Garlic and tomatoes with your ingredients. Yum. Or curry! Slurp.

I've been running through the Lyrical Life Science songs in my head all. day. long. Good thing they're well done, else the sacrilege of the creators taking over and rewriting so many familiar tunes would be too much to stand! :)

:iagree:

Thanks, Unicorn. I'm realizing that I often do the same -- lunch, breaks, up too late. :D And to the person who added the tag "here we go again": I'm presuming that you meant my OP and not the SPAM. I'm sorry. Thanks to a tip from a friend, I skimmed the other recent thread on this very (similar) topic. And I disagree that we're going anywhere "again". I used to spend a LOT more time here than I have lately. TWTM and the boards have been invaluable to me over the last six-ish years, whenever I can get here. What's changed? My big kids are older and needing more discussion time. The littles are doing projects that require more input from me. I try to squeeze in some tiny money-making pursuits, I have another child (SN), I'm a single parent, I'm only home three full days a week (therapies, lessons, dr. appointments). I rarely get adequate sleep (see SN kid), spend time with friends, or accomplish most of the things I'd like to IRL. Things have not always been this way for me and mine. They may not always be this way. I sincerely hope they are not always this way. (And I'm "here" today because I'm coaxing along a cranky printer so I can get the worksheets/cut-outs organized for the next couple of weeks.) Thus my OP -- life changes, then changes and changes and changes again. I came here, as I have before, with a sincere question and a head full of bemusement. For better or worse, Life is a series of trade offs, and this far into the parenting gig, I am not so naive that I think anyone has it all going on. (Well. Maybe SWB. Or her mom. ;) ) So I'll restate: When things have changed for you, what methods do you employ to regain balance? What does balance look like for you? If you're spending lots of time here, what slides? How do you manage that? Any ideas for me? If you're spending less time here than you have before, why? How did you arrive at that decision? Tips? Witticisms? Slogans? Coffeeeeeeeee??? :D

to post here? To read and keep up on the goings on? I used to be around more, when my kids were smaller, and I could pop in while they were finishing worksheets or doing projects that didn't require so much input from me. I have formed lasting friendships based on this board and I'm grateful for that opportunity. The kids are bigger now, I'm the only adult here 99.999% of the time, and even when I come looking for specific information (which has been very helpful, TYVM), I often find myself looking at politically oriented things or just completely frivolous threads. Even if it's only reading the title of the thread (and the first line in the hover feature), it can still constitute a not insignificant time-suck. I struggle to find time to exercise, to keep up with the daily things of life, much less to keep tabs here, especially as the group has grown. How do *you* do it? The kids are ready to move to the next thing now, so it's back to schooling. :)

Your younger children begin appealing to you (the "government") for decisions made in the "governing" of their interactions with the "unjust" older children. :001_huh:

Will be thinking of you and praying. :grouphug:

First, is the thing I'm thinking about true? If so, is it absolutely, certainly true with no other possible explanation for it? If there's some other possible explanation, it's useful to consider that thoroughly -- pretend it's true, if you will. Then, how do I feel when I believe the first thought? And the second? Which of those is more likely to help me get where I'm pointed? From a Christian perspective... If we believe that Jesus died to save us, what else is there? Not one thing can touch us, damage us, affect us in the adverse and destructive ways that we often let them. If God is in His heaven, all's right with the world. Oversimplification? Oh, absolutely. And yet -- is it true? For me -- yes. And when someone cuts you off in traffic? Assume that there's someone in their back seat, bleeding out. Or that the driver is just about in the middle of an exploding aneurysm. Really. My emotions then shift immediately from building irritation and annoyance to compassion. My blood pressure drops, my eyeballs don't want to explode, and I don't have to think uncomplimentary things about anyone's mother. And really -- is it true? How would I know? More often than not, some hideous thing really is happening for that other person. Even if they're just getting in their own way with selfish behavior, some hideous thing is happening or is about to happen to them. Reacting angrily ups the stakes in a game I don't even want to play. So instead, I've gone with a less angst filled series of thoughts. Most of the time. ;) I think the ultimate secret is this: very few of the interactions we have on a daily basis are based exclusively on our own issues. If someone is behaving badly, it almost never has anything to do with you. (And if they try to make it be about you, boy is that a sign of even bigger problems than you already suspected within that person.) So if you can work yourself toward a place where your responses are almost always coming from the same place that you get the compassionate words you use for friends in crisis, I think you'll immediately see a difference. And who knows? Say a store clerk is rude to you one day. Maybe her cat died that morning. Or her grandma was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Or her apartment burned the night before and she's focused on the neighbor, in the hospital with third degree burns because he came to save her. :grouphug: You will so get there, dearie. You will. Most people never even think to ask the question, much less wait, open to hearing the answers. :grouphug:

Re: leaders using ad hominem attacks to shut their constituency down? I've pondered sending out copies of basic logic texts and (when feeling especially cheeky) asking if certain folks would like my little group of homeschoolers to vet their next speeches for them. Ah, fantasy. ;) Hey -- maybe we'll start with the NEA statement on homeschooling. Heh.

