Here is some info on oral allergy syndrome: https://www.aaaai.org/conditions-and-treatments/library/allergy-library/outdoor-allergies-and-food-allergies-can-be-relate http://allergicliving.com/2010/08/19/fruit-vegetable-about/ https://www.allergyuk.org/oral-allergy-syndrome/oral-allergy-syndrome And since you mentioned banana: http://www.aaaai.org/ask-the-expert/heat-labile-heat-stable-allergens Allergies are complex so I would see a reputable allergist who does thorough testing. I see mine regularly. I don't think my case is the norm at all but just to give an example -- I started out with just OAS with raw fruits and veggies. Looking back, I had symptoms of what might be EoE (getting a scope at some point to confirm) and other weird immune system issues going on in my childhood but I only was diagnosed with OAS and thought nothing of it in my 20s. Then after having terrible reactions, I found out I developed anaphylactic allergies. Again I don't think that is the usual thing. But of all my allergies, go figure, my peanut allergy is related to my severe birch pollen allergy (which is the culprit for a lot of my OAS symptoms) and is far more likely to cause only local (and not severe) reactions. So it is confusing to be allergic to peanut (the food that most people seem to be aware of) that is not likely to cause me to need my Epi. My point is not the details of my story -- it is that allergies are worth seeking help for because hopefully it is just mild OAS but you need to find out. Start keeping a record of her symptoms. Maybe it's just me or because I have two allergic people in the family, but I cannot keep it all in my head!

I'll link to the author's website :) Click on each book if anyone is interested in sample pages. Glad you posted ... reminds me I was looking at her Baby Birds book for a relative.

Some books by John Muir Laws -- not sure if this would be good for a 12 year old since I haven't seen them in person but I've been browsing the store for someone I know who is into nature and drawing. He has a lot on Youtube, too. Pounce -- if one is into cats. I am not so I don't know if that is kid friendly but if she has a favorite animal, maybe a coffee-table type book full of beautiful animal pictures? The Animal Book by Steve Jenkins Since you mentioned travel -- again, not sure if these are too childish or too much: Maps Not For Parents How to Be a World Explorer by Lonely Planet -- one of the reviews mentions kids a bit younger (10 & 11) but also not into reading that liked this one National Geographic National Parks book Lonely Planet Kids Travel book I agree about Magic Eye and Dk books. DK has a Maker Lab book with activities, not sure if for the same age group.

I know someone, (not young, though), who had to go and it ended up being a lengthy visit because the first visit was for a known issue and needed immediate treatment. They didn't know that going in, though, but luckily both the patient and the driver had the whole day free. I think they were there (unexpectedly) for three hours or something ... longer than expected. Everything was fine and follow up visits, AFAIK, were not that long. But I know for me, I plan extra time on any eye exam because of the dilation and all the issues that I have with it. Not everyone has the same problems, though.

So many uses, but so far all I've done is put it in my journal. Oh, and I used some beautiful tape on my phone. I made the mistake of getting a black OtterBox and it blends into so many places. A A piece of bright tape on the back of my phone makes it easier to find. A sticker would have worked but I had the tape and it is so pretty.

Cascade is working fine for ours. It is new so I can't say how it will be long term but it is working so far. Same experience -- it seemed to do better than the leftover Finish we still had. I have heard of problems with KA washers. Our last dishwasher was a different brand and it was a disaster. But I wouldn't rule out the brand just based on that one experience. I understand why someone would, though!

We just got a new dishwasher so I can't say it is our favorite. I'm hoping it lasts because so far it is perfect. We do have an inexpensive water softener for the whole house since our water is quite hard. Almost went with a Bosch but we ended up with a KitchenAid because of a sale -- we did not pay near the list price. I have never had a Bosch so I have nothing against them.

I loved learning but resented the quizzing, I was not homeschooled but for several reasons I would get quizzed by relatives every year. It was more like I was a circus animal, there to perform tricks. I can see it happening in a conversational way that is non-threatening, but that is not always the case. My family situation was fairly unusual so I don't assume my experience was normal. The people quizzing me were "elite". My dislike for being quizzed had nothing to do with whether or not I loved learning.

