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Posts posted by Lisa3033

  1. We have a pretty decent library set up. There are 5 in the area, and two are pretty good sized. I "order" them online to be placed on hold, I almost never go there looking for specific books as the ones I need are usually coming from 2-3 different libraries. I can pick up from any library and return to any library. The biggest one has a drive up window so I don't even have to get out of my car.  I have a 50-75% success rate for random titles. If I read a blog or article that says "you should be able to get this at your library", there's a pretty good chance they have or can get it. 

    I don't have much problem getting the book I need for scheduled times. We're doing BFIAR with my preschooler this year and will just switch when we do which book if I can't get a particular one in. 

  2. This one seems like a no-brainer.  Mom is waiting outside the door and the kids inside have cell phones.  I'm trying to imagine a scenario where this wouldn't be reasonably safe? 


    The biggest danger would be a "helpful" person calling the police about unatte.nded children.

    • Like 4
  3. I'm a dental hygienist. Our office does not allow parents back and 99% of them are fine with it. Parents(often without thinking they are doing this) do not allow their kids to talk when asked a question. I ask jr a question and mom quickly replies. No. If you allow this child to be 100% responsible for their own oral care(and most parents do expect their kids to brush/floss on their own...) they need to answer about their brushing habits and listen to dental care instructions.


    Kids seem worried and scared UNTIL their parents leave!! They can(even at young ages) handle this situation all on their own. I won't even go into how often the kids are clearly manipulating their parents with a worried look, etc to get icecream, etc after the appointment. It is so much fun to see kids empower themselves and they are so proud of being big enough to have an appointment all to themselves.


    If it is a problem, then can't you just ask mom politely to shut it? Seems extreme to me to exclude parents out of the room completely because the medical staff feels Mom answers for Jr. too quickly.


    In my personal opinion, parents (generally) know best. And sometimes parents are wrong, but hey they are the parents after all and I feel that it should be their call. It's also a pet peeve of mine when people say "they were just fine!". I'll be the judge of that, thanks. My kids are rule followers sometimes to a fault and have excellent manners, thus professionals we come in to contact with are quick to label them as "doing fine" when in reality I (or my husband) can easily see by their demeanor or facial expressions that they are not. They won't be the kids who are screaming, resisting, or uncooperative, it simply isn't in their nature to do so in public. They save all of that for us:glare:


    As an example, we tried public school for the first time this year. Both dd's teachers (kindy and 1st grade) told me how well they were doing, how much they enjoyed having them in class, how cooperative they were. Dd2's gym teacher even called me personally to tell me this. What did I hear at home? "I hate school." "I don't like p.e." "Do I have to go back on Monday?" "I just want to do homeschool again!" Every single hour of every single day for weeks. I observed a couple of times since what they were telling me was so different from what I was hearing from their teachers. Dd1 was stone faced, her perfectionist self was afraid to make any mistake for fear of being (gently, verbally) corrected by the teacher. Dd2 spent copious amounts of her free time in a corner by herself reading books, which is her coping mechanism. It was easy to see why everyone at school assumed they were fine. I would have thought the same had I been in their position. But I am their parent and I know what is normal vs what is not. It is not normal for my 6 year old to throw massive tantrums lasting hours. Daily. Which is what was happening the second we walked in the door coming home from school. But she was doing just fine, the teachers would say. /vent


    So, if a dentist or hygenist came back proudly telling me that my dd's "did fine" I could not take their word for it. I would know they put on an act of being ok, but I would not know that until we got into the van.

  4. And I agree with a PP. Even though I come across as confident now (and it took about 15 years to get to this point), and people seem to like me, I constantly doubt that they do. I have to consciously think to myself, "Well, if they didn't like me, they wouldn't have accepted my invitation to dinner, right?" Because in my heart, I'm convinced no one likes me. 12 years of no one liking you, and saying it loudly to your face, will do that to you.


    Yes, I constantly find myself doing this as an adult. I had never reaized until this post that its likely a result of all the bullying and excluding I had to deal with. If they really didn't like me, my friends wouldn't do this or that. I'm at the stage where I had good friends in my moms group but my kids are older, other kids are off to school and it's time I start devoting my energy into knowing the homeschooling community here as opposed to moms of toddlers. I find myself saying, well if they are really my friends then we will still get together but if we don't, do they not like me/my kids as much as they used to or is life just making everyone too busy?

  5. I'm confused by your signature then, it says your 17 yo dd is in public school:confused:


    My kids were begging to try public school. With a new baby at home and a dh who was not against homeschooling but not terribly supportive either I caved. It was a matter of days before they realized public school was not for them. And as far as I know, there was no bullying. It was just the regular school stuff they hated. 15 minutes to eat lunch, the ridiculous amounts of time wasted, the monotony of it all.


    And what was ironic is that they received very good remarks from their teachers. Dd2's gym teacher even personally called me to tell me what a joy it was to have her in her class. How well she listens, how much effort she gives everything and on and on. Meanwhile my kids were miserable. After a couple weeks we pulled them out and they still talk about how they are never going back to public school.

  6. Yeah, I guess I would tolerate until about 1, but I'm pretty intolerant when you wake me up in the middle of the night.


