Genevieve- gentle, strong, creative Jared- powerful, demanding, deep

I really hope it goes well for you Jean. I remember it was a hard decision to make, whether to go or not. Blessings ono your journey, and may it be an adventure that brings you home safe and sound and renewed.

I dont know what type of test he took- and the school didn't, or hasn't as yet, sent us any results. It might have been something one of the class teachers decided to do. I am not sure. I told my son "I told you so", and then let it go. OK, thats very interesting. That is another possibility. The dyslexic lady (the one who diagnosed him) was very adamant that dyslexic kids are often very bright. He is extremely socially bright- an articulate, people person- as well as musically gifted, although he has dropped learning an instrument. He just never did well at abstract thinking. However he just got 80% for a science test- the highest mark yet- he has been happy if he passed so far- he is thrilled.

Sure, I would if the wedding was important to me. If not, I would use my pregnancy as an excuse to get out of it :)

I think of course our upbringing affects our life. Some people are abused- and go on to abuse others. Some are abused and would never, ever dream of hurting anyone because of how they were treated. Why one person goes one way an another the other, I don't know- there is obviously both nature and nurture involved. I was brought up by fairly relaxed, atheist parents in a middle class lifestyle. THe worst thing was that my father was an unaffectionate academic and a workaholic, however i have many good memories of camping trips and holidays as a family. The most difficult thing that happened to me though was that my parents separated when I was 13 and my life went downhill from there- it was a bad age to have that happen, for me. And yes, it affected the rest of my life. However I no longer blame them or hold anything against them about it- and i have done plenty of work on myself around the issue. I am not sure if it ever goes away completely- it definitely shaped me.

My heart broke when it happened here, also. But I did continue reading during school time because it was either read aloud time, or do some other schoolwork. A nap wasn't the other option because it was definitely a part of school. I also did get attitude about it and did change my choices around it. We all struggled through the last book I read to them, last year- they were 14 and 15- and there was negativity- then by halfway through the book- it took that long- we were all hooked. But some other books I did drop along the way. However...now that my kids are at school/college, neither of them reads voluntarily. Reading aloud to them, and getting them to enjoy reading themselves, was really one of the most wonderful parts of parenting for me, and a major part of our homeschooling journey. I am bummed that they don't read, and can only hope that it is something that comes back to them later.

I love this, Joanne, and it is my experience, also. It's the intelligent, respectful, loving, hands on parenting that makes the difference. What was lacking in my own teenage years wasn't necessarily directions in one way or the other- it was involved parents. Mine were newly divorced and too busy with their own new relationships to parent effectively. They "trusted" me and let me have my freedom- I ended up leaving home at 16. I had been badly damaged by their divorce. I don't wish I hadn't "dated", I wish my parents had not been frightened of me, and had continued to parent as effectively as they had during my earlier childhood instead of letting go and thinking I would be just fine without their close guidance and attention. I was basically emotionally abandoned from around age 14. Many parents give up involved parenting by the mid teens- they feel they have lost control. That is what i am seeing around me. Dating from that perspective is a very different story to dating that happens when parents are right there, still very involved.

I think of course you forgive and extend mercy. It's not your job to judge. But whether you want to visit him and extend friendship to him is another matter, and I would just stay in touch with my feelings about that. You can extend prayer and genuine love irrespective of whether you personally want contact.

I have not created a problem when there isn't one. Dating happens as it happens. I do not control it, but I do create boundaries around it, and I keep talking about it. My teens have both been in bf/gf relationships. They have also ended them and neither are in a "relationship" at present. They are getting experience. I have no moral basis on which to tell them not to date. I have a deep care for them that they are physically and emotionally safe and protected to a point, but I don't see it as my job to impose my values onto my kids to that extent. My job at this stage is to stay open, to drop judgement as much as possible, and to keep talking. Keep the communication flowing BOTH ways- lots of listening. I really like what Joanne said about people making sex a bigger sin than other sins. I really don't relate to the huge, huge thing many people here make around the issue.

