cin
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Posts posted by cin
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We had a grandparent who did the same thing. We would buy the girls just a couple of simple things and then grandma would buy them everything else. Now grandma is gone and the girls always had so much fun with all grandma's stuff. Plus, we are approaching the time when the children will no longer want toys. With those two things in mind, we went all out this year and bought too much. But my love language is gifts also, and it would be hard for me to NOT buy them lots of stuff.
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You know, DH and I have a very small family. Actually we have NO family, except a few distant cousins and our two kids. Sometimes I wish we had more family, but then again, I'm really glad we don't, No fighting or bickering, we do what we want on the holidays....We've actually talked about taking a cruise next year over Christmas! Just because we can.
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I love the one of announcing it at the group picture. So you can get everybody's reaction! What a GREAT picture!
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I was done until II took my kids to see santa last night. DD8 added one more thing to her list, as did dd11. To keep the dream alive for dd8, I have to go find a Big Stuffed Dog that you can sleep on and something from the lego creator series. Such common items! :smilielol5:
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When I get the stuff wrapped, it will be a book titled 'The History of Farts' and a whopee cushion for DH. The girls thought it would be great for daddy. :rolleyes:
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6. IF this is implemented, with whom do we fill the classrooms vacated by teachers who would rather quit their job than carry a loaded weapon? Surely there would be a mass exodus of educators leaving the profession. So who covers the shortages?
astrid
This might not be a problem. Teachers who have left the field because they felt unsafe might well return if they can pack heat and feel safer.
Not saying I agree or disagree.
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I went to the grocery store last night to stock up on food for Christmas Break. I was SO afraid I'd run into somebody I know. My cart had spaghetti-os, crappy, sugary cereal, NO vegetables or fruits, campbell's soups, frozen pancakes and waffles, pop tarts, and other miscellaneous prepared foods. All so I wouldn't have to cook much over the next 2 or 3 weeks. In my defense, I am suppose to be cleaning out the house and getting it decluttered so we can put it on the market near the end of January. We will be renting a storage facility. My next task is to go steal boxes out of the carboard recycling bin. And hit up the liquor store for boxes for all the books!
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I feel badly for that mother. i imagine she was unable to get adequate help for her son. (I think this is safe to assume) But you just don't place a gun into an emotionally unstable person's hands.
This article from 'The Anarchist Soccer Mom's Blog is a PRIME example of how hard it is to get help. These kids don't belong in Jail. They haven't committed any crimes. Yet.
Michael holding a butterfly In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.
Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
“I can wear these pants,†he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
“They are navy blue,†I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.â€
“They told me I could wear these,†he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!â€
“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,†I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.â€
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.
We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.
Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?â€
“No way,†I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.â€
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,†he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.â€
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?†he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?â€
“You know where we are going,†I replied.
“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!â€
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,†I said. “Hurry.â€
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—“Were there any difficulties with....at what age did your child....were there any problems with...has your child ever experienced...does your child have....â€
At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.
For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.â€
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?†I wrote, “I need help.â€
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am Jason Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.
According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map). Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.
When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,†he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.â€
I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population. (http://www.hrw.org/news/2006/09/05/us-number-mentally-ill-prisons-quadrupled)
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail, and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011 (http://www.npr.org/2011/09/04/140167676/nations-jails-struggle-with-mentally-ill-prisoners)
No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.â€
I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
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This article explains that he was likely pulled out of public school at some point during 10th grade and then homeschooled after that (sounds like his mom had issues with the school district):
I haven't read the rest of the thread, but the impression that I got from the report that I heard was that the district was not meeting his educational needs so she pulled him. Of course I am on the other side of the school spectrum. :p
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§ I have ADD
§ My kids hear swear words, but I don't know if they realize that they are 'bad' words.
§ I am addicted to McDonald's French Fries and Dr. Pepper
§ I am extremely lazy and out of shape.
§ I have two large containers of Christmas decorations sitting next to me, and I have no intention of emptying them.
§ I have probably purchased 6 -8 workbooks to replace lost ones. Only to find them the day after the new one comes in the mail, and has been written in.
§ I wish I could sleep 10 hours a day.
§ I love my oldest daughter to death, but there are days when I cannot stand to be in the same room with her. And when she was younger, I probably would have sent her back if I could have.
§ Said child is on prozac and concerta. I hate it, but it makes her life easier. And mine.
§ My husband does most of the laundry and has a MAJOR role in the care of our girls.
§ I live with chronic back pain.
