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Posts posted by AimeeM

  1. On 11/23/2019 at 8:42 PM, FuzzyCatz said:

    I like dogs.  But a busy puppy in a new situation with 24 extra people (!?) in your house for 2 days?   Hard no.  If you are doing the primary cooking and prepping and organizing for that you get the final vote IMO.   If DH pushed, dog would be crated in a garage or basement or outside.  The end.  


    We love dogs and have two ourselves - but I’ll admit I do NOT care for the puppy stage. And regardless of what your DH says, you will absolutely know the puppy is there.

    I would only do it with the contingency that the pup remain crated, with the exception of leashed walks. TBF, bringing a new puppy to a big family gathering for days at a time is going to stress the puppy out at least as much as it stresses you out. 

  2. 23 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

    Op, I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt. 

    I wonder if such things are a result of our age segregated society? It annoys me when young people can’t see the contributions that older people have given to their Iives. 

    I absolutely see the value of their contributions — but I never would have thought it necessary (for even only the sake of etiquette) to invite my parents’ friends and dh’s parents’ friends to our wedding — unless we were also close to them and considered them friends or family. Had we done so, the guest list would have been, well, insane. 

    • Like 1
  3. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Trust me -- I get it from your side. DH has one much younger sibling (11 year age difference) -- and the younger sibling was very spotty about "being around" when FIL was ill and going through hospice/long-term care. To such an extreme that I was the point of contact for his care providers (even though DH and I live about 12 hours from where FIL lived -- and BIL lived only about 30 minutes from FIL). 

    I was quite annoyed by it at the time. I adored my FIL and couldn't imagine that anybody wouldn't want to help care for him. But, the reality of the situation was just so much more complicated (something I can only see a couple years later). The relationship my DH had with his father is just entirely different than the relationship his brother had with their father. At the end of the day, each of them had very different childhoods -- even if they were under the same roof and had the same parents. Or, rather, each of them viewed their upbringing differently, even if it actually didn't differ much at all. Does that make any sense? It certainly affected how much (time, actual energy, emotional energy) each was willing to put into my FIL when push came to shove. I have no idea if any of this applies to your BIL, so feel free to stop reading if it doesn't, lol.


    To sum it up, BIL had little emotional investment in his father; whereas DH had a ton. That -- by itself -- doesn't mean that BIL is a bad (or, as I thought at the time, lazy) person.

    Just because somebody is technically related to you doesn't necessarily mean that you're emotionally invested. I've experienced it with many of my own relatives. I'm sure there are those in my family who lament on the fact that I choose to have nothing to do with certain *close* relatives. Actually, I know there are, because a couple of them have mentioned it to me. Sometimes I have my own reasons -- and sometimes I just do not have an emotional attachment to the family member being discussed. 

    I'm sure it sounds cold, but I don't mean it to come across that way. I've seen (on this board and IRL) that many people seem completely perplexed at the very idea that a person wouldn't care much about a person who "shared their blood / dna," even if the only thing linking them is that -- and I guess I'm the opposite. 

    How much emotional energy I'm willing to commit to a person has essentially nothing to do with the blood I share with them... and has everything to do with the relationship I have (or haven't) built with them.

    All of that to really just say that I would try not to judge too harshly your BIL in this situation. I know it's easier said than done. And, actually, I don't think my own advice is particularly realistic because, hey, I certainly judged (and still do) my own BIL for similar 😛 But, as I said above -- I loved my FIL and I was (emotionally) close to him, so it colored my opinion (and will continue to, for which I make no apologies) regarding how I believed everybody else should treat him.

    • Like 8
  4. I’m in Greenville county (it’s a HUGE county, and made up of many, many smaller cities, so I’m not sure if you’re referring to Greenville city or the county as a whole). 

    We live in the county, but in an outskirts city about 15-20 minutes from downtown Greenville (city). Our area is great — you get a lot of bang for your buck, house-wise. Prior to where we live now, we lived in downtown Greenville. 

    There are pluses and minuses either way. Housing in downtown or Greenville “city” is much, much more costly for relatively much less house, so to speak. But, if you’d like to be just minutes from the children’s museum, art museums, etc., it may be worth it to you. I do miss that part ? 

