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HRAAB

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Posts posted by HRAAB

  1. I think any egg cooked other than scrambled dry is repulsive. Like, vomit inducing. I'd eat the toast.

     

    Fried, poached, boiled, scrambled, whatever, it has to be killed.  That is actually how I order fried eggs - 'kill it'.  Now a rock hard fried or poached egg on toast - yummy.  

     

    Two of my dds eat them all runny, mixed up in their hashbrowns or with toast.  I turn away.  I didn't raise them like that.

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    Congratulations on the new grandbaby.

     

    I don't understand his parents at all.  What do they want their son to do? Dump your daughter? Ignore his responsibility? Or provide financial support but leave it at that?  This is their grandchild, too. Not only would they be disowning their son, they will be disowning their grandchild.

     

    They need you and your dh to support them in their good decisions, and it sounds like they are now making good decisions.  Not what they originally planned, but they're dealing with reality.  They will need you even more if they're lacking support from his parents.

     

    And, it will be okay.  My oldest was also pregnant before she and her dh got married.  Plans changed (they often do). Anyway, we now have three beautiful granddaughters, and my dd has a good husband.  They are a beautiful family.

     

    Feelings can change.  If his parents don't change right now, maybe they will after the baby is born.  Babies can bring about big changes in people.  I hope they do.  You can't do anything about his parents' behavior.  But your dd and her fiance are so blessed to have you.

     

    eta:  deleted quote

    • Like 5
  3. This behavior might well be more common than I'm aware of, but it is not healthy.  I witnessed this with my grandmother and my mother.  I witnessed it and felt it with my mil and dh.  I see it happening with my dd's best friend and her mother.  It's easy to say that controlling adult children is just an illusion, but those parent/child relationships are multi-faceted and deep.  The roots go all the way back to the beginning.  It's not always so easy to just say 'mom, I love you but I'm making my decisions now so back off' or whatever.  Parent/child love can be a strong tool; not that that is real love, but it's a great way to control adult children.  And it's not just a case where the parents ends up losing; the adult child has lost, too.

    • Like 5
  4. Yikes. I know exactly what you mean and it's a huge reason my kids aren't allowed in youth groups. Because of the junk I saw growing up and hear from other parents about their kids. No thanks to that mess. I don't allow that either and it means I butt heads with staff sometimes. Apparently I've developed a bit of rep for not allowing it. Those who have known me for years though don't really argue about it. It's those who don't who think I'm wrong for not being very "open" and encouraging my kids to be "open". Nope. That's bull. We're Catholic dang it. If my kids need to divulge something deeply personal and emotional - they have parents and a priest. Everyone else needs to back off and mind their own business and keep their amateur pop psychology to themselves thank you very much.

     

    The one time I really blew up was when 'full participation is expected from candidates for Confirmation' was thrown in my face.  No, my girls do not need to sit in a circle and spill their guts in front of other kids when they're 15 years old in order to be confirmed.  What total crap.  What about actually catechizing them?  Forget that.  Gads! Still makes my blood boil.

    • Like 2
  5. I've always told my girls they never have to share anything personal unless they are totally comfortable with it, and if it concerns a family situation, they need to talk to me or their dad first.  When my dad was sick before he passed away, there were other family issues going on in relation to his illness which created another whole layer of grief.  There is absolutely no way I would want my girls talking about those issues in a class.  This is an issue I've come across with church youth groups and retreats; they get very personal at times and there is a lot of pressure to share very personal stories.  I got into a rather heated argument with one youth minister over the subject.  

    • Like 6
  6. We absolutely love dried pears here, the whole family, just like candy.

     

    I was surprised no one liked them.  As a rule, we love dried fruit.  I think it was the texture mainly.  They got eaten but I was asked not to dry them again.

