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Sunshine State Sue

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Everything posted by Sunshine State Sue

  1. I used primal pit paste (unscented) for a couple of years. It was available at our local health food store. Not sure I would have mail ordered it. I liked it but I wear a lot of tank tops and noticed it was staining the armpits of the tank tops. I imagine that was from the coconut oil.
  2. I remember her talking about the skills she picked up over the years that helped her to work with the severely mentally ill. I found it fascinating. Kind of like it was all in divine order. I think I remember she passed away. So sad.
  3. I think it's been about 20 years for me. I was Sue in St Pete back then. I rarely checked the chat board during our hs'ing years. Now, I rarely check any other board. I have no other social media account. The K-8 board, the Middle School board, the High School, Board, the College Board all helped me through. One boardie tutored ds in writing one year. 3 boardies critiqued my ds' high school transcript. I think I've only met 3 boardies IRL: one from Tampa, one from Colorado, and one from Canada. I am grateful for SWB. My heroine! Anyone remember vegsource?
  4. This is my 11th year volunteering with VITA - Volunteer Income Tax Assistance. One of the locations I volunteer at is run my a retired military site coordinator and several of the volunteers are military. VITA typically has an income cap (79,000 this year) but our site does not have a cap for active/retired military. There is another site on the military base I believe. You can lookup VITA sites here.
  5. wrt work: what do other people/want expect from you? I can't help you with your values and desires. That is something you need to determine for yourself. I can tell you that, for me, I never have had any desire for full-time employment. Pre-child it was okay as a young professional. But there is so much more to life. There always seems to be pressure for more. At least where I have worked in corporate america. Dh, while always gainfully employed until retirement at 69yo, never made half of what I could make full-time. So, I have always had to work. Fortunately, I was able to work 20hrs/wk with family health benefits for 12 years after ds was born. Then, I had to work 30hrs/wk for family health benefits. Then I was persuaded to take full-time pay for 30hrs/wk. I kind of regret that because I didn't feel right about it. A little over a year ago, I resigned because I wanted to work 20hrs/wk and get health benefits and that wasn't an option at the company. 2 days later, I was offered (same company) 20hrs/wk with health benefits. I say my age is Medicare minus 2. Working until 65 can be a slog. And I mostly like my job. I like work-life balance even better.
  6. I sometimes say that I grew up in a large family where our favorite form of communication was ridicule. I am loathe to put myself into a situation where I could be ridiculed. There are 2 activities that I might like to participate in that I cannot make myself participate in because I am so self-conscious and feel foolish and embarrassed. One is zumba. One is dancing (not sure how you call it - free style dancing?) I'm not asking for advice on how to overcome my inhibitions. I have some ideas. I want to be inspired that it is possible to overcome an inhibition by examples of others who have overcome their inhibitions. If you have overcome an inhibition and are willing to share, I'd love to hear from you. Thanks in advance.
  7. This. I volunteer and we use TaxSlayer. There is a checkbox in the basic information/personal information, near the name, ss#, dob, that says they are a dependent.
  8. For a while, I volunteered at a library that was a combination of city and community college library. After they got to know me, they always notified me when jobs were available. I work as a programmer and didn't need library $$, but a lady in my church followed my footsteps and was hired on after a short time. My gay neighbor retired after working as a (college?) librarian in OH. He says libraries are very accepting places. A gay man in our church has worked as a children's librarian forever. I'm in FL fwiw, home of the anti-woke guv. Ugh.
  9. I helped a friend sign up for SS a year or so ago. She was married for >10yrs but divorced. Her ex-dh died. Her full retirement age was 66yo. She waited until 67.5yo to apply mostly because she dithered about finding marriage/divorce papers. I thought she would get 50% of his SS but she got 100%. We discovered that she could have gotten 100% of his SS starting at 66yo (her full retirement age). She lost a year of SS. They did give her 1/2 year back pay.
