I love what has already been written. If I could go back, I wish I hadn't been panicky that my son was behind (in grade 2) and tried to push him, because pushing a kid with LDs doesn't help! The atmosphere of the home is what the kids grow up in. I think its important to enjoy, rather than stress out. As others have said, learn to be a good parent (in terms of boundaries etc)- it makes it so much easier to homeschool- and there will still be difficult days. But I really think it is important that the general atmosphere of the home be healthy, happy. Rhythm and routine provide daily security, around which many spontaneous and wonderful things can happen. Daily language arts and maths, reading aloud, those sorts of things, chores etc provide a structure where a lot gets covered over time AND its not the end of the world to take a day or a week off for field trips, granma visiting etc. Rhythm and routine should be there, but not rigidity. Agree that once you accept you can't do it all, you can relax with what you can do and focus on skills. It took me a long time to realise I really couldn't do as much as I thought I had to.

I was so glad to find the No So Diet so I could stop thinking about food so much and just enjoy it at meal time. It feels like the answer to the whole diet dilemma to me.

There are another aspects to veganism. One is that is that producing animals, which are higher up the food chain than plants, is less energy efficient than growing plant crops (it takes a lot of plants to feed the animals which we then eat, when we could be eating the plants instead), and with millions of people starving daily, and forests being cut down thousands of acres a day...being vegan is a statement of using the productive and available land most efficiently so that everyone has enough, not just those of us in the privileged West. Many people can be fed off an acre of plants compared to an acre of grazing dairy cows. As for the eggs, for example, most vegetarian Hindus (that I know) wont eat eggs although they will drink dairy. Cows milk is considered a sacred food produced by love of the cow (not mass produced, though). Humans would drink what is left over and the calf would not be killed, as it is here. Eggs...I am not sure...I think they are considered too close to meat, and probably in most farm areas, most eggs would be fertilised (especially since they wouldn't be killing the roosters to eat) so you would be killing a potential living being.

My ds was pulled out of school when he was 7 and couldnt read or write yet wheras most of the other kids in his class could. So, he was "behind" from the start of our homeschooling journey. I worked so hard with him. Eventually he was diagnosed dyslexic but I always knew he had some sort of learning difficulties, and the diagnosis didnt change how we schooled. We focused so much on English and writing. But his maths was always, always behind. I feel we worked hard but I didn't push as hard as many do here- there was sooo much resistance and he needed a lot of time to jsut do his thing. He asked to go to school this year- has just spent 6 months in highschool so it gave us a good idea of how ...he would do in highschool. Which is hardly a good gauge of the many benefits of homeschooling, or a person's character, or their passion for learning, or their independence, or anything much but how they can survive the school system. He did ok, but he was behind in maths and science but good with English and history. My feeling is...and dh's feeling...that he would have been far worse off, and probably fairly delinquent by now, if he had continued in school and never been homeschooled. He had given up by age 7. Now he is excited by his life and wants to homeschool again so that he can get on with all the things he is excited about. He will get into university if he wants- but only if that is what excites him. I cant make him- he is not a kid I can force, especially now- but 7.5 years of homeschooling have turned him into a self determined, passionate young man with a very free, unique spirit. He's not a cookie cutter kid burned out by the system- as he found out the other kids in school were. School is not everything. Academics are not everything. Some kids are never going to be up there and it's not the only value that should be given to homeschooling- academic achievement. I am working for an environmental scientist who did very very average at school and even the first years of university, but he has a PhD now and is a top scientist and absolutely brilliant because he really has a good mind- that didnt handle academia well. There is something so against being "average" at anything, in our culture, and it is not healthy. We cant all be brilliant academically. Or socially. Or at relationships, or parenting, or whatever. But we do all have our gifts and we can give our kids the incredible gift of helping them become who they are, rather than who we think they should be. Comparison is not often a good thing especially when we take the achievements, or lack of, of our kids, as personal. I know I have done the right thing for my son and after years and years of Latin we never got past about 2nd year and he has probably forgotten it all. But it wasn't a waste, and nor was homeschooling just because he failed maths! I have a dd too- she has done well at everything- so I knew it wasnt me- that helped. You may not have that benefit of another kid who does well academically so you might be taking it all too personally. Enjoy the days- enjoy the process- enjoy your daughter. THis is the atmosphere she is growing up in and it will feed her for the rest of her life if it is a basically happy and accepting one. If you are stressed that she is not doing well, or you are not doing well enough when you really are doing the best you can, that is the atmosphere she grows up in.