Yes all manner of things can be absorbed regardless, but there are many, many mechanisms by which the body can buffer and mediate a substance that enters through the digestive system, where it cannot, or the pathways are very different, when a substance enters directly through the blood. It can put the body into great shock when a substance enters directly through the bloodstream- we are designed to have some defences against poisons before they enter the bloodstream, through the digestive tract. Injected vaccines do bypass a very valuable mechanism- for good reason. Our bodies naturally do prevent most vaccines from working unless they are injected. And...your point is strange since most vaccines are given by injection, directly into the bloodstream. Only a minority are not. Yes, I understand that. But throwing away the huge value of natural medicine because of a minority of unscrupulous manufacturers, seems strangely extreme to me. FWIW, my husband and I (both trained naturopaths) feel that Naturopathy is a profession that has in general sold out to Big Pharma. We are ourselves extremely sceptical of the "pill pushing" direction that natural medicine has taken, and I do understand the scepticism of some of the public- and wish more of the public were skeptical at the direction it is taking. The quantity of active herbs in many products that are produced as natural herbal products, but by Pharmaceutical companies (most of those in health food stores here), is minimal. They are often a scam- but the small quantities of active ingredients do stop the companies from being sued for any major side effects, since both the intended effect, and the side effect, will be minimal. But...while I too can be very cynical about the Big Business that natural medicine has become...there are many, many reputable companies, a vast amount of very ethical people, and a huge amount of valuable information, in the natural medicine field. But to me, naturopathy, natural medicine, is not primarily about taking tablets, no matter how potent and wonderful they can be. It is about treating a whole person, about learning what they were doing that made them sick in the first place, about tweaking lifestyle, about educating, about diet- its often about taking them off things. Dh, when working as a naturopath, once cured a man of life debilitating gout just by taking him off Coca Cola. That simple. He just didn't know how bad it was for him. At the bottom line it's all about ethics, and that is an individual thing. I do not trust the ethics of Big Pharma at all, but I might still make use of some of their products on an individual basis. I am grateful for modern science- I just wish it were more ethical and less disempowering of people- I wish they worked with people instead of acting like God and treating people like idiots. I also feel many in the herbal, natural product industry sell out as well, though, and many have jumped on the natural bandwagon to make money unethically- it takes discrimination to know who is for real. But there are also many who don't sell out and if you are truly interested, they are not so hard to find with some research. I dont throw the baby out with the bathwater.

No WAY would I want to be woken up by any noises at all. No WAY would I have my phone make a noise when an email arrives, or even a message. But I don't even like phones. I keep mine turned off most of the time. Really annoys my family :) My kids, I tihnk, do allow it though. They like getting woken up in the middle of the note when someone sends them something. :glare:

Learning to live with less and being happy with a simpler life. I have certainly been through phases of buying a lot of "natural" products in order to feel more "natural". But really, it just feeds consumerism and the "wanting" as a means to happiness. Better to just be happy with less and find other ways to spend time. I'm working on that one :) One thing I like to do is....for physical exercise, I like to walk barefoot. Rather than go to the gym (costs money, and you are on machines- not very natural) or even to pay for various classes, I like to walk. I live in the city but near a river and I can easily take a half hour or hour long walk barefoot on grass and pathways without hurting my feet- they get tough after a while anyway. And it feels so good. In winter, I walk but with shoes on. There are people who do barefoot running too. its quite possible to get plenty of exercise without paying a cent. I also garden, and do yoga at home. I like to rise with the sun, or preferably before the sun. I like to go to bed at a reasonable hour- by 10pm, and get up nice and early. I feel that is a natural way to live. Also, to follow the seasons- even to mark them consciously. So I consciously change my diet, my wardrobe, when the weather changes, and really make note of it. I also notice what phase the moon is in most of the time and track when the full and new moons happen. I think these things keep us more in tune with nature.

Yes, thats an interesting point. My son, now back at school, did an IQ test at the school last week, and got 147. He is my LD kid who was homeschooled because of LDs. The test might have been wrong- I am not investing too much into it- but I was glad he did it because school only served him to feel bad about himself. I definitely homeschooled him to give him the best I could, knowing school had failed him. High IQ does not necessarily translate over to brilliance across the board and often goes hand in hand with difficulties. However, I would not have thought he had such a high IQ either, even though I know he is very bright in certain ways.

It might be as simple as that- he was bored and needed something to do. The number of inane, meaningless posts on my kids' FB accounts is amazing. They also tease each other endlessly and get quite rude, yet they don't seem to take offence much. I see that much more with my son than my dd's FB friends. I would deliberately choose not to take offence at it, and be friendly. If that someone was then rude, it would give me reason to cut them off my FB and refuse to engage further. But I wouldnt take it as a negative thing just by itself.

I love boys. I only have one but between him and dh, the toilet humour just goes on and on. Why do they still think it is funny to fart? I know a woman who has 3 boys and she has painted her bedroom (that she shares with her husband) a beautiful bright pink colour, just so that she can have a feminine sanctuary from all the maleness she lives with.

