I told my son to save the text messages and he said he was doing that. Then he said that he replied to a text and told the boy that if he wanted to discuss the situation, he (my son) would be happy to talk on the phone that evening. The boy replied, "not interested. The sooner you're gone the better." - a far cry from "come back; I can change". I'm happy that my son reached out to him, but I'm also happy nothing came of it. Maybe it's just my suspicious nature, but the statement he made isn't one I'd expect to hear from any of my boys at that age. Instead it sounds like he's parroting something his parents may have said. Does it strike anyone else that way? This is a very large state school, so they probably won't be bumping into each other frequently. Ds is probably 1.5 - 2 years older than the other boy. And, I think, the life experiences he has had has made him more mature. My son's feeling is that the boy isn't dangerous, but one never really knows when depression/mental illness is involved. I'm guessing that the uni will take this seriously because of a recent event in which a young lady plowed into their campus parade killing several and wounding many. I will check with my son to see if there have been any more texts since the last one mentioned above. I know, too, that the uni called my son yesterday, but I haven't talked with him to see what it was about.

Quark - after you mentioned your roommate issue and something that my mom said yesterday evening, I began questioning my son about the relationship between the other two. Those boys grew up together and have been close for many years. My son said that any time he entered the room to talk to the other boy (the non-problem one), the problem boy would yell at him to get out. This other boy and my son are both engineering majors and the problem boy is a liberal arts (political science?) major. I think you may have hit on part of the problem. I think he could be jealous of the budding relationship between my son and his long time boyhood friend. I discussed this with my son a bit and he thinks there might be something to this idea. Apparently the boy has been calling and texting my son saying that he "can change", that he knows he's been taking out his frustrations on my son since his grandfather died, etc. He wants my son to come back. But the kicker is that the other roommate told my son that they don't want a new "unknown" third roommate so my son doesn't think the apology is sincere (not to mention the university will probably NOT put someone else in there). Even if it were, my son is certainly not going back into that situation. And it seems like the parents might know that their son is having difficulty because my son said the boy calls his mom every couple of days to complain about how hard school is, etc. My son and his older brother are there now moving his stuff to the new room. He is excited to be away from the "drama". I think it will be a huge relief for my son not to be in such a negative environment...although I see it as a good learning experience as well. We've discussed showing compassion but still standing up for oneself; how our words might not mean to us what others take them to mean; and how we are responsible for those words no matter what. Good lessons all around.

My son has returned home this evening and doesn't have to be back until tomorrow evening for a lab (1.25 hour drive). He said that the RA indicated to him that 4-5 people will "intervene" with the roommate. From my discussion with campus police this will entail a visit with a counselor and possibly more. I really think we, and particularly my son, need to lay low for a bit. I'll let the other roomie and the campus folks handle it from here. From what my son said, I think the RA handled the matter very well. When told what the roomie was saying to my son, he immediately got on the phone and arranged for a new dorm room. My son bought a board game to play with his roomies for the weekend before classes started - so they had something fun to do. When I called to see how things were going, he said they were playing the game a lot and having great fun. But this evening he said that the last time my son won the game, the roommate screamed, "You're ruining my life!". Later he told my son that he "hated" him - to which my son replied "I'm OK with that" (which is exactly how my boys would have dealt with one another) - perhaps that wasn't the wisest response, but ...young men aren't always wise or insightful. The $500 is a pittance to pay for my son's safety and I don't yet know if he will be charged for it. We shall see...I was ready to have him apply to Univ. Tulsa, where his brother attends, which would have costs many thousands more. So...$500 is probably a bargain. Thanks for the advice and for just making me feel a little better.

Oh my! I've been off the boards too long, it seems. I'm so glad the surgery as gone so well and that you are in a wonderful, supportive setting. We will pray for continued success, strength, and NO infection. I'm so happy for you all! A good friend of ours from residency training is a liver transplant surgeon :).

