lovemyboys
-
Posts
1,444 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by lovemyboys
-
-
:iagree: Train them just like you trained your pets. Hand them a bag. Make your request known, repeatedly, with a smile.
Yes they should know better, but since they don't, you'll have to train them.
Exactly!
Years before dh and I got a dog, I helped out a blind young woman. She always picked up after her guide dog. Always.
That made a big impression on me. If a blind person can do that, so can I. So can you.
When I see people allow their dogs to go in other people's space -- lawns, parks, ballfields, the beach (!) and then start to walk away -- I very nicely say "oh, I noticed you didn't have a bag -- I'm sure I've got one here somewhere (in my car, beach bag)."
They always take it and pick up.
I agree -- especially since you know it's the same inconsiderate neighbors! Time for some good training.
Good luck. :001_smile:
-
My dd15 babysits for many families and often parents call to schedule her and are bummed she has already been booked by another family. Before she started babysitting we talked about expectations...kids are first, house back to how it was second, tv or texting third. When babysitting and kids will be in bed prior to parents returning she picks up (like the dishes) after bedtime, but when parents are out for just the afternoon sometimes there is no time to pick up because of taking care of the kids (think about how many times we as moms can't even get it done before dad gets home).
I have rules for transportation and some parents don't hire because of it and that is fine...I drop off always, figuring mom needs to be getting ready to go out and I require that the mom bring her home...NEVER the dad, no matter who he is...deacon/elder/pastor/close family friend/totally awsome trustworthy guy/someone we don't know well/military hero/our bank manager...I had more than one creepy dad drive me home when I was a teen babysitter and don't allow my daughter to be put in that situation...I let the moms know that should something come up and she is unable to drive our daughter home (consumed alcohol, need to take care of kids upon returning home, etc) all she needs to do is call and I will come pick up my daughter, no problem.
I think when expectations are clear at the onset everyone had a chance of being happy
Oh, and before she babysits for a family for the first time (of someone we don't know) we always arrange to come by a day or two in advance to meet the kids see how they behave with mom there ask questions and I get a chance to see the family dynamic a bit, if either of us walk away uncomfortable we cancel the job. I don't feel it is fair to put a 15 y/o in a position to watch a child that even the mother can't control, after all even though she is responsible she is still young and problem children can be very stressful and no one benefits from that
Way to go, Mom. Sounds like you've got an excellent team together.
I have no doubt that more than one of the dads driving me home was tipsy or flat out drunk when I was a teen. It was another era .... Much better to protect our dear dc. : )
-
If your babysitter is a minor you have to at least consider transportation issues. Around here it is common for the husband to go pick up the babysitter and take her home.
If she serves dinner to the kids, she should tidy up but she shouldn't have to wash dishes and mop. (I did when I babysat but I do think it is above and beyond the call of duty.)
If she puts the kids to bed, the family's regular habits of tidying up should be observed as part of the rituals she has to go through in getting them down. (I mean supervising and helping kids with picking up toys and hanging up towels.)
It is your responsibility to have conversations at hiring time about what exactly the job entails. Spell out for her exactly what you expect, but don't be surprised if some girls don't even do this stuff at home and won't do it for you.
Lastly, I think this is important: If you find a girl you really, really trust with your kids, and your kids like her, and she is reliably on time, etc., let the cleaning part go rather than lose her.
:iagree: AND pay her well. Throw in a bit extra if you were longer than you thought or it was a long sitting period or if things are especially well done.
I was very conscientious as a sitter too, but the most important thing to me as a parent now is that my dc are well taken care of and like the person they're with. Iow, I'd rather have him/her sitting on the floor playing games with them than washing dishes, kwim?
-
It's not the age difference. It's that she is still a child in the process of developing into a mature woman.
If she were 20 and he were 55, I'd raise an eyebrow, but I wouldn't think it's gross the way 16 and 51 is gross.
Children should not be married to 51-year-old men. 51-year-old men should not be interested in marrying children.
Then again, the 80-plus Hefner and 25-yo bunny was pretty gross too. Glad she saw the light (after she got famous of course.)! :tongue_smilie:
-
As I said, her professional resume notwithstanding, she's 16. She's still developmentally, 16. Her brain isn't finished developing even if her boobs are. She's a girl/child.
A man who is 51 interested in a 16 year old has problems.
This is exactly why the actions of Anthony Weiner were so disgusting. He may not have been physically intimate with those he approached, but a 46-yo man "sext-ing" with a 17yo high school student, among others in their late teens, 20s -- something wayyy off there. He might not have send the nude/semi-nude photos to the youngest of his fans, but the sexual innuendo is unmistakable. Ick.