Most of these have a girl main character ... these are some I remember mine reading at ages 6/7/8. A lot of these were already mentioned. The Night Fairy by Laura Amy Schlitz Bunnicula series (no girl main character, though, in the books) Astrid Lindgren (Ronia, Noisy Children books, Pippi) Goth Girl and Ottoline books by Chris Riddell Ramona books (not much for suspense or mystery though) Amulet series El Deafo by Cece Bell The Unicorn's Secret series by Kathleen Duey Books by Ursula Vernon Ginger Mice series by Frances Watts (no girls, but there's a female mouse) Roald Dahl books Where the Mountain Meets the Moon Clover Twig books by Kaye Umanksy Lady Lollipop by Dick King-Smith Catwings (no girl that I remember but flying cats!) Oddfellow's Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin Arabel books by Joan Aiken The Witch Family by Eleanor Estes The Cat Who Came in Off the Roof (main character is not a girl, though) The Little Leftover Witch by Florence Laughlin I had one that liked Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia Wrede, Rumer Godden, Eleanor Estes, & Eva Ibbotson books at that age, one that didn't. Same with The Serial Garden by Joan Aiken. Also, maybe books by Natasha Lowe.

I can agree! I couldn't deal with that. I finally found a way to communicate with my own mother how much it means to me to have people stay out of my kitchen. She and I get along very well and it took years for me to find a way to tell her without offending her. She finally understands. I imagine it is even harder to try and convince an in-law. Too bad I'm not your MIL. I also dislike being in anyone else's kitchen during holidays. I do not want to wash anyone else's dishes. I do not want to put their stuff away. I don't want to clear your table and make a mistake along the way. I am totally lost and awkward and hate being crowded with other people jockeying for position to wash and dry. No, thanks. (Our kids do offer to help and are polite about being guests :) Obviously it is different if helping someone who needs it. I was happy to clean my parents' kitchen when there was illness and they needed help. But it was just me, alone in their kitchen, and I had a relatively good idea of where stuff went and could bring my own towels and supplies. I can't just break out my own stuff at a holiday gathering at someone else's place. Well, I could, but that would be weird.

I don't know what the norm is (as my story will show) but I've been invited to 25th, 35th, 40th, and 50th for friends and family. I haven't heard of anything under 25th except for a vow renewal party for friends that had gotten married privately and then 10 or 15 years later did a renewal with a casual but festive reception. We threw a 40th for my parents. It was a surprise for them and it was small, no gifts, casual. Just good food, good wine, and their closest friends/family. We had the party because we thought 40 years was worth celebrating. Also, one of them had been seriously ill for over a decade and while I am hopeful we'll be planning a 50th for them, I just didn't know. It was also an excuse to get a long distance family member to travel out here and surprise my parents. I didn't realize it just wasn't done until one of the guests came up to me in the middle of the party and asked why I had given them a party. Well, for their 40th. Yes, but why for their 40th? She seemed offended by the idea. I have no idea why she came if she was so bothered that I didn't wait til their 50th, and I never said anything to my mom (it was her friend) because I just wanted here to enjoy the memory of the party. For ourselves, I hope we can travel. We didn't have much of a honeymoon. Our longest trip from home was for medical reasons, so I don't count that four day trip as much of a holiday, lol. Also, we aren't much for parties although we are happy to help anyone celebrate whatever # of years they feel like partying for. I don't think waiting until 50 is necessary.

That is exactly how it goes, though. I finally learned earlier this year not to ever try and even have a friendly discussion if a white person says or posts something that is racist. (And I mean among a closer-knit group of friends, not just random people online) Because inevitably the white person is the victim and somehow I'm no longer a friend but a trouble-maker. I also learned from a white relative that any racial discrimination I've gone through is not that bad. I said something like, you know, I'm not white and I'm going to disagree on this one. I can't even go into the rest of the conversation. It was painful. It is painful.

