AimeeM
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Posts posted by AimeeM
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I haven't read the replies and I know I may be in the minority, but yes -- I would find it too much, especially if I have children at home who aren't enrolled in the co-op, which would mean I have to find a sitter for them. Considering the time the parent spends to get there, do their time, and get home, it could average several hours for some families (there are local families that travel an hour each way for co-ops in our area), not just the one hour.
I say this assuming I'm paying for co-op classes. If I'm paying the fees that our larger co-ops charge, and I'm doing it so that I can have drop-off classes, I want just that -- drop-off and not volunteer.
Locally, we have larger fee-based co-ops here, and we have smaller co-ops that are run by moms and volunteers (a parent must--generally--stay on site). As a rule, I try to stay away from co-ops that require volunteer hours, as we prefer to just pay for the classes and not have volunteer hours. We only have one child able to participate in a co-op (and she doesn't want to at this time), and our other two kiddos are special needs and unable to participate in most co-op classes for their actual age(s). Finding a daytime sitter for them for several hours, every month, would be almost impossible. I know because I've tried (to find reliable daytime sitters). It's pretty easy to find evening sitters, but not for daytime... not consistently or with regular availability.
ETA: I wouldn't mind the buyout option, though. Some of the larger co-ops offer the buy-out option, but one requires (last I checked, which was a year or two ago) that you participate for a year before "buying out" of volunteer hours. I would suggest you offer an upfront buy-out option. I could have read it wrong, but it sounds like it's up to the parent to find another parent willing to take the hours, and then pay them separately? If I'm not involved in the co-op, I (likely) wouldn't know the other parents.
At the end of the day, though, if the parents knew this prior to enrolling their child(ren), they have nothing to complain about.
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On 5/17/2018 at 3:47 PM, Arctic Mama said:
See those are exactly the people I don’t reschedule with, because usually it is important we be seen quickly and the waits are generally months unless we get hospitalized and can be seen on rounds. They’ve basically told us that unless we have active fevers and vomiting that can’t be managed he should come on in.
But EI and private therapy tell us to cancel with any illness. Neuro and GI, not so much. But like I said, I refuse to let my kids be in the waiting room and sick. That’s where it gets spread. If it’s just the baby he’s in his stroller and not goobing on random surfaces.
If it were months to reschedule an appointment for us, or the specialist needed to be seen because of the illness, I may have been inclined to do things differently ? Here, if you're an established patient already, it is more typically days or a couple weeks to be rescheduled with most specialists (there are exceptions, like genetics).
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We cancelled. While they did state they prefer 24 hours notice (and I stated that I did as well -- this particular virus seems to be running through our house for a second time), they didn't give me a hard time about rescheduling. They were able to get her back in a couple weeks from now. If the results show anything of serious importance, this particular doctor has done phone conferences with us before (for our other kiddo), so I assume he would do the same here. I may be on the hook for a cancelling fee, but I'm okay with that.
Leaving the other kiddos with Dad would have been a good option -- but he's down with this, too (home from the office and sick, which rarely happens), and it's not a great option to leave the Flying Marco with anyone who isn't able to be on their toes (and quickly).
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DD16 would definitely wear a mask -- as would DS9. However, The Marvelous Flying Marco (DS5) is terrified of them. All of the kids would be with me tomorrow -- and all are either currently ill or just getting over it.
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DD16 has a check-up (and to go over some test results) with her cardiologist tomorrow. However, she is also sick, and we know it's contagious (because our kids, and us, have been going down with it like dominos). I'm inclined to cancel the appointment.
Our middle son (DS9) sees several specialists, including cardiology, and I've always cancelled if he's ill -- because the risk seems much greater when we're talking about even possibly spreading illness to kiddos who already have serious health problems. I know his pulmonology specialists prefer we cancel if we're ill, unless we need the pulmonary MD specifically because of the illness. We've been in the position of having a child (DS9, when he was much younger and pre/post op) at greater risk of falling seriously ill with illnesses the general population considers relatively minor, so I know my anxiety over this decision may just be me reliving the anxiety of those days, and may not be well placed.
