I would tell them the truth so they don't eventually blame themselves. And talk to them about how sometimes people don't do what they say they will do, and that can be very disappointing to the people around them. You also want to be the person they can trust and knowing that you are being honest with them will go a long way.

I would tell them the truth. Or have him tell them if there was any way he would do it. So sorry you are going through this. :(

The first house was built in the 80s, the second in the 90s, both have been updated. I don't think the first house's view will be blocked, because it is a steep grade going down. It is actually closer to the freeway and closer to Shriner's, where we will be spending a lot of time. It is closer to the city as well. It is closer to the grocery store and Starbucks. ;) But not close to a park. I don't think it will snow hardly ever around here, but will get ice sometimes (Portland area). It is not on a long windy steep road as some other houses on hills are. I don't think we would be cleaning the windows ourselves, because they are so high. We would have to hire someone to do that. We did ask our real estate agent to ask what a typical energy bill is for that house. Our kids are 11, 9, and 3 (at home), 4 and 3 (in China). The 4 year old is the one who has spina bifida. We don't really know what his long term mobility will be, but it sounds like he will use a wheelchair. The second (more standard) house will be easier to sell because a lot of people want to go to that elementary school. That house will probably move quickly, which is why we want to make a decision soon! :) If we don't put a bid on the second house, we can probably keep looking for awhile before deciding on the first one.

AK_Mom4, I totally agree! I actually prefer a one-level house. We are renting right now and I hate how often I am looking for something and realize it is on the other level than I am. So frustrating! Unfortunately, around here 95% of homes are two level. The small fraction that are one level are older homes with tiny bathrooms. We saw one that you had to squeeze through the door to get in, then close the door in order to have space to sit on the toilet. It was crazy! The bedrooms in these houses are usually small as well. We can keep looking, but if we buy a month or two from now it will either slowdown the adoption process (we have to update our homestudy) or we would have to carry both house payment and rent through October. :(

Thanks for your input so far! We will definitely not let our little guy be left out. Either house will need an elevator (possibly a lift would be enough in the second house). It would be more challenging with the first house because it has three stories for the elevator to open up to. We would have to get an estimate for that. (Usually an elevator is about $50K, but it may be more for three stories like that). In a way, he may actually be less left out if we have no yard - the other kids won't be running around in the grass without him. We have lots of plasma cars and other wheeled things for all the kids to roll around the garage or playroom in either house. :)

Agh! I need some advice. We are looking at two houses to buy right now. Both have the same number of beds/baths and are in the same school district (different elementary/middle schools, but both good - same high school). One house is up on a hill, has huge windows and a gorgeous view. It is breath-taking! However, it has smaller bedrooms (other than the master) and has two sets of stairs to tackle. It has no lawn, but has a basement for kids to play in. The weather here is not great most of the year for playing outside, but should be nice in the summer. The front lawn is a little Japanese garden. The land is very sloped - no room for a playstructure and no park nearby. The other house is in a regular neighborhood, has front and back lawns on a level lot. Also has stairs, but only one set (no basement). It is a much more standard house in a standard neighborhood. The elementary is rated higher, and although we probably won't use it, is in high demand and houses in this area sell fairly quickly - so if we need to sell down the road, it should be easy. The reason I mention stairs is that we are adopting a little guy who has spina bifida and will likely use a wheelchair. We will need to put in a lift or an elevator for him in either house. We will have 5 kids total, which doesn't seem practical in the first house, though we have room to make it work (the "basement" has access to outside, has a door to a deck and windows, so we could make another bedroom down there to make up for the small bedrooms upstairs). We were planning on putting girls together (3 kids) and boys together (2 kids) and I don't think it would work upstairs - maybe if we squeeze in bunk beds? Anyway, my brain is telling me to go with the second, more practical house. But my heart really wants the first house! Their prices are almost the same. Any help/advice you can give me would be wonderful! P.S. What we've been looking for since last fall is a one-story house, but haven't found any in the area that didn't have ridiculously small bathrooms that would not be able to be made accessible. :(

My oldest has been reading about environmental and other issues and was voicing his opinion that most people are "evil." He is especially angry at anyone who would hurt an animal. I would love some stories for him about good people doing good things, especially things that helped animals (as right now, they are higher on his priority list than people...). :) Any suggestions? He is 11 years old and can read above grade level.

We did a quick run through with SM 3A and 3B before starting BA3 and it worked well. (By quick run through, I mean we read the textbook and did maybe half the problems in the workbook). I didn't feel BA spent enough time on things like long division, but we didn't finish the series so maybe there is more later on. BA3 is quite challenging for the most part and I wouldn't be in any rush to use it. It is probably better to err on the side of waiting longer, so the challenge turns them on to math instead of off of math.

