I will raise an eyebrow at the lack of jail time. However, 10 years of probation is, as a practical matter, a whole lot of rope to hang himself with. He will face revocation proceedings and probably more serious consequences for ANY offense, and in many states any probation violation resets the registry clock as well, even if it's not a sex offense. The purpose of sex offender registry is supposed to be to protect the public, not to punish offenders, and so should be evidence-based on the individual's recidivism risk. The lower level registration appears, from my understanding of criminal justice research on recidivism plus what I know of the case from the news, to be evidence-based and targeted. Odds are, if he doesn't re-offend in the next decade, he's not likely to at all. People do change. Not all types of sex offenders are at high risk of re-offending.

You could scan them first.

I don't watch any TV that involves "personalities." I get my news from NPR and stick to scripted television for the most part (and not even much of that these days). Every now and then I'll binge watch a home improvement or reality show that catches my attention, but not if the people in them annoy me.

Take him to the ER. When my DD escalating to "has a plan" and disclosed it to her therapist, she gave us two options: have the county MH crisis team come in, or take DD to an ER. We chose to go to the ER at the children's hospital because that hospital is familiar to DD and she was more comfortable with that option. We were advised on a safety plan and told to get her in to her regular psychiatrist ASAP. The next week, our totally awesome PNP then made an adjustment to her meds and she's doing much better. An ER visit should trigger referrals, if it's documented that you reported the escalation to a plan and the psychiatrist isn't taking suicidal ideation seriously. Counseling along with meds IS a good idea, fwiw. But if a kid is on meds and escalating suicidality, those meds in my experience need changed/adjusted.

My DD has a mood disorder, and we have had to be careful about what ADHD meds she takes. Some are flat-out not good options when there are other issues. She has also always taken them along with other psych meds. Currently she takes focalin, which works well for her, and she's on 3 other meds for anxiety/mood. My younger brother who is adopted (and drug-exposed in utero to meth) has ADHD with rage issues, but has been doing very well with the right other psych med put together with the ADHD medication. At the eval, be honest, make sure they get a very complete history, and hopefully they can help you find some better solutions!

My mom makes an orange jello salad with cottage cheese and jello powder (no actual set jello involved) and I think coconut and canned mandarin oranges and marshmallows. Everyone loves it except me. But then I can't stand cottage cheese at all. Now that my sisters have taken over doing most of the cooking at Thanksgiving, they still ask her to make this stuff! She doesn't make it any other time, though.

The coupon you can get through your prescribing doctor limits the copay to $25 (assuming the copay without it is within some number I don't recall--it does have a maximum cap on the difference it will cover). This has made it just barely affordable for me. (And if the doc didn't keep us supplied with samples for one of DD's meds, I'd have had to give it up for something cheaper and generic that might not work as well to pay for DD's meds).

Well, the conversation went much better than I feared it would. At least initially and to me, DD wasn't bothered by the idea at all. She agreed that it was a good idea. She was determined to go on the trip regardless but had been worried about keeping up, and now she knows they have her back.

Arctic mom: First, I wouldn't bash you for being in a different head space on this topic. I'm personally glad there are options that make it possible for DD to go, and not have to sit it out the way she did the troop's backpacking trips. But these feelings are there and I needed to work through them. Second: you misgendered me. That should read "his explanation of his DD's feelings about the situation.

Contributing factors are not the same thing as excuses.

That's the kind of defendant statement that I, if I was the person's defense attorney and I had an inkling it would come out of his mouth, I'd just tell him he's better off saying nothing at all. 🙄

If I had a do-over with my DD, with whom we had similar problems at that age, I'd have looked into ADHD meds much, much sooner.

Good effing grief. I hope the trial resolves everything and the judge rakes him over the coals for you! One way or another, I hope you are able to finally move on without the albatross afterward.

I understand. I usually go for "they know I'm socially inept anyway" and just prioritize what I think is most important (love to DD, introductions) and interrupt. I get a bit of a feeling that you were so focused on accommodating everyone that you got overwhelmed. A dose of assertiveness might help. Can't get a word in edgewise? Interrupt and take charge. Also, I went and got on ADHD medication at the age of 41 and it's helped a lot. With the meds, I'm much better and dealing with a lot being thrown at me at once, triaging tasks, and focusing on what's in front of me without forgetting everything else in the process or getting overwhelmed.