§ We don't have pre-set screen limits. When it's time to turn it off, I will tell them.
§ Dh an I spoil our girls horribly, but justify it with the fact that they have no grandparents, aunts or uncles.
§ I rarely fix vegetables. This is why we juice.
§ I only read brain candy, WHEN I get to read
§ We are currently about 3 mos behind in science and history, and are sprinting over Christmas break.
§ I wear sweats with no underwear until I have to leave the house (unless it’s just a drive by!)
§ I have a really high IQ, (REALLY high) but it means nothing. I barely graduated from High School. (ADD)
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My two are adopted and are obviously a different race than I am. The only remark that has really crossed the line was someone asking if they are sisters. With the two girls standing there. I just said yup and quickly walked away. Really? Do you need to give my child ideas? I'm sure I'll have enough problems with 2 girls during puberty, please don't help them out!
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actually it's been 23 years. I was too upset to when I posted.
École Polytechnique?
:grouphug:
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Ours is kept in the house, as a pet, like a hamster. She is in her cage most of the time, but the girls take her out periodically to cuddle. The cage needs to be cleaned twice a week or so. Just like hamsters. Her cage is on hardwood, and in the area between our kitchen and family room, so she gets lots of attention. I don't think they are much more trouble than hamsters or gerbils, but ours is a smaller rabbit. I guess that might make a difference.
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Since the only time I get to sit down and read is at bedtime, I read braincandy. I try to make it a bit intellectual by reading series that are set in a certain era and picking up little tidbits about history. They are all mysteries. I've read most of the Amelia Peabody series and the SPQR series. Currently I'm reading through a Knights Templar series.
Despite all the mysteries I've read, Miss Marple are still my favorite! I can't wait to share them with my daughter, who also loves mysteries.
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We have a small rabbit, a lion head angora. It has been the best thing that ever happened for our girls. She lives in a cage in our home. the girls will take her out and play with her. They will carry her around like a baby, sit and pet her, and she just lets them. I liken her to a therapy bunny. She even lays on her back on their lap, and lets them pet her belly. If she is loose in the house, she will chew on stuff. We give her paper or cardboard to chew on and that helps. But she did chew through my laptop power cord.
Her cage needs cleaned about twice a week and when she is out, she 'drops things' everywhere. Rabbits make about 500 turds a day. Dietary-wise they need Timothy Hay, as it has all the nutrients they need (or some such thing) and they have a salt wheel and a vitamin/mineral wheel. Ours hates carrots, but LOVES raisins and cranberries. But we do limit how many she gets each day so that she eats her timothy hay.
Just looked over at the bunny on my daughter's lap. His back legs are on her legs, but she is holding her up with the front legs and doing the cha cha cha cha chaaa hey. While making the bunny dance. And the rabbit is totally and completely relaxed. I sometimes wonder about the bunny's brain.
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I didn't read all the of the responses after DD posted, but it sounds like you are dealing with 2 different things, both related to your cycle.
Everything irritates me and I am usually pretty unexplainably mad at the world, even if I don't want to be. I also am super nauseated every day for most of these two weeks, I get mild cramping, and lots of headaches, including light & sound sensitivity.This sounds like migraine. There are meds out there specifically for migraines, or you can try some of the OTC migraine things. Basically they are the painkiller (ibup. naproxyn or aspirin) and caffeine.
The cramping though....oh my goodness honey, I feel for you. I have been like that all my life until about 6 years ago when I went on the pill with no break. I have 2 periods a year and even then, they are better than they were. I can tell you from experience that the pills today are much lower dosages than they were even 20 years ago. When I first got married I went on the pill and if I skipped one it was no big deal. Now if I miss one, I start having symptoms within 12-24 hours. And by symptoms I mean tired, crampy and mean.
When I was in high school I took prescription strength alleve (sodium naproxyn). I can't remember, but I think 550 mg was the number. It worked great if I took it at the FIRST SIGN of cramps. It is a large dose, but I only took it for 3 days a month, so I wasn't too bothered by long term effects. While I understand you not wanting to go on the pill, my OBGYN said most of the side effects are rare, unless you smoke. And one time my PCP told me that if someone in a study gets sick while taking the medication (whatever it is) they have to mention it in the paperwork. I'm not trying to minimalize your fears, but just put them in perspective.
I too, try to stay away from medications and do the organic thing. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked for several things. And this is one of them. I am 47, and I am dreading the day when my OB takes away The Pill. He said I can take it safely until I'm 50. It has made SUCH a change in my life.