I found that plenty of opportunities came up over the years, and when the kids ended up in situations where they had deadlines, they handled it well. Even things like having to prepare a part for a homeschool play, or having to get out the door in time to get to gymnastics on time...all sorts of little things helped. I wrote many a schedule over the years but we had our sort of default way of homeschooling which we just fell back on over and over so although my schedules helped me organise my head around what we were doing, we still mostly jsut did the next thing. We did start school at 8.30 each morning, so that gave us some structure. But getting assignments in on time? Just setting something to be finished by the end of the week now and then will slowly build that habit.

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I think your question is too simplistic to get an effective answer other than triggering political opinionatedness. I honestly dont think most people are so naive as to think any government should solve all the problems of poverty by simply raising taxes. People have different ideas of how tax money should be distributed. Many feel that a ridiculous amount is spent on defence, surely. It's just not so simple as "all those lefties want us all to pay more taxes to take care of the poor- why dont they give their own money". It just isnt. How do you know what 'those people' are thinking or doing, really? How do you know they are waiting for the government to solve the problems, and not doing what they can already, as well? How do you know what 'they' are thinking? Politics are not going to solve the worlds problems, that's for sure. If you venture out of America you will find countries such as Australia who do take pretty good care of their needy (far from perfect but in that direction), and have healthcare for all. It's a nice way to live- you won't find many of us saying lets copy the American model because they seem to have got it really right over there.

Sometimes I have, but its not so much the hygiene, but how worn they are. Everyone's foot tread is so unique and I don't like to walk in someone else's tread, so to speak. I have some Birk clogs that I bought 2nd hand, barely worn, for $20. I do find bargains. Dh just bought some proper sheepskin Ughs barely worn for a few $. But I am not a big shoe person- a few pairs is enough for me.

My son went to highschool this year- we were very curious as to how he would do after 7.5 years of homeschooling. It was pretty certain that if he hadnt been homeschooled from grade 2, he would have fallen through the cracks in the school system. He was presumed to be academically excellent, because he said he wanted to be a lawyer! So he was put into the top streams of everything. He basically failed maths and science. He was behind in both and does not have a math science brain at all AND, with maths at least, it wasn't for lack of trying on my part.With science- he was doing classes- once a week- and they obviously just weren't up to scratch as much as the ex schoolteacher who ran them, said they were. I probably let him down somewhat there but it was the hardest subject to cover for me. But he is also dyslexic and stayed in the top stream for ENglish. I had emphasised English and History so much (thanks WTM!) that these were his best subjects. So, it was uneven but not surprising. And really, I did everything I could with the material I had (him) :) He was never an easy student. I don't blame myself. He was still better off homeschooling in so many ways- none of us dispute that at all- and he is homeschooling again now.

I recently pulled my 15yo out of highschool because he no longer wanted to handle it, even though he could. The stress was taking its toll and it was changing his personality- and he was savvy enough to see what was happening. However, I am in a situation where i could take him home again, even though I am now also busy with other things. At 15 he is now largely self motivated and that really was a pre requisite. In a way we are now unschooling- similar to the Teenage Liberation Handbook. He is doing things his way, taking his life in his own hands. Be realistic- if you can do it, do it. If you cant, you cant.

Every Sunday dh and I go to swap meet (car boot market, all 2nd hand) for fun. We also pick up clothes, furniture, books and other fun things. For us, buying things new is unusual. It is a habit to look for things 2nd hand. We always buy 2nd hand cars with cash. We have no debt other than mortgages. We don't really consider ourselves frugal- That's not a term we use. We just live within our means and enjoy our 2nd hand lifestyle. It's more a sense of prioritising. We would rather do a trip to Bali next year (actually dh wants to take ds to Vietnam for his 16th, since he took dd to Paris for hers) than have new clothes, new cars, new anything. The kids earn their own money. They get pocket money but if they want expensive things they save up for them from earned money. Its just how we have always lived (since being together). Its not difficult, and we enjoy looking for bargains when we wants something. Right now I am selling a large bed and wanting a smaller one- I have a mattress on the ground in the interim, as I look for a 2nd hand bed base the size I want, at a good price. I don't just go out and buy one. I use the system where I live off last month's income. My income covers certain things- dh's income covers certain things. I have yet to convert him. But for myself, I put all this month's income into one jar as it comes in (cash income). At the end of the month I allocate it to various categories, in plastic envelopes. So I have "petrol", "kids", "personal", "groceries" etc. Then I have complete freedom to spend my "personal" on whatever I want for myself, because I have my petrol money, or the money for the kids' gymnastic classes, already put aside. I love the system.