My son, 21, had to make an emergency move today due to his roommate threatening to kill him :crying: :cursing: This young man has been to our home, eaten with us, my son has visited his home, they paint-ball together, they decided to room together at the end of last spring. The fella was doing fine until his grandfather died at which point he seems to have gone into a deep depression. He wouldn't leave his room and became sullen and would not talk to my son or their other roommate. This lasted for most of the semester, but my son said he was doing better before break. Since returning, he has begun to focus on my son. My son cannot walk into the room without the roommate yelling "FU". My son asked what he had done, but the fella won't talk to him. The other roommate said it's because my son is "too laid back and you don't have any passion" :confused1: My son feels sorry for the fella and felt that he was just trying to get him to react when he said he would kill him. But having been around longer than my son, I know that these kids often act on what they say. I feel so bad for my son. He was trying not to cry when he called me. He cannot understand why this fella is angry at him. Of course he didn't want to get his mom involved because he is 21, you know (his words). But apparently he still needed mom to know :closedeyes: .Thankfully the RA acted swiftly and got him a new room. Unfortunately it is a more expensive room...an additional $500. My son lived on campus at a university in England for a year. This school attracted kids from all over the world. He had no relationship issues there :confused1: If the roommate were my son, I'd certainly want to know that he was melting down. But I'm not sure we or my son are the ones to do it. The other roommate has been a friend with this fella since grade school. Would you approach the parents? Would you ask the other roommate to approach the parents? I asked the campus police if they would approach the parents and they said they would not since the boy is over 18. WWYD?

My boys never tired of getting Nerf guns/stuff. At that age, though, they loved getting gift cards to Sonic, QT, WalMart, etc. It was something that they used for a while because they never got $10 worth at once. Calvin and Hobbes is well loved by my guys but I found that they really got into it more when they were older.

Thank you! I can't wait to listen. I'm always looking for podcasts to listen to while cleaning, exercising, doing taxes *gah*, etc. Lewis is one of my favorites.

I think she's in OK (as I am) and I can pretty much be assured that this wouldn't happen. There are too many pit bull fighting rings (illegal) in this area. Anyone with 5 pit bulls would be suspect, and if those animals get loose frequently and are aggressive...well, I cannot imagine ANYONE in this area having a problem with shooting them. OTOH, I'd prefer to level the discipline at the owner who isn't doing his/her job as a dog owner.

Katy, THANK YOU! Everything you wrote is so true. I wish people would figure out that TV isn't real life. My husband is a physician and I'm a pharmacist. We both work in hospitals. Each profession plays a role. Usually they all respect the role the others play. Rarely one will step outside the bounds of that role and there might be a bit of trouble. But generally a doctor wants a good relationship with the nurses so that they take good care of his/her patients thus leading to greater patient satisfaction and less middle of the night calls. My dh just took on the hospital where we work to get the nurses a raise (successfully). The hospital decided to require that all the departments have color coded scrubs which would require the nurses to purchase new scrubs. While not as far as we wish it would have gone, the hospital agreed to purchase one pair of scrubs for each employee. There are a few jerks in all fields, but nasty doctor would probably be an equally nasty banker.

One of my sons reminds me a lot of Augustine. He hasn't gone as far as Augustine (yet?) but he wrestles with wanting to experience things he shouldn't and to be thought of as "cool" all the while retaining his "Christian reputation". Growing up has been hard on him (and me lol). I can truly relate to St. Monica. I just hope and pray he is as Augustine in the end :) Sometimes prayer is all we have...yet it's what is most needed. I would love to sit down and read the whole book at once, but I've been rationing it so I have something to look forward to each day :)

I'm truly enjoying this little gem: http://www.amazon.com/St-Monica-Power-Persistent-Prayer/dp/1612785638/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449718358&sr=8-1&keywords=saint+monica I am not of the Catholic faith (more of a Protestant persuasion, but don't even totally embrace that lol) yet I'm loving the devotional aspects of this book. Every devotional has been appropriate to some issue I have been dealing with. The subject of prayer has been my study this past year which is why I was interested in St. Monica. It's such an encouraging book.

Just wondering: Do you have a Homeowners Association? If so, you might have some recourse against the neighbor. Is there a limit on the number of dogs per household? The advice given to me has been to "shoot it and bury it deep". I, though, live in the country where there is no animal control officer. The sheriff is the one giving this advice :crying: . I have never been able to do it.

Update: I purchased this and enjoyed it. Easy to read and hit the pertinent points. Thank you.

Thank you all so much! Some of these we have, but others suggested are fantastic. I've been listening to selections on You-Tube all day :)

What are your favorite albums?