Robin -- the last time we read through the story of the Boston Tea Party, I found myself wondering how closely aligned with ELF or the Anarchists that same group would be in modern application of their ideals/actions? ;) We had a chat about destruction of other people's property, concluding that even in context, my group was bothered by the lack of concern -- when ostensibly it was the lack of concern from King George that had taken them to that point. High-minded thinking, no doubt made easier because we aren't facing the kinds of life circumstances or taxes they did, but it made for a compelling conversation. I'm glad to have my punkins thinking about such things. It's good to see you. :)

Yup. But to take it further -- I've been thinking about the "is it any worse than" line of thinking, since it's crept into my approach a little too often lately. I think it's a fallacious baseline. If we're out here, us citizens, striving for some version of the American Dream, can we say with straight faces to our children, things along the lines of, "He started it!" I don't think so. There are plenty of people with legitimate quibbles with both presidents mentioned in this thread, but it's interesting to think about this (tea parties and other protests) as being party-led. I think they have little to do with any political party, and far more to do with loud members of the fringes. As someone who has shown up in support of certain things, I think most people understand that any particular issue is more complicated than a sound bite (though the sound bite is easily parlayed into powerfully fearful baloney, despite evidence), that no single person is to blame for X, and that literal hate speech (as in: I hate _____ and hope he dies and goes to hell) is not only counterproductive but also simple minded and mean -- not, IMO, in harmony with any part of the American Values we each wish to decide and live for ourselves. Or, as I would have said to my children before they started saying it to me: Ad Hominem attacks weaken your argument.

Whenever I get whackado emails, I try to track down something on Snopes that directly contradicts them. Since I started returning emails with a link and "thought you might want to know..." kinds of add-ons, I get a lot fewer nutso emails. And election seasons tend to be very, very calm indeed. :D

Joanne -- I don't know if it's available online or not, but maybe your library would have it... Have you checked out the issue of Mensa on homeschooling? Happen to have it here. :D "Homeschooling for the Gifted" Fall 2007, Volume 38, No. 3. It's not completely in favor of homeschooling, but the balance of the articles is tipped impressively in favor. PM me if you like. Hope you are well, otherwise. :grouphug:

Seconding Buddha Belly's words, dear. PM me anytime. :grouphug:

Actually, the CA courts look at the "family standard". It is rare that a judge will allow a tantruming spouse to get away with flipping the whole family on it's head because he/she has decided to leave. The same would apply to a family who have had their kids in private schools but one parent leaves and decides that the family should now follow his/her new way of viewing things -- which is usually something like: public schools are now acceptable because that parent no longer wishes to pay tuition. :glare:

I'm struggling with this: "because I have a right to food, I'm going to take yours." Arguing for a right to healthcare (or food, etc.) would not indicate that therefore any individual has a right to take it from another. The right to "life, liberty, etc." does not give someone the right to walk over and take another's life, liberty, etc. because he/she wants what that person has. I think the problem comes in when thinking about any sort of redistribution of resources. By being citizens of a particular country (free country) we've consented to living under the laws of that country and benefitting from them. We also benefit from the infrastructure of that country. Infrastructure requires money for it's creation and renewal, in order that citizens might continue to benefit from it -- thus taxes. Some form of taxation is necessary to continue to exist as a profitable society, lest the bridges fall in and import/export activities cease. It seems to me that the argument here is really this: how far do we wish to carry our agreed upon commitment to infrastructure? People may be, coldly, considered a resource as well. A prosperous nation has an interest in it's population maintaining basic health levels, preventing plagues and anything else that could fairly easily be prevented/treated and therefore contribute to keeping productivity up. Coldly, managing resources is a serious consideration. Thankfully, it is not the only possible POV. I've been thinking about Matt 25:32 lately. Wondering things...

Thank you. :)

bump.

Unemployed BIL has been asked to bid on a design project. 10-12 pages, connected to existing database . 1.) How long might one expect to spend on a project this size? (Ballpark -- he's meticulous and would likely add a week to average estimates.) 2.) Realizing that location and experience introduce variability -- any ideas on what an average bid would look like? Fingers crossed and praying, folks, as for many of us here living rather closer to the edge than is comfortable... TIA.

Praying, dearie. Please update as you can.