    However, the area I live in (I can PM you that info if you want) is very nice, seems to be where everybody is moving “to,” and if I want to get to downtown Greenville, it isn’t far at all jumping in the interstate.

    Im not super familiar with Spartanburg, other than that most people I know who do live there, come here or to downtown Greenville (or another city within Greenville county) for most events and homeschool related offerings, it seems.

    This area in general is very homeschool friendly. And if you’re faith aligned correctly (ours doesn’t, lol) there are dozens of active co ops and several private faith-based schools that offer dual enrollment for homeschooled kids. I think there are a couple cottage schools as well. If your faith doesn’t align, there are a couple great groups that are secular — but those tend to be for general support and occasional or informal hangouts (park days, field trips, etc.). I know of one formal secular co op in the area, but I can’t recommend it one way or another as we do not participate. A few of the faith or church based co ops do allow those who aren’t the same faith to join — typically with a signed understanding (from the parent) that the child will be taught (at co op) in accordance with the co op beliefs.

    There are several virtual public schools. K12, Connection, and I think Calvert.

    Dual enrollment at the local CC isn’t allowed until 17 (from what I was reading) — unless your kid attends one of the public magnet early college high schools. 

    Sorry for typos. Mobile.

    • Like 1
  5. I would do it in a heartbeat if it were an option for me. I researched it and everything — only to have my doctor (also a surgeon) tell me I wasn’t a candidate. There are some causes of bad vision (like mine) that aren’t correctable with lasik. I had never really asked WHY I had such horrible vision, as it had been something I’d lived with most of my life (vision started deteriorating pretty quickly around age 10 and I was legally blind with thick glasses shortly after; moving to contacts around age 13). 

    So before he gets his heart set on it — have him consult with a specialist. I was pretty (really) disappointed and wished I had consulted about the cause before looking more into lasik.

    • Like 1
  6. 4 hours ago, lavender's green said:

    We're pretty far inland, but I'm a little freaked out by the rainfall predictions. I had hoped to get out and do something fun over the weekend, but it will be much safer to hunker down at home. We live on high ground, don't have a basement, and had our trees evaluated a couple years ago. Leaving home would mean risking flash floods and downed trees/wires.

    I'll double-check the pantry and water, but we rarely lose utilities (not that you can count on it for this storm, but still...). Might bug DH about a drainage issue.

    I had wondered why my son's school wanted to know our cell phone carrier. Turns out they need that to send emergency messages.


    Similar here. We're about 3 hours inland (Upstate), but considering the rain we've had today and are expected to continue to get for the next couple of days, I'm pretty worried about flooding when the hurricane does hit. Our house is on pretty high ground, but our backyard is already saturated and the only road in/out of our subdivision is definitely not on high ground, and has some already-angry looking water under the bridge. And despite the subdivision vomit that has come to our area, our main road is still somewhat rural and I worry about downed trees, etc.

    I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow and hoping that people haven't cleaned out the bread. And I'm going to call the pharmacy to see if they will refill a prescription two days early ? I'm not super hopeful about the bread situation, as it seems the locals clean it out of most stores at the slightest hint of inclement weather, but we'll see.

  7. On 8/26/2018 at 4:06 PM, DidoMachiatto said:


    As far as the need for it to be in a classroom, I was able to easily adapt it for a two-some, and since my kids always follow the same history topic even at different grades I was always had two-to-tango. In his video models he also has only a couple students debating a topic. His teacher's guide can go all the way up to a large class situation. But as I said it is not hard to adapt. It's a lot of research and the students may need help and guidance at the beginning. 


    For those of us with larger gaps in ages of students, I can see how it would be difficult to implement. My kids are 17, 9, and 6 (with the younger two being special needs). While typically studying similar strands in history, even if the two younger guys were neurotypical, it's too much of an age gap to really get a debate or any type of discussion (of the variety that would benefit elementary and high schoolers) from. 

    OP, I've looked at it many times and I'm glad you asked. I always choose something else at the end of the day -- but it looks like a great idea in theory... if I had a small classroom of similar-in-age children.

  8. I've found grade level indicators useful for determining a general idea of expected proficiency needed for a group activity, class, or other activity -- even (or especially) in the homeschool world. 

