:iagree:

I don't know about a book but my son had 6 months of Brain Gym with a practitioner and it really made a huge difference. He was around 12 at the time.

That sounds like a serious OCD issue to me.

I think the pendulum parenting thing is dangerous. If you are wounded from your childhood, such as not getting enough healthy boundaries, the best thing to do is do some work on your own wounding, so as not to pass on that woundng to your kids. But opposite style parenting is reactionary parenting, not healthy, conscious parenting. I really suggest reading very widely around this stuff rather than getting fixated on one perspective one viewpoint, one approach. I think we should all be able to see everyone's viewpoint- understand where other perspectives are coming from- and be guided from that open place, rather than reading one book and thinking "that sounds about right". To me, every parenting book, every parenting technique, has some merit, from some perspective. I LOVED the Godly Tomatoes website years ago- really, it had some very relevant information for me at that time. But I didn't swallow it hook line and sinker- I absorbed its perspective and kept going, finding my own unique way with my own unique kids. Beware of parenting the opposite way to your own parents- to me, it just says you are still wounded and are perhaps, in the boundaries case, looking for those boundaries for yourself, by giving them to your kids in an exaggerated fashion.

I have posters on the walls- such as a great timeline that was our only timeline. A world map. But no reading material. I never did understand why people took so long as to want to read anyway. I am in and out, every time, unless there is something wrong. I think if people are spending 10 minutes on the toilet they have a health issue.

I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours. I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

I have cooperation rather than strict obedience. Kind of same end result, but the means to that result are far more humane, egalitarian, not to mention achievable. It is not fear based. Children naturally want to imitate and follow the lead of their elders- their very survival depends upon it, so it is built in. They do not however fold naturally to coercion and control past a certain point, because their survival also depends upon their selfhood. You are better off working with nature than against her. The cost of mindless obedience is high- the result of cooperation is a family that works together for the greater good, yet is honouring of each individual's unique way of contributing from their own autonomy. I ask a lot more than tell nowadays.. and get better result, and a far better attitude, than when I went around giving orders. Also, I agree with Joanne above.

Well, the money thing- do you think that is just a sort of pathetic excuse he is grabbing at, or something he is set on? Because I don't know how you would counter that one. (Its pretty silly but what to do). I had to convince my dh to give me a trial. We were even separated at the time- living separately but still together. Ds was 7, dd was 9. I desperately wanted to homeschool- in my case, I would have just done it except I really needed dh's support since I worked part time, and he worked from home- I needed him to babysit 2 mornings a week! I printed lots of articles off the internet. I talked- even though it was the last thing he would ever consider. I mean, no way- just so out of his range of possibilities. So I left articles on the kitchen table. I explained how angry ds was after school, and that he wasn't reading. Eventually- it took weeks- he agreed to a 6 month trial. Within 2 weeks he was convinced, because ds's personality changed so much for the better in that time. DH was badly damaged by school- he suddenly reaslised, there is another possibility for his kids. So...do your best to feed him information- send him emails, print articles and stick them around the place. Find out his real objections and work on them. Be persistent and don't give in for fear of confrontation. Be strong, clear. I think what many women do is try to be reasonable, try to allow their partner to have a say...while their partner is not giving them that same honour and right, is not being reasonable, and even using money to play the trump card in what should be an equal relationship. You are ALSO the parent and YOUR opinion should matter as much as his- so if he isn't listening to you as much as you are to him- he should be.

I did it for a year- or maybe it was 9 months, cant remember. The mother was my dh's x-wife, and the kid I homeschooled, and my kids, share a half sister. He was the same age as my oldest- they were 12 at the time. It was ok. Really, the mother didnt have a clue what I was doing and was more interested in just believing i was doing a good job, than really seeing what I was doing. Then when her son refused to finish the last 10 pages of Treasure island during the holidays- and she backed him up and told me I was being too hard on him, when it was the only book he had shown any interest in, and read all year- I quit and told her to send him to school. Dont know what went wrong there- she was quite shocked- but if she couldnt/ wouldn't make him finish the only book he woudl read all year (and he was enjoying it to that point), and wanted to make me the bad guy instead of her own parenting- I wasn't going to do that labour of love any more. I wouldn't say it was a bad experience till then. It was difficult in that to me homeschooling was a whole life thing- it included the books I read to my kids in bed at night, and all those incidental conversations- wheras the visiting kid had only "school hours" with us which wasnt so wholistic, and affected how I ran things- more school like. But the worst was the expectations of the mother. But she always was a drama queen in our lives, so I should have realised.

My life isn't crazy in the sense of dramas like people post here regularly. It's crazy in the sense that I am crazy- but I like my kind of crazy- its not a problem :)

I often think when people say they have a really, really strong emotional reaction to lying...there is probably something in the situation for them to learn, as well. Such as acceptance, patience, and forgivenes of the parts in themselves that they haven't been able to change yet, either. She's a kid. She needs patience, understanding, and compassion. So do you. If you cant give it to yourself, it's very hard to give it to your kids.