Angela, I'm answering some of your points (I think :D) and just posting random thoughts that popped into my head as I was thinking about the OP. In regards to other states (PM me for further details), my kids are registered as 99% PS students, 1% HS students. This allows me to select the testing type (required here, regardless) and avoid the boondoggle of the state test, which is widely regarded as a failure. This means that the dollar amount set by the state for school districts to receive per capita is split between my kids and the actual school district. We end up with money for music and swim lessons and curriculum and the school district has been able to hire another teacher, do repairs to buildings and hire help for our program. The teacher we speak with weekly (phone or email) homeschooled her three through highschool and is proud to see them finishing college/grad school now. She specializes in middle school English at the brick and mortar school she's based in, and has been an invaluable resource. The other personnel are fully aware that we use Rod and Staff as part of our language arts program. Most of them, homeschooling their own kids currently, also use religious curriculum. As long as the district isn't asked to pay for it, no one cares. Just as it should be, in my opinion. It is strange to me to think that because I'm enrolled with a public school district as well as the state homeschool association and would receive $25 for a family that I referred to the school district that I am in collusion with something to which I have not consented. In regards to whether or not it is appropriate for a parent to refer to themselves/their family as homeschooling under these or similar circumstances? I choose and implement the curriculum. The district has such minimal say over educational guidelines that I consider it to be completely insignificant. I do a few hours of paperwork every year in exchange for PS funds which enable me to keep my little group learning the way I want them to. For us, it's a huge win. Certainly the public could be better informed (when is that not the case? ;) ), but to me that just proves the need for options across the spectrum, including charters/cyber charters. I know folks involved in teaching and on the board at a particular charter (which offers few actual site-based classes -- their goal is to enable/support homeschooling families, which they do with things like SOTW curriculum, lego clubs, robotics and biology classes, etc.). There's probably not a better self-regulating, more ethical group around than those particular people. Anecdotally, they are a great group of people to know and have involved in education at large. They don't begin to represent the whole gamut, of course, but I think it's important to recognize that there are good people working hard for kids, wherever they are, whatever their role, even if it's not something we want for our own families. One last thing. I was homeschooled when it wasn't technically legal to do so, in a state that didn't (at the time) appreciate parents deviating from the PS objectives. I remember clearly the conversations my mom had with other homeschool families about what to do if the state came to visit. Homeschooling has always been one of the options I had in my head for my kids, well before I had any children. It is a fantastic option, but it isn't the only one, and in some situations, it isn't a viable one. I appreciate therefore all the more, the fact that people blazed trails in order to give their kids the best that they could, and I believe our setup contributes to the same ideals. Blessings to you. :)

Omega 3's, melatonin -- if sleep is an issue contributing to the negativity (one must first have good serotonin levels to make enough melatonin to sleep well), protein, lots of water, exercise that wears her out. I'd start with that, then think about finding an NT or willing pediatrician to explore amino acid levels and maybe then recommend cognitive behavioral therapy with some fantastic therapy person -- it can make all the difference in the world and the younger it's started the better the results. Also, calcium/magnesium and vit D contribute to good brain function and muscle recovery -- the whole neuro (or "nerve") connection thing, throughout our bodies. HTH, hugs to you. Have you seen The Mood Cure? Or any of Dr. Amen's books? Lots of sensible info that can be applied directly. Sorry to not have been more help with dosing info. Hugs again.

And I think it's really interesting, in the abstract. Doesn't it feel like these things are judged as moral issues? I think it's really more a question of brain function. Really. And that lady has probably been made to feel bad her whole life for being unable to track ___________ and she's sick to death of it and she's reversed the moral judgement to self-soothe a little. Much the same way people often do about all kinds of other issues. Shoot, she probably doesn't even know that she's a mess, internally, and I bet she contributes to her own dysfunction with all kinds of negative self-talk. Or maybe she's beginning to understand it and it's really uncomfortable, like growth usually is, and visiting your home in it's apparently "perfect" state has provided her with weeks of either self-condemnation or fodder for reorienting herself as she strives to learn new life skills. Whatever it may be, try thinking of her as suffering from a congenital neurotransmitter imbalance -- that little moment of compassion is tremendously freeing. ;)

:iagree: In this situation, there's no finessing your next move. And you should feel no shame in being direct. You've given them the opportunity to reply with humility and kindness, they've opted not to, their response does not support the way you want your children to see and experience this world, especially not church. As painful as this is, breathe deeply and be strengthened in the knowledge that you're doing the right thing for your kids. And kindly, at that. Once upon a time, in your shoes, I would have been terribly worried about how I was going to be received and dealt with, were I to reply the way Danestress suggested. Here's the thing: they already see you and your family as not worthy of respect. They're treating you badly and they think they can get away with it. You've initiated Matt 18 already. Follow through, dear, and may your whole family heal quickly from this experience, growing even stronger for it. :grouphug:

I'd definitely write a letter -- the only way we see improvement is if folks know what needs fixing. Outline what you said here -- that you've been thrilled with him in other ares and appreciate deeply most of what he's offered for your family. In addition to stating the frustration you have at time lost with your son while waiting to get a proper diagnosis, consider providing links to info that points him toward what his profession recommends on the subject and ask him to read/think about this perhaps new info that you've provided before scheduling an appointment with you to discuss what he thinks about all this. At that appointment I'd hear him out and then decide whether or not you're ever going back. There are good reasons to fire a doc, but make sure when/if you do that you're clear about why. Their other patients likely experience similar frustrations but may not speak out. A little bit of your time can have a huge, positive ripple effect. :grouphug: