My DS loves Legos and makes fantastic builds from his own ideas. He recently admitted that he did want to move up to Mindstorms but had said he didn't like them to spare us the expense. So we're going to save up for that. He's also very interested in acting. I take him to plays and other performances when I can. He's also doing acting classes. Last fall he won an Exceptional Performer award that got him preferred placement in his current acting class. This performance will be his first for a paying audience (as opposed to just adoring family members). He's introverted and anxious but that doesn't stop him from performing.

I hope you enjoy them; they've been good for my son. I've ordered twice in the last year, and the order was incorrect both times. Whoever prints and ships for them in the U.S. isn't very good. The company, however, has been very good to work with and fixed both problems with minimal hassle.

A child doesn't have to have hyperactivity to have ADHD. There is also ADHD: Inattentive Type, which is one of my DS's diagnoses. He also has anxiety, so one kid can have both. If it turns out he does have ADD and anxiety, Ritalin and other stimulants used to treat ADHD will almost certainly make his anxiety worse. Our pediatrician tried a very low dose of one of the stimulants when my DS was in 3rd grade. Shortly thereafter, he announced to his 3rd grade class that he was going to kill himself. Straterra is one of the few drugs for the Inattentive type of ADD, and it often does not aggravate anxiety. My DS has been on it for several years now, and it's been a big help. Before our pediatrician tried any medications, she referred us to a psychologist for thorough testing and to confirm her diagnosis of ADD. She also mentioned that the ADD could be accompanied by other things, for example, bipolar. Or, in our case, anxiety. So I agree with other posters about an evaluation.

I found the best thing we've been doing with Art of Argument is discussing the fallacies and my DS's answers to the questions. So I have him read a section and work on the exercises on Tuesday. Then we discuss on Thursday. We didn't do much discussion earlier in the year, and his understanding and enjoyment of logic has shot up since we started. I think the only part he likes better is designing his own ads to illustrate fallacies. You'll have an added advantage in that you'll have a small group discussion. That should make the discussion portion even more valuable. He is in 7th grade, but he's 2E and in some ways a little immature for his age. That hasn't proven to be a problem for him.

:iagree: IMO, I think it's natural to go through a grieving process when we find out we don't have the child we thought we had. It doesn't mean that our children are a lost cause. It does mean that our kids will be going in a new direction, and it may end up end in a great place. In the meantime, we have lots of work to do to help them. :grouphug:

I think it's going to depend on the ps. I only started homeschooling last year, when my DS was in the middle of a disastrous 6th grade. In 3rd through 5th grades, my DS had good 504 plans. Then we changed to middle school. The teachers said repeatedly that "all kids this age are like this" and "we do that for all the kids." His 504 was gutted. He was so confused that he sometimes didn't know which class he was in (was that academic enrichment or language arts?), and he ended up with over 50% fewer accommodations. So it's not just getting one, it's getting one that actually addresses your child's needs. Having done the process with three different ps, the process can be much more discretionary than it should be.

I'll chime in and agree with the other posters who recommend an evaluation. It'll help you help your child so much more effectively. My DS is gifted with LDs. We didn't get his ADD diagnosed until 3rd grade, after I convinced my DH that what we needed wasn't more discipline. By 5th grade, additional testing revealed multiple LDs and Aspergers. Before then, my DS was using his brains to hide his deficits. That gets much more difficult as children get older.

My son has different issues (ADD, low working memory, AS), but the WWE 4 dictations were also too much for him. Because he needs to practice his handwriting anyway, he does the dictation as copywork for two days. Then we do it as dictation. It has helped a lot. We're only doing one dictation per week. If I'd switched to shorter dictation pieces, I'd probably still do two.

