Happy News!! HE GOT IN!!! Thanks for giving me someplace to share. Now we shall see if he decides to go.

Weird quote thing happened when I was replying. Sorry! Thanks for sharing the brand @prairiewindmomma I must say I am quite intrigued by those linen towels you linked to @Corraleno! I like the fact that they don’t have fringe. There are MANY from which to choose as well - thank you!

Are all Turkish towels the same? What should I look for? Do you recall where you bought yours/what brand they are?

We need to replace our towels, and I am wanting something less hefty than what we have now because they take forever to dry. Should I look at Turkish towels? What do I want? I really don’t know a whole lot about towels, but I figured someone here would! TIA!

Recipe, please?

I’m just going to say that the exact opposite has been true for my mil. She became and has remained extremely entitled since turning 80. She made a BIG deal about turning 80. Says her age (now 82) out loud to lots of different folks - “Well, I’m 80 years old!!!” She has gotten much more demanding and selfish. She is not vague/veiled in her communicating at all.

I have a son (who has now been out of college for 3+ years). We established before he left that we wanted a phone call or FaceTime once a week. These were usually on Sunday afternoons, but we were flexible about this depending on our respective schedules. But, once a week. Otherwise I only texted occasionally in between. Less frequently in the beginning of his freshman year to give him space. I also set up a texting code with him before he left and would preface my texts with the following: FYI - this indicated I had something to share that I thought he might be interested in but that NO REPLY was necessary or expected. E.g. - “FYI - Susie Q won homecoming queen!” The FYI preface allowed me to send texts when I wanted to without his feeling any pressure to respond. That way I wouldn’t get angsty if he didn’t. Sometimes he would reply to FYI texts, sometimes not. He also knew he didn’t need to respond to any pics I sent (dogs, snow, etc). ?? - this indicated that I expected a reply within a reasonable amount of time (probably a day). E.g. “?? Do you want me to book you a Super Shuttle to the airport?” “?? Have you filed your state income tax return yet?” POL - (Proof of Life). I’ve never had to use this one, but he knows that if I do he is to respond immediately. Emoji, an, “I’m okay,” something. Right away. I also told him that if there were a major earthquake (he went to college in CA) or other big time issue/crisis to make it his goal to let me know he was okay before I even heard about whatever it was on the news. Since graduating, I have also instituted one more preface: IMN (Incoming Mom Nag) - this indicates that I realize I probably don’t have true standing to be asking him/telling him whatever I am about to write, but I’m still the mom, so I get to anyway. I don’t use this very often, and it’s typically for things like, “IMN - Have you set up a schedule with a dentist?” “IMN - Have you gotten your flu shot yet?” “IMN - It’s your grandmother’s birthday - you might text her.” We still FaceTime once a week, and we probably text more now than when he was in college. I have pretty much dropped the FYI preface because he knows I don’t care if he replies to anything silly/superficial or not. We have a much more natural system of texting now, but I do think the prefaces were helpful while he was in college. I still use occasionally use the ?? preface, however. Otherwise, he might miss something that I truly need to know an answer to. Hope to never need to use POL.

On the restaurant thing. If someone asks me where I want to go, I will usually not offer a specific suggestion but will say what I am NOT keen on. “I’m good with anything except burgers since dh grilled those for us last night.” Because I generally don’t care at all, but I don’t want to eat something or a type of something I’ve just recently eaten.

Part of the inherent problem with communicating via text (or email) is the LACK of tone. Voice inflection can be extraordinarily helpful. “Why do you ask?” can communicate enthusiasm or annoyance if it’s spoken with a certain inflection. Typed out (while neutral) it comes across as harsh to me. Rightly or wrongly, I think, “why,” can put one in a defensive posturing. If you really don’t mind going any day/any time to pick up something your mom needs, then I guess it isn’t an issue. I would be more inclined to text her before you are going anyway and see if she needs anything. I mean, an every once in awhile need is one thing, but I wouldn’t want to set up a pattern of constantly swinging by WM just to pick her up an item or two any time she ask (whether directly OR vaguely). Or, if you always go to he store on a certain day, “Hey, Mom. I usually hit the store on Tuesdays. Please let me know by Monday night if you’d also like me to pick some things up for you while I am there.” Interesting discussion on how other factors (gender, geography, upbringing, etc) play into directness or not. In general, I don’t ask whether people have plans or not unless it is for something really casual or last-minute (which isn’t my style). Usually, I just say, “Can you go to lunch next Thursday?” But, if I were going to approach it that way I’d say, “I made a vat of chili - if you don’t have plans tonight, I’d love for you to join us for dinner. Haven’t seen you in so long, and we have plenty to share!” Or, “A group of us are going to trivia tonight if you want to join us.” So, I think I would always state what I have in mind and maybe tack on the, “if you don’t have plans,” part at the end. I do think you can retrain folks to respond to you as you want them to. Honestly, I’d just have a discussion with her about the vagueness of her texts. Face to face.

I got this for my ds: https://luminaid.com/pages/solar-phone-chargers He likes to camp/hike and attend music festivals.

My bil (who is 18 years old than my sil) has smoked since he was a teen. He’s 78. He has lung cancer. He’s had chemo and radiation. He still smokes. Never quit. Never attempted to quit, even after he was diagnosed. He has a medical marijuana card for his cancer, so he smokes that, too.

Thinking about adding some greenery and pine cones as well, but this is definitively a good start!

I’ve decided to go with birch logs and wrap them with the fairy lights. Thanks for all the ideas!

That is a good point. Though there is a large driftwood coffee table in front of our sectional that is across from the TV/fireplace. Where does everyone get these birch logs?

Do those candles put off much light? I have thought about something like this where I could add some greenery in for the holidays. That fills your space nicely. Are the candles wax even though they are flameless? Do they get dusty? Thanks!

I can’t move the chairs that are to the left, so there would be no way to center a buffet. I also have tons of countertop space to the right of the bar area, so I don’t really need a buffet. I am really wanting something *inside* of the fireplace rather than something in front of it. I use these rags to clean glass/mirrors: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KAJ42GO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I need ideas for something to put in this fireplace that we will never use as such. Right now, there is a grate for holding wood as well as one of those mesh screens that pull closed like a curtain. I can remove those - at least the grate. Would you do fairy lights in lanterns? If so - how many lanterns and what heights/sizes? A plant (would have to be fake)? A sculpture? Faux candles on a candelabra? Our home has a bit of a mid-century modern vibe to it. I don’t want anything that is a booger bear to clean/dust. The shape of the firebox itself is a trapezoid, such that the back is narrower than the front. The back is only about 20” wide while the front is about 28” wide. The depth is around 13”, and the height is 21”.