions, rotten tomatoes at my crappy parenting skills...

Does tile get cold in winter? This would be for the Midwest, and some pretty harsh winters, no in-floor heating...

I say this kindly, but generally all kids who have MRIs have them *because* they have issues. MRIs aren't for fun. Yes, there are risks (there are risks for every medical procedure, without a doubt). But your medical team is aware of the risks, and they recommended a MRI. No doctor I have ever met would do a sedated MRI with a kid just because the mom asked. There has to be a heck of a lot more going on before they even go there (for us, a MRI costs insurance about $15k -- that's a lot of money for no reason). DS7's oncologist weighs very carefully, every meeting we have with him, the benefits versus drawbacks of having an additional MRI. I know doctors and medical staff get vilified in the media, but for the most part, we've had very brilliant, caring professionals. I get momma intuition, but I also know that my momma intuition isn't a substitute for decades of medical school, interning, and practice. I also know that my intuition knows when something is amiss -- it may not say brain tumor in the area postrema, but it knows danger. My question is whether your intuition is saying "something is amiss and I am afraid of what it can be" or "something is amiss and I'm stressed out and I can't deal with anymore right now" or specifically "this MRI is contraindicated because DD is deathly allergic to all anesthesia they could use for a MRI"? Again, I'm not making light of intuition, but your doctor made that appointment for a reason.

I have very forthright opinions on this one, so forgive me in advance: get the MRI. My son was 18 months and had a host of things going on. We had an MRI scheduled that I didn't want to do. We did it anyway and it saved his life. This may not be your daughter's case, but then again something may show up. My son had a brain tumor. He had all these wonky things going on -- seemingly unrelated stuff. It didn't make sense... unless in retrospect you look at the placement of his tumor. Does your daughter have a brain tumor? Probably not. But at the point the appointment is made and authorized by insurance, I'd go for it. DS has had dozens of MRIs. Each one is stressful and scary, there's no denying it. But the information you receive (even if it's nothing shows up on the MRI) gives you more information to work with.

What is the most durable, longest lasting flooring options out there? This would be for a house remodel. I'd like it to last and stand up to abuse. I should add: I don't think concrete is an option, given the house.

... Does anyone have a solid resource in learning the ins and outs of being a landlord? I have no desire to be a slumlord, to get rich quickly (you know what I mean), or to be squeezy. Just looking for solid advice and maybe some checklists and a spreadsheet. Can anyone recommend such a thing? Website, books, whatever. Thanks so much! Edited b/c I tend to overshare.

We sell on Amazon as well. I'm amazed, though, at how many books are the $0.01 books -- it makes selling more difficult. If I were you, I would grab a pile of your books and enter the ISBN numbers into Amazon. See what they are going for. Unless the books are worth a few dollars, it's not worth the effort.

My DH is actively looking for a job using LinkedIn (and other sites). He has been contacted by recruiters and he uses it to network. I own a business and we use it for advertising.

I just requested "membership" in the closed group. I would like two prodigy accounts.

CLE fan girl here, as well. The built in review has been amazing for DS10.

There are some *awesome* recommendations in this huge thread: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/499692-looking-to-do-some-relaxed-math-here-want-to-share-ideas/ Mythmagical Battles (http://www.mythmaticalbattles.com/) is popular here, as well. :-)

It depends which state you're in, but have a friend apply to become a Universal Life Church "pastor" -- I'm one, and have done a few friends' weddings. You also get a handy book that has an order of service (including my favorite, the "Jailhouse" service). http://www.ulchq.com/ -- Make sure you confirm the laws of your state. If you can swing your own "pastor", I'd rent a pavilion at a park and have a huge potluck -- maybe you provide the burgers, hot dogs, and veggie dogs. Maybe get a big cake (because cake is fun!). Have everyone bring sides and drinks. Make sure you have a few frisbees. It would be even better if there was a lake you could swim at (it's hot here). Remember that it's a mindset.

I would start the journal today. Keep going with it until you see trends/triggers. It might be only a week and you learn she needs glasses, shouldn't do a ton of milk, and that caffeine and ibuprofen together fix any headaches. (Or whatever it is that is triggering the headaches.) The journal is purely a tool for you to use! I'm glad a bit of chai helped. It's really wonderful to have some tools to help the situation.

Wilma, I get being concerned about caffeine, but there is science behind the recommendation. This is a quick article on using caffeine, but there are medical journals with more information if you want to do a deep dive. You don't need to give her 64 oz of Pepsi, just perhaps some tea... it doesn't have to be ridiculous amounts. http://www.headaches.org/2009/07/24/does-caffeine-trigger-or-treat-headaches/ If you are thinking about doing an elimination diet, you're going to want to do a food journal -- otherwise it will be difficult to know what is triggering the headaches. And yes, it's a total hassle. No doubt about it. I figured out though, that migraines are triggered by aged cheese and red wine. Talk about a sad, sad realization. DS10 had headaches after reading as his primary indication. He had no issue with gross motor stuff. In any case, we started with our optometrist, and explained DS10's issues. She referred us to a COVD, but that's not always how it goes. You can find a COVD at COVD.org. Best of luck in getting to the bottom of this.

