My sister-in-law adopted a child from Romania when he was about 2 years old. She changed his first and middle name and he adapted to it just fine. He is aware of his cultural background and knows how he came to be her son and the name change has never even been a blip on the radar screen of what matters in life. If it meant something to YOU to keep a piece of her name, could you maybe take part of the first name, maybe a syllable that has a nice ring to it, and use it for the middle name? Or is there part of the bio mom's name you could use for the middle name? But unless it matters to you, I would not sweat it. I doubt it will matter to your dd. Children care about who loves them and raises them more than they care about names. (Unless they are funny names that get them teased, then they care a whole lot)

Can you PM me the name of the yahoo group. I tried searching but did not find it.

We have a large active homeschool troop already and the leader is beloved and does a great job. And we will visit the troop. But I doubt it will be a good fit for us. It is very relaxed and very laid back and that is the opposite of what I am seeking.

:iagree: Word.

It seems to me the more protective parents on here are the ones who are on the defensive. The less protective parents are the reasonable sane ones, according to this thread and others like it in the past. I'm sure many people are convinced that my children are coddled, mother-smothered, pitiful children who are probably not developing at an appropriate rate because their growth is stifled. I have not seen one post from the parents who believe in proactive protection attacking or judging any of the more free range parents.

Yes, Juliette is the term for an independent scout. Can you point me towards this forum. I have looked for such a thing to no avail.

I signed my daughter up as a Juliette and I have some questions. The very nice lady who signed us up at the Girl Scout council was clueless. Absolutely clueless. The membership people are not returning my calls. So, I'm thinking when the GSA folks don't know, who else can you turn to but the Hive Mind, right? I understand that Juliettes are allowed to participate in sales (cookie, etc). Where does their money go since there is no troop? Can they use it for their own service projects? Can they use it for camp fees? Can they plan their own trip with their family and use it for their personal activities (admissions to museums and such) Can they take it to the mall? Okay, I am just joking on the last one. What do Juliettes do about ceremonies? Are they just out of luck or could you possibly get a bunch of Juliettes together for that sort of thing? In case you are wondering, the reason we are going the Juliette route is because we can't find a troop that offers what I want from scouting; high achievement, tons of service hours, uniforms. So until I find that troop, we are going it alone.

I don't think I would actually blame the mother, but I do not think she did all that was in her power to protect her child in this situation. One time I was loading stuff in the car and suddenly my oldest, who was about 14 at the time, came running past me screaming. He retrieved his little brother who was standing next to the side of our busy road as a car came speeding around the curve. He snatched him up just in time. The child had wriggled out of his carseat and escaped. Another time I accidentally left a child at the music store when I was picking another kid up from music lessons. Both times I was not deliberately negligent, both times I was to blame, both times I was wracked with guilt for months. If something had happened to either of these children I would not have been without blame.

Not nearly as tragic, but I remember when I was a child that a high schooler was waiting for the bus too close to the curb and the bus ran over his feet. That had a lasting impression on me and you can bet I stood back from the curb when waiting for my school busses throughout my school years!!! But this story is so sad and tragic. Heartbreaking.

No, I think I quoted the poster to whom I was responding. A poster said that by these standards she would be considered a bad mother and I was clarifying that nobody is really saying that. This topic gets to me because this has been hashed out on these boards before and usually the more protective parents are portrayed as smothering nutcases who won't let their children have lives and at our house nothing could be further from the truth. I have no issue with different parenting styles, I have issue with being told my kids are being harmed by my parenting style.

:iagree: When I hear stories like this I don't launch into the blame game. But I do add the tragedy to the little checklist in my head as yet another thing to be vigilant about.

There is a HUGE difference between defending ourselves for our protective stance, and putting your parenting decisions down. From the more protective parents I have not seen one person say to a less protective parent "You should do this" or "your child will be not an independent adult because of your parenting decisions". I think we all respect your right to decide for yourself, we parent the way we feel is right for our families.

Really, I seriously doubt that my adult children felt like their lives were all that limited. And they are independent young adults today. I have enough parenting mistakes to fill 100 books, but being outside with them while they played in our cove is not one of them.

That's why we wear seatbelts and pay attention to car ratings and I practice defensive driving. I can't safeguard them from every danger, but I want to know that I have done all that is within my power to do. I don't judge any other parent for their parenting style and I truly do not appreciate the very thinly veiled put down in your response to me. My response was to the OP only.