My #3 son was similar. He could do word problems with ease, but a page of calculations would send him over the edge. We did discover that he has/had processing speed issues (as well as some other issues). When the calculations had no context, he had difficulty reading them. If the problem was listed horizontally, it wasn't as much of a problem because he could read it, but vertically written problems were impossible. Timed tests were agonizing to him. After discussion with the psychologist, we decided that there were few times in life where one must complete timed calculations (a calculator is a wonderful tool :) ) and if he is capable to doing complex word problems he obviously knows his maths...so we gave up the calculations. This son is not having difficulty with calculus 3 and differential equations this semester in college :) A student can be successful in math even if he has trouble with pages of timed calculations.

I'm really not comfortable giving it to the young lady from my husband's office. She didn't finish her 90 day trial period. The health reason is that she had too much anxiety to work in a physician's office. Since she quit so long before Christmas, it would be very awkward to seek her out again; and I know my husband will not be giving her a Christmas bonus so it would be rather weird for me to give her the bag. I know the pharmacist would like the bag in question, but I think she will feel awkward thinking I had spent more for it than I actually spent. And even the amount I did spend is probably more than anything she would do. But I'm a lot older and in a better place financially - she is the wage earner and her husband stays home with the baby. Honestly, I want to do more for her because she is putting up with a lot from the management. Management was unable to find a good candidate for the full time position opposite her so they have filled it using 3 prn (temporary) pharmacists. There is a part time male pharmacist who works two shifts a week. So she is the only permanent full-time with 4 part timers. I think that is hard on her. I would like to do something extra nice for her to show my appreciation of her good humor through it all. I could just give it to my daughter in law as an extra Christmas gift lol. She would love it, too.

I'm a pharmacist working part time at our local hospital. There is one full time pharmacist (female) - a young lady, recent grad, and a new mom. I purchased some Kate Spade bags on their special 75% off sale a while back. I planned on giving one particular handbag ($59) to a new female employee at my husband's office. It would have been part of her Christmas bonus. However, this young lady quit on Monday due to health issues. When I worked a few days ago, I discovered that the full time pharmacist had broken her purse over the weekend. Now I don't understand how a young lady doesn't have a selection to choose from at home, but this gal isn't too girly and, for whatever reason, she doesn't have another. The extra Kate Spade purse I have is similar in size and style to the one she used. I would like to give the KS bag to her for Christmas, but it will be much more than is usually given in the pharmacy. I had thought about telling her it was meant for the ex-employee, but that sounds bad. Is there some way I can give her the bag without appearing to be over spending and so that it doesn't appear that she is getting a gift meant for someone else?

I hope it works out - that sounds fantastic!

No - none of mine

It was one of the highlights of the trip. The guides were friendly and concerned with safety. We went over deep ravines and through beautiful jungle. It was awesome! Last spring I did a zipline in Nicaragua which was nothing in comparison. Not for the person who is afraid of heights. My son just got home and I asked him about it. He said it was probably the most fun he has ever had although at the time he was a bit scared. He was about 9 at the time (19 now).

The last few years we have moved from pumpkin pie to pumpkin log roll - basically a pumpkin cake with cream cheese filling.

Mine are older now and don't wear shirts. But when they were younger they just wore white undershirts.

We went to Costa Rica about 10 years ago with the boys and my parents. We rented a minivan - roads are not very well maintained, but driving was not difficult. We rented a house via VRBO in Samara. The beach there was nice and safe. We purchased a trip with some local guides to the islands just off the coast. A couple of the boys went fishing with dad and the local guide and had a great time. The other 2, who don't like to fish, went with me kayaking with another guide. We landed on the island and had a "local" lunch and snorkled. That was a great experience as well. From there we went to the volcano, Arenal, and enjoyed the jungle experience - zipline, rafting, horseback riding, mud pots, sauna, etc. We flew into and out of Liberia - very easy even though we speak very little Spanish. We drove the wheels off that minivan lol.

Pretty much the truth lol! And another good things about young men is that you don't have to have your house spotless either. They really don't notice the cobwebs in the corners or the dust on the window sills :) Most fellas have rather basic tastes - do the turkey, gravy, potatoes, rolls...add a veggie (they probably don't care) and a pie and that chocolate tart (go get a tart pan - WalMart or even your grocery store should have one). This is a favorite veggie with my boys and it's super simple: http://toriavey.com/toris-kitchen/2013/03/roasted-butternut-squash-garlic-sage-pine-nuts/ I have one son who is a foodie. He's my best help in the kitchen and if we have anything unusual it's because he wants/makes it.