Ok, I have to post and respond to this -- There is hope! But maybe budget for a new planner every few weeks? :lol: Since you said you wanted to hear what has worked for others -- well, I'm still working on finding the best way for me. I think it's a matter what okbud said -- that trying new strategies is a strategy. I have to work with, not against myself. So while I was devoted to paper (Planner Pad and Plum Paper being among my um, many favorites), I never remembered to look at them after having a fantastic time designing and filling it out. But I believed paper was best. Once I got a smartphone and actually I caved into an app for remembering things. I tried Keep and other memo apps but again, I'd enter a list and forget it. Now, for me, I finally let go of paper and something like Todoist or Remember the Milk or Wunderlist can be nice if you like to be able to type "bake cookies every Tuesday" or "match your socks daily" and have it automatically remember those things for you. (Yes, Keep and my calendar, and others have reminder functions but for some reason I always just ignored them. Something about Todoist's reminders work for my brain. So if one doesn't work then another might.) Oh, I didn't totally give up on paper. Sometimes, writing it out even if I know I will lose the list feels like I'll be more likely to remember. Something about pen to paper feels so nice. But I learned NOT to rely on paper. Depends, though, on what works best for you. The fewer steps for entering a task, the better or else -- someone posted it's like you have no muscle memory unless you constantly do something all the freaking time. I use my app all the time, all day and that's the only reason I can do it. Whether you stick to paper or use an app -- I agree, you have to stay attached and obsess over it. Hope the Agendio works for you!

I am sorry I appeared to be "harping" on her. I started out the post specifically saying it was in the spirit of kindness, not sarcastically attacking her. I also was careful to say how her posts came across *to me* rather than accusing of her anything. She brought it up again. I think it would have been piling on if she hadn't brought it up and in fact, I had written a post yesterday but didn't bother with it since four or five people basically said the same thing and I didn't want to just pile on. I also specifically said I knew she hadn't meant to hurt or insult I am puzzled that the idea that she said she was done posting but still reading and then she talked about ways she is trying to improve = she doesn't really want advice. She said she found the discussion "supremely helpful". And clearly, others have chimed in saying they found info on here that was helpful so I thought again, maybe it would help them if they are questioning the idea of getting documentation or if they are struggling with keeping up with planners. So I figured it would be ok to let her know that yes, I had a friendly disagreement -- I don't think that this forum is unique -- but I am glad she was learning. And I wanted to agree with okbud, show that indeed, more than one ADHD person has gone through that while starting new things, and so I posted the last bit to *sort of encourage her that whatever she is doing right now (to help get stuff done) might work at first but be aware that either something new or some way to push through boredom might be necessary. I thought it might help to know that *a lot* of people with ADHD or symptoms find that happens when trying new habits or routines. It's something I wish someone had told me ten years ago. And I wished her the best of luck. Did that line sound sarcastic? I'll go back to just reading (not being sarcastic) unless you want to discuss this more, and that would be fine since I really was surprised that you were so negative towards my post. I didn't expect total agreement with it (I expected her strong disagreement on the first part of it at least) but I didn't realize it sounded so unfriendly and am definitely feeling less inclined to post anymore since no matter how much care I try to put into a post, it isn't enough and still comes across badly.

I mean this kindly -- I don't think it is the "average reader of this forum". I read more rowdy forums. To me, it read as you saying it is ok to insult people and repeatedly use the excuse of saying something like "Well, too bad, I didn't mean to insult anyone." Sure, intent matters, but ultimately even if I don't * mean to* step on someone's toes or *mean to* elbow them, it doesn't change the fact that I hurt someone and could at least just say, "oops, sorry about that, will try not to do that again!" That said, I get you didn't mean any harm and it sounds like you really are trying. If you've learned that just about everyone acts lazily or selfishly sometimes and since just about everyone does that then people with ADHD will, too, then that's good. It means you realize that you are human, and you are going to do things that are either lazy or selfish just like everyone else. If you have ADHD, then no amount of guilt, shame, or trying to fix laziness is going to work. So, I'd try to be more flexible in your thinking and continue to work on executive function skills regardless of whether or not you have ADHD. I do hope you'll consider getting your kid documentation *if* there are truly symptoms because homeschooling and self-coaching are usually not enough if someone really has ADHD. I wasn't affected by it only at school. It matters on the road (you don't want distracted drivers who are naturally distracted by their own minds rather than cell phones and other things), it matters at work, it matters at home. I'm glad some parents who resisted the idea posted about how glad they are for the accommodations their kids now have in place. Those accommodations can be at the least, academics-saving. And I don't think it is too dramatic to say they can be life-saving in a way, too. When I start new routines or planners or something to help out, I find the first couple of weeks go just terrific. Then there's a slump. If I can push through that, it might become habit. So I agree that you may either have to find something new to keep yourself engaged or expect a dip in improvement and attempt to stay with it. Best of luck to you!