I remember it from my childhood- my grandmother telling me the Brer Rabbit stories. A bit like the original Noddy and Big Ear stories- (they slept together- uh oh)- very politically incorrect nowadays. I wouldn't use it because of possible racial associations, but it probably isn't racial at all. Although political correctness gets really overdone, racism is still very alive and well, even in the subconscious of most white people who wouldn't consciously want to be racist, so I just wouldn't use it.

I havent had it done to me- or if it was I dismissed it pretty quickly- but I have done it to someone else- put them up on a pedestal while wanting to learn from them. I understand the urge. The best the gurufied person can do if they are in a situation where they don't just want to completely dismiss the person, is to keep reflecting the person back to themselves. Definitely don't take on any sense of obligation. Some people do learn well that way- I did- although the cost can be pretty high. I don't have a problem with gurus- I have had several in my life- and I don't have a problem with sitting at someone's feet to learn as long as they are not getting a big ego kick out of it and they truly have my best interests at heart. You are not responsible for turning this person onto anything or away from anything. You are a catalyst- they were ripe.

My dad also had his prostate out due to cancer and it has also spread. His oncologist has put him on hormone therapy and so far (3 years?) it has kept it low, but very slowly spreading. Make sure hormone therapy has been researched to see if it is applicable. Dad has meanwhile changed his diet- no sugar, mostly vegetarian- and is fit and healthy for a 73 year old. He has almost no pain which is amazing for any 73yo especially one with some spots of bone cancer. Next for dad is chemo but we all, including his doctor, are keeping him away from that as long as possible. I think once dad gets chemo and loses his quality of life, he will lose his will to live and die. So, I am booked to go spend next Christmas with him, because you just never know.

My dh and ds confront a lot- always have. I used to get in the middle a lot to protect ds from dh's intense anger. Once ds reached teenage years I really GOT it that it was time to stop doing that. Ds told me he could handle his dad and he didn't mind the loud arguments as much as he minded me getting upset and involved, especially if I ended up fighting with his dad. So....I leave the room. And I talk to them both separately about the issue- frequently they separately come to me to talk about it. But I don't interfere in the thick of it at all, or when both are in the room. I let them fight it out and I extricate myself. I don't take it personally (anymore) and I don't support dh any more than ds- which really, really annoys dh but he is so often heavy handed and irrational, I just can't in all integrity defend his parenting when he is like that. But yes, lecturing either one, or listening, or whatever I feel is needed, is best done privately and separately. Meanwhile, I just leave them to it. I take plenty of space, though. I have my own bedroom and own office- rather lucky I guess- but I have plenty of space to withdraw to, doors to close behind me while they go at it.

The way I tend to put it is that my husband has supported us to homeschool and i am grateful for that. Meaning, he has emotionally supported us, has earned the money so I don't have to worry about that, and in every way dedicated himself to making sure it happens. That includes economically. If he hadn't been supportive it would have been difficult and i have no problem acknowledging that if he hadn't earned the money it would have been very difficult. But my own income was used for homeschooling so I never had to ask or money for that, fortunately. Overall I can't say I am 100% happy with the power balance around money with my dh but it is a work in progress. We definitely have our separate money as well as our together money, and I instigated that because I wanted some autonomy and didn't want to have to ask for money, ever. It's not ideal but its what works for me.

It's pretty rare here where I live to have more than 3, so I said 4...but I guess I would gasp at around 5 or 6 :) However, the people I know with lots (5 or 6 or more) are all fundamentalist Christian or Catholic, and apart from when homeschooling I just don't hang out in those social groups. It was very eye opening though, when I did.

My kids get questioned too....and mostly they get a lot of positive feedback and - from their peers in school, college etc- a LOT of envy! Jared's friends at school are clamouring to get him to come back to highschool- they just cant conceive that he can just decide not to go to school anymore, when it is all they have ever known. Dd17 is a bright, social, clever and capable kid though- whether homeschooled or not, I imagine- and having been homeschooled just adds to her mystique :) I usually shortcut the S question as soon as it is suggested (if they haven't met my kids and seen how social they are)- I just mention the number of homeschoolers in our city. That usually shuts them up- no one realises how many of us there really are. However...really, I just like to educate people about it...homeschooling is much less well known here than it is in the U.S. and you cant know what you don't know.

My ds15 has just spent 6 months in school and the experience has been good for him. He is also now home again- his choice- and a very different kid to the one who trundled off to school at the beginning of the year. My girl didn't need that experience- my boy did.