NorthwestMom, If we were considering one of us going along (realistically, it would be me), I might check on some of that, but my 15 year old 100% is not going to want me along on this trip. It's her thing, to do with her troop and friends and I would be a drag. She's not going to want to fall behind the group with me. The wheelchair is the best option, it will ensure she is included, and I am confident the troop leaders and girls will help her with it. I do think I'm going to go ahead and register myself along with DD next year, so that if another activity she would benefit from my help and want me along, it's already in place. I'm sure the troop can always use more background-checked chaperones as well. I can't volunteer on a regular basis, as I'm at work when the regular troop meetings happen, but I can certainly help with more of the weekend stuff.

Another vote for Evolution, especially the Climate Change version (also available as an expansion for the base game).

Me too, but I'm not comfortable asking the troop leader to take that stance.

I would not want to count on her being coordinated and calm enough to not fall on her butt or hip while using such a thing. Also, she's not likely to be a fan of carrying something extra.

Yes, I think it is likely that my teenager who wants to go do the fun stuff with her friends will feel singled out because of the chair. I also think that in the long run, she will feel special and included by the effort they will likely put in to keeping her with them in the chair...but that won't help much with that initial conversation.

The idea would be they would push her. Also, many folks here have given information that would be very useful in Florida. I wasn't specific in my original post--they're going to Universal Studios Hollywood--much closer to home (which is AZ, I just realized it's not in my profile)!

The rules state that the "operator" has to be 18. I will probably call them to double check on that. If I can get an exception with a doctor's note or something, I will.

The cost would be significant. One place I checked delivers to your hotel or whatever, and usually require a minimum 2 day rental, for over $120. I also doubt the troop, which is vanpooling in several large vehicles with no extra room and on a very tight itinerary, wouldn't be able to go pick one up from anywhere, or transport it from the camp to the park and back if I arrange delivery there. Pushing DD around would be less hassle for them.

DD has fibromyalgia. They are going with their Girl Scout troop on a cookie-sales-reward trip to Universal Studios in May. The leader is concerned about DD's ability to keep up with the group on what is going to be a long day of fun involving a lot of standing and walking with a packed itinerary. We were given 3 options: 1. Reserve and pay for a wheelchair rental for DD. Presumably when necessary her friends or the leaders will push her. 2. DH or I go along, to stay with DD if (when) she falls behind. This would require buying a ticket, driving out there (no room in the vanpool for an extra person) and finding our own overnight accommodations (no non-Girl Scout add-ons allowed at the camp where they will be staying). We definitely don't have the money for that and I am 100% certain DD doesn't want a parent along. 3. DD not go. The leadership team was clear that this is NOT the option they want to see happen. As a practical matter, this means finding a way to sell the wheelchair idea to DD. Coming up with $15 is not a problem. But having to tell DD she needs the accommodation really, really sucks. She has opted out of some of the troop's activities (backpacking trips) because she doesn't think she'll be able to keep up, or if she somehow did, she'd be utterly miserable and not enjoy it, and we've made other accommodations (ex: she gets a cot when we go camping; DS and I sleep on mats), but a wheelchair is just...a new and different step. She is really looking forward to the Universal Studios trip, though. It makes my heart hurt. Also: you have to be 18 to operate a rental electric scooter at Universal Studios. I question the fairness of that restriction. DD is 15, adult sized. As it is, her only option is a manual chair. A scooter would be an easier sell.

Zyrtec. However, I like flonase, which is a glutocorticoid rather than an antihistamine, even better for daily maintenance of allergy symptoms. I took zyrtec daily for a long time, but now I take flonase, and only take zyrtec when I'm going to be outdoors at a high pollen time of year or someone's home with a lot of pets. My DH, whose allergies are much worse than mine, uses both Flonase and Zyrtec daily, and good old Benadryl when he has a reaction that breaks through those.

Epigenetic changes spurred by environmental factors can actually affect the next generation. So, for instance, some condition YOU were exposed to in childhood or in the womb, or your mother, could effect gene expression in your children. It's incredibly complicated and ongoing research is only just starting to make headway into discovering such mechanisms. I think it is a mistake to equate "environmental factors" with "something under your control/something to blame on the mother." There are plenty of environmental factors in the modern world whose impacts we may not fully understand as yet, which are completely beyond individual control with respect to exposure because of their pervasiveness. The modern human environment is radically different for almost everyone than for most of human history--even the most isolated "uncontacted" people on the planet have encountered diseases they were never before exposed to, have the nutrient balance in their food altered by climate change, and probably have microplastics circulating in their bodies, etc. It's a given that there is going to be a curve in how adaptable we are to the changed environment--social and physical. When it comes to neurodiversity, some ways our brains can be wired, so to speak, are more stressed by the expectations of the modern world than others. It's that stress that the way one's brain works doesn't fit the way it's expected to results in the range of developmental and learning disorders that may go undiagnosed without higher quality screening, rather than neurodiversity itself.