Other posters have pointed the way...the comments from those toxic people aren't really about your house being clean. They feel very uncomfortable and insecure and need to diminish you (no matter what you do) so they can feel safer/better about themselves. Of course your clean house doesn't make it inhospitable. Who would think that? The question in my mind is whether you realize that you have been undermined and attacked for sooo long for absolutely no good reason. It's gotten to the point that you doubt yourself about your perfectly normal/healthy behaviors. ETA: I vote to not explain yourself. In reality, you don't need to justify anything to them. You are allowed to be however you want to be.

Hope you feel better soon! Ice and NSAID's?

We recently sold our house and moved 2000 miles. We're in an apartment while we look for our next house because the lease allows us to break it with a one-month penalty. Financially, this made more sense to us because for unknown reasons an airbnb here for a month was over 7k, a hotel for a month was 5k, and the apartment was under 2k. Packing-wise, I went through the house and packed up everything I knew we could do without and marked those boxes as "Storage". Then I packed the minimal things I wanted access to as "Apartment." We were able to rent a garage at the apartment complex and use it as our storage unit, so if I want to dig through boxes, it's easy to access them.

Many great options have been listed above. Just wanted to note that most of these options for math majors will require some level of coding skills. My hubby was an applied math major (to statistics) and worked in the actuarial field before getting advanced degrees in finance/financial engineering and working in finance.

My oldest is a computer science major currently interning at an investment bank as a software engineer at a rate around $80k/year. If they offer her a job for after graduation, it will be well over 100k in not a HCOL area. My second is an entering sophomore in college but is in a field that will require a master's degree. After her master's, she could earn 80k+ in not a HCOL area.

Trying to understand better here...this sounds like you want a chance to defend yourself or deflect blame (rightfully from your perspective). It sounds like an unhealthy dynamic. I'm assuming the other party isn't changing so it appears (to me) that it does come back to you being able to emotionally disassociate from someone trying to place fault on you. If you can see clearly that this is the other person's issue, can you be at peace with their position while calmly sticking to what you feel to be right?

For an intimate relationship between equals, I don't think explicitly about the degree that feelings are expressed. I think more about the ebb and flow of how much each person's emotional needs are met and whether each person can maturely communicate how they feel that's going. No need to answer me, but from the quotes above, my mind goes to what you can control--the festering and pressure you feel from someone else's emotional state. Is it possible for you to alter how you process another person's unstated emotions? My hubby or kids might be very stressed and anxious and I try to remember that I don't have to join them emotionally, that I can feel peace despite anyone else's emotions.

FSA funds must be spent within that calendar year. HSA funds always roll forwards. There are HSA contribution limits set by the IRS because HSA contributions are tax advantaged (you don't have to pay any income or FICA taxes on it)...similar to 401(k) contribution limits set by the IRS. ETA: Also, you have to have a high deductible health plan to contribute to an HSA fund.

If you saved up 600/mo and invested it and assumed you increased the premium 2% each year, then at the historical rate of increase of the US stock market (10%), you'd have around $1.4 million after 35 years. ETA: if you assumed you could get 8%, it would be around $990K.

My DD20 is on the spectrum and is generally out of sync socially. It's not a matter of whether I should teach her to be neurotypical. From what I can see, that's not possible or desirable. Yes, we try to explicitly address social norms around interactions and get her help for managing her anxiety and sensory issues and on and on and on...But she will always be marching to her own drum in some way. But all the disasters I had in my mind when she went off to college and when she got her first summer internship didn't play out the way I thought. Yes, she struggled her freshman year. Yes, she still has many things to learn to manage. But... she found her own tribe of quirky people who accept her. And her boss at her internship loved her so much she was asked back for a second year. We parents care so much and want to help...but sometimes it's important to catch ourselves catastrophizing and recognize where we have power to influence our children and their outcomes, and where we don't (which honestly is a LOT more than we'd like).

If the curriculum is appreciated by others in my local area, I give it away. Otherwise, it goes in the recycling bin or trash if not recyclable. I value the space in my house and my time more than any money I might recoup in selling things.

Oh noooo. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boy. So many prayers and hugs for you and your family.

So our family recently moved away from southern California. We lived in a zip code that had two major fires in the past three years. From what I understand, the first year it happened, the electric company didn't maintain their equipment well and faulty wiring caused a fire in a wooded canyon area. Then the following year during a wind storm, the electric company pre-emptively shut down power in our area and a family in the canyon ran a generator. Unfortunately, the generator malfunctioned and caught on fire, destroying their house and starting another large fire. Three years ago, we were paying about $2000/year for home owners insurance. Last year our rates went up to $4000/year. When we sold our house, the new owners were having trouble securing an insurance policy, so they went with the California state insurance option (the California FAIR plan) that insures homes that cannot secure regular home owner's insurance. ETA: so California homeowners have a backup option for home owner's insurance.

I don't know if this will be helpful, but my dad was abusive to me growing up. He crossed lines that no normal parent should have. To this day, I feel unsafe around him and my children do not have any contact with him. Yet after I initially broke contact with him (when I became a legal adult), he still has offered to help me financially a couple of times over the following 20 years (this was communicated to me by my mom) because he was also helping my sister at the same time. I felt perfectly comfortable accepting his money, but I still don't feel obligated to have contact with him because it's easy for him to offer money, which he has plenty of. What he doesn't do is acknowledge what he did to me as a child. He doesn't own any of it and will never apologize for anything. I can't trust him and I refuse to expose my real life to him. Maybe you should ask yourself if this gift from your mom addresses the damage she's done to you in the past and continues to do to you now? How does this present signal that she's changing for the better? Are you able to see the situation clearly? Is this small gesture (yes, a birthday present from a mother to her child is a small gesture) supposed to buy your compliance back?

Praying for a good outcome and for comfort and peace for you both. ❤️

I think south Orange County has the most beautiful beach side landscapes. Check out Doheny State Beach in Dana Point. You can park an RV overnight there. Also, San Juan Capistrano and San Clemente are right there and between the three cities, you can find just about any kind of dining you want. Also search out info on Treasure Island Beach and Aliso Beach. You can walk south from Aliso Beach to West Street Beach, which is less crowded but beautiful.

Have you heard of this program called Geogebra? My kids used it for their Math Without Borders geometry class. I think it's like a digital drawing tool for geometry. Maybe Derek Owens would accept something produced in Geogebra for the problems that require physical drawing.

Woohoo! So happy to hear this!!

Zombie

Amazing! Thank you for sharing.

Amazing news!! Congratulations to him!!!

I think I would start thinking about this as an issue of priorities and responsibilities. I first feel a responsibility to my own little family (DH and kids). Ideally my choices reflect them as my top priority. But I literally can't help them if I'm not taking care of myself physically and mentally. So I value self-care to the extent that it keeps me healthy so I can do what I would like to do (support and spend time with my family). My self-care involves stimulating myself intellectually and spiritually, pursuing physical health goals, maintaining supportive friendships, etc...Overall I know where my energies are focused and that I don't serve my family well if I'm not at peace and if I don't value my own well-bring.

So sorry, Laura.

Praying. (Hugs)

Praying