Agreeing with Wunderlist and Any.do. My favorite so far is Todoist. The free version was fine but paid has been worth it to me. I use it for daily to do stuff, recurring chores, shopping lists, wish lists, article links. There is also Remember the Milk.

I agree 100%. I'm not sure I would have even finished high school without the label, meds, and accommodations. I am so grateful my parents weren't anti-labels/meds. They didn't jump into it lightly, and were shocked by the diagnosis. (Quite a long time ago before more awareness about the condition.) But they were glad for anything that would help me. And regarding the poster who said: "I have a DS who has ADHD behaviors. We will never get him a label or (god forbid) meds; it is mostly manageable, esp. with homeschooling." I agree that homeschooling helps manage some aspects of it. I suspect some kids wouldn't get a diagnosis if they were not in a classroom making demands that some kids are just not meant to meet. But I don't think homeschooling automatically means not needing a diagnosis or treatment (which may not always include meds) and I also don't take it for granted that we can always homeschool. I'd like to but I can't predict the future.

I made my first loaves using a mixer. The first one I made was this whole wheat loaf: http://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/no-knead-100-whole-wheat-bread-recipe Their blog post, if pictures would help: http://blog.kingarthurflour.com/2009/03/15/this-bread-is-so-easy-you-can-make-it-with-one-hand-tied-behind-your-back/ The second loaf I made in the mixer was this, the same one ktgrok posted. Here's the blog, again: http://blog.kingarthurflour.com/2010/01/28/sandwich-bread-fit-for-the-king/#more-15212 And I often make this, which is the Artisan Bread recipe -- this is a blog post with step by step photos http://blog.kingarthurflour.com/2009/12/01/the-crunchiest-crackliest-chewiest-lightest-easiest-bread-youll-ever-bake/ And they have tons of sourdough info if you want to learn that, too. http://www.kingarthurflour.com/guides/sourdough/starter.html Whatever recipe you use, just measure the ingredients the way the author does. I have a cookbook that uses a 5 ounce cup of flour. KAF, and some others, use a 4.25 ounce cup. It does make a difference. You don't have to use a scale, just use the same technique if you are going to use measuring cups. http://www.kingarthurflour.com/learn/how-to-measure-flour.html shows how they measure for their recipes

Also sending hugs to those in the hurricane path! Was listening to the news about it this morning and thought of you. Hoping ErinE & family are doing better. Pertussis sounds terrible. Not much to report with reading this week. I had two terrible migraines during the past week and am still groggy. I cannot think of anything spooky that I've ever read, although I must have done so. I know I haven't read any horror books -- I don't do horror movies, either. When I was a kid, I enjoyed scaring myself silly with Unsolved Mysteries and some ghost story books but I don't remember which ones. Oh, I do remember a title that I used to read all the time: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn when I was a kid. I read that parents sometimes object to the themes but for all the times I read it, I did not remember any of the most disturbing themes. A lot of it went over my head at the time. Nowadays the closest I get to scary is mysteries. I really should get back to what started out as a mission to read all the Agatha Christie mysteries and short stories (or skim through the ones I know well). Keep getting sidetracked! I just got a Caroline Graham Midsomer/Barnaby mystery and I never did finish The Lord Peter mysteries I have on my Kindle. I am nearly done with All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot and I think I'll finish this week.

