My MIL passed away today. She chose direct cremation so we have no funeral home/funeral director, etc. I am handling everything. I saw online places where you can buy tombstones for a fraction of the cost of funeral home ones. Has anyone ever used one of these places? Any to recommend? We want simple but don't want junk.

I have legal guardianship over each of my 3 children. It costs about $500 for the testing required to prove they are in need of a guardian and then court was free. We didn't use a lawyer at all. I would call your local court and ask the process of getting guardianship of a disabled adult. They had free paperwork for me to fill out. I didn't need conservatorship as my kids had no money of their own that needed managing. Under disability I am their payee so that gives me legal right to manage the finances.

What is motivating to her? One friend had her child pay for their own sitter (past typical sitter ages when their behavior was the cause) out of their own money or extra chores. Would she be motivated by a "reward" of some sort of good behavior when you are gone? Could be she just has to go with you if she can't be trusted alone. Are there other mood swings issues, etc that might warrant a doctor's visit?

I found 45 the hardest. 40 was easy. At 45 though you have to start checking the box 45-54 in forms for your age. That hit me. 46 and 47 we're no big deals.

I managed to survive that forum change and I will survive this one too.

I will have to see where else they fly. Even though I live 10 minutes from Lake Michigan, I still would love water and sand....as in Jan/Feb sun and warm are totally absent from Michigan.

I do have mini vacations planned before then but they involve taking the kids which still means I will.still be on duty. I looked last night and flights from here to Clearwater airport are reasonable so that might be doable. I just hate going down there and not taking my girls as they have 3 bio siblings that live there they would love to see. Again, then though I am not "off duty" at all as all three sibling have special needs too. Great kids, lots of fun but not a relaxing vacation.

I am looking for ideas on a vacation for me....and maybe a friend or 2 or 3. I am in West Michigan so want something that is drive able or easy (not too expensive) flights. I would love to go next Jan or Feb when the winter duldrums and lack of sunshine are hitting hard. I want something clean and safe but doesn't need to be fancy. I would love something on the water where I could sit and read my book, walk along the beach, etc. I wnjoy walking/hiking trails, boardwalks, etc. Another option would.be a nice mountain cabin with a river/creek and hiking trails, etc.....but not a lot of bugs that would make being outside unpleasant. I Jace little to no interest in shopping, tourist trap type things, expensive adventures, amusement parks, etc. An area where we could each do our own thing when we wanted and then do something together as well would be nice. I am fine eating very simple things in the room/condo/house and only eating a meal or 2 out at a local favorite. The goal of the trip would be to relax, get some sunshine and warmth, unplug, and just enjoy the water/sun/outdoors, etc. What places should I look at? I want to be price conscious but not too many extreme. I have gone to and enjoyed the St Petersburg/Clearwater area but we didn't stay on the beach that trip. There are cheap direct flights to that area so I am open to that.

Absolutely. Considering I was babysitting for a toddler and a newborn for short time periods at age 9 I wouldn't hesitate. Any 10 year olds are home alone for hours at a time.

Glad to know I am ok with the text, FB message responses. I have 3 major crisis situations going in here at the moment so just breathing, working and caring for my kods is about all I have got right now.

Due to major things going on in my life right now a few friends have brought over meals. Do I send a thank you card to them or is personal thanks followed up by a text/FB message thanks enough? What is modern protocol?

Right now it is driving 2 hours away to walk with a friend every few weeks. We used to walk 3-4 days a week but she moved away.

Do you still have your old Weight Watchers stuff from 2004? If so, that might be worth a try again. I understand the frustration.

I guess it depends on his functioning level. Mine that get SSI help contribute. I am assuming he is too high functioning for SSI, right? I think helping to contribute is just part of being an adult. What and how much is up to you. I also like the idea of 20 hours a week volunteering and doing chores around the house as well. No reason for an adult, even if special needs, to sit around home while everyone else works or is in school (or runs the household). My friend has a son with some learning disabilities and other issues but when he does not have a oayng job she leaves him a list (very detailed as he needs the detail) of chores to do.....washing walls and windows, washing all bedding, cleaning woodwork and trim, lawn care, cleaning bathrooms, etc so that he stays busy. While I am strongly in the camp of proper medication and counseling for depression, I am also in the camp that lack of meaningful work can cause more depression.

We had a cat that would follow along like a dog when we went horseback riding.

It is also not fair to the school to consider sending her for the last 9 weeks of the year every year. Their funding is often based on enrollment in Sept and Jan so they would not receive any funding for her to attend. For this year if you were considering keeping her in school that would be OK as they do have students move in and out through the year but to repeatedly do that takes advantage of them and uses them as a free 9 week camp for which she would be uses resources, etc but they would not get funding for.

Black bean tacos 1 can corn, drained 1 can black beans drained 1 can petite diced tomatoes, mostly drained 1 pack taco seasoning mix Mix together and heat through. Serve with lettuce, sour cream, cheese, onions, etc (whatever you want/have in hand) either over rice like a bowl or in soft tortillas. Super flexible as you can add left over chicken or beef or rice to the mix as well.

That would just be way too easy

Yes, we had it wherey son could not fill out the forms because he was legally incompetent but it could not as legal guardian as I was not him. Basically it had to be filled out and but neither of us could legally do it.

And they need to rename SSI and SSDI and social security as they are all handled very differently but people think they are interchangeable. Going back to start that fight later today.

Tap....I am right there with you. I was told that I am a household of 4 but each of my kids is a household of 1. I think I found something that answers my questions but not totally sure.

Or one of my cognitively impaired kids.

My son gets SSI. He also works a very part time job. We applied for food stamps for him. Worker said he qualified for $15/month. I agreed as that is better than nothing. Then he got a letter he would get x amount instead. Higher amount so I was happy. Next month I get a letter he will get twice that new amount. Great. Next month, he gets that new highest amount plus $20. The following month he gets $40 less, and on and on. Seriously though, his information has not changed from the $15/month to the way higher amount. I report honestly for him and it varies greatly each month even though his income is very stable. Then due to major life change, I had to apply for medical care for myself. Problem is no one can figure out if I am a family of 1, a family of 4, possibly a family of 3. SSI is never counted....but maybe it is, but never, except maybe.... Home help.funds are not income, but maybe, no, not really, but..... Seriously, I am an intelligent woman and I can not figure out these forms and when I call for help I get different (and often opposite) answers depending on the person I talk to. How in the world do you answer these things honestly when no one that works there can agree on what the correct response/amount is?? Vent over, time for bed. Tomorrow is a new day....with new (different) answers to the same questions

I hope your new job goes well. That is great that you got the 30 hours of pay coming as well that you did not expect.

The readers from I See Sam www.iseesam.com have nice stories (although a few kids don't like them) and they move slowly with new sounds/words with lots of practice. They can be a complete reading program but also work as readers with another program.