We used the student book with just the odd problems. THere were plenty of problems to work with! :)

My friend and I wrote this music curriculum, but it might be too young for your daughter (it is designed for K-2): http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Playing-with-Music-Elementary-Kindergarten-through-2nd-Grade-1385831 It does have some singing in it, though. Otherwise, maybe a general music class?

Why did your dd apply to college now if she wanted to wait a year?

Thank you so much for the congrats and well wishes! We are very excited, and trying to live through the long wait. At least I can get stronger in the meantime! It sounds like the physical therapist is the way to go. I may have to go through the primary care, anyway - not sure with my insurance. It should be fine, though. The rocking chair is a great idea! Our little one still loves to be carried, but not 24/7 like in China (she actually slept on top of me each night, I really mean 24/7!). She loves the swing, so she would probably love a rocking chair as well. I have been trying to get a kinderpack preschool, but they are very very difficult to buy right now. The Boba is a great idea! We have a Tula, but I don't know if it would be big enough. It was a life-saver in China last time. Before I started using it, my arms were so weak from carrying her that I needed two hands to lift a water bottle to my mouth! It was an experience for sure. Hopefully this time dh can take turns with me. Our dd was terrified of him when we were in China (now she is a total daddy's girl - go figure!). :)

Hi all, We are very exciting to be adopting again from China! We hope to travel around August or September. Last time, we adopted a two year old and I carried her pretty much 24/7 in China. My back was KILLING me. And she was very small for her age. I normally have a small amount of back pain in my mid to upper back all the time (since my teens - I think mild scoliosis and bad posture caused it). The little guy we are adopting will be just turning 5 and will probably be the size of an American 4 year old. I don't know if he will need that much carrying, but I would like to carry him some. He has a special need that means he will be in a wheelchair, so I imagine I will be carrying him a lot and helping lift him for quite awhile. I would like to build strength and reduce upper/middle back pain. Who do I go to for help in this area? Do I go to an orthopedist? physical therapist? personal trainer? chiropractor? someone else? Any advice/experience would be great! I want to be well prepared to care for our little guy. :)

The City of Ember was our most popular read aloud by far. The kids actually groaned when we would stop for the day. The also loved Half Magic and we went on to read some of the sequels as well.

Oh yeah, MILs! Actually, my MIL is very nice. But everytime we are staying at their place (east coast) and I get up at like 9:30, she says "It must be nice to sleep in!" and I really want to say back "It is 6:30 in the morning California time!"

50,002 baby! :D Have any of the past winners taken advantage of the free book publishing? How did it go? Has anyone made a cover for their novel?

Whew! I am at 46,000. Unfortunately, my store is wrapping up despite me. I'll have to beef it up somehow to reach 50K. I agree that November is not a good month. I resisted NaNoWriMo last year because I knew how busy November can be. This year we are even more busy, but I just really wanted to do it!

We are listening to Hakim's "A History of Us" on audiobook (which we could get online from our library).

My dh and kids have it an really enjoyed it. No complaints from them! I'm not really a board game person, so I don't know...

Are you all hanging in there? DD finished - though her word count goal was the smallest. I'm still working, but a little bit behind. DS is trying to finish before me, LOL!

what else do you think she would like? Looking for Christmas ideas for our littlest one. :)

I don't have answers to your original question, since I only have 3 kids. :D You probably know more than me. But I think being aware of this issue and making a plan together is most of the battle. I do want to address the negative adoption talk on this board. It is important to be aware of possible issues - of course it is. But please don't be scared off from adoption. Adding any child to a family carries some risk. If someone's bio child had autism or behavior issues or another need like this - people wouldn't be warning everyone to really think it through before ever committing to having a biological child. Yes, any child can come with more issues than you were expecting. An adopted child could have RAD, but most don't. Even children who do have much more severe issues than expected, it is very rare for someone to say they regret adopting the child at all. I have adopted twice so far. One had a harder transition than the other. Both were easier than my bio child who had colic as an infant and didn't sleep through the night until 3 years old. So yes, adding a child is going to be tough but it will be tough no matter how you do it. Or it might not be bad at all. From what I've heard, going from 4 to 5 isn't that big of a deal. But I've never done it, so I don't know!

How is everyone doing? I am only about half way through. But I have to finish because I told my kids we would do it together. Ack! Trying not to write jibberish... LOL

My kids enjoyed Simply Music DVDs. It is a different approach, though - not teaching reading of music, but just the playing. The kids had fun learning the songs and I think they developed an ear for what chords sounded good, timing, etc. But, it was more of a beginning, get the kids interested kind of thing.

Amazon is having 25% off certain toys when you use your Amazon visa (up to $50 total off). The code is TYS25ARC. It works on the Lego Mindstorm EV3! So you can get $50 off. Hope that helps someone!