Crista, I agree that self-control should be expected and enforced. However, I wouldn't, for example, leave a five year old alone within reach of a boiling liquid. I also have child-proof locks on certain cabinets to keep toddlers from a potentially deadly accident. I think that certain stages of life and certain levels of brain function require perhaps different levels of expectation. Other issues aside, as someone with ADD, you probably know intuitively that as frustrated (and probably furious) as you are with her about this and many other issues that are making you feel a bit crazy around the edges ;) , punishing her will not change her ability to control herself. You're probably already doing quite a lot with her, so pardon me if I'm overstepping, but... I'd go with sadness and explanation of the loss of "innocence" or however you'd like to explain it, relating it to her fun times and similar make-believe experiences. Make it as much of a teaching moment as you can -- the more emotionally charged your interaction is, the less she's likely to get out of it. And then I'd go find more resources for her, for myself, for the family. This is wearing on you, as you said, so it's time to change up the story in favor of one that helps you all to thrive. :grouphug:

No, her ability to hear and synthesize your words into action has absolutely NOTHING to do with your parenting. Period. I would not punish for this. Have you seen Dr. Amen's ADD book? Hold on -- I'll go find it and share the actual title.... Healing ADD. I recommend it highly because he takes into account all facets of a diagnosis and what it means for the family too. I absolutely believe that her impulsiveness is taking a toll, probably a huge one at that, but there are things that can help demonstrably with that. :grouphug:

Holy cow -- I'm imagining that mama's schock! Glad it all turned out well -- perhaps the aquarium will offer this kid a job in a few years? ;)

Cheddar to have with/on pistachio crackers, with dried peaches and/or tangerines. Ginger cookies and full water bottles. Apple slices. Carrot sticks. And a roll of paper towels. ;)

Had this during pregnancy and occasional recurrences. My plan has always been to go to a derm and get the prescription and just be done with it, but it's gotten better instead of worse. If it ever got worse, I'd go. My understanding is that treatment is VERY successful. HTH.

Have you tried keeping them in motion while they're memorizing? The more muscles that are used, often the better the memory is... I have one who memorizes best when walking, does regular work more easily while standing up and fidgeting. I'm thinking of buying one of those balls made especially for sitting, to see how that would work.

Same here.

Music lessons: About five hours, including travel time. Therapies: About seven hours, including travel times. Two days a week we're mostly at home, unless there's a sick-kid dr.'s appointment or something. We have two other days per week that have chunks of time (around four hours) when we're at home and uninterrupted, save for snacks/drinks. ;) During the crazy lessons/therapy times, the kids have books to read (assigned lists or self-selected), history on CD, science on CD (LLS songs), Latin DVDs, and chunks of one-on-one time with me carschooling math/English/spellling/Latin/worksheets for 20-40 min, depending on the needs/assignments. Caveat: When my kids were younger, the very notion of taking on such a thing (I typed "insanity") would have put me over the edge. This schedule is out of necessity and we make it work. If I had a governess (snort) or music teachers who would come to my house (a friend does come to tutor one of mine in math), we'd stay home more. But as the needs and talents have revealed themselves, we can't not address them. So we make it work. I heart drawn-up and posted schedules and developing a good groove -- though as soon as we have one, something's bound to need changing. One recommendation: If you're contemplating these kinds of changes, suspend your desire for things to go smoothly. They won't. Or they will, and then your hopes and expectations will rise accordingly, only to slam you to the ground when someone forgets their swimsuit or violin or shoes. Whereas, if you know that sticking an extra ten minutes into the schedule will allow you to deal effectively with those upheavals, it's much better for your psyche. And your blood pressure. :D HTH. ETA: I feel like we're out of the house an uncomfortable amount. But. How else to pull this off and get the kids what they need? (misc appts plus lessons plus therapy) I covet alone time and make sure that I have some at least a few nights/week when the kids are in bed. SWB's "Quiet Reading Time" in the afternoon is my very favorite thing in the world and the one thing that all the kids happily volunteer for. Without those things, we'd none of us make this happen -- all seem to really need the recharging. I keep telling myself that it's a season. And it is. ;)

Yikes! I'd go in for cultures. And I'd run the toothbrush through the DW every evening until you're good and sure that this is gone. So sorry. Maybe it's not strep, but another bug? No way to know 'til you have the culture. :grouphug:

Oh, Kay! I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad that your sister-in-law and nieces have you and that you have them. What a sad, horrible loss. Blessings to you and yours, and the whole of your family. He sounds like a great man, in all the best senses.