The only reason I'm even considering taking DD16 to her appointment is because of the test results. I'll end up deciding by morning, I know. The office will not give me a straight answer regarding this, btw -- they will just say that it's up to me.
The point of the post, though, is mainly curiosity. Do you cancel specialist appointments if you're ill with something contagious and unrelated (to the specialist)?
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I think it's always been a matter of perspective.
My stepmother had a laundry list of words we couldn't say. "Stupid" and "shut up" being some of them -- but the grown ups could say them; just not us kids. I grew up in the late 80's and 90's.
My husband grew up in the 70's, went to Catholic schools his entire school career (in a time and place where nuns still ran the game), and was raised in an Italian and devoutly Catholic household (compared to my parents, who identified as a certain religion, but didn't practice or go to church with any frequency). He didn't say the obvious "curse" words (da*n, sh*t, etc.), but random words like "stupid" were fair game. He was pretty amazed that I grew up considering "crap" to be a bad word. He doesn't (consider it a bad word).
Despite not being allowed to use such words as a child, I have the mouth of a sailor as an adult.
We make a clear distinction with our kids, with regards to how they say certain words. Calling each other "stupid" is not okay -- saying that some random thing is "stupid" is fine. "Crap" is officially an okay word in our house. Obvious curse words are not allowed by kids, which is completely hypocritical of me, and if I'm honest I probably wouldn't mind so much if it weren't for that we live in the south and I don't want my kids to be the reason some sweet old lady keels over with a heart attack.
When The Marvelous Flying Marco was first speaking (ASD; nonverbal until 4), his first real phrase was "Son of a B*tch." Courtesy yours truly, unfortunately. It's one of my favorites in traffic. I said not a darn thing. I was so thrilled he was talking, that I said absolutely nothing about it being a bad word or phrase. Even when he said it in public. After so long in speech therapy and intervention, nobody was going to convince me to tell him not to say it. And, frankly, his enunciation was so freakin' spot-on! Similar story when he started saying "a*shole." But that one came out "az-ole," so only I really knew what he was saying -- and since it was, again, my fault he was saying (another traffic favorite of mine), I thought it best to just ride out.
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This has always been a thing and always will be. Not everyone wants to live close to stores, etc.
We live in a subdivision that is somewhat removed from "places." It's 3+ miles to the nearest store. So, really, it's a very short drive, but too long to walk -- and I wouldn't want my kids or biking the curvy roads that lead from our neighborhood to the store, gym, etc.
Our teenager has a car. We bought it for her (kind of a later 16th birthday present). Otherwise, we drop her off places with friends. No public transportation where we live.
Growing up, we didn't live in a big subdivision at all. It was a regular, run-of-the-mill older neighborhood (all the houses were different, built at different times and by different builders, no HOA, etc.). Most of the homes were built between 1950-1980, I think. We weren't close enough to walk anywhere -- not schools, not stores. Actually, of all the places we lived when I was growing up (a few different houses). And none of the places I lived were in areas that public transportation picked up near. And, still, 2 of the 3 homes were not in any way considered "the country" or "removed."
Around here, the only houses that are really within walking distance of stores and similar are downtown district apartments and homes in the historic district of our downtown. There are neighborhoods that are within walking distance of most schools -- but the elementary, middle, and high schools are so far from each other, that your kid wouldn't be able to walk to school their entire childhood. And homes that butt up against schools go quickly around here.
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Well, we seem to be in the minority here, but we enjoy (and celebrate) the "Hallmark Holidays" (Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, etc.).
I never know what I want, though. DH is pretty good at gift-giving, and drags the kiddos into that, so I don't mind being surprised (most of the time, lol). He always cooks a special dinner for Mother's Day.
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Praying for you!
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I have the same problem. I'm severely allergic (according to allergy testing) to almost every grass that is local (including the grass in our own yards) and struggle with seasonal allergies. Prior to my third pregnancy, I successfully took Zyrtec, Claritin, etc., with no problems. But now -- yeah, they make me completely edgy and I feel like I'm going to explode on anyone who happens by my path. So, I suffer the allergies.
Reportedly, a tablespoon of local honey should help with seasonal allergies, but I haven't tried it yet.
