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Lily_Grace

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Everything posted by Lily_Grace

  1. We have four questions we ask: -is it morally right? -is it respectful? -is it safe? -is it legal? One 'no' and the problem is nipped in the bud. "Off the couch. Jumping onto it from the bookcase is not safe and disrespects the family things. Down, now." Or, summed up for my 14yo who doesn't need it spelled out: "don't be stupid, bud." We mostly stick to logical consequences. Repeated times of work "forgotten" because he was playing Minecraft = Minecraft disappearing from all devices immediately. Forgetting to wipe the table after a meal means getting to do my chore the next night as a trade (and trust me, dishes are NOT fun from a kid's perspective.) Not checking pockets/turning socks right side out means I'm waking a child up at 6am to use his own money at the laundromat before the Saturday rush. Oh, and after cleaning the gum from my dryer, too. And sometimes I drop it in his lap: "here is the problem, here are the parameters I'm willing to work in, find a solution that works for both of us." Most of the time I want it to teach something, but there are some stages where they just run through without thinking and just need a little nip at their heels. I don't spend a lot of time giving warnings or complaining. I like things to run orderly and everyone needs to be a part of that. Well, except the 3yo. He is still under mommy-mode. But by age 9 my oldest and I had come up with contracts that we wrote together and spelled out daily expectations. We had conferences and I incorporated more of his ideas into what he thought he needed, which led to the above of asking him for how to fix the problem.
  2. I'm using it this year with an 8th grader. Pros - the grammar is gentle, repetitive, building, and interesting. The books are all great. The incorporation of state studies and music/art brings the work to life. There are many optional crafts and recipes. Each unit has recommendations for additional reading for older students, like Civil Disobedience or The Good Earth, to help springboard deeper conversation.. Customer service is wonderful. Cons- The history is lecture form, so we supplement with Jackdaws and links like History Animated to see the different battles. The science is light for an 8th grader, but about right for 5th-6th grade. There are 180 scheduled days, about 175 if you take out the end of unit celebrations occasionally in there. It makes it difficult to finish a year if you have co-op or field trip days. (My kid is old enough we schedule a unit a month, doubling up on a few lessons or skip one if need be).
  3. Learning Adventures. It uses history/historical fiction as a spine and incorporates grammar, spelling, writing, science, fine arts, and geography. It's for grades 4-8 but the first two books have supplements available for 1st-3rd.
  4. If we had been sent to England I considered sending my oldest to Summerhill. It was a school that fell in line with my beliefs about education, and presented it in a way that I could not do at home. It's a free-democratic school. The children choose to be educated or not, the teachers must consider how they present to maximize attendance and make children WANT to attend. I think they start taking kids at age 8 and continue until age 11, after which the mind is set and it's harder to incorporate them into the school. Boarding schools offer a unique experience, just like summer camps do. I absolutely would and do send my child to summer camp - I think it's good to get away from the parents yet be in a structured environment.
  5. We discuss a lot. At this point, I am not "teacher", I am guide and companion. It's my job to keep him (14yo) on track and progressing, it's his job to internalize the material. He's visual/tactile. The more he sees and touches, the better he understands. He doesn't need my lectures or direct instruction. He needs someone to ask the hard questions, to make him think, to make him prove that what he believes is right.
  6. Music, humor, and touch. :) It's the secret. I turned my standards to being 15 minutes away from company ready, 5 minutes away from impromptu guests. It allows me to relax a little about the minor messes. And I've made other rules - like if your books are still out you must want to do school after dinner/on the weekend. You would not believe how fast those books get put away at the end of the day! I touch and ask quietly. A quick squeeze, ruffle the hair, and maybe a silly voice. Let them know they're loved but still set the standards. I take care of me. It's spring. This week I have spent soooo much time outside - building and mowing and riding my bike and taking long walks! It's relaxing for me. When I can't, dh and I start off and end the day with yoga. It melts away the stress and puts me in a better frame of mind. I keep headphones plugged into the computer. I bargain. Having mom do something means the kid must then do something for mom. Tit for tat. And we transition with cards and music. My oldest (14) gets up to me singing (punishment or privilege, has yet to be determined.) My youngest (3) has a stack of index cards showing his morning routine and he picks one at a time at random. Yes, some days he gets snack right after breakfast, but right now, we're just setting what to do without mom standing over him later.
