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unfrumpable.

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Posts posted by unfrumpable.

  1. The mods have to sort it out because it seems that some people simply CANNOT do exactly what you're saying. Personally? I can and do. I've never reported a post that wasn't spam in my life. But clearly there are other people who are reporting posts, and the mods are the ones who have to make the decisions about those reports. We're talking a lot here about what posters should and shouldn't do, but the bottom line is that people are still going to take offense when there's none intended and run and complain to "mom" about it. 

     

    Hmm... that makes sense. So, perhaps the issue isn't necessarily with how the moderation is done, but with those who "tattle" too much?

     

    Though I do agree with many of the suggestions in this thread.

     

    I don't really post much on the main chat board. I like to go there if I have a question that I want a lot of different opinions on. Or, like I said, I may step into a controversial topic and add a snarky comment or two which definitely does not lend itself to being constructive and is mostly done for my own amusement.

     

    I'm still thinking and processing everything that has happened within the past week.

  2. And I think this is what makes the mods' job so difficult. There are going to be people who see someone's posting style as offensive and rude, no matter how polite their words are, and they're going to report report report. But there are going to be other people who simply see that person as being blunt and "enjoying the dialogue." How can the mods sort that out? Their only option is to remove posts by that person because they're being reported repeatedly.

     

    I can think of a couple of people like this, on both sides of the political/religious fence. 

     

    Why should mods have to sort that out? Not to you specifically, but does no one here ever deal with people they don't care for face-to-face? Why shouldn't a person handle online interactions the same way? Walk away, be civil, ignore the person, engage, etc. If someone chooses to engage face-to-face as well as online, they need to be prepared to have their feelings hurt. It happens and I think most of the time it is unintentional. If someone chooses to engage and gets hurt because there are those who don't agree with them, well, I don't think they need a mod to come around and wipe their tears and hand slap the other person.

     

    I am pretty blunt, honest, and not very tactful face-to-face as well as online. I have had people in face-to-face interactions who have approached me at a later time and said they were hurt by the way I phrased things. I usually apologize, as it is not my intent. I just don't see being honest and straightforward as being rude. I know I certainly prefer people to be honest and straightforward with me.

     

    If things degenerate into flat out name calling, then yes, someone should step in. I assume in face-to-face settings that someone would step in as well to try to get things calmed down and those engaged should take a break to calm down as well. Not nice things do get said in the heat of the moment. It is my opinion that just as one's spoken word cannot be erased, the offending posts should not be deleted. It is also my experience that after calming down many people will come back, apologize for their heated words, and be able to continue the discussion in a somewhat civil manner or at least move on and not bring that topic up again for a while.

  3. I agree with Sadie. I don't get into debates much these days because I've BTDT so much over the years that I'm all online debated out for the most part. So, I usually stick with occasional snarky comments. I admit I've posted some comments just to see if I would get any warning points and I never have. I have had a couple of posts deleted, but that's about it.

     

    So I figure certain posters must set off triggers for other posters. I know there are some that post here that make me want to bang my head on the wall, but I usually just move on and I don't report them just because they annoy me.

     

    I have to be honest, I don't think I've ever been on a board where there has been a report button. And I've been perusing message boards since around 1994. Back in the BBS days you were on your own with what you chose to say and to deal with how others responded to it. ;)

     

    I definitely think moderators should not be anonymous. They should be regular, participating members of the community.

  4. I have dense breast tissue too, and have had multiple second looks that have always turned out to be nothing. I refuse to worry until they actually have a negative diagnosis to tell me.

     

    It seems like they need to develop better technology - look at all of this extra testing so many of us are going through for nothing. Ugh.

     

    I've only had my first mammogram this year (I'm 42), but I did have a large mass removed from my breast in 2004. They found it while I was at boot camp. It was benign. I asked to see it after the surgery was done and it looked like the top half of a hamburger bun. So, I don't spend my time worrying, but I do keep up with at home checks.

  5. I have spent many years working as a cashier including a few years at Walmart. I shudder to think of being a WM cashier again. I would not have the patience to deal with the rude customers now. When I worked at Kroger's earlier this year, it was difficult to keep in check with a couple of people. Fortunately, most people are friendly. I find indifferent people to be almost as bad as rude ones. It doesn't take much to at least respond to someone politely saying hello to you. When I worked at a gas station people would come in, throw cash on the counter, and walk out. No hello, no saying how much on what pump, nothing. Just rude. I feel bad for the cashiers when I'm behind someone who doesn't even acknowledge that the cashier exists and is actually another human being.