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6 hours ago, Ktgrok said:
So, found a practice that is taking new patients. And not an hour away. I'll be seeing the nurse practitioner, but that's fine with me. They know the appointment is for ADHD. I will be bringing with me the print outs from Hale's book, Medications and Mother's Milk and probably the print outs from LactMed as well. And saying a prayer. Appt is on Thursday the 3rd.
Hopeful they will listen and be open to this.
If not, I may try to see if my kids' pediatrician will ever treat adults. He's very familiar with ADHD (pretty sure he has it himself actually) and did a good job discussing dosages, options, etc with my son when he was diagnosed. Can't hurt to ask.
Did you ask if they are willing to prescribe stimulants?
I only ask (and I know you didn't ask for my opinion on this) because it's been my experience that placing you with an NP as your primary could be indicative of that the practice doesn't prescribe stimulant adhd medications -- because, to the best of my knowledge, an NP cannot prescribe them. In practices I've seen in the past (or my kids have been seen by), the only time they can't see the NP on staff is when it's related to ADHD medication. If it needs to be prescribed, or there is a problem with it (dosage, etc.), we have always had to see an MD within that practice. It's entirely possible that the practice you'll be going to has different policies, though.
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On 4/26/2018 at 9:33 PM, Ktgrok said:
Well, I mean, the NIH seems like a pretty reputable source for information, and if she doesn't research it, she never will get comfortable with it. I mean, how else will she? She would not have talked to a pharmacist about it, or anyone else. I offered to have her speak with the Infant Risk Center directly to discuss safety of the meds, alternatives, etc. She refused. And saying "medication for lactating women" is outside your scope of practice when you are in FAMILY medicine makes no sense to me. Had it been any other kind of medication she had no way to find out information on it either.
And I wasn't asking for the non stimulants - those are the ones actually not considered safe while nursing. I was interested in stimulant medication. SHE was the one trying to say the non stimulants were safer, just because they aren't stimulants.Except based on the actual science, that's not true...the stimulants are safer because they don't transfer into the milk as much..especially methylphenidate. Methlyphenidate only transfers less than 1% and is undetectable in the serum samples taken from babies exposed via lactation. (as stated by both NIH and Infant Risk).
It was the she had never heard of these sources for researching medication and lactation that shocked and dismayed and yes, angered me.
My mistake -- I read that wrong. I thought you wanted a non-stimulant :P
Honestly, this is why I keep a pediatrician for my children. I might see a GP for myself, but questions like yours were always ones I asked my kiddos' pediatrician -- because they seem to be more specifically educated on exactly these questions, and because it stands to directly affect the health of her patient (my kid), she is able to answer even though she isn't my doctor. I can't ask her to prescribe a medication for me, but I can ask her about the safety and which meds are safer than others, etc., and this allows me to go in to my own doctor carrying information. I do understand, however, that you offered the doctor information and she chose not to take it.
Some doctors just aren't comfortable with certain types of medications. And some GPs aren't comfortable with lactating or pregnant women. I have noticed that when I'm pregnant or nursing, every time I saw a GP for something related to illness (or similar), they typically defaulted to wanting my OBGYN's input before treating me -- or directly told me to see my OBGYN about the issue (even if it was not related to pregnancy or breastfeeding -- just because, I would imagine, the potential liability involved in treating a pregnant or nursing mother, when such isn't their area of expertise.
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Being a good (or even great) musician doesn't mean one can teach, kwim? Lol. We know this the hard way.
My FIL was a gifted, self-taught musician. He literally taught himself accordion, the piano, the guitar, and the drums to a darn proficient level (and he wrote music, which he also taught himself). Due to medical and emotional needs, he didn't attend actual school past fifth grade, but he was an amazing musician. And he was a great teacher! He owned a music shop and gave private music lessons for almost 70 years. He was a patient teacher and loved what he did.
My DH, however, is not a good teacher. Like his father, he is naturally gifted in music. While his father did teach him some basics growing up, DH is also mostly self-taught. While the way he came about playing as well as he does is pretty much identical to my FIL, it's also (imo) the reason he isn't a good teacher. He doesn't understand how it's possible for it to not be as easy for everyone else. He isn't mean at all about it, he just seems... confused -- when he shows somebody how to do something and it isn't picked up immediately. However, this is true for a number of things with DH (maths, science, etc.), so it's probably personality.
