the shot yet this season. As someone who has had every respiratory yuck out there, I had my first one when I was about 19 -- it was the first year that I made it through the season without some sort of pneumonia or bronchial infection. Of course, it was a total coincidence because the bugs have nothing to do with each other, but it was a good rec for myself to have it in subsequent years. I have two boys with RAD and both have barely missed hospitalization with lung infections, so I'm biased in that direction. This year, the kids had only very mild aches for the first 24 hors, fading out into the 48 hr mark. They had swimming lessons following the shot, so worked the muscles and avoided site soreness. That was it for us this year for symptoms, but I credit it to the fact that I no longer have anyone who does things like sneak a lightening quick lick of someone else's shoe or a chair (kidding about the licking part, but dontcha wonder sometimes?) or snuggle waiting room toys. Yuck-o. :D

I've been enjoying your mom blog. Not as frequently as I'd like, though. :)

or, "Why would you think so?" Then just: :bigear: The other day a friend's daughter asked what "execution" meant. My friend gave her an age-appropriate explanation about death, execution usually being the term for consequences given (the child is just five, so there were lots of generalities). The kid says, "Is that what happened to that lady in __?" Mom is horrified, wondering what's up, but persists a little more. Turns out little chickie was looking for clarification on a word she'd heard a grown-up use and was drawing corelations to the funeral of a beloved (very old) friend which they'd attended a few months back. A few years ago, I thought one of mine was yelling about what could and could not be done to an elephant's pen*s. Well it was the elephant's PEANUTS they were arguing about, of course! :lol: Take a deep breath and be as matter-of-fact as possible -- you've got all kinds of your own emotions surounding the topic of death/illness with your sweet little one, and rightly so. But she's got only her own "stuff" on the topic, filtered through a 3 yr old's brain and experience -- very good chance she's processing words that she's got no context for. OTOH, if taking her in for a check-up would help you to feel better, do it. No biggie. :grouphug:

I'm, just, just, jealous and speechless and how do you rate, anyway?? ;) You lucky girl!! Hi to you too, btw. How are you and yours? Big hugs, ma'am.

Aw, thanks! Any plans to meet? ;) Say, January? When the holiday brain subsides? Or did we do something more recently and I floated past it, oblivious?

Hugs back at ya. :D We're trundling on with regular life and generally doing well. How're you? I seem to remember some hurdles for your family this year?

We are well, or rather sick, but generally doing well, and happy to be here. How are your punkins? :)

To all the people who work so hard to keep this board great, from the folks who I hope are well-paid to do so ;), to the founders of the Well-Educated phenom, to those of us who've been here from a way back when, to the "fresh blood" who are just beginning to train up the kids my children wait to babysit. Things continue to be a tightrope walk around here on so many levels, and will for, oh, ever. But I am feeling just so very blessed to "know" such incredible people: y'all are so dang smart, funny as heck, sometimes as disagreeable as, well, my children when first awakened :D , and a precious resource for so many, hugely varied, absolutely vital, or completely silly reasons. Instead of naming names, which would take forever to get through the million or so of you, and I need to sleep so the creeping crud can hie itself out of my bronchii, I just wanted to tell ALL of you Thanks. You rock. You know it's true, no need to blush. I'm rarely here these days -- too much Real Life to be completed. But still, you absolutely rock. It's a gift to be able to come here if I'm fresh out of ideas for a cantankerous kid or medical issues or special needs or a deep discussion about all things homeschooling. I hope you all have a peaceful holiday (those of you not observing -- make up an excuse to sit with a cuppa something nice and think grateful thoughts -- I'm feeling bossy, so it's an order). May you look gently upon the cranky relatives in such a way as to make them sweetly subside, unable to remember why they would ever have thought to be cranky in the first place, may your dog leave the turkey alone, may the pies be just right, may you end the day with a smile on your face, a hug for your honey and feeling in your tired feet. Blessings, people. :grouphug:

I'd be happy to participate in some sort of petitioning or letter-writing process. I think having someone with your variety of experience would be flat-out awesome. :D Maybe some of us could start with op-ed type pieces at the local level? "JFS for Secretary of Ed." Woot!!

So exciting this part, isn't it? Make me relive all mine, just a little. Hugs and blessings to you, m'dear -- can't wait for pics. :001_smile:

I hope you get a sticky, because this and a few other sage posts of yours and others are what keep my eyes from becoming permanently crossed. :D Thank you.