Will this then mean that Saxon is having Alg I, Geometry, Alg II, and Pre-calc? Is this replacing the past structure or just an addition to their line? (Breathing deeply -- I've just today laid out in my head how this whole durned thing was going to work for HS. Ack!)

Glad I could help! ;o) Susan, I think you have great info here and a lot of thinking to do. :) I too often found myself overwhelmed with good choices, but that's slowed as I'm more just plain overwhelmed (heh) and find myself sprinting to just get things done. I wanted to mention that I've been re-listening to SWB's CD on Writing (I think it's available at PHP). It was so incredibly helpful to me to hear it boiled down, even after almost seven years of working with TWTM. My reluctant writer is now doing basic outlining of spreads out of Kingfisher as we finish up Modern Times with SOTW -- last time through for him (sniff). We sometimes still split the actual writing part of it -- improved focus = less kahfitzing about the writing. It sounds like you might find that cd helpful too. You might want to look at the student book for SOTW. If a friend has a copy? If you can see one at a convention or something? I think it's been invaluable to have my kid engaged through SOTW projects and mapwork and coloring for the last five years. It's made the idea of transitioning into bigger things (writing out 10 lines or so) much less overwhelming to him. You might glean ideas for how to approach her learning style with creative activities, even as you fluff up her writing abilities. Also, if you're interested, I've been reading The Challenging Child (again), esp. the ch. about the innattentive child. Sigh. The best part is that Greenspan suggests, through stories/case studies, that correction of avoidance patterns is paramount, then gives some ways to help this happen. As I explained to my child today, it's terribly important to recognize that your brain views certain things as "projects" -- interesting problems to be solved, games to be played, pins to be set up and knocked down. It is as important, if not moreso, to recognize that your brain views other things as "insurmountable problems." Now that we know that, we're going to figure out how to retrain that brain, keeping it from turning immediately away from the thing that seems so alien, then walking it around the "insurmountable" object so that it can see that it's just a rock in the path, just like the "projects" are. Only difference is that the "insurmountable" things require that we look a little harder for hand and toeholds before we scale them and proceed knock them down too. HTH -- a bit? Looking forward to hearing more about what you decide to do. :)

*Waving*

Hugs and prayers for you -- hope things work out quickly and well. :grouphug:

Maybe we'll try two mornings a week, just to start and familiarize him with the classroom and the staff with him. Our schedule is so durned full I've had a hard time figuring out transport (he's not really able/ready for the bus yet). I'll push more about the respite and personal care time too. His neurologist hasn't thought a sleep study would be necessary as of yet, but I'll ask when we see him again. He startles repetitively as he's dropping off (without meds) and then will just give up trying to sleep. Since starting the benzodiazipine class of meds, he's more regular about naps, even though he only gets one dose, at bedtime. It's almost as if getting better sleep more often at night has allowed him to fall asleep better for naps too. Still, it seems a little unusual that a 3yo would sleep between 6 and 9 hours out of 24, no? Ottakee -- it's nice to "see" you. I think of you from time to time. :) I'll check in later and see if anyone has added anything -- thoughts welcome!

What age/grade? Are you looking for a whole curriculum or certain subjects? :grouphug:

LOL, Janna. I don't know what to say back, but when mine pulled this on me, I'm afraid my eyes bugged out a little bit. Before my mouth dropped open. Before I said, "What? What did you say? No really, I need you to repeat that because I don't understand. Please explain." She repeated it and I told her that I'm sorry she's feeling neglected, that it probably represents her entering a new stage of life, really, things change as we grow and take on different things, but that she's notnotnot running the house. Laundry or dishes or cleaning your room does not equal "doing everything." Then I sent her to bed. Same scenario, roughly, as yours. Does this mean that they've been feeling like things are scrambled and that then, when someone does something that's really attentive to their needs + they're tired + it's late, they just spew? I'm thinkin' mebbe so...