All that to say this -- I would be inclined to give the teen at your church a try, but only if my kid already enjoyed playing that instrument and had had previous lessons. I'm not sure I would want to chance it with a kiddo who is new to the instrument or lessons. A less-than-good first teacher can turn them off to it entirely. It's why I don't let DH teach our kids how to play, unless the particular kiddo has shown a similar natural gift for it. I know others in our circle who find it odd that we have somebody, in the same household, who plays most instruments very well, but we hire teachers :P
Also, it's been our (recent) experience that those who haven't much of a teaching background tend to go in a bit too rigid. Our last piano teacher was a very sweet woman, but she was definitely more "piano workbook" oriented -- and we simply wanted somebody to show our five year old how to play, as he appears to enjoy it already. He is autistic and has receptive language delays -- so explaining how to read music, and teaching from a book, didn't work well for him. After a while he came to dread lessons -- even though he adored her. She did try to customize the lessons to his needs, but she was pretty young herself (early-twenties) and even customization seemed to revolve around a very specific set of steps she perceived to be the only appropriate way to teach.
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2 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:
She has previously prescribed them to my son, and said that she prescribes them all the time.
Devil's advocate.
There is a big difference between prescribing medications for adults, or even children, and prescribing them to lactating mothers. I would rather a doctor say something (anything) is outside their scope, than for them to practice any sort of medicine they aren't completely comfortable with. And I wouldn't be comfortable with my doctor admitting he/she is unknowledgeable about something as potentially serious as this -- and just turning to a website or book for a quick answer.
This may be something you could ask your doctor to consult with a pharmacist about, though.
ETA: Don't set your hopes too high on a non-stimulant definitely working for you. It's been the opposite experience in my family -- the non-stimulant adhd medications make things worse. In my group of friends, the non-stimulants are really hit or miss -- and definitely look into even those really thoroughly, because at least one has been banned in most other countries due to the side effects. We do stimulants here. We have tried non-stimulants, and they definitely didn't work well for us. I wouldn't be opposed to trying them again at some point, but they aren't necessarily safer or better just because they aren't stimulants, kwim?
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I plan on keeping the kids' rooms as theirs -- in the hopes that they will visit frequently (hopefully bringing their own families one day, lol).
We are in a home I consider our "forever home." And right now we have the space to keep their bedrooms as 'theirs' and still have separate guest rooms and offices. If that were to change (for some reason we moved to a smaller home, etc.), my first priority would be a guest space, I think, but you can double that as an office or library -- just add a sleeper sofa.
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Did you order from the U.S. page on the Sound Foundations site?
I ordered the entire A&P set (Levels A-D) not long ago and it was here in about a week (maybe a bit more than a week).
Same with the Dancing Bears book I ordered recently. The one thing that can't seem to get to me is the flashcards :P While the DB and AP books are printed on-demand in the U.S. for U.S. customers, the flashcards (for the DB book) are, for some reason, shipped from the UK -- and it's been weeks since I received the DB book, and still no flashcards.
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I know you didn't ask for advice here, but if she found the details in TAN's SOC a bit too much to take in (my kids found it to be too much and didn't retain much), I might suggest you pre-read each Mythology reading and be ready to "read" it a bit more densely aloud.
Also, I took MP's study guide for Greek Mythology and re-wrote it a bit (a lot). For example, when I wrote it, I took the "vocabulary" and we discuss each vocabulary word as it comes up in reading (instead of separately) for context; I took the "discussion questions" and rearranged them in such a way that allowed me to use each in reverse -- instead of asking the question first, and using the TM's answer to decide if the answer is or isn't correct, I used the answer in the TM to first restate the point, then ask the question (similar to the flash-back method we use for digraph/phonics cards, and general recitations, for my kiddos with dyslexia/working memory issues). Also, the portion of the "activities" that has the student look back at certain pages of the DA book and name/find certain things/characters, I re-wrote to do prior to discussion questions, immediately after reading.