  7. Did you peel for the pear sauce? I have a pressure cooker...

     

    No.  Peeling pears is a pain.  I have a food strainer/saucer that separates the peel and seeds from the pulp.  I wash, cut out bad spots, and if the fruit is hard (like apples) I heat the fruit to just soften it, and then run through the saucer.  Some of the pears weren't quite soft enough, and I heated them.  Otherwise, I just dumped them in the saucer.  I processed with a hot water bath.

    • Like 1
  8. Ah. So it must be a regional thing. I've never lived in a place where people were pressing pears on me :)

     

    We had a bumper crop of pears this year.  In fact, our fruit trees had a fantastic year.  I'm just so done with canning/drying/preserving.  I'm trying to convince dh to take out some of our fruit trees.  

  9. how do you make pear butter? Doesn't that take awfully long to cook down? (No crockpot here)

     

    Yes, it does take a long time to cook down.  I ran the pears through a saucer, added sugar and spices and let it cook all day (about 11 hours) until it was thick enough to bottle.

     

    I tried drying them one year, but no one in the family liked them.  I can pears to eat during the winter, but I still have a number of jars left from last year.  I've also made pear sauce (just like applesauce).  It didn't need to cook down as much as the butter.  It was okay.  In my opinion, pears are best fresh.  They are a favorite for a couple of my girls and dh.  Other than just canning (or freezing) them or making pear butter, I'm not sure what to do with them.

     

    What about pear preserves? 

  10. I like baptisms during Sunday Mass.  There is such a feel of community.  However, for me personally, I like private baptisms, or maybe during a weekday Mass when there are only a handful of people present.  Because standing up at the altar in front of the huge congregation could cause this introvert a near anxiety attack.  So all my girls had private baptisms.  

     

    Our parish does baptisms one Sunday each month.

  11. Most jobs here are contracting out only. Only upper management isn't contracted, and often they are too.

     

    These "temp" or "contract" jobs often have many workers who have been "temp/contract" for a year or more.

     

    No benefits and the pay isn't one bit better than if they were on a company payroll.

     

    And you can't really choose to not work through those agencies bc of the huge number of employers who don't accept hires any other way. It becomes work "temp" or don't work at all.

     

    ETA: these are not transient or physical day labor jobs either. These are everything from machining to office to lower management.

     

    This exactly.

  12. I miss the days when I lived in my little bubble and life was all hunky dory.  Dh was employed with a large hi tech company, had a decent salary, vacation pay up to 5 weeks, sick leave, fantastic health insurance (thankfully had that for all my pregnancies), a retirement plan. It was a good job. I really never worried.  Then they started chipping away until finally his job was off shored.  Boy, was that a painful way to be humbled and quickly.  Since then he's continued doing the same work as a contract employee.  Not only does he not have any sick leave, vacation time, holiday pay, plus health insurance that has skyrocketed in price, his pay has decreased.  Exact same work.  And living expenses increase.  Yes, he's gone to work sick as does his co-workers that are contract.  Oh, and never knowing if your contract is going to be renewed.  He's been unemployed since June this time.  The company that had his contract off shored his particular job.  And telling him he needs to change career paths is not helpful.  He is in his late 50s.  And you know what?  Compared to so many others, we have it good.  For every complaint I have, I feel guilty. 

     

    Now I'm looking for work.  That has been an eye opening experience.  Even though I went to college and worked for 15 years, I realize I've been out of the workforce for 20 years.  I'm looking for clerical/office work since I feel comfortable with that after such a long time.  I'm seeing office jobs starting at $9.50 an hour - jobs that require some skills.  No time off.  At will employment. How in the world does a person afford to take a sick day with those wages?  I would love to get the pay (and benefits) I was making in 1995.  Funny how back then I thought I was underpaid.  

     

    eta:  to be fair, dh could work from home.  He broke his ankle earlier this year and worked from home for a couple of weeks.  But, you never know how that's going to reflect on you.  The manager over his contract was really big on all employees being on site, and with being an at will employee, it could be an easy goodbye.

     

     

     

     

     

    • Like 1
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