I've been frantically busy and have rarely made it to the boards over the past few months, so I'll start with info/background. I'm flying solo with 5. My eldest is bright and reads a ton, has OT for ADHD/Aspie-esque features adn math tutoring because he learns best when he's one on one (focusing). My second is the "cruise director" -- organizing everyone and everything, she's bright but sometimes (often?) resistant to following through with school (about average in this, I'm guessing). My third is a bit behind in her reading, finds math easy and fascinating, loves English, is a trooper. My fourth, also a trooper, loves everything about school, is about 6mos-1 yr ahead in her curriculum, generally hard-working and fearless. My littlest guy (deep breath) has apraxia/dyspraxia, dysphagia, CP type issues, perhaps seizures (time for another EEG), Cortical Visual Impairment and Intermittent Exotropia, Reactive Airway Disease (NEBs when he gets sick), does not sit or stand for more than a few seconds at a time, will soon have a walker/gait trainer, planning on a feeding chair (pureed diet, no g-tube), and getting ready to potty train (gulp) at three. The big kids play piano and violin, little guy loves music but tolerates minimal actual violin practice (four at a time is LOUD). Little guy has one hour of Speech, one hour of OT, two hours of PT every week. He's eligible for SpEd preschool here, but I haven't visited the classroom yet because I'm trying to fly under the radar of flu and misc bugs (weight loss and neuro symptoms result). I have met the therapy team with the SD and they're great, but he's eligible for only about an hour and 20 minutes total per week. So that's pretty much life here. Crazy busy, as you'd imagine, but rewarding and moving right along. Mostly. :D Last Tuesday, an evaluation with a new Speech Path person to address needs for Assistive/Augmentative communication equipment revealed that he's identifying colors with near 100% accuracy and chooses A's and B's correctly when offered two letters to pick from (we ran out of time to do any more). He loves the 10-15 min/wk he gets on the computer during OT and has made great progress with head switches and a touch screen. He tracks moving objects well and is obviously very involved/invested in stories/games/songs (color matching, following directions). So. I'm a little surprised by all this, but have thought that he's getting ready for reading, just by little things that are familiar to me from my other kids: loves stories, turns pages (closed fist, mostly), tries to lurch at the TV when his sisters watch Word World, seems to be paying a different kind of attn to ABC books/dvds. I've been thinking for awhile about how to teach a kid who can't just *tell* me what he knows. I've assumed that I'll be reading a TON to him (his sibs will too) and that the minimum for him will be yearly completion of the "What Your _____-er Should Know" series. But watching this, what he did for a complete stranger (family/familiar therapists usually get more out of him), I'm thinking he may need more as time wears on. I've been thinking about that preschool class because I'd love to have a few hours/week with a clearer focus for the bigger kids who are getting ready to write mondo papers, do algebra, and generally take on thigns that require some chunking of my time. The younger girls can still do school in 1.5-3 hours/day and that kind of time isn't too difficult to come up with. I'm not really considering putting anyone in school (except maybe preschool), though I evaluate that option a few times/yr in my head. :D The details w/ preschool can be worked out for sure, but... (whispering) I'm tired. The house is too often a wreck. We live with my darling parents, whom we love to death, but parenting under the watchful gaze of one's own parents can be, um, challenging. The house is full and the exciting new equipment will stuff it further toward the gills. The current support amt. does not allow me to move into anything other than a very small two bed apartment with stairs (would not accomodate little guy's chair or our backs). I love the things we're doing (almost all of them), but it adds up to a LOT to do, you know? I need some help, I think. Little guy can take up to three hours a day for food prep and feeding. He needs working with too, because as much as he gets into certain dvds/PBS programs, he ought not veg. He's not ambulatory (yet) and can't reorganize himself into new activities when he's bored. I have a call in to the agency that's supposed to evaluate and provide personal care hours. He has major sleep issues (went down at three one night this week) which are an artifact of his neuro diagnosis and will not be going away. He takes meds for this and probably always will, so that might equal some respite care time, but the funding is sparse and shrinking. Maybe I'm just in the place where I'm too tired to think my way out of this? We'll be going for a nice walk later, and I'm hoping it'll help clear my head. Any thoughts are much appreciated.