I believe the SC Writing: Step-by-Step Sentences (which is Level 2) ties into their read alouds for that SC Level, just as an fyi. I've heard great things about their writing. Like I said above, though, most of the SC-leveled subjects seem to tie into other subjects. And the way read alouds are approached for SC is very different (imo) than the same is approached in the regular cores. We love their regular Read Aloud and Enrichment sets (and we use them).
We're definitely going to do the mythology from MP3, because I think she'll like it, but do discussion questions as a mixture of oral discussion and me scribing for her and me scribing and then her copying. Might start Prima Latina from Simply Classical 3, using the modified simply classical lesson plans rather than the regular lesson plans. Going to do the American History reading from MP3 as well, again doing the discussion more orally or me scribing for most of it.
I ordered the writing from Simply Classical, the sentence one, that looks to be exactly where she is right now. We'll start that now and just continue it next year I think.
We may or may not do their science..I have plenty of science stuff here and we do a TON of documentaries, so will see about that one.
For reading: We will continue with Abecedarian because it is WORKING. I just ordered the spelling supplement as well. And then I think we may just keep having her read whatever books I find at the library that she can read with confidence, and then IF she can do it, at some point do MP Prairie School book and guide. That one is in MP2 or Simply Classical 3. It's the only one I see that would have a guide to go with it that might be at her level.
And then I'd read aloud the books in MP3 or use audio books, for say Farmer Boy, Mr. Popper's Penguin, etc. Mainly because can't imagine holding her back from enjoying and discussing those level of books until her reading level catches up, I just don't know when that will be and I don't want to keep our literature exposure/discussions at the level of "Put me In the Zoo". I think we need to keep moving forward with good books, as we are, even if she can't read them. Again, would probably do discussion orally at this point.
In good news, her stamina for listening to me read is growing! I one and a half chapters of Trixie Belden last night and she was BEGGING for more! (had to stop to make a cake for the baby's birthday). So yay! (Trixie was my favorite growing up, so sharing those books makes me ridiculously happy).
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The literature program is specifically designed to be read by the student. The content areas, though, would be fine for you to read aloud.
Honestly, as much as I adore MP, I wouldn't do it with a dyslexic kiddo who struggles with reading and/or writing. Not a full core. I might pick and choose materials from several levels of cores (and they have lesson plans you can buy separately for each subject in each grade), but not a full core. MP is super reading and writing heavy -- and it really ramps up in third grade. Don't be afraid to mix and match different things in the cores, though. You could use 2nd grade literature, but third grade content subjects, for example.
I have kiddos with dyslexia and I have kiddos with other special needs. None have been able to handle a full core.
I've also tried MP's Simply Classical a couple times (expensive "trials," lol), but wasn't super impressed. Like the regular MP cores, it seems to assume pretty linear development of skills (albeit at a much slower pace). And the SC cores are much harder, imo, to mix and match. They do offer the option and separate lesson plans for each subject, as with the regular MP cores, but so much of each subject with SC ties directly in with other subjects that it makes it hard. And the enrichment is, imo, really lacking compared to the regular cores. I understand that the focus is on developing skills, but content subjects supply the joy in our homeschool, as my children struggle with the skill areas of reading and writing -- so content subjects are as important to us as skill subjects (because we believe joy and beauty have as big a place in education as learning to read and write).
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Yeah, I think I had said in a subsequent post that there are some circumstances under which it made sense to me - a new home and close family/friends excited to see it, etc. And a project room, sure. I could see my husband saying, hey, come look at what I'm doing in the basement. It's the idea that every guest should have a tour, that it's a normal thing to show all the people around the whole house, that I don't get at all.
As for kids, well, I'm sure not all kids are private about their rooms. I mean, I did say I wondered about it, LOL. I didn't make a pronouncement that no kid ever wanted anyone to see their room! :-)
LOL now this is totally off-track, but I'm remembering the first big party we had when we moved here. 90% of the guests had never been to our house! Would have been awkward if every time someone came in, I had to take them around (not that it would take long; it's not a big house). But now I am venturing into the ludicrous... :-)
Our younger boys want EVERYBODY to see their room, lol! Our teenager, though, only allows her friends to see her room.
