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Alexigail

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Everything posted by Alexigail

  1. Oh man, I really empathize with what you're going through. My 10 year old son is exactly like this and it has been so difficult. He balks at doing any work and cries, complains, acts out etc. For us, it led to a diagnosis - ADHD and anxiety. He is so smart that it took a long time to piece together why he is struggling. I totally get why you don't want to do less - it feels like rewarding bad behavior. I did realize that because his brother is on the autism spectrum, I may have inadvertently expected a lot from him - to be independent too soon so that I could attend to his brother's needs. We've had a huge shift in our house and I am trying to balance my focus as fairly as possible. He misses out on a lot of my attention because his brother has high needs, so I try to offer him a lot of support, especially when the behaviors come out. This takes SO much patience and we've had some tough moments, so I'm right there with you. Here are some things that have helped: -I started planning the school year by asking him what he wants to learn about. I had him make a list. He got to pick several things (nature study, computer science, physics, Latin) and I got to pick a few (literature, some history, and math). We probably won't be getting to all of these things, but since most of his interests are science based, I'm going to do unit studies of the things he's said he's interested in. -We made him his own space with a desk, chair, and one of these shelves from WalMart. His work is all in one place and organized - he has his own pencil case with all his supplies and his brother is not allowed to use them. I look over his work at the end of the day and make sure that he has the books/papers he needs to do his assignments. -I type to do lists for him that he can check off. This takes a lot of time, but helps so much. He can see when he will be done and wants to do it so that he can get his screen time. It also helps him see that there isn't too much on any given day. Here is an example from last year. -We started using Teaching Textbooks, which appeals to him because he can use the computer and he is also getting feedback from the program itself rather than from me. -We got nature study portfolios. - They're open ended enough that I can tailor his lessons to how he is doing that week -I started using a timer for a lot of things - I made "life skills" a part of his school so that 2-3 days a week he has to work with me on contributing to the household- cooking, laundry, repairs- the trick is that I have to do it with him - He takes fish oil every day -He spends 20 minutes on the treadmill and 15-30 minutes doing chores in the morning. This helps with focus a LOT -Screen time depends on completing school work. Allowance depends on completing chores. -This sounds a little weird, but I got him a Bop-it and a Simon says game. He loves them and they really seem to help with his concentration -I play calming music throughout the day - I don't know if you're religious or not, but we have been praying more together -I got a workbook on Executive Functioning for Teens. He and I are going to work through it together. So far, it looks appropriate for younger children. EF issues are very hard to detect, but they often include things like messy handwriting, disorganized thinking, etc. These can really affect self esteem, and for my son it was a horrible spiral of feeling like a failure and then acting like a failure if that makes sense. I have learned to be really confident in his abilities and to expect from him what I know he can do, but always be there to help too Anyway, I hope some of that helps a bit. Obviously, this took a lot to trial and error. We still have good days and bad days, but I am a lot less stressed and I think he is too.
  2. I was served *hot* cheesecake in a restaurant recently, and it was horrible :thumbdown:
  3. These are my favorite shoes for church: https://www.amazon.com/Blowfish-Womens-Balla-Wedge-Sandal/dp/B016MD0VUW
  4. I've never liked him and I have a bad feeling about his theology, however I think there are probably lots of reasons not to just open your doors, especially if people may be stranded or in need of attention that they can't give. It calls to mind the AstroDome during Katrina when so many people were suffering with inadequate water and food. It was a nightmare and those pictures still haunt me. Having a big building doesn't necessarily mean you have the resources to aid displaced or injured people. I think that many of us (including myself) are quick to enjoy the "downfall" of those we disagree with. But in this case, I'm not sure it was warranted. I also don't understand why it's not ok to acknowledge that Athiests can do a lot of good in the world. They do, and often get shamed for their actions. Saying that God loves Athiests doesn't negate the good work of people of faith, nor is it an insult to anyone. It's absolutely true that people can become comfortable in their belief in God's favor and therefore able to turn a blind eye to those in need. Acknowledging this is not an insult to Christians.
  5. Just to add- I have mixed feelings about this, mostly because I don't think it's terrible to acknowledge that books are indeed associated with pleasure. But to put in a boys book that the purpose of a woman's body is to be attractive is ridiculous, especially because no one says, for instance, "the purpose of a boy's eyes are to make them more attractive." I'm also disturbed by the language that a girl "looks grown up" when they've developed because this is what is often said about girls and women who are assaulted or abused- that they looked older than they were.
  6. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/aug/29/usborne-apologises-puberty-book-childrens-publisher Usborne has apologized for their description of *books* in a boy's puberty book. I was thinking about getting this book and now I'm curious if anyone has had any issues with their descriptions of sexuality and puberty. Would you recommend something else? Mine are 10 and 8 and I'd like them to have a good resource that covers both boys and girls in a respectful way.