  10. We live in a 55+ community. Dh is 72 and retired 3+ years ago. He plays softball, lots of pickleball, does pottery, shares a garden plot, volunteers 1 morning a week, is on our COA board, and will likely be the next pottery club president. When dh worked, all he ever did was ride his bike and watch sports on TV. I love that he is so active now. I'm working part-time and mostly do fitness classes. I volunteer as a tax preparer during the season, tutor a fitness instructor returning to college in math, and volunteer as a cake baker for mostly kids in foster care. Together, we volunteer as ushers 2x a month at the big live theater 30min away. When I retire, I would like to learn some of the games (euchre, rummicube, bridge, poker, hand/foot, majong) played around here or maybe try some of the paper crafts or sewing/quilting. But what do you do with the "stuff" you make? We are awash in pottery already. I'd like to invite friends over for tea and conversation more often.
  11. I work part-time now. They know I have one foot out the door and they don't want me to leave. I am learning to be very passive aggressive. I get emails about stupid training. Delete. Eventually they email my boss who forwards them to me with a request to do the training. Delete. Invitations to company wide or department wide meetings. Delete. Go ahead and fire me. Then I won't have to decide when I go. Just had a birthday. I turned Medicare - 2.
  12. I'm a shy extrovert. I grew up in a big family and enjoy gatherings, large and small, though I do prefer smaller. I enjoy talking to and getting to know people, though I joke that being married to an introvert and working from home (thankfully part-time now), I am losing the fine art of conversation. I sometimes tell people that I need to practice my conversation skills. Dh is an introvert. I once told a counselor that I would like to trade him in for the extroverted model. It makes me sad, and I feel that my world is smaller because I am married to him. I realized many years ago that he would not be able to satisfy my social needs, and I do my best to get those needs met on my own. To be clear, dh has other redeeming qualities. I say he can speak to the POTUS or a homeless person and you wouldn't know the difference. Me, not so much. I also prefer the company of women to men. If you invited me/us to to parties over and over again, I would try to develop a one-on-one relationship with you. I am very proactive about developing and maintaining friendships. I am the one inviting people to a picnic or a local play or a local concert or for a walk. Our home is also my home and I do invite people over. If it's girlfriends I invite over, dh will say hello and retreat to his man cave typically. He rarely wants to socialize with groups, though I must say that since he retired 3 years ago and we moved to an active 55+ community, he's been so much more social, and I am much happier with our social life. I sometimes think he gets more invitations than me. He is involved in more activities and meets more people than me. You have expressed this sentiment (of non-reciprocation) before. I remember replying years ago on a thread around the time your father passed away. It is frustrating to be the one who does the vast majority of the inviting. People have so many reasons for not reaching out. Some have family that fills that need. Some are introverts with less social need. I just know that if I wasn't proactive, I would be much lonelier, and so I do what I need to do. A few express their appreciation, but still don't reciprocate. Hugs.
  13. It's been a long time since anyone threw me a bday party. Bday is Dec 26. We went to Japan this year on a tour with an acquaintance who had lived in Japan and was an Asian Studies professor all her career. It was nice to be with someone who spoke Japanese. I would say 25% of Japanese speak English. I personally would not go anywhere in Asia or Africa or South America on my own with one exception (see below). OTOH, my younger sister is an intrepid traveler and does that kind of thing. We went to the Galapagos Islands on our own. I told myself that it was an international tourist destination and therefore people would speak enough English for us to get by. I imagine Tokyo Disney would be similar.
  14. I hosted an over the hill party for myself for my 40th. Everyone had to dress in black. I made a graveyard cake and had a bunch of other chocolate desserts (chocoholic here). We played 1960 charades and had a hula hoop contest. I invited friends for a hike at a local nature center and lunch on my 50th. I made all the food. I had my brother take pictures of me next to a 55mph speed limit sign and used it for my 55th birthday party invitations. I made a vegan dinner and dessert for 8 friends. My 60th birthday was during covid. I went with a few friends to a salt cave then to a park for a picnic afterwards. Between my 50th birthday and my husband's 60th birthday (he's 9.5 years older than me), we went to Italy while my in-laws stayed with our son.