  6. I'm jealous of all you densely breasted gals :D

     

    That is all.

     

    Good thoughts to you, Umsami, that the mammogram reveals nothing upon further perusal and you're in perfect health :)

     

    Dense breast tissue is nothing to be jealous of. I have it too though my mammogram was normal. I do have to have a mammogram every year and it'll be followed by an ultrasound too, just to make sure.

  7. I don't like the idea of having a separate forum for more controversial topics as some have mentioned. It seems very cliquish to me. I don't see a need to divide a community like that, online or not. 

     

    It's not separating the community.  There are many different forums on here and the community is not separated. I didn't mean a whole other site. Just another sub-forum where one could choose to go or not go, but it wouldn't be moderated like the rest of the board is.

     

    I prefer little to no moderation of message boards myself. I stay here because there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here and a nice, diverse community that I like.

  8. Well, I personally think there should be a separate fight/drama forum where hot topic/controversial subjects can be hashed out with no moderation. I am not a fan of censorship or tattle tailing. 

     

    I mean, really, people say stuff face to face in the heat of the moment as well and there's no moderator to come along and erase what was said. Own your words and if you were a d**k, apologize. Apologizing doesn't mean conceding your point, changing your opinion, or agreeing with the person you disagree with. Or, if you were fine with being a bitch, then let it stand.

  9. Don't get me started about Hayden Christiansen in the final scene of Return of the Jedi. When the movie was over, DH had to listen to me rant for (too many) minutes about the change. Argh!

     

    I may have been a bit upset... but I loved Star Wars as a kid.

     

    I rant about that every time I see it and at other times as well. That really pissed me off. I don't think I'll ever stopped being upset with George, but I still love the Star Wars storyline the best. Yeah, the newer movies were crap, too much CGI added to the originals, and now Disney. I don't hold out much hope for number VII, but I am happy that the original actors are back. And I have loved a lot of the books that have taken place after Return of the Jedi.

     

    My dad watched Star Trek while I was young and it's okay. I only watched the two newer movies because of Benedict. I did like them, but the movies themselves didn't sway me to be a ST fan.

  10. And I've got family who use them who have had horrible experiences with their red tape, including an uncle with terminal cancer who couldn't get care without a diagnosis, which no one in civilian medicine could give him since it was a service-related cancer only 16 other people had ever had. Sure, they do a lot of good work, but a lot of people fall through the cracks, and I know those people, too. That's never been the point of this thread, however.

     

    Huh, my father had service related terminal cancer and was diagnosed via civilian doctors. He didn't get in with the VA until after the link to Agent Orange was discovered. People fall through the cracks in all sorts of situations whether it's government or private. It is terrible when that happens.

  11. Yes, we all know the care is good if you can get an appointment. From family members using the VA, their psychiatric outpatient care is abysmal.

     

    *shrugs* I've never used their psychiatric outpatient care. And although I know the VA has been in the news lately for not having available appointments, that has never been a first hand issue that I have seen or experienced. It would seem, from what I've read, that the number of those who were put in that awful situation was abysmally small compared to the amount of people the VA does see. 

     

    I did have experience with outpatient psychiatric care while in the military though. Things were somewhat mediocre, in my experience, but there was a lot of help available especially for those who truly needed it. I was going through a rough time, but was not so bad off as to require the more in-depth programs and help.

  12. It sounds like that secular society needs to step up, then. Government is the least efficient method of helping people. Ask people who have to use the VA, for example. They have an enormous budget and most of it goes to bureaucratic nonsense.

     

    My father used the VA. After serving two years in the Vietnam war, the VA 100 percent disabled him in 1997 after his cancer was traced to Agent Orange. They covered all medical bills as well as living expenses. My dad passed in 2002 and my mom still receives money every month from the VA. My mom could also receive health care from the VA. My sister received money for college from the VA through my dad.

     

    I use the VA. They paid for my college degree. I've exhausted my GI Bill through the VA. I now receive health care through the VA. Without the VA, I wouldn't have any health care at all right now.     

     

    Is the VA perfect? No. But neither is any large corporation. I hear as many bad stories from people who actually pay for their insurance as I do about those who use the VA.

  13. You can't buy hot food. But you can still buy chicken. Maybe not in the most preferred format. Dh thinks that the stores now sell precooked rotisserie chickens that are in the cooler section of the deli. Since it's not hot it qualifies. I don't know anything about this.

     

     

    This was true when I worked at Kroger (fairly recently) here in Houston.

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