For the weather / headache connection, it's pressure. My family has weather-related headaches, and for some of us, it's when the barometer is rising. For others, it's when the barometer is falling. Many do better with something like Benadryl Allergy-Sinus-Headache (for adults, but with kids there are options). When a headache is coming on, you might want to give her a bit of caffeine. It helps to make the headaches less for some people. What do you give her for headaches? Does it help? Is she congested at all? Is it worse at different times of year? I'd start a headache journal, if you haven't already. Note daily food intake (all), record liquids (dehydration can cause headaches), then times that headaches start and when they start feeling better. What you do for pain management, if anything. It's really useful to be able to look back at the journal and see what trends you see over time. What type of eye exam did she have? COVD or regular eye doctor? My son had headaches due to his eyes not tracking well together (tracking + teaming issue), which was separate from his need for eyeglasses. The COVD diagnosed the issue, and after some vision therapy, the headaches improved. Hope you find something that works. Headaches are no fun. Quick blurb on weather/migraines: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/migraine-headache/expert-answers/migraine-headache/faq-20058505

I've purchased a number of their small electronic devices (lights, calculators, solar dancing whatevers) so that the kids can take them apart to see how they work. I've also purchased 1-inch binders, note cards, and other office supplies. DS10 went through a Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction book and nine out of ten of the supplies were all available at the local dollar store. It really made the obsession economical. :001_smile:

We are going through a similar thing right now. DH has worked for the same employer for almost 20 years and was laid off in June, part of 11,000 folks who we laid off. DH is an engineer. 1. If he doesn't have a LinkedIn.com account, he needs to do that immediately. DH has the "job seeker" plan, but you can also just do a free membership. It's a great way to network. 2. For resume building, have him look online. There are *tons* of samples out there. If your DH gets any sort of career coaching through the layoff, he should take advantage of it. DH has some career coaching through the layoff, and it has been useful. I have a friend who helps write resumes. She'd charge a fee, but I can give you her contact information if you want to PM me. 3. In addition to indeed.com, careerbuilder.com, monster, linkedin, and glassdoor are all good places to hunt for jobs. 4. DH sets aside three or so hours a day to be job searching at our local library. He also does job search stuff at home, but the getting up and getting out of the house has been really helpful for him (and me) mentally. 5. Applicant tracking software just STINKS. It's horrible (you apply through applicant tracking software for many jobs). You NEED to make sure your DH optimizes his resume to deal with the software. DH did not initially, and missed out on interviews for jobs he was 100% qualified for. This article has been really helpful: http://www.cio.com/article/2398753/careers-staffing/5-insider-secrets-for-beating-applicant-tracking-systems.html -- There are other articles out there, but make sure your DH knows about this. Best of luck. This is not a fun process at all, but hopefully an opportunity to make some positive changes for your family.

We did the LVT with grout in three of our bathrooms and the laundry room. It looks great and has held up well. We like that it's warmer on the feet in winter. It has had the kids and a 90 pound lab running around on it, as well as tons of things dropped on it. No problems, everything looks great. We're moving, and if we need new flooring in the new house (haven't purchased one yet), I wouldn't hesitate to put down more of it.

Garga -- DS went ahead and pulled himself together. He did camp yesterday and did fine. He's also paddling today, which is good. The camp has been somewhat of a bust. We signed him up for it in March because they were supposed to be on the water every day, building a boat, fishing, and paddling. Unfortunately, a new director started in May and decided to put her own stamp on camp, changing the program so that they didn't build a boat or do the fishing. They changed the description post-her arrival, but the people who had signed up earlier were not informed of the changes. DH spoke with the director about the changes in schedule, as well as how the camp was being run (counselors on SnapChat, etc). She didn't think anyone would mind the cell phones, etc., and was not entirely helpful on that score. That being said, she did keep a closer eye on DS10 yesterday and made him her helper so that the older boys weren't able to pick on him. The camp is for 10-14 year olds, and the older boys have been doing the camp there for the past month (it's a day camp, so basically babysitting with activities). In any case, it's not the experience we had hoped for, but DS10 is making it work.

We have similar challenges at our house! We went through a huge Konmari purge last year. It's amazing how much more smoothly the house runs now that there is less *stuff* in it. Our house is similarly sized, but we have had a number of family members living with us for the past 10 years. In any case, here's what I do with the issues you posed: 1. What would happen if the table goes away? When we have something that we want to be rid of, we put it in the garage for 10 days or so to see what happens. Try to get it out of the space and see if you miss it. 2. Oh my stars, my husband does that, too! I have labelled bins for medicine and toothbrush/tooth paste, as well as a battery box, light bulb box, picture hanger box, etc. If he buys duplicates, I ask him to return them. For us, DH just is overwhelmed by the size of our house (we all are). We're working on downsizing the house, now that family isn't living with us. 3. All Legos are in the boys' bedroom. For built Legos, we use a 2x4 Expedit from Ikea. For the flotsam and jetsam Legos, we have a huge under-bed storage bin. The legos get put away, under the bed, or the ones left out are "mine." If the Legos are mine, they stay mine until extra chores are done.