catalinakel
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Posts posted by catalinakel
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You got some great responses here, but your situation reminded me of a poem I read years ago and have always thought of when considering Christmas, especially when thinking about budgets and children. Here it is, and perhaps it will help your heart, despite the lack of funds.
Christmas really isn't about toys,
However much we love them, young and old.
Reductions in the fat of Christmas day
In time restore its vigor and its health.
So let us not display our absent wealth,
Though children should have ample chance to play.
More sweet and joyous music must be sung,
And thoughts of peace and mercy make their way
Silent and uncluttered through the noise.
by Nicholas Gordon
Blessings to you and yours this Christmas.
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Exactly. The world becomes so much bigger for a 14 yo. Constant reminders, schedules posted on walls, sticking to a routine is what worked here. I don't think this possible activity can be blamed for any of it. And don't worry that this is something to "deal with." It's a normal development stage. If you are homeschooling you can probably see why his school performance is suffering. If he is in school, I'd get very involved in finding out about assignments, talking to teachers, etc. And...they are spacey...they really are. They are thinking about so many things (not just that one thing :001_smile:) so their minds are so preoccupied that forgetting things and losing things becomes pretty common.
It will get better. Give it a few years.
Thanks. I've been doing all of this...
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Earning Fs is not normally considered a side effect of m*sturbation. Neither is losing phones/money. If it was, there would be a lot more boys failing starting in 7th grade.
Address the fact that he is distracted and help him work on focusing and taking personal responsibility. THAT is good parenting. Confronting your son because of your own s#xual hang ups is not.
I am trying to figure out how to help him focus and take responsibility. He is a good boy and seems frustrated that he is doing so poorly and being forgetful..So that is the question: How do I help my son to focus when he is so very unfocused and forgetful? There have been tangible consequences, but they haven't seemed to make much difference.
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Thank you all.
I am, indeed, quite sensitive about the subject.
A public forum is not the place to discuss the details of why.
But your assurances are a comfort to me.
Single parenting is tough.
I don't regret my divorce in any way, but
I have certainly come to understand WHY
God hates divorce, at least when it comes to parenting.
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Wait...so if he is indeed masturbating and it has, indeed, caused him to become forgetful and lax to the point of being irresponsible (earning F's and losing important things, like phones and money) I should simply ignore it because of issues I might have with regard to masterbation? Really? This is good parenting? Just ignore the situation?
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Also, I did not immediately jump to this conclusion, and don't have any experience with anyone who has had a healthy healthy sexual adulthood while also having experimented with masturbation as a teen.
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I never claimed to be healthy or normal, did I?
I was asking for help in understanding and dealing with a possible situation with my son.
I would love to talk to someone about these issues, but don't have the funds to do so.
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Ok, this is hard to ask, but my fourteen year old son seems to have lost his ability to remember things and do well on school work. He likes to take long, long baths and showers.....I am beside myself to figure out what is going on with him, and the thought occured that perhaps he has discovered how to, ehem, pleasure himself, which has him distracted...
Anybody have any experience with sons who have gone down this path, which, btw, is a path that was very destructive in terms of my marriage. How on earth do I broach the subject with him without embarrasing the heck out of him. And, trust me, I don't want his father discussing it with him.
Forgive me if I sound judgemental...I am not exactly thrilled at the possibility of my son finding sexual joy with himself(or anyone else, for that matter!) Not for many years!
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Well, it's certainly no vacation! But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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Thank you everyone. God has made me strong. Prayers for her son who is in his first year at Princeton are appreciated, and also my elderly parents who are in shock. Thankfully I live near them and have been able to spend time with them daily and make all the arrangements.
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Bethany, we don't celebrate Easter for the same reasons you have already explained. You are not alone.:grouphug:
Me too.
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Thanks so much, everyone.
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I am making my first trip to Hawaii next week. We will be staying in about the middle of the big island, flying into Hilo. The circumstances of my visit are tragic..my sister passed away in her sleep and we are going to retrieve her ashes and belongings. But I am wondering what to bring in terms of clothing. I live in the desert now, grew up in southern California. Do I need a rain coat? An umbrella? Shoes for rain? Can you tell that desert living has made me unaware of the frequent rain lifestyle. I need to pack lightly for six days, so don't want to bring too much if not needed. Thank you.
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dang. Makes me, for the first time, like city living.
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The end of an era....good thing he had many disciples.
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I filed electronically with H & R Block, got a message saying it would be late, went to the website where you can check and it said no info available, got another message saying it would be way late, then got it via direct deposit earlier than the original date I was told. So there ya go.
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I think that direct selling can be great for certain people. Ask your friend what she does to make it work for her. Are you willing to consistently, persistently do such things? Do you have money you can invest to get started? It costs to get going with such companies. Do you have what it takes? It is not rocket science, but it is not easy to make much money unless selling and recruiting come naturally for you. I think it is important to be really honest about what you are willing and able to do before getting started, because you will not make much money without much effort over a long period of time.
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The book Knowing God I have found to be indispensible.
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What an incredible bunch of committed mommas. Hooray for all you guys! I will be 56 when my two finish college.
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Bitterness which clouds reason.
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Thank you Susan Wise Bauer. These boards are priceless. And thanks for all the help everyone.
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Thanks Kalanmak, but were there trust, and were we able to get on, we would not be divorced in the first place. Yes, it stinks.
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Thanks for the thoughts and advice, everyone. I really appreciate it.
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Thanks Joann and sputterduck. Good to know. Sd, there is no reasoning with this man, despite his mensa status....after fifteen years, I gave up.
If you have a teenager and are age 52+, I need you on this one
in The Chat Board
Posted
I'm gonna be 53 in December, and have a 16 and 14 year old. Single mom. Teach part time, and the kids both go to public high school. My parents are ten minutes away and aging with health issues. I started late and these are my only two, but I love my life now more than anytime. They will be gone soon, so I am enjoying every minute (when not crying because of normal teenager stuff that drives parents nuts!). I am always tired, and take naps regularly...I don't have much of a social life aside from quilting once a month, but, for me, life is great.