I believe it means not to fight the aging process, but to embrace it. Personally, after my 40s I stopped dying my long hair and cut it to a near-pixie, leaving me completely silver haired. Mental state is paramount. Being happy and content with who you are and not becoming grizzled or bitter by life goes a long, long way towards aging gracefully.

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I had cancer 10 1/2 years ago, I was pregnant at the time...my phone rang off the hook after every single Oncologist appt. I wouldn't take the calls right away because I really needed to process the incredibly negative information they were giving me....like recommending that I have a complete hysterectomy with my baby still in the womb.:eek: I was about 24-26 weeks at the time. Oddly, I found that nearly all the calls were people who would be upset/emotional and I would have to encourage them and help them handle the whole thing. One woman even became angry at me when she had to wait until the next day for me to return her call! When I explained the delicacies of the situation she told me in no uncertain terms that, "if you don't feel like talking, then you should have put ALL the information on your answering machine so that whoever called would still be able to get it....because we care about you." :001_huh: Bull-pucky. Since then, here's advice I've given to friends and family of someone with cancer: It's not about you, don't expect the immediately affected family to think about you or your feelings right now. This is not the time for that. Times like this can be incredibly frightening, and monstrously negative. Dr.s don't hold back...they often focus on what can go bad. It's their job. It can be difficult to just not expect to die. Seriously. Depression is always a spector looming in shadows waiting for the weak. In fact, if you've heard the cancer news through someone else, rather than the afflicted family...then you can bet that they are personally withdrawing right now...they may have even told family members not to inform people so as to avoid the rehashing of negative information over and over...it's a cocoon of sorts....call it "taking care of Numero Uno". Send a card instead, with promises to pray for their strength and health, that you love them most dearly and that they can always look to you for hugs and support. If they're nearby, drop off a meal to put in the freezer for when their not feeling up to snuff, etc. Clean their house, pick up laundry and return it clean & folded. This is a time to let your love for this person to show itself in a practical, selfless way. You will never regret it, and they will never forget it.

OK, so....I'm an introvert. That sits fine with me. I guess my weakness is that I get "moldy" if I am alone too much. Instead of feeling peaceful, I'll get down...I guess that's loneliness. The other weakness is that I have to be coerced into leaving the house sometimes. That's not good either. I can really dig in my heels to any type of activity that requires a weekly commitment...those are the worst! I can greet a one-time field trip wih a big smile on my face, but I get really cranky when the kids want to sign up for anything weekly. Is this what you're talking about?

I'm confused.:001_huh: I am very talkative, but I also need alone time, every day. Most people peg me as an extrovert because I do talk alot...but what they don't know is that I tend to dread social gatherings, unless it is soley comprised of my closest friends. I can stay home up to 10 days at a time, but the kids usually require that I leave the house once or twice a week. Anybody here know what I am?

This is not new, I know...but I know I have never heard that in church! :glare: Yep, they're just apples that didn't fall far from the tree... :crying: Of course, you don't have to go to church to believe either one.

...That would make you an organized extrovert. :D

Is she ADD/ADHD? If so, I'm a Chatty Cathy. I know it, too. I am ADHD...not offered as an excuse, but a medical fact. I've been the offender in so many situations, I cringe to think of it. I'm not trying to be selfish, I'm just "in the moment" and hyper-focused on the visit. Common sense, and nonverbal social skills often elude us, especially when we're "focused"...which is another medical fact. We do NOT respect clocks for the most part...you will have to do it, because it matters to you. Please, take control and cut off the visit at an acceptable time for you, especially if you expect to become trapped or inconvenienced, OR resentful. She'll have to bear it if she wants to be your friend because she'll eventually lose you if you don't...or worse, be avoided...which is akin to rejection. :crying: I think it's more important that you protect your time so that you two can remain friends. After a couple of times (or possibly more ;)), she'll eventually make the connection and become easier to get rid of. You may even become able to joke about it together someday.

:chillpill:...maybe they don't like it, or believe in it. No need to challenge, it's not your call. I am a christian, btw.

:thumbup: Mine certainly were/are!

Praying for Ben...and his mommy.

:lol:

:iagree:

I don't know....I was hoping you could show me the way.:001_huh: But...your heart attitude is in a good place, so just share what you shared here. If he's ashamed, don't feel guilty, that's just the consequence of his thoughtless joking. You'll be a gracious and forgiving, yet hurting mom who will speak up for all those on the short bus. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I think you'll be an awesome spokeswoman.

First time, you say? Ha!...man, are you gonna be overwhelmed! I won't make it worse by making any suggestions. :001_smile:

My shoes say, "this lady lives in a small town far away from anywhere of consequence....so she buys her shoes at Shoe Show, Walmart, or Kmart." :glare:

nm/double post

...and don't forget the older mamas who share their husbands antiquity! uh, that would be me.

How beautiful. I raised a sparrow in my teens. We weren't nearly as adoreable though. :D

Weird how I can connect your situation to your avatar/name. I have been so fond of the name you picked...it sounds so warm, tender, and loving....and also being the mom of 4browneyedboysANDgirls myself (2 of 6 have blue eyes, like their mama). So...that aside, how could she do that to one of your browneyedboys? The nerve. She should offer you a discount on next year's lessons...or I'll never speak to her again...in fact, consider it done.

I stay, or husband stays, it's the right thing to do.

My chickens know where home is, for sure. They do free range during the day, but always come home. Guinea fowl are supposed to be excellent tick removers...AND they're homely, call it a two-fer. :D http://www.guineafowl.com/fritsfarm/guineas/

:bigear: Post it here, please!

FYI, I'm just about halfway from 50 to 60. I fight for energy...we've started juicing just to aquire the endurance each day requires from us, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It definitely helps all three...alot. I had my first baby in my teens, and the last baby at 43. See my siggy. :tongue_smilie: P.S. OhElizabeth- you're still young, it's just that it gets so much harder as you go. How's that for encouragement? :lol: I must add that my oldest is actually 3 years older than you...but I learn so much from you, and others on this board.

I really hoping you find the help you're looking for. :grouphug: Your situation is out of my league. The least I can do is give you a "bump".