It would be really weird to offer a tour to every guest, I agree. Those who have only known us since we've lived in our home don't tend to care about the house -- it's just those who knew us before we moved that seem to want a tour :P
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Oh no. I think it is so inappropriate for someone to ask for a house tour. What the heck? My family's bedrooms are not for public viewing. And how embarrassing for everyone when the host says no. How does one even say no politely?
I do agree it's weird to offer a tour.
I didn't think it was odd or inappropriate at all for our friends and family members to ask for a tour after we'd bought a new house. We had moved from a much, much smaller downtown home, to an outskirt home in a subdivision. Our new home is almost triple the size of our old home, and suits our family much better. Friends and family members knew how excited we were about the move, and caught some of the excitement bug. When they ask for a tour, we're happy to oblige! Especially the master bedroom and bathroom and closet -- where we now actually have room to walk around the bed without tripping over a dress or bed footing, lol!
And DH loves to show interested family members the basement that he is currently finishing :P
Our boys do not care at all and love to show others their new bedroom. Our teenager is picky about who sees her room, so we just tell others that it's one room we can't show them, because DD would rather not -- and it's not been at all embarrassing or awkward.
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Our teenage daughter knows, obviously.
The younger boys (almost-9 and almost-6), no. I won't tell them. They would offend somebody. They are both autistic (neither considered high functioning at this time), and they have to "practice," apparently, before they used terms correctly (in context). We've had some humiliating fails at trying to socially educate the boys, thus far.
The other day we were talking about ninjas. The younger boys were expressing what color ninjas they wanted to be (blue for water ninja, etc.). They named most of the colors between themselves and the rest of us, but Dad asked about brown (because it wasn't mentioned). DS8 proclaimed (loudly) that Dad was a racist for saying the word brown.
Similarly, DS6 has proclaimed (very loudly) people in stores to be "racist" when they say any color related words that could possibly be applied to skin-tone, although the discussions likely have zero to do with race.
In a department store a couple months ago, DS8 started in on me (why so loudly?!) for "misgendering" -- I think I had suggested to DD16 that we look in women's clothing, or something of that nature. (FYI, our DD doesn't identify as other than female.) Not much variation to DS8's comments when I called a salesman "sir" and "he."
Obviously we should have saved the racism talk and gender identity discussions for much later, and relied more on their cognitive development (vs. their actual ages).
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I remember seeing a few people here were using this, or had used it?
I'm realizing I like some structure, but not too much. And big picture versus a million details. I'm thinking their history cards, with library books, encyclopedia, videos, etc might work well. Question is....we are currently halfway through Ancients this year. We have been using Story of Civilization plus some other stuff here and there, and are not quite to the Romans.
Is there an order you need to use the Tours in? Do you need to start in Tour 1? Would it make more sense to grab just the history cards for Tour 2 right now, and use the ones we haven't covered yet for the rest of this year, then next year do Tour 3 for third grade? Then tour 1 for 4th grade, then move on to Catholic Textbook Projects? Or do our own thing the rest of this year, then do Tour 1 next year, then back to ancients the year after that, and then tour 3 in 5th grade and then move on to Catholic Textbook Project? (or maybe Notgrass).
Thoughts?
It is not necessary to do the years in order. Keep in mind, though, that their years look different than many other similar programs. It isn't the typical three or four year rotation for chronological world history -- years 2 and 3 are condensed versions of it, in my opinion (then year 1 is American).
Their progression made it hard for me to use Story of Civ alongside it. Or, at least, any one year of SOC.
I'm not sure what programs you've tried in the past. CSH does the same picture study and saint for weeks at a time, though, if I recall correctly. This was a hard and not-very-welcome change from my kids who were used to changing up the picture study and saint every week. And I think it only goes to 24 weeks? Subsequently, I found myself adding on to the program. We didn't stick with CSH (although we tried it twice), so somebody else may have be able to better answer your questions.
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For these larger teen social nights, how do you handle supervision? Do people drop off their teens and expect them to be chaperoned? Or maybe at a certain age they don't care, but I have a younger group with lots of 12-14 year olds. Do parents stay? What about younger siblings? This is starting to sound difficult, lol...
I don't want 50 teens being dropped off and their parents think they are supervised, you know? But if there are a bunch of younger siblings and parents hanging out, how is it really a teen night?