  7. Have you read The Gift of Fear? There's a story in there about how the only way to deal with a stalker/ demanding person is to stop responding completely. It's the response, no matter how small, that makes them come looking for more. Good Luck, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
  8. Super cloudy here. 90% but we only saw it for a second before it went behind a cloud.
  9. I hope this family gets some help!
  10. We just bought a house with a galley kitchen and I love it. It takes barely any time to clean and no one wants to leave anything out because it's so small. Less stuff and less space all the way!
  11. I see there's an update, but I wanted to say I was listening to Dear Prudence this week and she had a great suggestion for a response: "You must be so embarrassed to have said that." Said with sympathy, this lets the person know they've committed a faux pas but does not require you to stoop to their level of nastiness. I thought this was great advice. Another one I've used in situations like this is "what a strange thing to say".
  12. ANA tests can be negative if your immune system is not *currently* in overdrive, but that doesn't always rule out autoimmune issues. I've had both positive and negative ANA tests at various times. I'm not saying that's definitely what's going on, just letting you know the limitations of the ANA.
  13. Here are some things that have helped me: Daily naps - the kids have "quiet time" in the afternoon while I rest. fish oil and vitamin D outsourcing as much as possible teaching the kids to do chores, especially to fold and put away laundry. downsizing- life is much easier with less stuff and I can ask the kids to pick up after themselves year round homeschool - This allows me to take breaks, even for weeks at a time, without worrying about finishing everything "on time" lots of reading aloud, audiobooks, documentaries etc - I also have my older son read to my younger one sometimes - they think it's fun taking advantage of mornings, when I feel best My local grocer has a delivery service, and I use that when I'm not feeling well. I also ask my husband to do the shopping at times. A trampoline and treadmill allow my kids to exercise and get their energy out even when I'm not able to take them to the playground. I try to utilize the periods of time where I feel well to plan for when I don't. I set up our school so that if I need to I can easily put my husband in charge of a lesson. Carefully choosing which programs we use. Teaching textbooks, for example, allows the kids to just click on the next lesson and he or I can be there for support without much planning. I can't do fancy lap books or involved projects but they do get a lot of free time to explore and have fun. Boy Scouts and church programs work well as built in social time. The kids get to interact with others and I don't feel I have to reciprocate as I might if they were invited to someone's house. I also have a few understanding friends who are willing to have them over from time to time.
  14. Oh wow, so many good ideas already! I had thought about the Farmer's Market or something similar. I think cards or a calendar would be great, especially since a lot of his stuff is Christmas themed.
  15. My son is 8 and loves to draw. He recently had an idea that he could sell his drawings and give some of the money to the Humane Society (25%). He also has ASD and doesn't understand social nuance. He assumes that everyone will want to pay top dollar for his drawings. He wants me to set up a facebook page to sell his drawings and has spent the last two days drawing and talking about his project. On one hand, I love his enthusiasm, especially since some of this is to help animals. (has already taken up a collection for the Humane Society that he often asks people to donate their change to.) On the other hand, I'm concerned about how this will come across. These are made with love but not super high quality by any means. I would hate to do this and have people make ugly comments. I also don't want people to think we're running some kind of scam. What are your thoughts about this idea? I welcome honest opinions about making this work or an alternate plan. By the way, this idea came because my sister offered him $20 for one of his drawings and posted it to Facebook. Her friends responded enthusiastically that they would also pay for one of his drawings. This was obviously a sweet gesture, but my son has run away with the idea.
  16. Dress Barn has great pants for slimming/ holding in belly fat. They're called Secret Agent and come in many styles and sizes.
  17. Do any of your kids do this? Mine are 8 and 10 and have the summer "bored" syndrome. (They look forward to summer for so long then complain the whole time :001_rolleyes: ) Last year we schooled year round but it's impossible this year because we're moving and I just can't hack it. Anyway, I'm thinking about heading to ReStore and getting them a box of things to tinker with. I'd love some input from those who have tried an informal workshop. What has or hasn't worked for you? Any materials you recommend? Any websites with building plans?
  18. A Very Long Engagement is a beautiful novel, though I wouldn't give it to kids below a high school level. There's a movie as well.
  19. I'm in the same boat. My husband wanted a list of our homeschool needs this year and it looks something like this: paper colored pencils novels
  20. Teaching textbooks comes with the work on computer or on paper so you could do the lectures in computer and the questions/review on paper. My kids live TT. We just switched from Singapore and it's been great so far.
  21. We tried that last year and the dog tore a hole through the bathroom door to get out. This is a Boston terrier, so not a big dog. I'm so glad it's over. Last night he was so upset we thought he'd have a heart attack.
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