Those perks sound great for your kids' visits! Might save you some money while giving you interesting things to do with them.

I would not say I love them. However, I have very good memories related to my grandparents' and some aunts/uncles' funerals. At that time, visitations were longer, and except for my one grandpa whose body was at his home, they were all at a funeral home. Our extended family plus friends gathered and basically spent a couple of days at the funeral home. Nobody was forced to stay by the body, though I think everybody saw it; nobody was told to touch it or kiss it, but it did bring home the fact that the person was gone, which brought a level of acceptance that has been harder to achieve when a funeral was not attended. We cried, we laughed, the little kids ran around, people got up and went to the body, people went outside for some fresh air, and people told stories. It was a bonding time to my large extended families like no other, and I saw sides of my relatives that I saw at no other time. So even though the grieving had just begun, the healing had too. It was just what families did, and that included the little kids.

If I were going anyway (i.e., our family was traveling there), I would take my child. I wouldn't pressure them to do anything like @MercyA is talking about above. As a young child, I was taken to funerals, though not encouraged to touch or anything. I think it helped develop a healthy approach toward death, to a certain extent. I remember going to a home visitation when I was three. My grandfather died when I was eight. That was at a time and place where visitation was in the home, and the body was then taken to the church for the funeral, usually on day three. It was creepy to me in some ways, and I thought about it a lot when I went to bed at night. But death is also part of life, and I am glad I was not shielded too much and was able to gradually be exposed before I had to face it with someone who I was really close to--something not everyone has the privilege to do. I mean, I loved my grandfather, but I was one of many grandchildren, and wouldn't say it was a really close relationship.

Hope your first day goes well, and that you have a very smooth transition!

Gonna ramp this up a bit with a quote from Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things that Go: "Homer drove his tractor into the pond. That wasn't very smart, Homer!" The last sentence of which can often be heard coming from my mouth while driving down the road trying to avoid people's recklessness.

Thanks. We are all too far away to make Thanksgiving a regular all-family day. One of the families has come a couple of times for Thanksgiving, and another one comes every other year for Christmas. But we will be able to see everybody at some point in the next few months (just not all together), so we are thankful.

Me too! It is my favorite holiday. I'm missing my kids though. Only one will be here, and he plans on hunting most of the weekend. Thankfully, we will be spending the day with good friends.

That's exciting, Heart! I hope this means a real turnaround for you as you start these changes. ❤️ I know it may be awhile before you are able to get out from under the financial burdens completely, but at least you are on your way! I hope you love your new job.

Interestingly, I was hospitalized once in Asia with some gastrointestinal thing. Every day, a small glass of fresh coconut water was brought to me and put on the night stand (and everybody else's, I assume, as there was a cart with the glasses on it). I had never tried it before. The first day, I sipped part of it tentatively. The second day, I drank the whole glass. The third day, I could hardly wait until they brought it. Fresh from the coconut like that, I could almost feel it strengthening me as I drank it. It made such a difference--not just with my stomach issues, but in reviving my strength. After that, when I saw it sold on the street on hot days, I would buy it (they would chop off the top of the coconut right there, and give you a straw).

Someone else is hosting us tomorrow. But all I had to do today was make up the make-ahead mashed potatoes. https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/homemade-make-ahead-mashed-potatoes/907d6ced-69bb-4197-bea7-062a5d6f8b30 (I add ½ cup mayo, ½ cup sour cream, and either chives or onion powder, plus I leave the peelings on the potatoes). This recipe works so nicely to help free up the day-of work. Plus then the potatoes are resistant starch. So they are in the fridge ready to be baked tomorrow. They can also be frozen if anybody is interested in this recipe for the future. Tomorrow I have the salad to make (that I posted in @Drama Llama's thread). I have cranberry-pistachio biscotti made as a less rich/less sweet dessert, cheese ball made and crackers bought, congealed cranberry salad made, and French coconut pie in the freezer, plus homemade granola to take to the hostess. Now I am just chilling out with a book.

Wow, you ladies certainly have my sympathy! Thankfully, once it is time to sleep, neither of us likes touching. I'm grateful, because I know he would be hurt if I wanted to sleep in a different room/bed. We don't have one available, anyway. I do sleep better when he is traveling, for the most part, but it isn't bad when he is home. We run a fan, and I use a CPAP, and those help a lot.