You have a good point, and gullibility is common either way. The history of the use of herbal medicines is, however, thousands of years old, and I do not dismiss the whole of the experience of the human race in terms of using plants to heal, just because it hasn't all been "scientifically proven."- yet. It takes a pharmaceutical company millions of $ to conduct tests on new products/medicines, and they have to have a financial vested interest in order to do so- so they are already biased. They will not test things, such as cancer treatments, that they cannot patent and make a lot of money from. They also have quite a large acceptable collateral damage- a few deaths, a slew of serious complications- these are all quite acceptable if enough people are benefitted. Herbalist producers rarely have access to the type of money that pharmaceutical companies- the richest companies in the world, think about it- have, to conduct rigorous tests. However, that testing IS being done all over the world as demand of scientific confirmation increases. Yet if one person dies of a herbal remedy, there is a huge outcry. Thousands more people die of doctor error than die of natural remedies, let alone pharmaceutical complications. Many thousands die each year of pharmaceutical drugs due to many, many reasons- side effects, wrong dose, wrong drug given, doctor error etc Herbal medicines have a long, long history. If one takes the time to study that history, one will find a rich source of medicine and healing that kept humanity alive enough that we can be here today. A lot of wisdom was passed down over generations. Scientific arrogance makes people dismiss thousands of years of evidence because million dollar studies haven't been done. We live in a very strange age where we trust a very, very new medicine that even has proven side effects such as a certain amount of deaths, but we don't trust medicines that have helped people for far longer than a couple of decades- and which are generally safer than the pharmaceuticals when used as they are meant to be used. But when you get someone off the street who decides to "go natural" but is basically very ignorant and just believes the advertising, or thinks that because it is natural it must be better or safer, or they triple the dose of a powerful herb, or they take it alongside their pharmaceuticals....that is just pure ignorance. And the herbs and natural products themselves should not be blamed for the ignorance of a culture that is sucked along by whatever they are told. No, people should not blindly "trust" natural medicines any more than they should "trust" vaccines and pharmaceuticals. They should get some education, in the basics, and use common sense, and probably consult some experts. In this day and age, they can do research themselves and take back their power from multi national companies that are very, very interested in making lots and lots of money. And they can grow some herbs in their backyard and take back responsibility for their health from doctors and anyone else who tries to disempower them with big words and a superior attitude. Anyone who thinks vaccines can do no harm has obviously not done the research. And I find the anti vaccinators to be treading dangerous waters when they themselves become dogmatic and emotional and do not do the research as well. In Australia, there is a certain standard for herbal medicines and they are frequently tested. With professional grade products, there is a whole lot of information available about each product and it is verifiable. They are also professional grade for a reason- they are often of a high potency, and they are meant to be dispensed by someone who has studied how to use them safely and with skill. I believe they can generally be trusted. But I also believe that the doctors who dispense vaccines also believe in them, genuinely, and believe them to be safe- but I know I would trust something that has been used and its use and side effects recorded for hundreds of years, before I will automatically trust a pharmaceutical product that has limited and biased testing including results that a certain number of people will naturally be injured. Often only one or 2 studies have been done, and many products are recalled after released, when too many people suffer terrible side effects (that is happening right now with many anti depressants which have been clearly linked to increased suicide rates). I think it pays to keep an open mind either way.

I think your concerns are valid and I also wouldnt and didnt feed juice to my kids when they were little. While they are little, you have a lot of control and its a good time to really make their diet as good as you can. But once they start going to birthday parties and social events, tasting sweets and junk food and what other people eat- it gets harder and harder to completely control their diet and keep it really healthy. I don't think juice is important unless a kid refuses to eat any fruit at all, and even then, not much. My kids eat a LOT of fruit and always have. Its the main snack around here. I didn't buy juice much for years, and we had it diluted when we did buy it ( I would add water to the bottle as it went down). I still sometimes don't buy it for periods of time (I pretend to forget) but they do like it and i prefer they drink juice, to the soda that their dad insists of buying for himself. So , its a compromise. But I think there is a big difference between feeding a much older kid juice, to a young one like the OP's. THey just don't need it- get them in the habit of drinking water.

You can do this- you are going to be ok. I have no idea of the support systems available that you will need to tap into, but even if it takes moving way away from where you are now, you need to find your support and a way to be independent. Take one step at a time and let it unfold. I have no idea what to say to you that wouldn't sound just pathetic advice, but I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and sending you some strength. Many, many women have been through what you are going through, and have come out the other end stronger and wiser (including my own mother).

That really makes sense- I can now see why people might do it without realising its a very old thread- I hadn't thought of that. And its not their fault- that function is obviously there for a reason and looks very tempting to click on it when you are interested. I love "necro posting" btw- wonderful term! Basically, I think so, but more so if it is an issue that is no longer relevant, or not very important. The conversations here are fresh and move more quickly than pretty much anywhere else, and many of us have been here for years. When an old thread is dredged up, especially if the person who brought it up hasn't got anything useful to add to it- or it is a controversial issue- it can get annoying. But I am understanding why people do it now- its not just to be annoying :) I often wondered how they would go back hundreds or thousands of pages and not realise it was an old thread, possibly years old. Now I understand, they probably just clicked on a "related topic" below a current thread (to give them the benefit of the doubt).

Aaahhh. That explains a lot! :001_smile:

:lol::lol:

I use the Kindle ap. Its free.

I havent read that book but someone told me recently that a certain adult very close to me has classic symptoms of being on the autistic spectrum- I had never considered it and did some research and by golly they are spot on. And....I cant tell them because they would just deny it because it would be too shameful to them because of certain things- but, it has made a huge difference for me. When they do certain things, or react or behave in certain ways, now I am noticing and light bulbs are going off. It is helping me be patient and to also forgive myself for a lot of difficulties with this person over the years. Yes, they really were as unreasonable as I thought they were, but as they kept saying, it just how they are.

I can't compare it to the Nook, which is what you are asking- but i have no problem reading on my ipad.

I would be concerned that you might find yourself in a difficult situation with acute pain or discomfort while away. Obviously something is not right. I would call emergency. You have nothing to lose except to be told off for not being an emergency- so what. You might be reassured, you might be allowed to jump in for an ultrasound quickly.