:bigear: :D

ITA. He may have thought the resistance to taking her clothes off to be indicative of something else. Who cares. I'd definitely be in touch with the head of the clinic and/or, if you know a doc, I'd maybe describe the situation and ask what they would do with the child and about the general weirdness exhibited by the doc if it were his/her child. So sorry this happened -- what a way to mess with a sensitive kiddo's head! :glare:

I'd get some into a drink NOW -- even water, as it's absolutely flavorless. I'd also take him in today because this can get ugly fast, esp. if he's in that much pain. ITA that he's likely to need retraining -- Miralax is VERY useful for that. JM personal exp, not qualified to offer up med advice, yadda yadda... :grouphug:

Take along a stack of things like The Aeneid, Plato's Republic, a copy of the Constitution, haul along a portable DVD player and the SOTW cds for "when they get bored." I've found that the best weapon when dealing with doubters is and overwhelming pile of information -- relevant or no. You might want to get all excited when someone commences to quiz your little Suzie and offer to discuss the theories of education from the last fifty years. Or the finer points of selecting Junior's high-school science curricula. Or maybe one of your offspring could just randomly spout another language? I was reading Genevieve Foster's George Washington's World aloud in the pediatrician's waiting room yesterday. Hey, we needed some more read-aloud time and the doc was running late -- perfect opportunity for car-schooling (gone haywire) to take place and keep the munchkins from running amok. The place was packed and stone silent as I read. :lol: We'll be with some obnoxious folk on the same day. I'll be packing that same book along, plus Skip-Bo and Uno and a healthy sense of humor. And my invisible light saber for when they -- the adults, that is -- get out of line. Perhaps we should meet back here for debriefing? :D

Good Chocolate and the ability to get to it Happy kids The smell of coffee -- even the coffe aisle in the grocery store People who make me laugh 'til I have to cross my legs :D Clean and shiny anything Good books Plans coming together

Would he handle well being surreptitiously videotaped? That often doesn't go well, but sometimes, with a willing-ish participant, it's just the ticket. I know many people who wouldn't be caught dead speaking to __________ the way they speak to _________. To bad it's often one's child, huh? Or would he respond well to you addressing the issues head on? "I notice our child ______ just lights you up like none of the rest of us do. I know you're busy right now, but could we think a little about this and talk more later? I think we might figure out some pretty basic ideas to make the home/table/situation less fraught for you (us all) if we work on it a little. Love you! XO." It's so hard to take oneself out of the situation, isn't it??

because parts of the book make no sense, at least in application to my own, but I just LOVE how Parenting with Love and Logic deals with this kind of thing. maybe the thing I love the most is that if you're following their suggestions you get to say things, with love and compassion, like: "Bummer." When a kid has pushed and annoyed a parent to a fine frazzle, there's really nothing better than putting on one's sweet, drippy, pre-school teacher voice and handing the problem back to said kid. Ahhh... If the child is literally unable to respond in any other manner, find an OT for an eval. Sensory overload, be it hormonally induced or just particular to that kid, has things that can be done to help. And the relief in using such tools almost equals that of the aabove scenario. :tongue_smilie::D In the meantime, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Hey -- have you seen The Last Lecture? I can't remember if he talked about it there or in his book or in an interview, but Randy Pausch discussed frankly that he owed his success to a.) the boss who told him to grow a little humility and b.) his wife, who screwed his feet to the ground on a regular basis. He nearly lost his first teaching job because he was right. All the time. Anyway, I don't know if you've seen this already or if it would be appropriate for your kiddo, but when I read the above, I immediately thought of Randy Pausch. BTW -- I'm taking notes from everything you're doing/gleaning re: this age/stage and thinking of it as Cliff Notes for parenting. :D I'm only 13 mos behind...

Mine is often a very big help with his little brother. He's begun hopping out of the van and grabbing out the stroller/wheelchair without my having said anything at all. Today he suggested that he and a friend should take their moms out for dinner so they could "practice what it would be like for a date." He often tries to martial his sisters so I don't have to keep stuff lined up (this does not always go as well as he would like). Thanks for starting this thread. :)

Cleo, coffee sounds great. :o) Re: math We often use a white board and I too find it to help knock down the enormity of the subject. Re: writing I don't have him write much on his own. If he does, it's usually narration in a subject that he syncs with enough to keep focus while he's finishing one to three paragraphs. Honestly, I'm relying pretty heavily on the fact that he likes to read and reads good stuff (mostly) to model good writing for him. I've wondered about the planner overwhelming the living daylights out of the kid, but as we set the stuff out he seems pretty in-line with it, initiating parts of the plan and all, but then follow-through is a struggle. A Struggle, I tell you. Clearly this deserves some more thinking. I hope that the eval shows something useful, even if it's just ideas and not a diagnosis. I think that the most useful thing I can do is focus on the really good stuff about this child and grow new neurons for myself as we enter every day into new territory for both of us. :D Thanks for the advice and the commiseration -- keep it coming: I'm often looking for ideas and new ways of thinking about ed and children, esp. in uncharted waters. (Hugs back, Martha.)

