[unromantic gifts]

I made it clear to my DH early on that household appliances and kitchen tools are household contributions and can be valuable as such - but I do not consider them personal gifts.

Tell your DH that it's great he bought new pans for your household, and tell them you what you want for Christmas.

I find that expecting men to be mind readers does not work particularly well, but telling them directly is quite effective.

 

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

I love kitchen stuff for Christmas, as long as it is high end.  I tend to buy the low price option when I buy stuff for myself so when dh gets super nice cutting boards, or saute pans for me I really love them. I cook every day so nice cookware makes me happy. I could care less about perfume, jewelry, etc. 

 

I had to finally tell one of his aunts to stop correcting him when he bought nice houseware for me.  :lol:  :lol:

[What is something that you have stopped doing that has made your life better?]

Stopped:   Watching television - I don't miss it at all.

                  Also stopped attending a church that drained my joy.

                  Stopped worrying about keeping a perfect house. 

 

Started:      Taking classes in things I was interested in. 

                   Started working a small seasonal job that was completely different from anything I had done before. 

 

 

[What is something that you have stopped doing that has made your life better?]

Stopped:   Watching television - I don't miss it at all.

 

[Opioid crisis - pretty remarkable whistleblowing story by ex-DEA agent...]

The saddest thing I ever saw was when my grandmother was alive about 10 years ago and was living in a rent controlled apartment complex for seniors. Her next door neighbor was an 86 year old woman who was sweet as pie. She and my grandma would hang out together. However, her social security benefits were so low that she couldn't afford the basics so she would get her pain pills and sell them to local addicts. I was stunned. It was how she was affording to eat and keep her cable. It was beyond eye opening to me. Some of the people buying from her were her nursing staff too. It was crazy.

 

She is not unusual. It is an open secret around college campuses that senior citizens will sell their meds for cash.

[S/O oldschooling--creating a lifestyle]

I don't know.  Honestly, I struggle with this myself because I think of 'lifestyle of learning' peeps to be the kind that are driven "unschoolers", weaving in a curriculum effortlessly to their day.

 

That's not us.  That's not anyone, I think, except those lovely fictional families who exist only in fairy tales. :lol:

 

So I don't know.  I have times I thought maybe we were getting there.  When my youngest was 4 or 5 he was doing school prep.  We had a strong geography theme where we learned about different cultures and places on the map and food..I managed to tie it in with specific festivals and art exhibits around town.  I did all his motor skill work through that, lots of art and listening to folk tales/acting them out.  Anyway, one of my friends said something about him doing school and he was horrified.  "I don't DO school!  I play!"  :laugh:

This year is harder, but I think we are moving into a 'culture of learning'.  We spend our off time visiting places and learning new skills, pushing out of our comfort zone.  This weekend he went ice skating for the first time and fell on his arse more than he stood, but he kept at it for a solid hour with encouragement.  The kid is 7 and knows how to google just about any tutorial he wants.  We visit the library weekly and have a book basket for independent reading.  There is no shame in dad or I not knowing the answer - he's pretty outgoing anyway and would rather just ask people who are in that field.  Dinner is either classical music that is debated over or a spirited conversation about.......anything.

 

OTOH, we also spend a lot of time relaxing. :laugh: There is no shame in hanging out on the couch with a bowl of popcorn to watch Wonder Woman or cooking together in the kitchen.  

 

While I was writing this, this article came to mind.  I think if anything has to do with creating a lifestyle of learning, this is it. The Power (And Peril) Of Praise.

 

I am an oldschooler I guess. My girls are both grown and out of the house now. We homeschooled from K through High School (with Dual Enrollment).

 

We were unschoolish, I think it was called eclectic back then. 

 

I did a lot of reading and planning what material to cover but we allowed the lesson plans themselves to develop naturally around what we were doing. 

 

The big turning point for me came from reading Alfie Kohn's "Punished by Rewards".  I was not planning to respond to this thread until I saw your mention of the peril of praise.  :001_smile: 

 

 

 

[Anyone make their own rosemary and/or oregano oil?]

I like infused vinegars and oils but oils can be super tricky. There is a high botulism risk for home canning so it is better to store in the refrigerator and use quickly.

[As a woman would you use a single stall men's bathroom?]

Yes I would and I have. 

[Any home brewers here? Help me get set up?]

I hope you get some good ideas. I have been wanting to try this myself. 