  7. I think it depends. We had culture shock when we moved abroad, and will when we come back. In 5 years, my children have not watched cable, seen a 24 hour store, or kwikimarts or anything else of the like. They've grown up in a small town going to a weekly market, riding bikes everywhere.....current fads are dictated by only what the children can get here, which means every boy-child in the middle and high plays Magic, or just about. They have no idea who anybody on MTV is. Buckwild? What's that? LOL And it's the little things - my son's friend was amazed to discover heating and cooling vents in houses when he went back (after being here for 8 years) but was so disappointed the windows didn't open properly.
  8. We switched away from MUS after pre-algebra - which we supplemented with LOF and HOE to focus more on the different applications and ways of figuring out problems. When looking at upper school MUS, we were not comfortable that the scope of each book went deep enough into the topic studied or expected thinking from the student beyond what was explicitly covered. Currently, ds is in the middle of the AoPS Intro To Algebra text. He has had some struggles but mostly in changing the way he approached math. It went from being spoon fed to needing to dig it out of the ground himself. The first month was miserable, 10 lessons in he's enjoying himself quite a bit. Don't get me wrong - I'm very, VERY glad ds had the foundation MUS gave him! It taught him how to see the abstract math concepts and understand them completely. It taught him to play with math and to think logically. We just outgrew it, that's all.
  9. We're going to Greece, Croatia, and the east Italian coast. I can't wait - I'm so excited! It's my first cruise EVER. Dh and I are so lucky in that not only is everything is sorta local to us, but so is my family. They'll be watching the kids for us. The Man-child was disappointed to not go, but I told him that dad and I waited over 30 years to travel and when he's an adult he can do the same. :lol: Dh did try to put a damper on things, though. Apparently not only are we going, but so is his boss, and his boss's boss, and probably about a half dozen other people we know but don't really want to spend our vacation with. Them's the hazards of going on spring break! They've all been comparing rooms and excursions and who's doing what and ugh! It's like a peeing contest with them. Are you going to the Bahamas? Once we get stateside I'd love to take a cruise to somewhere like that. So relaxing!
  10. I like that rule! :) Due to me assuming the library had the book we needed, and then that Kindle would have it, we have hereby decreed a half-schedule this week. The book will come while dh and I are on our cruise next week and that is just fine. Until Friday we are only doing the fun subjects - math, Word Roots, and science. Everything else can wait. Have fun on your trip! :)
  11. Sounds like you need budget meetings. At least once per paycheck so you two can keep tabs on it all together. Not you and him asking permission, but both of you knowing where you stand. We keep an open budget here. EVERYTHING is out in the open on our spreadsheet except investments. Dh and I can look to see where we're at and where we're going at any point, so if he wants to "watch what we're spending", he's darn well able to. Tab 1 has the budgets for the current and next three paychecks, so we know what's coming up and can plan for it. Tab 2 has our slush accounts: emergency fund, car fund, car repair, vacation fund, house fund.....there are about 10 and not all are being used, but they're all in a month by month running tally block with our goal for the end of the year and long term goal at the end of the row. Tab 3 has our current budget spread out, so we can list how much we've spent in each category and how much is left. There are bills, groceries, and individual allowances so we can spend freely...within parameters. Tab 4 was our running tally of our debts. I keep it around just so I can see how far we've come. I'm the worrywart, dh is not. But if we're not both on the same page we end up off in lala-land and resentful.
  12. You might enjoy the History Channel's the History of Us miniseries. It goes from the beginning (early 1600s) on through - I want to say a total of about 4 hours?