    Our windows aren't open and I can hear them, but they're not loud, they're just close. After 1 the soft voices get a bit pronounced, probably in line with alcohol consumption. :lol:


    I think this is just par for the course then with your living situation. I wouldn't expect to live so close to somebody where I could hear soft voices from inside my house with windows closed and expect to not get woken up:confused:


    Now if they were playing loud music, banging on drums or something of that sort, then 10 pm is as late as my patience would last. But hanging out on a patio? I don't see an issue. Of course that means you're also welcome to send the kids out at 7 am to play when they're on your last nerve as long as they aren't yelling.

  7. Before we bought our current house we lived in a duplex with a shared yard. On the other side was a young childless couple who entertained a lot. They sat out on their patio until all ours of the night when they entertained. I don't know that they ever brought the party inside. It never bothered me, it's a part of living in close quarters plus we shared a wall so I'm sure they heard my screaming children.


    Sorry but I think it's par for the course when living in houses close together.

  8. *shrug* I don't see the issue. Honestly, 90 isn't THAT hot. It's been over 100 for several days now with no break in sight with high humidity. 90 would feel a bit chilly. If the rest of the family is all sick from the same cold, it's probably better baby be out in the fresh air rather than cooped up in a germ factory, uh I mean house, particularly if they do not have central air. At 2 weeks old, they sleep most of the time anyways.

  9. We have primarily used the montessori method for the past few years however I am wanting something a bit more step by step so I have looked into math u see and really like the concept behind it.


    It is similar to montessori in the way it teaches the decimal system. We already have a pretty extensive Montessori bead collection. Could I skip buying the math u see blocks and just use the beads we have currently?

  10. This just came up in our house as well. I've been called THREE times in the last 9 years since I have turned 18. The first time I got lucky and they didn't need me. The 2nd and 3rd time I had an infant who was solely breastfed. The first time I used that excuse they said fine, I was excused. The most recent time they said that there would be a private room available and the time to pump but I would need proof in order to be excused. I asked my son's pediatrician for a note, cited the state law which says nursing mothers are automatically exempt when provided with proof and they excused me as well.


    Any chance you have a nursing infant?


    I feel for you though, a friend of mine was asked to serve on jury duty the same week they were to leave for vacation and was told it was not an excuse. No idea what happened after that.


    Another thought is to bring in financial statements showing that you are unable to afford to hire a caregiver or for your dh to take off work for an extended period of time. However, I would presume if you have "extras" like cable, smart phones, etc they would argue that you do not need those and if you did not have them would otherwise be able to afford a babysitter.

  11. Can you hire a mothers helper? Perhaps a home schooled preteen or teen? She could come in and play with your younger one while you homeschool, do minor housework and prepare simple meals for lucnch. If you could swing a few hours a day two days a week, that would probably help you out a lot.


    Like you, I doubt a cleaning service would help me out much at all. What really would help me is someone to come in and help with dishes, general picking up, and laundry. I wouldn't mind cleaning the house top to bottom if I didn't have to pick up a single thing.

  12. I don't think you are entitled to a refund, but I would - calmly - call him back and say that you were not aware his services were going to cost $500. And while you'll be sure to ask next time, it might be a good idea for him to let his clients know what it would cost and the prognosis of the animal before treatment.


    The one time I had to take my cat in for serious illness, and then leave him there, I made them aware that while I loved and cared for my cat very much we did not have a lot of excess and to please notify me of expected costs before doing them. As it turns out he had urinary crystals in his bladder causing a UTI. It "only" cost around $250, plus $50 for the new rx cat food he was put on. But they called me every step of the way and explained what they needed to do, how much it would be, and what would happen if they did not do that.


    Come to think of it, there was another time my cat needed to be groomed and they called me to let me know he had fleas, and they would need to give him a dose of frontline. It wasn't even optional that I pay it, but they did at least call so I wasn't in shock when I went to pick him up.

  13. He really is very respectable about it. Typically this behavior also includes, pushing, shoving, accidentally running into people, etc. But his mom is HUGE on manners so he would never dare. But, being one of the oldest and also the biggest he pretty much always is the first. It would probably be the most helpful to have someone who was bigger/faster/older/more advanced than him but that isn't likely to happen (there are only about 11 kids total).


    Having him do another worksheet might work, I'd have to ask his mom how she feels about it.

  14. I hesitate to call it a behavioral problem because it makes it sound like it's something terrible when really I think it's a common thing for his age/development.


    Backstory: We are in a homeschool co-op. This is our 1st year in a co-op, and it's also the first year for this particular co-op. The target age range is 4-6.


    The issue is with a 6 year old boy. He is overly concerned with being first/fastest. Everything from being first to line up, to finishing his craft/art project, to answering questions. We are trying to get him to understand that it really just does.not.matter and there is something to be said about taking your time. When it's time to line up, he rushes to be first. When working on any sort of project, worksheet, craft, what have you, he scribbles it out as fast as possible and announced "Done! I got done first!".


    We have been doing the obvious, pointing out why it doesn't matter, it isn't a race, blah blah blah, but it hasn't made a difference. A few of the other kids have caught on to this, and now they too rush their work to be done first. Any ideas on how to curb this behavior?

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