Anyone been there and done that with advice?
Not a teen social circle specifically, but when I ran our local homeschool chess club, the teens were typically dropped off (unless they had younger siblings participating as well). The parents knew I wouldn't be supervising the teens the entire time (because they usually went upstairs to play chess and eat popcorn).
My caveat is that the teens who participated were typically from other groups I belonged to -- I knew them and I knew their parents, which probably mattered :P
Personally, my teen would not be inclined to participate in something advertised as a "teen social group" if there were younger siblings running around. She adores her much younger brothers, but a teen night would preferably be just teens. Any number of local co-ops offer the opportunity for socializing with multiple age groups so it wouldn't be something we'd be interested in, unless drop-off were an option, kwim?
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The kiss scene didn't make me as uncomfortable as her constant drooling and comments towards the nicer-looking male contestants. With one of the young men, it really didn't stop at all -- she was making comments and oogling him for literally the entirety of his audition (and before, and after).
And, yeah -- that never would have been acceptable for the male judges to do. Not only would it likely not have aired had the male judges pulled the same stunts, it's likely they would have been kicked off the panel.
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Phonics vs Whole Language vs ...
in PreK and K
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I do not think that one way is necessarily better for all children. As in, I do not think ALL children should be taught pure phonics and I do not believe ALL children should be taught to read using a whole word approach. I believe (very firmly) that every child is different -- some kids will learn better with a pure phonics approach, and others will learn best with a whole word approach (and some with a combo of the two.
I taught my dyslexic DD (now 16) to read using a whole word approach -- and I'm very glad I did. While she struggled greatly with spelling because of her dyslexia, she can read (and well). Phonics were approached through spelling with programs like Apples and Pears. This was before she was homeschooled (that I taught her to read) and before I read these forums.
Then, when I pulled her to homeschool (end of fourth grade and she was already reading), I started reading about how pure phonics is the "only way to go" -- ESPECIALLY with dyslexic children. And I bought into it -- hook, line, and sinker. So when my middle son reached school age, I started in with a pure phonics approach (OG, multisensory, etc.), convinced it was the only way to go. After years of struggling, I now have a 9 year old (ASD and dyslexic) who can NOT read. Oh, he can sound out most words (thanks phonics!), but there is zero fluidity. By the time he is done dissecting and sounding out each word in a sentence, he's completely forgotten the other words in the sentence (or forgotten their sequence), so he has to go back over and re-read every word. It is painful to watch. That boy also dreads reading lessons as a result -- and dreads anything related to reading. So, as a last-ditch effort, I put him on ASD Reading, wondering if the visual approach would appeal to him. It is almost entirely whole word-based. Within a week he was reading a half dozen words with fluidity. And he enjoys it. I'm still hitting phonics with spelling (we do love Apples and Pears!), but I plan to take a more whole word approach with him going forward.
Similar story with my 6 year old ASD boy-o. No signs of dyslexia, but struggles (severely) with receptive language -- and rigidity. I attempted "pure phonics" with him for a couple weeks, and I promptly ditched it. Introducing a rule to this boy, then a few lessons later introduce exceptions to that rule, and then eventually words that do not follow the rule OR the learned exception(s) was already proving disastrous. He's known his letter sounds since 18 months old, but the rules involved in actual phonics, and the receptive language skills needed to receive that instruction, were already turning reading into a burden for him, and I don't want that (again). And, really, at this time in our lives, I'm looking to create readers and I really don't care how they get there. He is doing great with ASD Reading and easily remembers how to spell and read words that I spell out for him. We'll hit phonics with Apples and Pears later, like I did with his sister and brother. But, this time around, I'm not going to stress phonics as the "only way to go."
I am sure there are many children who do well with pure phonics. I am sure there are children with the same dx's as my own children who do well with pure phonics. I am also sure that I did at least one of my children a huge disservice by being so invested in one approach being the "right way" that I was unwilling (until very late in the game) to deviate from it.
So, no, I wouldn't have said anything to you, had I been a bystander. And, if someone had said something to me (were my child in situation similar to your DD's), I would have told her exactly where she could shove it. But, then, it's a touchy subject for me ?