Her physical maturity has certainly been enhanced. Wonder who's footing those bills hoping that she'll get her big break? There's more than one older adult here who could be seen to be taking advantage of a beautiful young teen here. :glare:
Hollywood encourages those things, but I'm often shocked when parents of 15-16-17 yo stars stand by while their teens "date" other stars in their mid-20s and 30s. :001_huh:
-
Maybe it's just the angle of the picture, but I don't think he looks 51, either....
You're right...he's pretty boyish looking and she's definitely not your typical 16 yo. Plus she's had a good bit of work done if she's truly just 16.
Interesting that on the link there was a photo of Joan Rivers off to the side -- someone else who's a big believer in plastic surgery.
Imo this is too big an age gap mostly because it's such a huge experience, life experience and life expectation gap. I wouldn't want my own children to got this route, but if it works for the two in this photo .....
-
I thought this would be a good way to get in electives. How does it work in your house?
We did for special things like art and science experiments -- last year -- and it worked really well. Then our schedules changed and we weren't able to this year that's just finishing.
In our experience, the kids really looked forward to the schedule and would remind me if we were forgetting or rearranging. Plus, it helped me to make sure we did some of the cool things and not just let LA & math take over.
:001_smile:
-
I'm not a doctor-I'm just going by what various physicians have told me over the years in discussions about it and the stories I have heard from grown men about their experiences of having the procedure as an adult.
And how safe the procedure may (or may not) be as an older child or adult has no bearing on the fact that people are attempting to legislate away parental rights/responsibilities and religious practices on the assumption that the government or the voting public knows better than they do about how to care for a child. There is a vast difference between educating soon to be parents of boys about the options and eliminating options through legislation.
:iagree: That's pretty much it in a nutshell.
-
Don't forget Book Samaritan! They would happily take them.
Yes, I did send them a nice big box once.
Are they still active? I thought it was on hiatus for awhile...?
-
:grouphug: I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I have not sold any curriculum on here (or anywhere) yet. But I value the boards because I scour them all the time looking for the items we need. If all the sellers left discouraged, it would sure be a sad day for honest buyers.
I do wonder what kind of great curriculum you guys have given away. No one gives curriculum away around where I live! :001_smile:
We've lived a couple different places. I sell only the very best of our stuff and give most away. When we factor in the hassle, shipping, reduced prices, etc., dh and I have just figured it makes more sense for us to donate the books and materials somewhere that can use them. We also give to friends and fellow homeschoolers a good bit.
I've been fortunate to buy used a few times and received almost everything as advertised. A couple descriptions of very good condition were optimistic at best. It makes me wary, I guess.
But, as we head into the upper grades and spend more for curriculum, we might rethink this. :001_smile:
ETA: Sorry to hear OP so frustrated. It takes some of the excitement away from clearing shelves, making money and finishing a deal.
-
Usually there is an SPF - check the label. I use them instead of sunscreen for back/belly (one did get a little sunburn on shoulders the other day when we were swimming around noon in hot sun).
My kids wear them IN the pool. They're also good for cold pools. We call them swim shirts.
YES!
Very fair child has had no trouble with sunburn for years because I bought him an all-in-one suit when he was a preschooler, now he wears rash guards with jammers or swim trunks.
I think it looks cool when girls wear these too. We used to see them all the time in our beach town.
-
We are coming up on 25 years and we know each other well. I've known him for 27 years. We have been through a lifetime together with all the usual bumps and bruises.
Thinking positively about the relationship and actively seeking things to improve it, i.e., making time for walks in the evening (looking forward to that during the day), learning something new together like a hobby - we are contemplating kayaking, is essential for me. Attending church together or participating in church programs, talking about what we like and don't like, agree/disagree with is important.
Our ds is gone now and we are actively working on making this next stage of life our best one yet.
As far as day-to-day emotion goes: Seeking connection and feeling connected to each other, making time for things he is interested in even if I am not because I know he does it for me.
Don't know if I answered your question.
Nicely said.
Yes, treat each other like you like each other. The ebb and flow of "romance" is part of the journey, but it's wonderful to be with someone who knows you as well as your spouse does and still surprises you, is your best friend, shares with you. You may hit a period of time when you ask, "wow, is this it? is this all there is?" and then you turn a corner and your heart flutters at the sight of him, or he does something really generous or he's just awesome with your kids, then you know what you've got together is good.
It's not always easy, but it's important. Kind of like when one of your kids is going through an unattractive patch (behaviorally), you try to look at him/her with eyes of love. You do the same for your spouse.
I probably haven't answered your Q either, but this is what has worked for us.
