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Sneezyone

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Everything posted by Sneezyone

  1. I would note that my child wasn't named, tagged, or specifically mentioned and keep it moving.
  2. 1994– I wore a shimmery dark green sleeveless fit and flare with a sweetheart neckline, floor length. If I still had it, I’d wear it today. 🥰
  3. Could be. It’s a big, public family and we have more than one NPD, all spawned from the same person.
  4. You’re describing some of my cousins.
  5. Trust, I’ve seen it. It’s easier to blame long-term victims who act out or cut off contact than confront the complicity that permitted the abuse and disfunction to flourish. Watching the reveal before neutral witnesses in court is validating.
  6. In my experience, the NPD will torment whoever is left that might even possibly get the person who leaves to respond. It takes a lot of discipline to go no contact and few have the stomach to do it family wide.
  7. I totally appreciate having larger properties (b/c that’s all they are) available for STR but I stopped using them years ago when their fees and (not)benefits became ridiculous. We get better hospitality, cleanliness, and prices at hotels these days. Beyond screwing with local housing markets, the value just isn’t there. Nine months of mortgage for my sib=3 months of short term nursing housing with thrice as much space located a short 15 min drive away.
  8. This part. Short term housing with kitchens (condos) are regulated in some places (as they should be) like hotels. Never had an issue.
  9. Just to push back...they are REQUIRED to accommodate all and not turn people away but that is NOT their reason for being. It's unrealistic to think that the people operating the system (because that is how systems work) wont have feelings about a newcomer potentially sitting for exams that they're not prepared to do well on, potentially impacting their bonuses, teacher ratings/reviews, etc. We've had lots of discussions here about the importance of and reasons for starting kids at various points, depending on district tracks and norms. Having *HAD* to start my kids mid-year b/c of a military move, I can assure you it is less than ideal; they were not warmly welcomed; and the teachers were largely resentful (high-achieving district, STRONG math tracking), even before high school.
  10. Oh, goodness, we had one of these on vacation last week. DHs timing is atrocious!! Not every three to five years, nope, DH held on to this issue for 7. He claimed he finally had time to think about it b/c work (which also…ISSUE!!!). This time, unlike previous times, I am not as willing to forgive and forget. This time, I asked him to go home a day early and give me space. This time, I insisted he get therapy and make/keep friendships with ppl that he can share with. We’ve been married 26 years, no infidelity, great sex, no love lost…definitely ebbing trust on my part. Time to switch things up. I think we’ll get past this but I don’t think it’s normal or excusable. DH isn’t a curs-er but I am, if you make me mad enough. He uses ‘em like seasoning with friends. I use ‘em when I am past all reasonable limits.
  11. Same. I will have to relo, it’s part of DHs job, just hoping to hold on until DS graduates in 2026. Not expecting good things. I would be ok with Virginia, Maine, or Washington, maybe Wisconsin/Michigan/Missouri (it depends on the zeitgeist/political trends). We need to stay on the coasts for DH. We know lots of folks with homes in FL and AL who have regrets. We want to find a place that all our children and potential grands feel comfy visiting. Weather is important but secondary. I’m visiting Minneapolis with DS this summer and may consider that. DH recently expressed no desire for any return to AR (long my position) but that was new for him. We’ve just outgrown it.
  12. All of my feelings are very close to the surface. I’ve always been able to be relatively mellow in real life but, at the moment, every little thing feels like a pea under my mattress. I wouldn’t say I’m scared but I have employed a few coping mechanisms. 1) I imagine myself like Elsa with the storm raging around me and sit still, eyes closed, and breathe deep. 2) I send my people away/off when I feel on the verge of explosion. 3) I created a gospel playlist that reminds me to do 1&2 and have that on a loop in the car. I’m having mixed results, lol. Ask me again at the end of this year.
  13. I think I might have this issue for one half of my (‘leisure’) trip today and possibly for my entire (work) trip with DS in May. I upgraded DSs legroom already but I’ve flown A LOT in the last year and have a bunch of trips this year too. I earned a systemwide status upgrade for the first time so my comp. Upgrade odds are much higher overall. I feel kinda bad and kinda not. This is the one bright spot in a lot of chaos and disorder.
  14. If you’re traveling in a duo or group and are offered a complimentary service upgrade (and your travel companion(s) are not) do you take it? What if accepting the upgrade earns you addl. loyalty points, miles, or rewards?
  15. My bestie and my husband know 100%. My really good girlfriends know about 95%. We’ve all seen and done some things.
  16. DD learned in and drives a manual transmission car. She has the same complaints but she learned during the pandemic with fewer drivers in general. Post-pandemic, drivers and consumers are much, much, much worse.
  17. We live in a suburban environment with LOTS of newbies behind the wheel. I *wish* more parents put the dang magnets on the car instead of assuming we can see their cherubic faces behind tinted windows. I’ve seen multiple accidents featuring teen drivers on typical suburban streets.
  18. I INSIST on them for our new drivers. They really do make sure people give them a wide berth and more grace.
  19. Sure, if it’s accurate. Ours isn’t. We paid 20k OOP/with savings and it was fine. We prepared for that. We did not prepare to support another household, the entire housing expense, and that’s what we’re doing. If we received market rent for our rental vs nothing or 60% which is what we (occasionally) get, it’d be fine.
  20. We filled it out for this year but DD just completed her portion last week.
  21. Yes. We’ve been financially supporting two other family members for the better part of three years but haven’t claimed them as dependents. As a result, and because of me going back to work (making that support possible), our SAI went from 17k to 41k. Fortunately, we can and will be using the GI bill next year. DDs school participates in the yellow ribbon program which will limit our financial contribution to the level it was this year AND give us money to pay for her housing. Not all schools do this (guarantee four years of aid regardless of income). We could certainly appeal the SAI based on our circumstances but that, too, is time consuming and messy.
  22. We finally got our SAI for this year and it was…insane…more than 2x what it was the year before. It certainly made clear why we needed to use other means this year and pick a school with guaranteed terms. We’ll have an extra dependent next year so that will help for DSs baseline year.
  23. I haven’t read all the replies, so pls forgive me if what I’m about to say has already been said but I was struck by something this week. I’ve been binge watching ‘the man in the high castle’. Those of you who’ve already seen the series may know where I’m going. I’ve been struck, once again, by the ease with which people convince themselves that they’re doing the right thing in excusing or ignoring or being silent in the face of gross behavior. Sometimes it’s because they’re protecting the people that they care about most, sometimes it’s because they are pursuing, single-mindedly, specific objectives. But often, it’s the people who simply sit back and watch, who observe, who do nothing in the face of violations against other people who do the most harm because it’s not their issue. It’s real easy to think that doing nothing, preserving the peace, is a benign and harmless way to behave, but it’s not. Doing nothing is the easy thing. Doing something is hard. I’m not suggesting everyone take up arms, or be a warrior in any particular cause. I am simply saying that there are trade-offs when you do nothing and that it’s really important to weigh what you can and cannot live with and the impact that has writ large. The things OP described are, largely, things I could not live with. It’s within my own family that I have the MOST influence, not amongst strangers, and so I choose to act accordingly.
  24. The kids in DSs school no longer mask unless ill or immunocompromised.
  25. Yes, this is what I am saying. Establishing a foundation of openness and trust, LONG before the teen years, matters. It always has. It always will. Those of us who’ve been around a long time are likely to know each others’ parenting inclinations and social stressors.
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