Mine is a young 8th grader -- July birthday. He's not working hard academically. There are consequences. We do LOTS of swimming to "get tired." Music (piano and violin) seems to be his biggest thing and greatest connection at this point. I'm beginning the process of ADHD eval--symptoms have been there since he was five or 6. I see occasional spurts of spontaneous responsibility and growing maturity, but it doesn't seem to be keeping pace with the academic need for it. Since he's my eldest, do I really just need to adjust expectations for this particular child? The biggest reason (IMO) that homeschooling has worked well for this kid is that he has had lots of one-to-one with mom (tutor style). Second biggest reason is that he's been free to read science and, secondarily, history and fiction, ad nauseum. His brain soaks this stuff up and then does amazing things with it. However. Now that he's being asked to do more on his own and self-regulate the process (has a planner with assignments that we work out, some assigned, some chosen), it's agony. More for me than for him. :tongue_smilie: I've discussed matter of factly with him stretching 8th and 9th grades into three years. Not as punishment, never as punishment, but in order to allow the processes to line up. He needs to be in a certain place in math (he does problems in his head, arriving at the correct answer before he can consciously work through it and can't explain how he got there, hates and fights having to go back and write out the processes). He should be both able and at least minimally willing to comply with writing assignments. He seems to become lost in the writing process and gets overwhelmed, discouraged, then gives up entirely. None of these things were a big deal in a younger kid. Indeed, I expect to have to work through some of this per each kid's needs/issues. But still? And now what? Thank you for reading and thinking and any wisdom you've got. I'll be back for more later.

Do you have things like the McGuffey series? Little House? Access to a library that has books with tapes that "read" to her? I think she'll be okay, especially if her decoding skills are really great and it sounds like they are. Having said that, I'd try to change things up every few weeks to keep your eyes and ears open. In other words, if she's really running with it and is okay, you work a little more on other things with her. If not, you do more hands on stuff for a couple of weeks until she kicks back in. But, since we have these two who are in the same place in birth order and practically share a birthday, let me say that I doubt you have anything at all to worry about. Mine is working ahead in just about everything and I've opted to slow a bit in reading to keep her from starting 2nd grade work at Christmas. Not that I'd mind, you know, but then what do I do with her when she overtakes the others??? :D Hugs and blessings to you and your gorgeous kidlets (loved the pics of #5).

wants to engage, especially with a pattern established of not doing so and your added note that you suspect Aspergers. Have you looked at any of the lit or websites/groups for spouses of Aspergers adults? I looked around awhile back for some (ahem) people I know and there's an astonishing amount of conversation on just these kinds of topics. I personally have found it interesting to note the number of people who are aware that they're not exactly warm and fuzzy types, but desire to impact their kids as "normally" as possible. Thus they search for just this kind of thing. Sorry I don't have more concrete info, but I do think it's out there. Probably the most difficult thing for your dh will be tolerating the simple and quite normal variability in the relationships he's looking to bolster. Perhaps with some very matter-of-fact explanations about what normal looks like, things will go fairly smoothly. I absolutely applaud you too for doing this. Maybe get some candid pictures of those faces when they come in from playing catch and etc. and make an album of dad-times -- seeing the concrete-ness of it may help him quite a bit. What a very cool and worthwhile thing to undertake. :grouphug:

1.) I need a house that meets ADA standards and has enough room for all of us -- me and five kids. There are also my parents to consider -- they're getting older and will need some help eventually so I want to be either sharing property or otherwise nearby. 2.) I must get past this divorce business. It may be final next month and I'm hating every part of it so much I could vomit. I'm not sleeping well and the kids are likely to be made to attend a certain wedding (perhaps even surprised with it) when each has voiced strenuous objections to doing so. 3.) I have to be able to focus better. The details of three NT kids, plus one with major needs, plus one with attentional issues, pull me in opposite and competing directions all day long. Mostly it's okay (it is what it is), but I sure could use, I don't know, respite care? A fairy godmother??