Its something i try to explain to people who say they couldnt bear to have their kids around all the time. Its actually easier- and their behaviour is sweeter, and somehow we all fall in sync more. Its not that its always rosy, but it really is easier than when they are out there picking up bad habits and attitudes from other environments all day. My son just came home again after 6 months in high school- and me having 6 months of freedom, not having to work but not having kids around. I grew to like it. But Jared was pretty obnoxious. I hadnt consciously put it down to school- I just figured it was being age 15. But when he came home again, his personality changed again. He is much more easygoing, happy, lighthearted, and he is easy to be around again.

Here in Australia adoption is virtually impossible- the numbers are so miniscule. Probably because of both abortions AND our good social security system- you can live quite well on single parents benefit. Everyone I know who has wanted to adopt has had to go international- and its still a very difficult process from here.

You know, I wonder if it is a coincidence but today at the Farmer's Markets TWO separate people offered me their babies to hold and cuddle at different times (we hang out there several hours). One of them gave me their bay 4 times while she chased her two older kids around the markets- other other just left their baby with me for half an hour so they could have a break- also chasing a toddler. I couldn't help think of this thread- I had always loved upon their babies but these are not close friends and they both, separately, virtually shoved their babies into my arms today. I know I probably don't look scary, but I was touched they would trust me with their babies while they chased other kids. That was how I was with my kids too, though, except my younger wouldn't go to other people. My older would though, and I made the most of it.

I write to do lists- gettig it out of my head and on paper helps. I declutter- sometimes radically. I get up early to have some me time. Often when you slow down, take some time, things don't seem so overwhelming and you can get done what needs doing, in a shorter time. Instead of speeding up - slow down. Look at what is sucking your time. For me, spending time here is easy and something I love to do- but sometimes I realise I have other things to get to, and I would really feel better at the end of the day if I had done some art, some writing, or cleaned something extra- rather than spent that extra hour here. With homeschooling- we stopped early afternoon regardless. Whatever we got done, we got done. Cut myself slack. Can't do it all. Cant read all the books I would like to. Can't have all the experiences I would like to. Can't be the perfect parent. Can't have the perfectly clean home. But I can try to get my priorities straight and hug my kids every day, and make the time to listen to them.

Dh's attitude to money, more than anything, I would say. He has what I would call "prosperity consciousness" and I have learned to have it too. Before we got together, dh was a millionaire running a business he didn't like and which wasn't of much benefit to the world. But he managed to retire by the time he was 28 and travel the world. Then he developed a conscience, as he puts it. He also got very sick and was stuck in bed for a couple of years. He decided to shut down his business- gave it to his employees actually- and with nothing and bare feet, hitchhiked around Australia. I knew him before- when he was wealthy- but we got together after he had been doing this for a couple of years and he had nothing. He always knows how he can go back and make a lot of money. But instead, he lives a life of wanting to serve others, and he has a knack for making enough money to support us doing that (he is a therapist nowadays). He is an entrepreneur. We started out with a car full of camping gear, and built up from there. We have ben 2nd hand shopping for 20 years and we love it and our whole home is furnished with 2nd hand furniture, ornaments, crockery etc, as well as most of our clothes. We buy 2nd hand cars- sometimes nice ones! We don't go into debt for "stuff". We feel wealthy. We purposefully rent in a wealthy area so that our kids grow up around wealthy people, even though we can't buy here. Its a very deliberate decision on dh's part (that I have appreciated- its nice here- but I would have chosen to buy instead). We bought 2 investment properties for retirement. Dh works probably 25 hours a week, plus 10 hours unpaid because he loves his work. I work about 5 or 6 hours a week paid. We do not sacrifice lifestyle for anything and would probably downsize a lot rather than work more than we wanted to. We look at the millionaires in our street - or at least, their properties are worth between 1 and 2 million- and we KNOW they are in debt up to their eyeballs and working very hard to stay afloat. Plenty of people we know are more wealthy than us. Even many people who feel very poor. WE do not feel poor- we feel very prosperous.

I love craniosacral. It is very deeply relaxing and can heal all sorts of physical trauma. I would highly recommend it- at least trying it. For some people it is very effective. I do not believe it is something you would need to do regularly forever. I think a series of several sessions would be enough- if I didn't feel something different, better, after a couple, I wouldn't keep going. Its possible that you might get a lot of relief then it might return after a few months ...so longer term maintenance...such as you might get with a chiro...but you should feel some sort of relief pretty quickly, I think- if it can help.