[Who's not homeschooling anymore but still hanging out? ;-)]

I pop in and out of following the boards.  My youngest children is now in grad school. ha ha ha

 

[S/o reading thread, do you do crosswords or other mind games??]

I love sudoku! My favorite "author " is Will Shortz. I will do multiple pages every night and fall into a puzzle zone. Ha

[Like Ender's Game but for Younger Kids?]

White fox by Gary Paulsen. Actually most books by Paulsen.

[Need Ideas for Organizing Hair Bands]

hair bands

I had an eighties hair band flashback when I saw the title of the thread. Ha sorry I have no idea how they were organized

 

 

( Google van Halen or def leopard )

[S/O: Lies I Told People]

I just want to look, I don't need any more yarn.

[Lies People Told Me]

That's a great one. No doctor has listened to me. I mean REALLY listened.

What? Wait, wait they are supposed to listen to me? Are you sure?

[Lies People Told Me]

If you just teach them to enjoy reading, they will educate themselves starting somewhere around middle school and you won't be the teacher anymore.

 

If you do Lamaze, labor won't hurt much. You just breathe through it.

 

We live in the greatest nation on earth.

 

That last one. ..yep

[Lies People Told Me]

Stay home with your children, you can always go back to work.

 

I am very glad I stayed home and home schooled them. But I wish I had planned career reentry better (or planned at all). :)

[How do you stay happy, with all the negativity?]

I agree with the "no live news" also absolutely no Fox news. One good source is the AllSides website. They aggregate news from left, center and right sources and show stories side by side.

 

I also do a lot of volunteer work, and the world seems less hopeless when you feel involved.

 

I pray and study the bible.

 

Finally, I read a lot of history for perspective . This is no where near the worst of times . No where NEAR it.

[Modern music for an old fogey]

Ben Folds

 

[When someone is upset and they say hurtful things...]

My husband habitually became angry and said awful things.  I thought he was a nice guy who turned into a jerk when he was mad.

 

Actually he used anger to manipulate and control.  His mean words were verbal abuse.

 

 

Yes, this is what I was talking about.  I have warned my girls to avoid people who make a pattern of saying deliberately hurtful things and then blaming the hearer for being hurt by things 'I didn't really mean."

[When someone is upset and they say hurtful things...]

Most of my relationships are easy going, supportive and not given to arguments or angry words, so this does not come up very often.

 

But when it does, I believe that when people allow strong emotion to override their normal filters and the things they are say are closer to the truth than they would normally admit.  

 

They might normally phrase it differently or moderate it with a few qualifiers but I think words in anger are usually what they really feel.

 

I have zero patience for people who say horrid things and then claim they did not mean it they were just angry.  Nope, dude, it came from somewhere. 

 

I have wished I could tell myself to ignore those things but they linger. 

 

 

eta:  I am not talking about people being stressed and snappy.  I understand a lack of tact.  I have said things that later I wished I had phrased differently.  

 

I am talking about people who say hurtful things and then think they can erase it all with 'I was angry".  I have warned my girls that friends (or boyfriends) who make a pattern of doing this are borderline abusive and it is best to let them go.  (I am not talking about a normally kind person having a bad day)

 

[How old were you when you became a mom?]

I got married at 19 (dh was 21), but waited to finish college, begin careers and get established. We were not in any rush.

 

We had our first daughter (Opera Girl) when I was 32 and our second daughter (Art Girl) at 34. 

 

My mother was 30 when I was born and my grandmother was 30 when my mom was born.  Long generations just seemed natural. 

 

 

[Does this town exist?]

Green Cove Springs in Clay County.  Close to Jacksonville.  Still a rural agriculture area.  Small town, the park next to Town Hall has a spring fed swimming pool that runs off into the St Johns river.  County seat for Clay County.  

[Just for Fun...What was your very first date movie?]

The first movie my dh and I saw while we were dating was Taxi Driver.  We saw it at a drive-in.  All we remember was that we didn't like the movie very much and spent the whole time talking and eating popcorn.   :)

 

[Help! Gift suggestions for a girl who likes to draw and sew]

I would suggest an embroidery kit or sewing kit.  Not the toy like ones you see in Walmart.  Joann's has some nice starter kits that include instructions and the basic supplies and tools for knitting or embroidery. 

[So disappointed in American politics]

I find the national political system depressing.  I do feel some inspiration from local issues and have decided to focus my interests there.