I hope the next appointment goes better. It is very frustrating what insurance will pay for and what they won't! This may be entirely irrelevant to your situation as it sounds like there is some family history, but I'll share this experience in case it helps... when our son got an MRI someone suggested I talk to the anesthesia nurse ahead of time. He told me that what they often use for kids with MRIs (I believe it was maybe phenobarbital) has some kids flipping out and terrible to deal with. He suggested instead that we get propofol. Apparently that's not the first thing they order because it requires an anesthesiologist, but it worked really well for our child. For the actual eye muscle surgery they gave Versed as the get them calmed down (or "drunk" as they put it) and even with a double dose it had absolutely no effect, but the actual anesthesia was fine. The eye muscle surgery was fast and the recovery was easy. So, if the anesthesia part an be worked out, maybe it would help.

Is it certain that he is getting eye muscle surgery? I'm wondering if it might make sense to push that up and see where he is at that point to plan from there. What sort of provider did the insurance refuse? Some insurance that will turn down vision therapy will pay for an OT who specializes in vision.

http://www.nationalmerit.org/steps_nmsp.pdf Most semifinalists will become finalists. The numbers are around 16,000 semifinalists and 15,000 finalists. Probably many of the people who don't proceed are students who don't bother to send in the paperwork. He should take the application seriously and make sure everything gets sent in. If he attends school and ends up not making finalist, it may be possible for the principal to make an appeal on his behalf if they want to.

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Well-Spectrum-Challenges-High-Functioning/dp/1606236342 This is a good book. Maybe it would be worth checking your library and see if there is anything you are or your son can work with. Not being willing to disclose or get help is a really rough thing to deal with. What would his response be if as a condition of paying his expenses you required him to see a psychologist who is familiar with AS.

I'm wondering if you were given any next steps or any treatment plan. Were any therapies suggested? Has he had an OT evaluation? I do think it is REALLY tricky to sort out diagnoses for a lot of four year olds and anxiety can look a lot like ASD when it isn't. Sometimes diagnoses are clear cut, but sometimes they aren't. I'm not sure if the word "just" should be used before anxiety. Intense anxiety is really a very significant thing that deserves treatment. One option right now might be to look at something like play therapy and implementing some anxiety management strategies in the home (you may already be doing that). And, then, in time reassess and see how things have changed. Even if he has ASD, the most important thing right now is to treat specific symptoms so I don't think you'll find a lot is lost by starting there. Here are a couple of books you may want to check out.... http://www.amazon.com/Freeing-Your-Child-Anxiety-Practical/dp/0767914929/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322753630&sr=1-1 http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707677

From your description, I think testing would absolutely be a good idea. If you have the option to start with a neuropsych that's where I'd start. Given the family history it would be great to go to someone who is familiar with gifted and 2E kids. I'd be more cautious about starting with any very specific approach like vision therapy, because it may well be that she has mild processing challenges in many areas and getting a big picture to start with would be good.

Just tossing this out... How might it work to at some points in the day have shorter breaks but have them involve some physical activity? For some kids longer breaks are tough because they have to work to get focus back. Especially before a high stress subject (like math) some kids benefit from a shorter period of directed physical activity - like a ten minute run around outside with the dog or a some calisthenics. Anything that will reboot the system a bit.

Great idea. Also, felt boards can be really inexpensive and fun and you may already have the supplies. Basically you take interfacing (called Pellon) and then using a sharpie trace pictures from books and then color in and cut them out. It is not at all hard and it can be fun to do. http://susanlemons.wordpress.com/2010/10/13/felt-board-fun-making-and-using-your-own-feltboard-and-figures/ For grandparents a free but meaningful gift is a memory jar. Just write out memories on slips of paper. It can be anything "the time Susie cut off her bangs" "your chocolate cupcakes" "when you taught me to throw a baseball". If you do 365 they have a memory a day.

Same for me.

This is a good point. This can be a complicated process because you really need a good assessment of your child and those future goals may require quite a bit of revision from what you once imagined for your child. That can be an emotionally difficult process, but it is an important one to guide homeschooling and parenting. On the original posting, it is frustrating that so many people see homeschooling as just keeping kids at home and away from the real world. Does anyone have any thoughts about why this false belief runs so deep? What we've often got from acquaintances is "Oh, you guys are good homeschoolers because you aren't just at home and you are involved in activities, but I still think homeschooling is bad for most kids because they aren't in the real world..." So, when confronted with something that would expunge a stereotype they hold rather than revising the stereotype it seems to just reinforce it.

It depends a lot on your child and if the local options you have available are a good fit with your family culture. But, if you have a social kid and they find friends they click with it can be a time and sanity saver to find people who can swap off for an afternoon play date. Also, there can be opportunities for field trips, concerts, etc. that are tough to arrange for just one family.

One place to start might be with making a list of what are some of the specific concerns you have for him now and in the future. Kids on the spectrum are all different and some kids struggle more with anxiety, some with attention, some with sensory processing, etc. Maybe try to sketch out some specific places where you'd like to see him improve and that will suggest particular interventions. Also, something you may have already thought about... At this point it isn't just about teaching him specific skills, but more about establishing the experience that when he has trouble challenges people can help him. If he has had a positive experience with going to a therapist at age ten it may be much easier to get that going again if he needs it when he's thirteen and possibly struggling more too.