It wouldn't be the same flavor, of course, but you could sub roasted sunflower seeds to go with the pepitas.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I think it is so hard these days, dealing with all the screen stuff. It is also very easy for one who wants to be secretive, to get a phone the parents know nothing about. So keep your antennae up for hidden screens, too.🙁

That looks delicious, Katy! DL, I am taking this lovely salad: https://juliasalbum.com/sweet-potato-salad/?fbclid=IwAR3at0eYUEZ2B9Mv8rXnvxEPjZpXz5gsURwOurZ1qPuspvezBubwVYLgX24 I was at a Friendsgiving the other day where a dish very similar to this was an appetizer: https://thestayathomechef.com/cranberry-salsa/ It was so good! ETA: I have not made this salad before. But it looks yummy.

I know you have your menu figured out for now. But just in case anybody else wants to do this, several years we have had our turkey, etc., just us. Then around 5 or so, friends come over for appetizers and desserts. We don't actually eat dessert after the main meal, usually eaten around 1:00. We save it and have the appetizers and desserts for the evening meal, and play games or talk. We're having friends over later this weekend, and just having soup. It's so nice after all the heavy eating, to have something simple and nourishing.

Don't worry about this for one second. It is not his business. And you need this help. ETA: I know, I know, easy for me to say. Sigh.

When I was a teenaged babysitter, I always found one to be harder, with the exception of the family with four wild boys (that I never ever again babysat!). The "ones" wanted my full-on attention the whole time. I always gave the kids my attention, so I'm not talking about my not being attentive, but I mean the sucking-the-life-out-of-you-interact-with-every-single-thing-I-do-and-say kind of attention. They were sweet kids, but it wore me out. My favorite families were the ones with three, so I planned to have three kids. But six was even better. I've heard people say, "What's one or two more?" when talking about having an extra kid along. Personally, I could see saying that with adding another to the family, but I definitely felt the difference of one or two more when it was kids from a different family. It changed the dynamic, and I found it stressful.

I agree with this.

Agree with too many variables. Yes, with Mercy, none can be heartbreaking. One was easy, but I was really ready for the second--I like it when there are playmates. I never had just three, because we went from two to four, twins. We were so excited to have them, we just adjusted. Five was easy-peasy, because his nearest sibs in age were seven years older, and they were all four so crazy about him, almost all I had to do was feed him. Six had some challenges due to adoption issues, but overall he/we adjusted well, and it was so great to have him and feel our family was complete. I did not really have one child that stands out as being too much harder than the others; it was more stages, here. This or that one would be in a hard stage for several years, then would come out of it in time for another to jump in.🤪 I am not a person who needs to get out and about a lot, and was very happy having our daily routines center around the children. Except for the colicky first three months with the oldest, my babies all slept well and were easy-going. I had a friend whose babies were so high strung and had very high pitched cries/screams. No wonder I found mothering so much easier! Things like that make such a huge difference. When our twins arrived, I just knew that they were my job at that time, and I was not going to feel guilty or frustrated because I couldn't get out and do all the things. But my dh was so involved, I was able to have house help at the time, and we lived in a walkable town. Most of my kids' growing up years, we did not live where tons of extra curricular activities were the thing, so being the chauffeur for six kids' ballgames, concerts, etc., was not part of the picture. (They did participate in some of those things, but the setting was different). I was a SAHM and a homeschooler most of the years, so I did not have to juggle daycare, school drop-off and pickup (most years), or trying to figure out who was going to stay home with the sick kid. All of those things make a difference, too. I could not have handled six kids well if I'd had to manage what a lot of people have to manage.

Yay! I hope it is a wonderful experience!

I often make a cheese ball to take with a box of crackers during the holidays. People seem to enjoy pulling it out for the munchies.

At my last employment, I had to take in my SS card. They needed a copy of it on file. They handed the original right back to me after making the copy.

I'm so sorry to hear this. May God's grace, peace, and comfort be with you as you grieve--not just for his death, but for what you wish the relationship had been.❤️

It's actually possible that not everybody else in the family is crazy about these trips either. You might be paving the way for some other people to also make different choices. It might not be seen as progress to those who want things to stay the same year after year, but as the grandkids in the family start getting older, it will likely change anyway.

I've bookmarked it now. I also have used another of her pilates videos (for beginners), and really like her, so it was good to see a familiar face!