My DS is in 7th grade, and we're dealing with some of these issues. He has ADHD - Inattentive Type, Aspergers, LDs, and he's gifted. His academic problems got worse as he got older; sixth grade was awful. That was when I pulled him out of ps and started homeschooling. We're using WWE4. I took someone's suggestion from this board and he does one of the dictations per week (not two). Before he does it, he does two days of that same piece as copywork. (We had a big improvement in handwriting this year with HWT cursive, so I don't want him to lose that.) That's helping a lot with the dictations. When he does summaries, I've started letting him write them without trying to get him to memorize them verbally first, and his summaries are usually decent. So I don't see the value in trying to force him to memorize the summary first. I don't think WWE is playing to his strengths though, so I am planning to change writing curriculum for next year. It'll probably be IEW, despite the frightful cost. I've taken OhElizabeth's advice, and we'll soon be starting the first Executive Function book from Linguisystems. I bought it during the recent sale. My DS has been on Straterra for several years now. It's been very helpful with his focusing problems, and it doesn't aggravate his anxiety the way the Ritalin family of drugs do. He fought for a break from it a couple of months ago because he felt it stifled his creativity. Perhaps it does, but he is still incredibly creative when he's on it. The hiatus was a disaster, and he's back on his meds. His neurologist has also put him on a sleep med. because his insomnia (not tied to the Straterra) was aggravating his migraines. Before the Straterra, we did try caffeine. It wasn't enough for my DS, but it might be enough for your child. My husband has ADD and it helps him, plus several of his co-workers self-medicate their ADHD with caffeine successfully. My DS has really bad reactions to sugar: mood changes, irritability, more migraines, more focus problems. We revamped our diet this month and are eating a much more healthy diet. We had a very unfun sugar detox with him. That plus hormones is pretty awful. Exercise is really important. Some days I have to make it an order, but it helps his mood and concentration so much. I also have quiet fidgets for him from The Therapy Shoppe. And if he gets too jumpy or frustrated, I'll have him take a break. Depending on the situation, it may be to go downstairs and do jumping jacks or it might be to read a book for fun. We use timers for that sort of thing so a 15 minute break doesn't spin out into an hour break. MUS (we started in Alpha this school year) and Apples and Pears Spelling have been very successful for us. Before this year, math was his worst and most hated subject. He still struggles, but he loves math now and is doing much better. While he'll never be a great speller, I think A&P may get him to the point where spell check will be helpful. Before this year, his spelling was so awful that spell check was utterly useless. I'm still doing a lot of the planning and organization for school. At his age, he should be doing more, but he isn't ready. I'm going to try for more of that next year.

I had to turn to my own therapist when I was dealing with someone with BPD. I remember she also said it wasn't diagnosed until 18. (Doubtless this falls under "there's an exception to every rule.") I'm glad you're taking their problems seriously and have them in counseling. I wish I could offer more help, but my relationship with my friend with BPD was deteriorating rapidly and could not be saved. :grouphug:

:iagree: Having personally experienced normal high activity boys of this age and an ADHD one, there really is a difference in frequency and severity of undesirable behavior. (I should have realized something was up when my second son stopped sleeping at 6 months. We couldn't take him out into public for 18 months because of the meltdowns.) I really like the video tape idea, unless you have a child who'll change his behavior because of the camera. Considering that evaluations can be so expensive, I think getting a recommendation from the pediatrician and starting over is a better idea than paying someone who's blowing you off to evaluate your kid. If a certain "professional" doesn't want to see a diagnosis, she may not see it regardless of test results.

The only social issues for an ADHD child I've read about are problems from trying to hard to engage with other children, often the "H" part of them getting in the way. These is a big overlap with the ADHD diagnosis and Aspergers. Tony Attwood estimates that 75 percent of Aspies have ADHD as well. My DS was diagnosed as ADD in third grade and the Aspergers diagnosis was added in late fourth grade. The social groups we've done have been directed at Aspies and have been through the psychologist's office. Does your son seem to have any distress about wanting friends but not having them? Have you observed anything to indicate why he leaves the activities before the other kids arrive? He could be avoiding them because he needs those social skills or even because kids have bullied or teased him in the past for social awkwardness. However, it is quite possible that he's naturally introverted. Introverts need much less social interaction to be happy than extroverts do. A group or party situation is usually fun for the extroverts and horrid over stimulation for the introverts. And it's awful to be an introvert with parents trying to change you into an extrovert; it won't work. (I speak from experience.) If it turns out to be introversion, my therapist is touting the new book Quiet. It's on my to read list and talks about the positives of the introverted personality. I'm sorry I can't answer the question. I think you need to do some more digging about why he's that way. That may involve the psychologist again. And does your son enjoy one on one play with other children? If he's having difficulty there too, he's may be either painfully shy on top of being introverted or have the social awkwardness Aspies do. IMO, the museum thing was probably the poor impulse control of his ADHD. Why keep up with the group when what he was doing was more interesting?

One of the huge advantages to homeschooling is knowing your child. I understand the issue with Aspies and ambiguity; they don't mix well.

I could only buy one and went with the EF book. That's where my son's worst problems are, which is how I made my decision. I hope you have success with whichever you decide to go with.

So true. The only advantage with the TM is to save a bit of time answering the questions. They're generally not that hard though. I've made do with a mis-matched set. I have the current edition of the TM and the previous edition of the book itself. We do it twice a week. My DS works mostly independently on Tuesdays and then presents his findings on Thursdays. That's when he supports his answers and we have our discussions. I didn't do it that way at first, and the study wasn't nearly as valuable.

When I started homeschooling my DS last year, he was in 6th grade. I tried R&S 6, and it was a disaster. We're doing R&S 5 this year, and it's going much better. Having seen both texts, I can attest that there is a big jump between 5 and 6. So, I'd start with 5. It will most likely avoid frustration.