I understand your frustration with the situation and the feeling like the most obvious way to address it is to come down on him. But, as you said, he's got some challenges and it may well be that there is a lot more to his behavior than simple defiance. It doesn't sound like overall he's a kid who seeks conflict or is defiant for the sake of being defiant, so maybe there is value in exploring in more detail why he's behaving the way he is with schoolwork. I can't imagine that he feels good about the situation and while he's not making good choices, I have to wonder if some of that is because he feels backed up against the wall and doesn't really see what his other options are, or if he does he can't pursue them for some reason. As you probably know, for many kids on the spectrum adolescence can be a trying time. For some anxiety, depression and attentional problems get much worse. I'm wondering if there is any possibility at this point that you could bring in any outside help or support.

I may sound like an old timer but especially at age five, I think the biggest part is if everyone his happy, growing and enjoying homeschooling. If you've got that, the rest tend to fall in place really easily. It can be very easy to overthink the subtle differences between curricula and probably a lot of these differences aren't as significant as we think especially for bright kids who learn easily. I encourage you to have the confidence to just pay attention to what's working and what's not and to make adjustments as you see fit. If he's reading well and you don't think you need to do grammar at this point, then don't. Also, if you have not already done so I would encourage you to get involved in your local homeschooling community and to build a network of support. If you are in it for the long haul it helps a lot. All that said, I'm not overall huge fan of the idea of Rosetta Stone for Latin. The immersion method approach to me makes more sense for languages that are primarily spoken languages and for me the purpose of studying Latin is more about reading and grammar. But, he's five and if you own it and he likes it, why not. Down the road if you want another curriculum there are many good options.

I'm terrible at decorating cakes, but have done very well with the powdered sugar method. It looks great.

That is such a lousy experience and we've been there too. It is hard to really get your hope up that you will receive help and then be confronted with incompetence. I'd say there is a real split out there among professionals. We were told homeschooling was the WORST thing we could do and had others say it was the BEST and ONLY option. I hope you will be able to move on to someone else who can be more helpful.

Bless her heart. I hope she survives this trying challenge in her life.

Sounds like a good plan to set it aside and enjoy the holiday. It is great if you can go meet in person (for some reason I misread earlier and thought the college was far away). I think you will get much further in person when they can look at your documents and understand the situation better. I hope you will update us!

How frustrating. Do you know the level of qualifications of the person you were speaking to? The title associate director of admissions is one that typically lots of people in the office have including people who have just been there for a year. I would not take anything you were told on the phone to be the final word. One thing you may want to try is looking on the website or calling to find the person who is actually the director of admissions and then contact that person directly. Mention: that your daughter was a homeschooler registered with the state, that she will submit both a transcript and course descriptions, that she has ACT or SAT scores, and that she has grades from x current institution. I would tell them that you've checked with a number of colleges and that typically a GED is not required so you are wondering if perhaps there is a "miscommunication" when you were given this information on the phone. Actually it would probably be even better if your daughter did this herself if that's an option. The continuing ed status may create some be confusion. Most often "continuing ed" are courses for which a student does not receive college credit. Some schools would call a student taking regular courses but who has not been admitted a "nondegree student". It is worth noting that some college admissions offices will consider a student who has earned any credit after high school to be a transfer student.

If this is too personal feel free not to answer but just out of curiosity, may I ask what level math he had taken prior to college and how much foreign language he'd completed before college. The students I'm seeing who are really in trouble with engineering requirements often went to high school in districts without great math offerings. So, they are coming to college with catching up to do. For homeschoolers if there are able to get foreign language completed, take calc - preferably thorugh calc II or AP-BC calc, maybe take an AP science, they are in really good shape.

The Playmobil 123 barn was a great purchase here. It was one of the favorite toys for a couple of years and then combined nicely with Playmobil so it continued to get used.

8 jars - Hilarious! Good luck.

If he's able to set up new computers and printers, fix minor computer problems, install new software, etc. I suggest that he advertise as a "teen geek". He could advertise through the neighborhood or church. I have encouraged my out of town mom to find someone like this when she needed to get her new computer set up. I know if a teen like this advertised at her church she and her friends would be thrilled to hire them!

Maybe it is a good time to talk to the student about the idea that in some areas of life it may make sense to do the minimum required, but in others it will not. Because something is allowable doesn't mean it is a good choice for you. The minimum standard of being a citizen doesn't require you to be well informed, to vote, or to be involved in your community - but you really should do more than the minimum. It depends a great deal on the individual student and on their needs. For many students with special needs the required minimum of 12 hours will be a stretch. Of course it makes sense to work with an advisor and make plans that fit their needs. My son entered college with a lot of AP and college credit and a four year scholarship and he takes the minimum 12 hour load. One reason he chose this plan was to allow more freedom to take challenging courses, including graduate courses. It can be difficult to really do five or six harder courses justice. Fewer courses has allowed to some extent for a continuation of the homeschool lifestyle including independent study and a pursuit of a lot of interests too. I agree students need to do the math and make a realistic plan!

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