:001_smile:
-
My dd will be getting her braces on in a couple of weeks, and she's thinking about color choice. So far, shocking pink is at the top of the list. If you have a kid with braces, did they get the colored ones? Were they happy with their choice later, or did the novelty wear off? How did they look? Does age matter (dd is 14yo)? Of course I'm leaving it up to her, and I tried not to look like :blink: when she told me, but secretly I'm thinking it sounds atrocious. Tell me I'm wrong and that she'll look adorable. :tongue_smilie:
:lol: We've had young friends get these -- all kinds of colors. Sometimes seasonal, sometimes for a favorite sports team, school colors, you name it. If it makes the discomfort of braces a little more bearable for dd, I agree with you -- let it be her choice. (maybe not day-glo....!)
-
*I* wouldn't answer those questions. Why should my child?
If I remember correctly, we had a similar survey sort of thing in 10th grade.
The truth? Everyone lied.
The kids who hadn't done much of anything, admitted to a bit so they wouldn't feel weird, the kids who had done things, either added more (mostly the guys) or subtracted a bunch so people wouldn't know. It was a joke.
It might be anonymous but it gets people talking and comparing notes.
Dc are just shy of this age range. No way would I want them having this kind of survey. No doubt some kids will be unaware of some of the acts, etc., described so this just puts images in their heads. We can't "acquaint" kids with sexual information and then be horrified when they're oversexualized at younger and younger ages.
ok [/rant] This stuff just makes me sad for the children involved. I would be very suspicious of any real benefit it's supposed to bring.
-
You need to stick with it--the ending will put some things into perspective.
That said, it is harsh and violent.
Not sure how to address your issue about the Japanese except to say that while they were clearly brutal during the war, that is hardly the fault of their descendents 60 years later . . .
I saw the man interviewed a few months ago. Amazing story, amazing perseverence. If you're in the midst of the war scenes, some of the best is yet to come.
There's a documentary coming out concerning the Rape of Nanking that I just read about. The review said it's very well done, but obviously the subject is the systematic brutalization of Chinese by the Japanese during this period.
So many millions of people died in the 20th century. It's not easy reading or listening, but it's important for us to know the history....I'm old enough to remember some of it. : (
-
Idaho, Idaho, we're so proud of Idaho
We come from North and South and East and West
To mention all of the things that we love best
about Idaho...
hee hee hee
a
Seen the youtube "50 states in 2 minutes?"
Could be subtitled insulting all 50 states with catchphrases, but it's bitingly funny.
-
At the beginning of each year, I thought hard about where we wanted to be by the end of the year. Then i found the materials that would get us there. Then I took the materials and divided them into 6ths. Then I planned 6 six-week sessions. Each session got divided into 5ths, so the 6th week we had "slop" time to catch up. Between each session was a week OFFFFFFF. The 4th week of any session, I gathered what I needed for the upcoming session. This was the very best planning I ever did, and it worked super well for keeping us on track, and for MY feeling that we had indeed accomplished something. That saved my son from getting totally piled on because I was a worry wart.
Eg. If a history book had 36 chapters, we had to cover 6 chapters per session. I'd divide those into 5 parts, with a week for slop so we could catch up.
If a math book had 120 lessons (pretty typical), in six weeks, I had to cover 20 lessons. That meant 4 lessons a week (because I divided by 5 to allow the 6th week for slop).
Slop covered things like dental appointments, stubbornness, laziness, playdate opportunities, and so on.
This is exactly like what my dsil did when she was homeschooling and for the same reasons as you list here.
Thanks for reminding me of this, I'm going to start some pre-planning soon and this will give me a framework.
I'm definitely finding that as they get older, the planning has to be more purposeful to actually finish at the end of the year.
-
But that is, in effect, creating a worse situation. Should an individual choose to have the procedure they would be forced to have it at an age where the pain, suffering, recovery, procedure are all greater and more complicated. The effect of demanding such a choice is to actually remove the element of reasonable choice.
Plus-this is also indirectly telling parents that they are not competent to make medical decisions for their children. That a vote by the general public has the ability to and precedence in determining what choices parents may make for their children. The present system allows for choice and options-the proposed alternative restricts choices both directly and indirectly.
:banghead:
Can't keep doing this to myself.
LOL You're right.
There are cases where a days-old infant's circumcision has gone wrong. But the huge majority of them are very quick and painless. Delaying this til a boy is a teen or adult does make it much more of an issue for the procedure and the recovery. And there in lies the persuasion, I suppose.
Using alarming language with coy disclaimers to be "accurate" are disingenuous. And quite dismissive of the religious significance that many are observing.
-
I have been searching the archive (and the net) on prolonged cycles.
I have never had this happen before. I started on the 27th - same day we took a 10 hour bus ride to Paris. On the long bus ride home I started to feel sick and couldn't eat for 3 days from nausea. I hate, HATE being nauseated.