    If I'm looking at a class for my 9 year old and the classes for age indicate "third grade," I can safely assume that most of the children are reading fluently and it wouldn't be a good fit for my struggling-to-read son, for example. 

    Children working at their own pace is all well and good, but I can see how it would be almost impossible to run an efficient academic-specific activity (just for example) without grade level. Grade levels indicate an approximate functioning level in a given subject, and without it I can imagine a lot of outrage from parents whose children meet the "age only" criteria, but aren't capable of working at the level needed to participate in the activity/class/whatever. <---- and I say this as Mom to three special needs kiddos, who can almost never participate in activities and classes with children "their age" (save one-off events and activities like group outings or simple meet ups). I'm grateful that grade levels were indicated for what my kids can't participate in -- it saves a lot of frustration and potential heartache on our end.

    • Like 1
  9. Others have replied already, I'm sure, but I will say that my mother has to take benedryl when she visits us (she has dog allergies and we have a large, hairy German Shepherd). My mother visits from out of state and stays with us when she visits. The benedryl (even a small dose) makes her really drowsy, so I'd be prepared for that with your son. It does seem to help her allergy symptoms, but visits are very limited because -- frankly -- visits aren't all that pleasant for her when she's sleepy all day, I'd imagine.

  10. I'm combining my first and third graders next year in MP Enrichment 1. However, I'm going to use the MP Enrichment twice weekly during out "content period" and then, the other 2-3 days of the week, read ancient and American history-related picture books and expand on the science topics with more literature than listed in the EG. I love MP's enrichment, but my kids are not the type to sit through the same story every day, 4-5 days a week ?

  11. 11 hours ago, goldberry said:


    Again, this is not a random child or adult, this is a close relative who the mom has been around at least weekly apparently for many years.  There's nothing wrong with putting parameters on it like you describe.  But a 6 year old very close cousin touching a baby's head is not a horrible thing or treating a baby like a doll.

    Sorry, I agree with OP.  You (and the auntie) have every right to that behavior, but no, I don't think it's either normal or healthy in the family situation described (close family who know each other well, are around each other often, neurotypical 6 year old, etc.)


    I'm very close to my middle sister. I still would have been hesitant about my niece holding my sons when they were NBs at about the age the OP's daughter is now -- especially not if there were younger children running around the same area. Even the most well behaved six year olds can be easily distracted and my NBs have had a tendency to randomly startle and "flail" (even when sleeping), which can easily -- in turn -- startle the child holding the baby. One of my boys did it so frequently I rarely let adults hold him until he was many months old. 

    This mom is likely running on fumes and little sleep. ALL of my kids have been touch-sensitive when sleeping. Touching them woke them up, even as NBs. And if there was one thing guaranteed to put me on edge as a sleep-deprived mom it was the idea of my sleeping (or even just "content") baby being woken up.

    To the OP, I say this gently. Your DD's enthusiasm may be what is unsettling your sister. It would have made me nervous in an already-edgy state of being to have an enthusiastic child wanting to hold my NB, touch my NB, etc. -- no matter how close the relationship. 

    • Like 1
  12. It's foreign to you because you desire to travel and, I assume, live in many different places. I have no such desires, lol. Barring a need to move, I don't anticipate doing so. 

    I did tell DH that if, God forbid, something ever happened to him and we couldn't share this home together (he had a health scare not long ago, so it was a prudent discussion at the time), I don't think I'd be able to stay here. I (very literally) have no friends or family in the area. All of my family has moved over the last few years 10+ hours from our area (and, frankly, I am estranged from the majority of them), DH's family is lovely, but they live 12+ hours from us. Slowly, all of my friends have moved to different states for various reasons (one had to follow husband's job; the other needed/desired to be closer to her own parents). 

    Honestly, I love our home. It's large (large enough for the kids to keep their bedrooms even after they leave home, and large enough to -- hopefully -- host their future families for the holidays, lol), we've been working to customize it, and it's in a nice neighborhood. However, I really dislike the actual neighborhood (very clique-centered) and I really dislike living in the south in general, although I was born and raised in the south. I much prefer a climate with four seasons ? 