  13. Mind if I join? :) Dh and I are Ramsey followers. What areas have you improved? We've managed to cut back personal spending, at least the frivolous kind. What areas are causing you trouble? Groceries. I will be so glad to get to competitive markets again! Have you figured out anything that helps you keep things under control? Still working on it! What are your goals for April? And long term? Well, by the end of April we want to have 25% of our Emergency/Move fund in the bank, fully funded by August or our actual move date. Long term...dh and I just sat down last night. He finally got a promotion (yay!), and if we keep living how we have been that entire raise can go toward his new vehicle. We just have to keep living as we have been, *sigh*. On the bright side, we're down from living on 100% of his paycheck to living on 60%, with the rest going in the bank. I'll only track our non-budgeted spending here. 4/1 - 4/2 - $6.50 (thrift store - but I found a shirt for the 3yo, book for me, and garment bag that we were needing!)
  14. I'll second the parenting report. I used to keep a journal and write down the situation and my immediate response. Later, I'd come back to write a way I wish I had responded. Parenting isn't easy and changing it is even more difficult. It takes time to relearn habits and techniques. Give yourself permission to screw up along the way. There were some days (months...) I had to work in 15 minute increments - if I reverted to old habits it was fine, because another 15 minutes was starting soon and gave me a chance to 'perform' again. Trying to remember what I wanted to do and doing it could be a little exhausting. I needed to give myself permission. I also needed to reflect on me. Who was I? What are my bad habits? If I was 6, what would I be in trouble for? I couldn't help my kid until I helped me. I needed to give myself conscious acceptance of those bad habits so that I could give grace to others. I needed to work on the more detrimental ones and undertake the task of retraining myself so I understood how hard it is for an impulsive kid starting from the same point. I needed to figure out what I needed on my bad days - when I got angry, I needed a sounding board and a sympathetic ear, maybe a few minutes alone to regroup. I did not need what I offered my child - an "I told you" or time out. I needed to model and vocally affirm those needs so that my child could follow my example. I needed to walk myself through decision making processes and show how I came to that conclusion. I would recommend to any parent, not to read books focused on techniques, but books focused on philosophy and learning to parent in a way that grows with the kids. There are some lovely ones out there.
  15. My list would include both coasts, or if you have time for just one, the west. It's quite unique. I'd spend a few days in the redwoods (Sequoia or Yosemite National Parks), take in Disneyland, San Francisco, Columbia (gold rush town) and a drive down the coast, stopping at the missions as you make your way to L.A. Or, if you have time for both, San Francisco, the redwoods, and on the opposite coast do Cape Canaveral and WDW. I'd skip D.C. unless you're covering American history, but NYC would be definitely interesting! (it's not one of my favorite U.S. cities, but it is unique)
  16. LOL! We take our cruise next week. I'll be sure to complain that the water is too wet, the excursions are too Greek, and that the weather was too unpredictable. :laugh:
  17. Lily_Grace

    Reading ideas

    Winnie The Pooh Mr. Popper's Penguins Farmer Boy (Little House, but the simply told Almanzo book) The Borrowers 5 Children and It Mrs. Pigglewiggle
  18. Supplement with what your library has. See if there are any fiction books to go along with the historical time period, or craft books if he likes that. Get an internet-linked encyclopedia for science so that he can look up a corresponding topic, go to the link, and watch a short video or dissect a virtual frog or the like. Hook him up with Duolingo to learn a second language. It's free, easy, and motivating. Keep up to date on what he's doing so you can weave in field trips around the area.
  19. I just record them on our own. An entry usually looks like this: 3/14/2012 Spring Fair 700-1300 Set up booths, ran rope climbing event, tear down. 6 hours It's enough for me to go back later and be able to pinpoint who he was volunteering with and drag up any pictures from that time.
  20. I track it for my middle schooler. There's a spot in SkedTrack for hobbies and that's where his service work goes. Part of it was I wanted to keep track of his scouting hours, and part of it was I wanted to be able to have it to draw on when he does start applying for other things.