  15. Ditto. I remember driving down the road and the car in front of me had a flag flapping out the window and it irritated me. And if a flag flapping out a car window irritated me, what do you think dh and ds were doing to me? For me, a few appts with an acupuncturist made a remarkable difference. Also, an herbal concoction called Change of Life at a local natural product store.
  16. I always bring food to my specialist ophthalmologist office. I've waited long times but not 4 hours. Twice I got there (terrible traffic) only to find out the doc wasn't in and I had to reschedule. I have been forgotten at a different doctor's office. The front office failed to send the message that I had arrived to the back office. 🤢 Next time, you could at least go and inquire as to how much longer it might be. I always try to ask the tech but they are very reluctant to give any clues.
  17. I read several books by Michael Gurian - The Wonder of Boys and A Fine Young Man are two I remember. I remember him discussing the fine art of dissing. As a cooperative, non-competitive female, I have a strong negative reaction to it, but it was interesting to read about it from the male perspective.
  18. On the home page of healthcare.gov there is a button to find local help. Local help can be broker/agent (generally paid by insurance companies whose plans they sell) or assisters (trained and certified, and required to provide fair, impartial, and accurate information). I was researching when I was considering resigning. I like to understand the gory details. I want to understand completely what I'm getting or giving up. The broker/agents only wanted to talk to me if they knew they were going to make a sell. They were not interested in me otherwise. They were not interested in helping me understand the system. They just wanted their commission, imo. The assister, otoh, was happy to meet with me several times and show me how to research myself, answer my questions, and reach out to her contacts if I had questions she couldn't answer, YMMV.
  19. We had hamsters growing up (lots of cat and dog allergies in our house). Ds had some hamsters. I don't recommend them. None of ours lived long.
  20. We had 3 bunnies. They were a compromise b/c dh and ds wanted a dog but I am allergic and didn't want to take care of one. Dh and ds idea of "care" looks like neglect to me. And I'm the only over responsible one in the family. So. The bunnies lived outside in the large fenced backyard. Occasionally, they dug under the fence and escaped. Fortunately, we had neighbors who alerted us and we never lost one that way. We bought a hutch. They dug burrows under the hutch, under the pool, and under the shed. Bunnies are prey, so they are not really gonna come when you call. They liked me because I brought them fresh food. They were crazy for blueberries. Ds would bring the bunnies inside sometimes. Had to be very careful because they would chew through wires. One bunny would bite/nip if handled improperly or startled. We made very sure (at a vet office) that they were all the same sex otherwise they multiply quickly. On the pro side: They were low maintenance pets. You could hold them and pet them. They lived about 8 years. I definitely did not want a pet that I was going to have to take care of after ds left the house for college. They all died the year ds left. Good timing. On the con side: They will not be a close companion like a dog. We once found a baby bunny and kept it inside. After 3 days, I had trouble breathing. Thus, the need for an outdoor pet. HTH!
  21. I bought a 2019 Honda Civic in 2021. The sales person told me that cars now have active head restraints and that's why the headrest forces your head forward. I deal with it by tilting the seat back. Sales person suggested this. I feel like my back is in a C curve when I drive. I wish I could sit upright.
  22. When I was in my young 20s, I hired a lawyer. I had lost my license at 17yo by being foolish. I didn't want any tickets on my license. It was worth it to me. More recently, I was ticketed for not wearing a seat belt. I always wear my seat belt. When I was pulled over, I unbuckled my seat belt to get my wallet out of my back pocket. Anyway, I was darned if I was gonna pay the ticket, so I went to court by myself. I had to reschedule the 1st court date due to an out-of-town work meeting. I brought a friend as a "character witness". The officer never showed up and the ticket was dismissed. I suspect that the change in date helped. YMMV.
  23. Here is an amazing recipe that uses tumeric and cumin: Ethiopian Green Beans and Potatoes Would jalapeno scare people off?
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