Not at our house. We were probably less protective of our oldest (probably because of a false sense of security that somehow boys are safer, stupid on our part, but cultural conditioning and all that jazz) and he was the hardest to get out of our house. The next two were girls and I was pretty protective of them as children and even to some extent as teens. They were both chomping at the bit to get outta here. My 21 year old is back home, but ONLY for financial reasons, certainly NOT so I can protect her from the boogie man. My 18 year climbed in her car the day after high school graduation and drove to another state for a summer job. I won't see her for 3 more weeks. Both my girls are very independent and they were quite sheltered as children. I did not approach with a hand wringing, oh the world is evil, doomsday attitude. I sheltered them with an attitude of you-don't-know-as-much-as-I-do-so-I'm-keeping-you-under-my-watch-for-now attitude. I don't think they ever felt smothered.

I'm with you Heather. I just don't take chances. I am probably the type to be considered overprotective as well. I don't leave kids home alone before 12 and even then it is only for minutes, not hours (like a quick run to the grocery store for one or two items, for example). If mine walk the dog they do it together.(And even that's not a guarantee, but 14 yo, 11 yo and 9 yo are probably safer than an 11 year old all by herself) When I do leave the 14 year old in charge he gets the whole talk about deadbolting themselves in the house, don't open the door for anyone, keep your cell phone on you at all times, speech. I'm not really that interested in statistics. I am interested in my kids.

we have the roku box and love it. And now you can get Amazon on roku and rent newer movies through it. Rumor has it that hulu will eventually play on roku as well.

ABSOLUTELY!!! I am thinking that doing something crazy and different that last summer before college is very wise. Crazy and different can mean anything, for my indoorsy daughter it means living in a tent; complete with a marauding toothpaste loving raccoon making nightly visits!!!

It probably helps that my daughter got up the morning after graduation and was on the road at 5am to go to a Boy Scout Camp in Arkansas where she is managing the trading post. She simply had to snap out of senioritus as I doubt they put up with it among their camp staff.

Relationship is everything. Start dual credits in 11th grade, not 12th. Keep them accountable on a daily basis through 9th and 10th and then ease up a bit in 11th and 12th. Relationship is everything. No screaming during driving lessons, from the teacher or student. Also, no white knuckle gripping the dashboard. Teach them to be self directed. Relationship is everything. Steep them in your faith, but give them room to make faith their own. God does not have grandchildren. They must have their own relationship to God and it might look different than yours. Encourage them to wrestle with the big questions. Don't spoonfeed them your point of view. Relationship is everything. Senioritus is a temporary insanity, really, your sweet young person will return shortly after graduation. Don't ever let that bedroom get too far out of control because then you will be dealing with someone as tall or taller than you and they might not be too easily led to getting their room under control. Stay on top of that one. Relationship is everything.

Holy Smokes. That's the sort of thing I was terrified of during my c-sec. I begged for general just because I was terrified. I did get a spinal and it worked, but dang, I cannot even imagine. *shudder* Who wouldn't scream? I sure would.

Don't I know it??!!?? I love this couple!! There was no way I could afford the other farmer with his $4 a pound ground beef and way pricey roasts. I want to put this farmer on my Christmas list, wash his car, take out his trash...... This last time I bought from him I spent $85 on beef and lamb. When I got home and unloaded the loot into my freezer I realized he had slipped me an extra roast and two extra sirloins.

We have two beef farmers at our farmer's market. The grass fed is a good deal cheaper than the grass/grain fed. Some of that could be attitude though. The grass/grain farmer lives on a century farm that has been producing beef for, well, a century. I think he is banking on his family name and might be overcharging a bit. The farmer I buy from is a husband wife team who say they just want to make a modest living and they price their products acccordingly. Ground beef is about $2.50 pound, roasts run about $3 and up per pound (depending on the cut), ground lamb is $3 per pound, steaks are pretty high. However I don't actually pay these prices as he puts together monthly specials that are discounted. His specials always include a steak and I hide the steaks under all the bread in my freezer until I squirrel away enough for the family.

I am not sure. It is not advertised as such, but I know that the animal never visits the feedlot. The farmer says that he does not feed his hogs anything that he would not want to end up going to his children. I don't worry about certifications or absolutes as much as I concern myself with buying from people who will look me in the eye and answer my questions about their products. I feel good about his treatment of his hogs and that what he does feed them is higher quality than the grocery stores. I really feel good knowing that the hog was raised carefully and humanely, dispatched quickly and without the horror of the normal way pigs are ushered into the everafter. (My husband used to live in a town with a pork packing plant and he knew several people who worked the kill floor and said they were a little unbalanced after several months of doing nothing all day but killing pigs; pig after pig after pig, all day long.)