I think that's great, and it is a perfect example as to why there has to be a conversation. I'm the opposite. We have severe food allergies. My allergist has recommended that I see a specialist about EoE because I have issues with foods I'm not allergic to as well. My allergic child's food allergies do not overlap with mine. My most severe allergies are rare so I almost always am allergic to the allergy friendly prepared foods that are free of the 8 major allergens because I'm just fine with eggs but I cannot have what is often used to substitute for those ingredients. Or I tried it and reacted. The level of stress and anxiety over food in our home is not normal even for a family with allergies. There is no way I could cook a meal for someone who is celiac or has a LTFA to the few foods that I can safely eat. It's all I can do to be on top of our own needs. I can easily do vegetarian or gluten-free/dairy free for someone who just prefers to eat that way, and we have done it happily. But it's just too hard to guarantee no cross-contamination unless someone happens to have the same allergies as we do. If a severely allergic person brings there own food to eat here, wonderful! If they don't, I'll do my best but I'd really rather not have to do it. (Of course, yes, we bring our food everywhere and it is a relief when we can either avoid meal times or we can bring our own and no one comments on it.) And for the OP -- either way, I would make sure that the parents know how to treat an emergency. Because even with "safe" food, accidents and food recalls do happen. When I had to use my Epi, it was at home, of all places, not at a restaurant or eating something at a friend's house. So even if you send your own food or they swear the meal is safe, just make sure the child is not the only one who knows how to treat if you aren't going to be there. (Ignore that, of course, if the allergy is something like OAS and you don't carry epinephrine!)

What OneStepAtaTime just said about knowing when to get out of the game is so true for me. I *had* to learn to work with my disorderly ways and learn how to keep track of my keys and wallet. No way out of that. But after losing an important piece of jewelry, I gave up on wearing anything valuable. It wasn't easy but I also seem to have sensory issues so in the end I am happier. So for me it is about accommodating vs coddling vs banging my head aginst the wall. Coddling would be if someone else constantly kept track of my keys and purse for me. Beating my head against the wall is insisting my home is organized like a Container Store ad. Accomodating is training myself on keeping track of necessary things and deciding how much effort I will invest in keeping track of extras. For remembering certain things, I have tried the method of anchoring it to something I never fail to do. After I brush my teeth, I ..., After I eat breakfast, I ... There is a name for that method; of course, I forget.

I kept a paper planner and paper lists up until a couple years ago because if I put reminders on my phone calendar or set timers, I'd just happily snooze and then ignore them. But I agree with the posts that mentioned finding apps that work. There are so many and I tried a bunch before settling on what works best for me. My current line-up -- not that these would necessarily work with a teen but in case they might help anyone: Todoist, for everything from my shopping lists, things to do today, recipes to cook, bill reminders, and I'm experimenting with using it to track homeschool stuff https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.todoist&hl=en Loop Habit Tracker -- tracking irregular chores and things that I need to do once in awhile. Todoist and others are fine for that but I keep this one separately because the layout works for my me to see progress on certain things. I have one of my kids on this one b/c it is ad-free (although I don't remember if I paid?). I would say that trying to consolidate to just one habit/planning/reminder app might be good because I too easily lose track of where I entered something but using two apps for two very distinct needs has been working for a few months. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.isoron.uhabits&hl=en A couple that I tried, liked, but don't use: Regularly: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ugglynoodle.regularly Remember the Milk I also agree with mindfulness even though I haven't done a lot with it. I finally found an app with a voice that didn't drive me to distraction and have tried it a few times. It has been good for keeping distractions out as I go to sleep. Regular exercise, good sleep routines, and good diet --- I think those are huge and I'm not inclined to be any good at those things. But I also agree that helping with good habits there should help.