I have looked at it since I'm comfortable with writing and editing. I've worked with adults and high school students on writing, but not middle school SN kids. Right now, I'm not sure how best to proceed to get him where he needs to be. (It's sad that I'm doing a better job with math instruction when that was always my worst subject.)

:bigear: I'd love to hear about this one too. I was thinking about getting it in addition to the EF book.

Thank you for the ideas so far; please keep them coming. :) Tokyomarie, I'm going to take advantage of the sale this week at Linguisystems so that I can do something formal about working memory. I really like the idea of using the dictation for copy work. We've finished his curriculum for handwriting, so he needs something to practice on. I'll have to check out the Daily Grams, I don't know what they are. I tried some editing exercises last year, but I now realize he simply didn't know enough. It might be more successful this time around. heart'sjoy, I think it's time for another editing checklist. I had that last year along with the editing exercises that were useless. Now that he knows some grammar, a checklist might actually work. Plus I now know what grammar and punctuation he's been working on. I attended a presentation on IEW. Aside from the cost, I was also concerned because I thought I read a thread here that discouraged use of IEW if you had a creative writer. (He's not one of the Aspies with low imagination; he has enough for several kids.) Does that ring a bell with anyone? The structure part would be wonderful. When we were doing writing prompts this fall as an informal writing program, he'd take a topic worthy of a paragraph or more and do two sentences. So did I imagine that or perhaps other people haven't had that kind of experience with IEW? I'll also check again for threads on that.

My husband's an artist, and the medications didn't have any negative impact on his creativity. Also, he can usually hyper focus on his art, even without the meds. The meds did improve his personality in that he was better able to focus on his day job (not creative) and that reduced his stress level. They helped him be a more relaxed version of himself (MIA for a few years), but that's it. He wasn't a different person by any means.

I was going to let mine finish out the semester. Fortunately, I took the advice of some people on a yahoo group I'd joined and pulled him out immediately, just before Thanksgiving. Our state laws allowed it and it removed him from a bad situation. I'm very glad I didn't wait.

My DS is in 7th grade. His grammar and punctuation was so poor when I started homeschooling him in the middle of last year that I didn't do anything formal until this January. (We've been doing R&S 5 for grammar this year, after my disastrous attempt to do R&S 6 last year.) So we've started WWE 4. He can do good verbal summaries, but he's never going to be memorizing them (low working memory). He does the dictations but only because I don't follow the read three times and stop rule. The situation isn't a disaster, but I'm wondering if this is helping him. I'm not looking to make a change this year, but I have my doubts about finishing WWE 4 next fall. And if I do, what do I do next? Or what do I do instead? He's very imaginative and is not a reluctant writer. He's an extremely reluctant editor though, but he's made progress since we started homeschooling. I'm comfortable doing writing instruction or editing with my DH or my 16 yo DS, but I feel I'm blundering about with the child who really needs my help. Please feel free to post old threads. I do try to search and very often don't find anything helpful, but I bet it's out there.

As others have said, it could be Aspergers. Symptom lists usually describe only the boys. Because I think I'm an Aspie, I've done some reading aimed particularly for female Aspies. My favorite is Aspergirls. Tony Attwood did a book specifically targeted at girls, Aspergers and Girls. My husband saw a presentation from the author of Aspergers in Pink. She was very informative, but I haven't read much of the book. (It's probably the pink thing; I hate pink.) Doubtlessly the last thing you want to do is more reading, but those are some suggestions if you decide to do research. Work on helping her get enough sleep, and hang in there till your eval.

Exercise does help for both sub-types. My DS and DH are Inattentive, and it's very helpful. Some adults self-medicate with caffeine and that's enough. Definitely ask for a copy of the report. It may contain more useful information, and you can also pass it on to your husband's PCP (primary care physician). Meds can be very helpful. I wish my husband would take his more regularly. When he takes them and the insurance company blesses it, he takes Welbutrin. It addresses more than just the ADD, so it's not going to be for everyone. My DH has extra loads of stress from a dysfunctional work place that he can't leave for now, my disability, our SN DS, and on. I'd go to your husband's PCP for the first talk about medications, especially if there's a long term relationship there. Psychiatrists meet patients for 15 - 20 minutes with subsequent 15 minute visits to adjust the medication. I'm the only one in the family who's had to see a psychiatrist, and I have a horror story from the good one. I think part of the problem is that many areas have too few, so they're overworked and the good ones aren't taking new patients. A good PCP will be treating your husband as a whole person which will be helpful.

Some days it really helps my DS. I can't concentrate, but that won't be a problem until/unless he wants to use music more. Once you know the type of music that works for your child, go for it. It's usually classical or something from Cirque de Soleil for us.