Saw the news about all the e-coli here in Germany and wondered if I had it but after 3 days I was able to nibble on some bland foods and feel better.
My cycle slowed, almost left, but then got heavier. Today is day 15.
Should I be worried or is this normal for someone in mid-forties? I am thi king maybe menopause ... Absolutely no chance of preg.
I know, way too much tmi but I trust responses here. Thank you!
Research perimenopause.
Hormones start wrecking havoc with your system way before actual menopause. For some, it's a prolonged and quite inefficient shutdown of the reproductive cycle. Some symptoms -- vertigo, disorientation, indecision, "out-of-body" feelings, shorter/more intense cycles and flow -- besides the traditionally mentioned hot flashes, weight gain and mood swings. There are holistic "remedies" that help alleviate the highs and lows, but mostly it's about managing the changes. Amberin and similar drugs do help some women.
I've had friends go through menopause in their mid-late 30s all the way through mid-50s. But mid-40s is about when many start to experience perimenopause.
Good luck.:001_smile:
-
The reasons are not "close" at all. Female Genital Mutilation removes the clitoris. Sexual pleasure is destroyed.
Male circumcision does not destroy sexual pleasure or the male sex organ. They have no commonality. I also abhor FGM and have worked on projects (with a friend who was a victim of this practice) to raise consciousness on the issue.
Conflating the removal of a male foreskin with removal of a woman's clitoris makes the efforts to combat FGM all the harder. These two things are not remotely the same.
Bill
Thank you.
-
To call circumcision a form of child abuse is about as insulting as it gets. Parents who circumcise their sons aren't abusing them. What next-arrest everyone who leaves town to have it done as soon as they cross some border when returning home? Asylum in Oregon for circumcisers?
:blink:
Totally agree with you here. How do we leap from a quick minor procedure for a newborn, often based on religious belief and/or long-term health implications
to child abuse???
Beyond. the. pale.
ktgrok, your advocacy for a particular viewpoint is quite clear. But others have a different pov that is equally valid for them, no need to be so adamant that all accept your pov.
In fact, if you google SF's proposed ban of circumcision and comics, you'll see the anti-Semitic nature of the proposal, at least from one perspective. It's ugly. For those that do so due to religious belief, this is important to them, not whimsy or the current vogue or whatever.
-
Well, unless you're under law that requires it, it's an elective surgery. I believe that it's more serious than most realize, and would only have it if I were of Jewish descent.
Can't believe people routinely cut off a portion of their child without weighing the choice.... There are many different things to think about...
;)
It's my understanding that there is circumcision in Christian and Muslim families as well as Jewish.
Calling this procedure, which is done shortly after birth, "cosmetic" or merely to follow the father's wishes, is somewhat uninformed wrt the significance of the ritual.
Regardless, we definitely believe it's the parents' decision.
Sadly, the San Francisco initiative has taken a definitely anti-Semitic turn recently when one of the pro-ban groups published a comic.
-
And there's that tricky little point too. I'm not sure 8 year old Thai prostitutes have EVER committed the crime of prostitution. As a matter of fact, I'm sure they haven't.
But every $%#%$# john of any race who has "visited" one sure as heck has, in my opinion.
Or the Costa Rican boys.... :sad:
There are however many women who will use their children in very vile ways to get what they want -- a relationship, drugs, money ....
Evil is evil and is not biased by sex/gender, religion, race or ethnicity -- regardless of Elizabeth's skewed experience and unkind generalization. Several of my acquaintances are strong and moral men who, as prosecutors and judges, have brought women to account for their abhorrent treatment of children.
-
There is no defense for the comments and you are wrong there was no caveat about only referencing some men. The statement said that this is GENDER REALISM so we are all being thrown into the same group.
As for me, I prefer discussing things with my kids and making that a part of our future life to thinking it will never happen to MY son.
And if men want to not be "condemned" for their gender, then might I suggest not Twittering your peepee or raping the girl who lives next door?
:blink:
I am not getting this line of thinking at.all.
I certainly talk with my children about being decent to people, respecting girls and having good morals and actions. Dh and I correct their words and behavior when they're off-track. But I can not imagine looking at them and seeing future rapists.
Your last line. WTH? The eponymous Congressman was engaging in that behavior. As to the second part -- who are you talking to? The small group of men who frequent this board better take heed of this warning, I guess.
:confused: :glare:
The word "frick'in"
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Same here. Dc aren't exposed to many swear words normally (I've changed my ways .... ;) ) but we don't allow the substitutes that are a short step away from the really vulgar terms, and that includes freakin' and frickin,' for us.
I remember the first time I heard a 4 yo exclaim, "what in the heck ...?!" Each family makes their own choices, of course, I just knew that I didn't like hearing that from one so young.