Also, if you do have endometriosis, it will inhibit the growth and might even cause the growths to shrink. Sometimes being a girl sucks! I have friends who go through life 'embracing' their periods as a symbol of their femininity. Yeah. I can embrace my femininity in many other ways, thank you very much. That is not feminine to me. It's torture. Nothing short of it.
ETA: I would definitely make sure to see an OBGYN. One without a condescending attitude towards women. And I would push for, at the very least, an ultrasound or scan of some sort to check for fibroids & endometriosis.
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I put away all my big bowls and plates and started making them use small side bowls and plates that came with the set for just that reason. It was really ticking me off that half of every bowl or plate was in the sink when I went to do dishes. Multiplied by 10 kids, that almost another meal! Grrrr!
My girls are to use the Ikea bowls and cups. They don't break AND the girls don't take as much food. And then throw it away....
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I wish my girls played with this kind of stuff. I haven't been able to find anything that they play with that has a 'building' focus. But they do play with their Calico Critters.
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i was in the ER 2 weeks ago for my daughter, in VA (also, i guess, the south). I soon realized that I had sat opposite from a family - apparently there was a small child with . .. what is it, SCV, CVS .. some infection thats a common serious thing with infants? I think both of the baby's parents were there, at least one set of grandparents, an aunt, and some other guy around the parents age . . . they were all saying how glad they were that they'd decided to come to the ER, and just kinda giving each other atta-boys. I was pretty surprised . . . most of the groups in this waiting room were only 2-3 people. But it wasnt really that big a waiting room, i was pretty surprised. there were a number of small kids there, and it was 11 pm
RSV? RSV is a serious, sometimes fatal respiratory infection that hits babies who are more vulnerable to begin with. My friend had a preemie and he was hospitalized with RSV several times in his first 2 or 3 years. They always had several family members at their house and thus, at the ER because they needed help with the older kids. The baby was always sick and going back and forth to the Dr./ER.
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Doing o.k. Really have to fight the urge to be upset today. The speech people called me and revised his scoring and he has a 24% delay in expressive language. All the other areas of development they tested were either on target or very, very ahead. So, not only do I worry about his growth, but now I worry about his speech. I don't know really what this means and what I need to do to help him(he's 18 months). My other two boys never had any delay with anything..ever...
I'm tried working with him today, but it seems he doesn't want to respond to my *teaching*. Maybe he can tell I'm getting frustrated, I don't know. He did learn two new things yesterday. He said ho, ho, ho for Santa which was great. The Speech lady said he scored *poorer* because he didn't call me mama. He will give me something if his dad says, "give it to mama" but he doesn't address me as mama ever...
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about his speech at this level either. My oldest daughter was way behind in her speech at 3 yr old. I received a referral to Head Start. I asked my Study Group to pray for her and honestly, she hasn't shut up since then. The pediatrician now says that it was probably because of her high IQ and perfectionism. She wouldn't do it until she could do it right. I tend to agree.
Also, as far as growth goes, i have a string bean. As the ped. says, She's not even a string bean, she's the STRING on the bean. So her height and weight are NOT proportional. At all. But she follows her curve.
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DD8 says Copper or Penny DD11 says Brownie. They are not real original.
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This is on my to-do list over Christmas break. And I'm dreading it. REALLY dreading it.
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I have no idea. It was traditional wedding music, so probably Canon in D.But I know one friend's recessional was Steven Curtis Chapman's 'Great Adventure'. Everybody loved it!
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We bought a CD YEARS ago that is hammered dulcimer and some other 'old fashioned' instruments. I think it's called a Smokey Mountain Christmas. I absolutely LOVE it. There are no voices, just the instruments. That and the classic 'Sing Along with Mitch Miller'.
What has changed for you this year?
in The Chat Board
Posted
It's been a tumultuous year for us. But it's all been for the better. It started out with MIL's passing in February. DD's anxiety went through the roof during that time, so we started her on prozac, which fortunately, worked GREAT! It was busy too. We were doing OT, Speech, and Counseling every week, along with piano and gymnastics.
Now though, we've graduated from all the therapies, and DD is also on concerta for her ADD. This Christmas break, I've taken the girls on several field trips, because we had TIME and because DD is so much easier to live with.
Next year, 2013 is the year that I start taking care of myself. I can finally get to the gym a couple of days a week, and the girls are old enough to leave alone for 90 minutes. I have neglected my health for the past oh, 10 years (since DD came home), so now it's *MY* turn!