I have a diagnosis, was treated with just medication when first diagnosed in high school, and wish I had also gotten some kind of coaching or therapy to help. (Still using meds but I would say first get a thorough evaluation to rule out things that have similar symptoms. I would do that even if I weren't inclined to use meds.) So I'm still kind of a mess and probably not the best for advice. But here's what helps me, so far. I agree with a lot of what is already posted. It is what it is and there are things about it that people have to learn to live with or work with instead of trying to work against. I'm not saying use it as an excuse or surrender.. But I know my limits and am constantly trying to work with them or find tips that will help improve. A very small thing -- I keep little items that I use and lose all the time everywhere if I can afford to stash them around the house OR I keep just ONE of something and try to treat it like rare treasure. I have an enormous supply of toothpaste and other toiletries that I will forget at the store and can't go without. It's not terribly frugal or helping with my decluttering goals but until I get my act together with getting everything I need when I shop, this is what I have to do. For the flashlight and the tie -- I might not start by getting his own torch or tie (unless he's going to need one quite often.) I might, at first, work towards having an agreed spot. Can he put borrowed items in a specific spot where you know they would be? I'm not saying coddle him and cater to his disorganization. But -- and I know I'm saying this as the one with the disorder -- at his age it might be something to consider to help him. Of course, under the understanding that he may suddenly forget that spot and start finding new and exciting places to put things. It's not easy to live with, I know. Not the same situation but here's something that was driving someone nuts here -- pocket change was getting cluttered all over a countertop by the door. Could have argued, insisting that change go into the coin bank on the bedroom dresser on the other side of the house.For now, there's a small cup to collect change on that counter. It's not as aesthetically pleasing but it's not all over the counter or in pockets (annoying whoever is doing laundry) and it is at least contained. I noticed most books from the bedroom bookshelves (of the child who seems to have my tendencies) always ended up in piles in the living room. So I moved all those books to the living room bookcases. I see the argument for insisting they go back to the bedroom, but I chose to just make room and no longer am constantly working to get piles of books back to the bedroom. Not saying my way was right or best, but it worked as far as keeping anxiety and stress down for now. I can identify with the desk incident. I know I am prone to breaking things. I have broken three coffee machines because although I'm primarily inattentive, I move in a clumsy, oddly impulsive way. I finally got a simple, streamlined ceramic dripper and glass carafe. I know it is likely I'll break them but replacing them won't cost nearly as much as the machine (ok, machines) that I broke. My desk drives my husband nuts because it looks horrible but I really do find just about everything I need now. I do ask myself, when setting anything up or organizing anything around the house -- is this likely to fall or be bumped into (I'm clumsy), spill, or otherwise cause a headache to clean up? Am I likely to forget it if I put it here? Am I starting to create the Great Leaning Pile which will fall and break something? Where will I likely use this -- store it there. Get dressed and undressed in one spot if possible, near a hamper. Some other things that helped me a bit: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/apr/17/file-that-under-m-for-messy-paperwork-solution http://www.wnyc.org/story/algorithms-practical-efficiency/ My mom was in your shoes. I lost my glasses far from home, my retainer while out with a friend's family, and wow, was my room a disaster area. My sympathies to you! But obviously you realize he's not doing it to be difficult or purposely mistreating your stuff. And you want to help (and visualizing can help) so having someone alongside him who understands he's not lazy and just wants to help him is great. I had a lot of angst over my issues but knowing my parent didn't quite understand me but always were wanting to help and not judge was good. I just told my mom recently that I know I gave all appearances of not listening to her when I was younger, and often I wasn't. But I was able to give examples of some things that did trickle into my scatterbrain after all.

Oh, sorry, a third post. But I logged my 52nd book last week on Goodreads. It wasn't actually the 52nd since I still need to add some that I forgot from over the summer, but it was nice to actually log a project as done. (Finishing projects, not my strong suit. I have printed my Book Bingo sheet three times and lost it every time. I give up!) The last book I finished was Browsings by Michael Dirda. That was a library book that I chose because the cover was lovely and there it was on the "Recommended by Staff" shelf. I did mostly take his advice and didn't read it all at once. The book, like these threads, added more books to my "to read" list. Looking over the list of what I read this year, well, quite a few were re-reads. For a couple, it had been so long it was nice to rediscover them, for others, it was pure indulgence. Hoping to finish some new-to-me books in progress and try some things I wouldn't usually go for in the next few weeks.

I am pretty sure it was because of you that I started reading W. Somerset Maugham. I think you posted about loving Slaughterhouse-Five and so I just trusted that if you loved Vonnegut, you must be right. About everything. And I was right! You are! I will probably do the same and re-read Slaughterhouse-Five for Banned Books. I am too sleep-deprived to try anything new this week.