    If we ever had to move, I would hope we'd move somewhere closer to DH's family. 

  13. 3 hours ago, Quill said:

    I am upset because it is a designer purse. If she spent $60 on...something that I thought had lasting importance - maybe like a winter coat or something, if she didn’t have a coat at all - I would not be upset. I am entirely upset because of what a designer purse represents, which, to me, is nothing but image and trying to show off. 

    About your first paragraph, there was never any expectation on either of our part that she would pay for her dental care. And I still don’t expect her to pay for that. I just thought she would realize that it’s a big deal. It’s a thousand dollars and I had her arrange a payment plan because it is a lot of dough. It just seems to me like she would realize that but it doesn’t feel like she does. And the car - she knows she will have to pay for the purchase of a replacement car; we have always said so. BUT she is not in a position to buy one herself, so that will be payments to us as well. This is where I feel like yelling, “DON’T you get it?! You need to focus on paying for the stuff that CANNOT WAIT!” 


    Is that why she wanted it? To show off? If so, your parental sensibilities are understandably offended.

    However, if she portrayed that she got the person because she likes it -- and it was on sale -- then you may be far off base. Oddly enough, there are people who legitimately like the look and style of purses that happen to be designer brand. And it's been my personal experience that, with bags, you get what you pay for. DH insisted I buy a ridiculously priced designer purse about 10 years ago. It is STLL in great condition -- three kids (and their pacifiers, crackers, crushed juice boxes, etc.) later, and while the inside lining is a bit on the dim side, it looks great and is holding up. Whereas, prior to that I was intent on buying cheap and serviceable, I had to buy a new purse at least every year. When I did the math, that one-time bigger purchase saved me money in the long run. It can be worth it. And my having a designer bag has zero to do with me wanting to "showing off"  ?

    • Like 4
  14. DS6 is technically in first grade this upcoming year, but we're holding him back, I think (officially). He's ASD with a major receptive language delay, so this past year was more focused on working with him in specific readiness areas.

    Reading -- continue with ASDReading (dot com)

    Math -- Miquon

    Writing -- MP Copybook

    History, science, literature -- (tagging along with brother) MP Grade 1 Enrichment, MP Greek Myths

    Religion -- (tagging along with brother) Leading the Little Ones to Mary, Living in God's Law

    Recitation -- Mom-created using Living Memory, MP Recitation, and a few other resources

  15. If he enjoys computers, the site ASDReading (dot com) is great. Although it was created (by Reading Kingdom) for ASD kiddos, after using it with my boys I can say I think it would work well for any child who is more of a visual learner. My 9 year old (dyslexic, ASD) has progressed so, so much over the past two months of using it -- far more than he has in the past two years with OG, frankly.

    Miquon is pretty low cost and great for the younger years for math. 

  16. Our boys do ballet and tap. Boys are 9 and 6 -- but, in the interest of full disclosure, both boys are special needs and are oblivious to that other boys might make fun of them for it. They were the only boys at their last studio (as in, the only boys in the entire studio). The girls in the class were dolls and were exceptionally nice to our boys -- but I did notice that the boys were never invited to outside birthday (or similar) parties or playdates hosted by the girls' parents, like the other (girl) students in the class were, and a couple of the moms declined playdates or were vague with their answers, despite their daughters begging them to allow a playdate with one our boys. 

    So, no advice, really. It doesn't bother our boys in the least, but it's also worth mentioning that my boys' closest friends belong to a family with a teen boy dancer (ballet) -- him and his brother babysat our boys occasionally and were good friends with our teen daughter -- and the younger children in the family, who were friends with our boys, were all girls. So, teasing from them wasn't really a concern. We aren't close to any of my family, really, so our boys rarely see their cousins, and my middle sister would quickly put into place any of the nephews who tried to tease our boys, if I didn't hear it myself, lol.

    • Like 1
  17. We only have one girl (DD16) and she had zero interest in legos. Never asked as a younger child. Occasionally she will indulge her younger brothers (9 and 6) by building with them, but that's about it. Now, she was thoroughly obsessed with Minecraft for a couple years. All of the kids have shared that obsession, lol.

    • Like 1
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