I'm sorry to hear that -- it sure doesn't sound like much of a support group! :grouphug:

I have a 13 yr old who will be 14 just before he begins 9th grade. There's no question that he's capable of getting RunningStart, AP, etc. classes. We've discussed it and he knows that the single thing that will hold him back is his willingness to own his learning experience. In other words, if you're given instructions, you'll need to follow through, you'll need to take the initiative for clarification, etc. If he wants to do this, I will throw myself behind it and do all that is my part. But he will fail miserably if he doesn't do his. After all, I already *did* this part of school. It is not to my benefit to hold his hand beyond helping him to develop skills that make him self-reliant. That said, here's what we're doing. We're through a VS which has enabled us to reorganize finances enough to provide him with a refurbished laptop in the next couple of months. I'm thinking about VP Biology and Latin. Those are expensive, but not something I can do as well as I'd like, since I've got the littles to consider. I've got the history stuff laid out in my head for this coming year. We'll continue with R&S 8, then 9. Reading lists, etc. Honestly? I think my focus this next year for him is on his delivery in relation to his stated goals. He'll accomplish plenty, learn plenty, but if his grades aren't around 90%, he's going to experience this upcoming year as an 8th/9th split and get credit for 9th grade in the 10-11 school year. He's young. He's not extra mature. Kids in that group often fail when working with kids older than they. So I'm not anxious to include him in a scenario that has a proven high rate of failure, kwim? So we'll see. That's my story. Which could theoretically change at any moment. Based on sleep or new info.

I have two working slightly below "grade level" in R&S English. If you start now, there will be quite a lot you can do orally, two or even three lessons in a day, or combine lessons with certain worksheets (very inexpensive booklet, well worth the price, mine love the WS). She's probably at a place where she could zoom through certain parts, skip whatever she's already got in her skill set, and move on to the next book quickly. The sixth grade book is right now (in Lesson 90-100) diagramming various types of adjective phrases. Though thoroughly explained and well laid out, this is not simple. It is by no means the end of the road for diagramming. In your shoes, I think I'd want to get her as much practice and familiarity as possible, very quickly. HTH -- I'd be interested in knowing what you decide to do and how it goes. :)

I'm slow chiming in, but hey!! Now that I've said hey, I probably won't be back for, like, weeks, and then will begin to wonder if I'm sane or real or just a momma-machine, running my fool legs off, and moving too fast to be visible... :D I'll just continue to think good thoughts in your direction. Toodles!

Susan, here's my plan so far. I have a bright, reluctant writer (read: freezes up when asked to think beyond baby steps), who will be roughly a (young)ninth grader this fall. He's going to read about a chapter a week, along with selections from TWTM reading lists. He'll continue to outline through perhaps three or four chapters before he'll be really ready to start writing papers. He'll write about a page a week for history, some from SWB's books, some from his reading lists. He'll be expected to write a couple of larger papers (5-7+ pgs) during the course of the year. Depending on how he does with that, he'll be assigned more or different reading. I've recruited family members for various sections of history, folks who've been fascinated with certain time periods/historical figures, who would welcome an opportunity to discuss their fascinations with a budding historian. He'll continue to play Civ IV. Laugh if you must ;) but he oftens relates quotes cited in the game to appropriate situations IRL, spawning lengthy conversations about the way he's playing vs. how history really unfolded, how to keep your civilization from crashing -- with illustrations from the bigger, "less good" decisions ever made (last tree chopped down on Easter Island, not having a back-up plan for when the Little Ice Age hit Greenland). We'll adjust and ramp up from there. I don't think the book in question is a complete curriculum, but I have to tell you, from the skimming I've done so far, it rocks as a spine or resource. I think that combining it with the possibilities laid out in TWTM would result in a solid high school history program. Have I mentioned that I sure hope Susan (W.B.) hurries up with those other books? We've got about 14 months before we'll be needing the second book, which sure doesn't give her much time for three and four, now does it? :D Hope that helps some, Susan. Nice to "meet" you.