  21. I break things down into manageable bites. In your case, I would pick a region to study each week and creating a weekly format. For my kid it would be something like this: Region 1: State we live in and surrounding states. OR, first stanza from Weekly projects - state page a day 1 book about *1* state 1 recipe from *1* state 1 tourism site looked at from *1* state 1 biography about a famous person from *1* state And then creating memory tiles for each state covered and their capitols. Play the game each Friday as it grows and sing along to the song.
  22. I have an 8th grader. First, :grouphug: . 7th grade is a hard year, in public school or out. The year spawned a new saying at our house. Rather than the usual house rules, we summed it up into "don't be stupid." That's been our mantra this year, too, (though slightly less so personally and more so when he looks at the wonderful examples in the news). It's also one of those years where "teaching" doesn't happen as much as in the early years, but "guiding" does. I look at my son's curriculum this year. He currently has 1 coursera class (mom not involved), a self-teaching math textbook, a self guiding writing textbook, 4 classes at a co-op and two that I actually sit and work with him on - history and science. It's enough to make a person feel unneeded, you know? He learns, not with me, but next to me. Middle school is hard. I applaud anyone willing to jump into hs'ing during those years because the kids are always changing and so are our relationships. And that first year is always so, so difficult. Hormonal teen + new education system + new relationship with mom = a lot of time wanting to climb under the covers and hide. We come to the Land of Expectations and fall down a rabbit hole. The advice I wish someone had given me that first year was take a few weeks and ignore the drudgery. Do a unit study - preferably outside, preferably doing something with your hands and gaining a skill. Just take that time to go have fun again.
  23. Yes, this. My BIL never wants to go back to WDW. He was miserable. They went in July, stayed in an off-site hotel, and hated every minute of their vacation. DH and I, otoh, made a list of what was important to us and stuck to it. I don't like huge crowds. We went during an off-peak time (early spring). I wanted to stay close to the park without feeling like Mickey Mouse threw up on me, so we stayed at the Wilderness Lodge. Quiet, out of the way, but right across the lake. And still Disney. We would have been miserable at one of the All Star resorts or a high traffic hotel like the Poly. Even more so having to drive back and forth each day. OTOH, my friend swears by staying off-site. She likes the room to breathe and doesn't ever want to stay on property. She likes to get away from all things Disney at the end of the day and have the freedom to go wherever she wants in her own car. Staying onsite would not be a good experience for her. We're trying to talk my BIL and his family into another trip. His wife's interested, but that one trip put him off so much that he doesn't ever want to go back. :( BTW, for those of you who would prefer to visit other countries than WDW, there is the Disney Adventures program. Go anywhere in the world on a Disney trip, geared to family time and making sure the littles are included. :)
  24. I think they're great for the kid who loves them. Mine would have...if we could have made it like the Ology books. But having limited resources led me to the idea that there has to be something else on the market for those of us who want it to be a real, outstanding project. I want them preprinted - on different textured/colored paper, additional embellishments included, and THEN be able to use it as a project to reinforce learning and have a keepsake. That would make them definitely fun for my knowledgeable, but not very artsy child. (He ended up devising a way to do interactive powerpoint presentations instead)
  25. Magic. Pure and simple magic. I grew up a Disney brat. West, not East coast. I knew the park like the back of my hand. Dh dragged me kicking and screaming to WDW a few years back and I fell in love all over again. We're planning our next vacation soon - would have been sooner, but we emptied the Disney fund for DLParis (fun, but not WDW). The magic is indescribable. Disney parks were built with the idea that perspective changes as we get older. There are special things that littles see and their parents do not. There are special things their parents take note of. More than that, the emphasis on an effortless, stress free vacation is huge. Dh and I would never, ever go into debt for Disney. Vacations aren't worth headaches later. However, we do love the idea that we can pay for everything beforehand and it's ready. It's there. It's easy. It's like an all inclusive resort. From the airport to leaving, they take care of everything. And they listen. It is the easiest, most relaxing vacation we've taken to date, and so we'll always want to go back.
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