I KNOW what you mean. :) It is a relatively new name for one of those ambiguous things that everyone knows exists but doesn't know how to define. I think the definition is still fluctuating. To my understanding the child asking the question aggressively is still 'just' asking a question. He is not physically hurting the other child nor is he is shoving them and saying get out of this playground you don't belong. If you tell his parents to make him stop they could still claim he was just curious and was not hurting anyone.

I think it is a valid example of microaggression as we have been discussing. There are varying degrees of intent, rudeness and emphatic-ness. Possibly this one just struck you as more 'real' than the other examples. I would say microaggression could be called outright rudeness but it includes more than that.

Don't be sorry. ha - that might be a micro-agression since I am telling you how to feel - :) I am glad you posted about it, some viewpoints have been shared that I had not heard before. New information is always valuable.

Question 1) Sure no problem. Let's hypothetically say I am talking to my dad. He is in his late 80s he is kind, honest and generous, I love him a lot (those are not hypothetical :) he really is a good dad) However, he has a few outspoken assumptions that could easily be considered micro-aggressions. He would probably think the word 'micro aggression" is to new-age/politically correct. I would simple use the term 'rude', even though it is less precise. Question 2) I doubt it. I can't speak for anyone except myself. I think I have adequately expressed that I am aware many of the people that use micro-aggressions are not aware of them, I have also specified that I would only point it out to someone gently in the 'you probably don't mean this the way it sounds, just letting you know' manner. People can in fact be insulted whether insult was intended or not. People feel what they feel. They are responsible for how they respond. They can choose to ignore it or explain why it they felt insulted.

sure, why not? :) I guess accusing someone of microgression could be a microagression. It doesn't make it any less real. I think (hope) most people can tell the difference between conversational chit chat and aggressive speech. Maybe not. There I times I can't tell when someone is being sarcastic. Honesty, sometimes I have to ask. If I am doing something that hurts or bothers other people I would prefer to they tell me (gently of course). :)

Very good illustration. It isn't so much about whether you mean to insult someone as it is about what you choose to do when someone points out that what you said 'could' be insulting. Do you blow it off with an "I didn't mean it THAT way" or acknowledge it and say "I never thought of it that way, I am sorry"

Yes! this! It is a good example of how the 'merit' statement can be a micro-aggression. Is it always an aggression? of course not. Can people tell? sometimes yes, sometimes no. I used to use a very similar 'best person for the job' remark every now and then. A friend pointed out what it sounded like. I appreciated the clarification and try to speak more clearly now.

I would not worry to much about the 'where are you from?' question. People can usually tell. :) However, it does not hurt to lead with information about yourself so that it feels like a conversation not an attempt to excude.

I am glad these behaviors now have a name. :) It could be helpful when you are trying to explain why something that seems innocuous really isn't. There have been times when I have tried to explain why something is occasionally* an insult and I have been told that I am to 'touchy' 'sensitive' 'it's just a joke' 'I didn't mean anything by it". etc. *occasionally, because sometimes "where are you from?" is just a conversation opener and sometimes it isn't. Usually I can tell which is which but there are times I have to be blunt and ask what they are after. :) Like any new term for an amorphous concept it will take some time to work out a shared meaning. Unfortunately there will always be some people on both ends (pro and anti) who will be obnoxious about it.

I was going to recommend this one. We used to read it during the Christmas season. We stretched it over a week of bedtimes and ended on Christmas eve.

It is bigger than facebook. Micro aggressions are real but can be difficult to pinpoint in our own behavior. When someone asks a seemingly innocent question like "where are you from?" it could be a simple question or it could be a way to subtly say 'you don't belong here, you are different, I need to peg you into some kind of slot' Because they are simple and seem harmless some people deny they are a form of aggression or prejudice. I have been the new kid on the block a few times in my life and sometimes the example above "where are you from?" is meant as an insult and a way to tell you you don't fit in. The only problem is that when you object you are often told you are over-reacting or misunderstood. Other micro agressions examples could be telling someone 'you are good at math for a girl' , 'I thought all Christians believe xxx" or "YOU are an honor student!?" (to someone who does not fit the standard perhaps too pretty, too interested in sports, too tatooed, etc). Most can be read as an insult, not all people intend them as such but the folks who hear them are usually tired of them.

did it

My oldest daughter can not touch a cotton ball. She has actually knocked on her neighbor's door (apartment building) to ask them to remove the cotton from a bottle of ibuprofen because she could not get the pills out without touching it. :mellow:

I missed having an 'other' button. I did not grow up hearing people call their Grandparents by nicknames. They were Grandpa Smith or Grandma Jones. I did not have a nana, nor did my friends. We also did not have pop-pops or meemaws etc. :001_smile: Just regular old boring Grandmas and Grandpas

hmmm? I don't have any vintage dishes... but the rest? oh yes. Books, Yarn, Fabric, Books about Yarn and Fabric. :)

This was going to be my suggestion. A few years ago I started a compost bin and a tiny garden. I did not grow enough food to make a budget difference but noticing how much waste went into the compost bin (or trash for meat based waste) was a huge wake up for me. I don't know if that applies to you but I see a tremendous amount of food waste now that I started to look at it. Lots of good advice here. Best luck to you.

Your poll needed one more option- the yes I can drive a stick with confidence :auto: I learned with a stick and drove many city and highway miles in the mountains. Of course this was also back when your clutch foot also needed to operate the high beam button on the floorboard. :P Juggling all four pedals (if you count the high beams) makes you learn efficient foot work. ha

with the caveat that I acknowledge the questions are more complex than yes/no - I will do my best 55, female, Christian 1 - Yes 2 - No but they should 3 - No 4 - Yes 5 - Yes with qualifications 6 - income inequality, lack of manufacturing base hope that helps :)

I voted Christian don't think it is a sin. The current conflation of "Christian" "Republican" "Conservative" has done great harm to both Christianity and Conservative politics.

the bolded is exactly how I feel. I deeply enjoy studying the Bible, but find fewer and fewer 'hills to die on' as I go.

I am not sure how typical I might be in this discussion but I am a Christian (and devout Bible reader :001_smile: ) and I have absolutely no problems with gay marriage or relationships. There are two important aspects here, the equality of civil rights and the religious ritual. For me there is no question that Christians should support laws applying equally to all and should argue on behalf of those who do not receive legal protections. As far as the religious ritual itself, I don't think it any different than any other spiritual issue. I know my sins. I do not know that LGBT lifestyle is a sin. The more I read, study, pray the less black and white the world seems. The only true bedrock is grace, truth, and God's love and our need to get through this life together. I think the harm done by the political and religious in fighting greatly outweighs the harm of same sex relationships.

I take it occasionally and it does wonders for my sleep. However, I have to agree on the 'bad trip' description. :lol: I started with 10 mg but had to many 'bad trips' and reduced it to 5. Now I just nibble on half of a 5 and that gives me the right level of sleep. :laugh: I guess it was just a matter of sensitivity and personal reactions.

Life just is.... Sometimes our responses and attitudes make a difference, sometimes they don't.

no, not generally hostile

Toaster 'Verse in the Avengers fandom on Archive of Our Own. humor, mostly gen, mild slash -