I don't have a blog. But I also don't have a lot of drama (touching wood) so I guess I am probably not under suspicion. I am always amazed people even think of such things. I just take everyone pretty much at face value. Even if they are a troll, I am not much into feeding trolls, or drama, unless I am in the mood, which isn't often.

I have always been an early morning person, but I really hate being tired, so I have trained myself to go to bed by 10pm most of the time. 2 nights ago I was asleep by 9.30. Lately, sometimes its closer to 11. But 10pm is my average bedtime. I think I learned when I went to school, how horrible it is to be tired all day, dragging myself through the day. I learned to put myself to bed on time.

I put my son in public highschool for 6 months- even with buying both summer and winter uniforms, school fees, books etc, it was cheaper than homeschooling.

If I won it today, I would buy a house to live in near where we live now (even the one we rent- we love it). I would pay off our 2 investment properties. And if there were leftovers, I would buy a country property. Dh wouldn't change anything- he would not quit his work. I would feel even better doing the volunteer work I am doing now, without having to worry about money. I would travel but I don't think travel has to be especially expensive- not the sort I would want to do- India, South America. Although...heck, if the money is there, some 5 star would be ok too :)

We just seemed to finish autumn a while back- had a bit of heavy rain for a week or 2, a bit of cold weather for a nice change, and now its spring already. Now spring is beautiful- but what happened to winter?

I think we are animals too- and most of us are numbed out to our own highly sensitive perceptions of that which is beyond our 5 senses can perceive. We have the capacity to be aware of our 5 senses, and to be aware beyond our 5 senses. So yes...but we have that capacity also- some are just more open to it than others. There are many cases of animals doing strange things. I know someone who had a brain tumour, and her cat used to insist on laying right up against her head where the tumour was, to sleep. I mean, what sense makes birds suddenly make a nest, or fly south? There is far more we don't understand than we do.

Or maybe our harvesting season is at the opposite time of year :) We do have summer holdiays in Australia- they just fall over Christmas. And they tend to be shorter than yours- more like 7 weeks or so- and then we have more holidays during the year, although overall we still have less. I tihnk I prefer our slightly shorter summer holidays, so that we can have more time off at other times. Basically we have 4 ten week school terms with 2 weeks holidays between each term- except for Christmas holdiays which are 7 weeks. I could never improve on that- its a pretty good system. I am not sure if our summer holdiays are related to harvest time, though. Generally summer here is too hot- I think harvesting is earlier than that. We might have just carried over form a British system, though.

My two tandem bf- she was 5, he was 3.5- they literally had a discussion together in the bathtub, and they went cold turkey- together. I was ready...but still it was a grieving process. I was so surprised that my younger at 3.5 decided to stop with his sister- I was sure he would still be bf at 8!

I would try the progesterone cream. I used it for a couple of years and loved it- it made all the difference ot me. However I took half the recommended dose, and only in the evenings- it was enough for me. I stopped - I think it had built up in my system- I just felt to stop it and found my cycles much easier to handle even after I stopped. They still are.

As a preteen, yes, they had set bedtimes- but it was all just part of the routine and it wasn't a big deal. One they were in early teens - yes, it became a big deal and once it did, I stopped controlling it. If its a big deal...maybe you can allow your son to go to bed when he is ready. But if having him sleep in is inconvenient to you, have a getting up time instead. DH doesn't like the kids sleeping in on weekdays so he gets them up even if they dont have much on, even in holidays....about 8am. There really does seem to be something hormonal around adolescents needing to stay up later and sleep in. Once i surrendered to it, it was fine. The kids do regulate themselves pretty well and catch up on sleep on the weekends if they have too many late nights.

I havent read the thread cos I don't visit that board anymore, but I don't mind at all when people ask me questions about homeschooling. I still enjoy talking about it. I am also grateful for the people who patiently answered my beginners questions- IRL and here. I knew no one IRL who homeschooled until I started researching and seeking out homeschoolers. When you haven't been exposed to it, you just don't know. Its even scary. I am a bit of a homeschool advocate and happily answer questions- its my way of changing the world one person at a time :) Nowadays i have younger friends with young children- and I am someone they ask questions of as they consider various educational routes for their little ones. Just to know someone, to meet someone, IRL, who has homeschooled- and their kids have turned out ok- will be a big thing for someone in your life.

I knew never to eat spouted kidney beans because of toxins- wheras sprouted chickpeas, lentils etc are ok. I cook beans, when I rarely do cook beans, in a pressure cooker. Usually they are overcooked so its not a problem.

Kangaroo...I have never had venison so I dont really know how to compare it. It doesnt have a strong flavour to me- or my kids wouldnt eat it either. Mixed as spag bol, or marinated kebabs, seems pretty similar to beef or lamb. Its nice because kangaroos are grass fed naturally :) Farmer's Market....South Freo highschool, Lucy. Best markets- but a fair drive for you. The apples lately have been $2.50 for most of the morning, but then closer to 12, when it finishes, they cut all the fruit back to $1. Organic apples are $5.

Fantastic movie.