I don't think I minimize her struggles, but my husband definitely does. He's very much a "Put your mind to it and you can figure it out. You'll do it if you want it badly enough." I remind him often that not everyone works that way and sometimes people need more scaffolding than he thinks necessary. She has multiple diagnoses, including ADHD, and started a med earlier this week. It will take quite awhile to see if it's effective for her. She did try a couple of the stimulant-type ADHD meds late last summer as part of her treatment program, and they certainly made an immediate difference, but the side effects coupled with her addictive personality made them a non-option for her. I really hope that this non-stimulant one gets the result she is hoping for. She could have started it months ago, but it required her getting a baseline exam with another dr and she just got around to doing that last week. She wants her privacy and to take care of these things herself, so I respect that but I also feel that I could have been more proactive with her. I did offer to make phone calls on her behalf, but she refused. I just take a deep breath and remind her that I'm here to help with whatever she needs; she smiles and says, "I know. I want to do it on my own." I do appreciate that but I don't ever want her to feel like she is alone.

My husband is in the No Way phase still, but he supports her doing what she thinks she needs to do. My daughter tried to hide the 'something off' for way too long and it was having serious negative impacts on her life until she could't fake it anymore. At that point she spoke to her therapist (who she hadn't been honest with for months) and she entered a treatment program. It was tough, but good for her. I will always worry that she is faking it though because we were completely oblivious to her struggles for so long.

There is certainly a component of 'you don't look like you're struggling', but I've gotten over that after a lot of reading and many conversations with her. I support her 100% as she figures out how to move forward and be successful and independent. And, the guilt will always be there. I know I did the best that I could at the time, and she doesn't blame me for anything, but it still hurts to see your kids struggle.

Yep, that's pretty much what my daughter says she felt like, and that she couldn't tell me about it. I can still see the anguish on her face when she would open up a little bit to me. If only I knew that she was telling me about 0.00001 % of what she was feeling/going through.....

It definitely is! I am very thankful for that self-awareness. There were a lot of hard conversations when that came out.

That is my husband's line, but he keeps it to himself for the most part.

She doesn't want to take a stimulant because of her addictive personality.

Yes, I agree. She is certainly coping better than she was. At least I think she is; I thought she was doing great last year but not so much 😞 She's living at home now so I hope that it is harder to hide the struggles.

I don't say them. I do tell her that I think medication can be part of a solution, but that I also think lifestyle changes are important too, including exercise, food choices, sleep. Dh and I are 100% supportive of her and providing her with what she needs. She really wants to figure this out.

She sees a psychologist and is starting a medication this week. She tried a couple others in the summer/early fall that were not a good fit for her.

I totally agree and she and I have talked about how what I think isn't important and I'm proud of her for exploring all these avenues to try to find something that works for her. She's also talked to drs about her vision and bought special glasses to help with Binocular Vision. But sometimes I kind of feel like she searching for the magic pill, but I guess if I was having all the feelings she was then I would want it all fixed too. I cannot imagine how she must feel.

She's the only one of my kids who thinks she has ADHD. Her older brother was just a handful in a myriad of other ways - it was like he never left the 'terrible 2s' stage for a loooong time. Undiagnosed ADHD - I don't think so, but I guess it's possible.

My dd has had her share of mental health challenges, has done an out-patient treatment program and is doing better now. One of the things she discussed with her doctors is a possible ADHD diagnosis and she is telling me about the symptoms/traits/difficulties she has had or is having and honestly, I'm just not convinced. She and I have spoken at length about it and she asks why I don't believe her. It's not that I don't think she has certain difficulties, but I think they can be attributed to other things. Some of the memes she sends me are definitely true of her, but also of a bazillion other people, including me. For example - the walk by a piece of clothing on the floor (or dirty glass on the nightstand) for days on end and not picking it up. I do that too, but is the fact that I don't care that it's on the floor different than an ADHD person looking at that piece of clothing and thinking they're a hot mess/failure because they have let it sit there for so long? What's the difference? Is it because I'm used to the 'typical ADHD boy' behavior and it manifests itself differently in girls? Do I think "If it is important, you'll figure it out and do it." Or "You could do it if you really wanted to." I guess all of those are partly true, but I also really strongly feel that this all started when she got her first phone/ipad and she is 100% addicted to her phone now. But is that just coincidence? She got those devices as a 13/14 year old. I guess one doesn't preclude the other from developing, does it? One of the things we have talked about is how easy she was to parent - no drama, no behaviour issues, just an easy going little girl who was never shy until late elementary school. Her older brother (and her younger brother to a lesser extent) was a real handful and took a lot out of me. Dd definitely recognized that and kept everything inside because she was (and still is) uber-aware of other people's feelings and could see that I was overwhelmed . Well, at least until she couldn't any longer and now she is dealing with these mental health issues. (insert mom guilt emoji here) I feel truly conflicted about this and really don't want to downplay it, nor do I want to blame her for 'not trying'. I wouldn't blame a person with a broken leg for not being able to walk, so I do not want to blame her troubles on something I cannot see. I am not downplaying it - I am very supportive of her as she tries to figure all this out, but I am definitely conflicted! I appreciate any links you have to helping me understand ADHD in young women, or your own experiences.

Wegman's Scan & Go was amazing!!!! Our local Giant has a similar program (using a hand-held scanner instead of an app) but it isn't without it's issues - if an item won't scan I am usually flagged for an 'intervention' at the checkout, even if it eventually scans. The employee who is monitoring the self-checkout area is very quick and apologetic when she checks my items.

My son did 2 trips to France in high school and it was maybe 13-14 months out with an end of the school year notice for the following summer. Then an initial interest meeting in September that was followed by another meeting and an initial deposit by mid November, I think. 20 months is like a long time, especially to make a non-refundable deposit.

Congrats Ottakee! That is such an empowering experience. My mum hates when I go out on my own, but I absolutely love it! For anyone looking for inspiration, check out 'shedreamsofalpine' on Instagram and Allison Boyle on FB. She offers some free content, but also some paid workshops too.

Have you looked at Eat To Perform? They address the issue of chronic under-eating that most diets are based on. They explain what it does to your metabolism and the importance of giving enough time for your body to heal your metabolism. They are supporters of getting enough sleep, not referring to anything as a cheat food/meal, exercise is not a punishment or something to do to 'earn' food. Yes, there are super-fit people who use them and are on FB with their incredible ripped bodies, but there are just as many men and women on there do not look like that and are just regular folks looking to lose weight. The guy who started the program has a podcast as well. I find them difficult to listen to because he rambles, but his ideas are solid. I usually read his FB posts rather than listen to the podcasts.

Oh, most definitely! But not all cat's love it. One of my dd's cats is like that about cat grass (whatever that is), but isn't much interested in catnip.

One of our cats needed to have nearly all her teeth removed around age 1 due to gum disease. She has maybe 3-4 teeth and is 10+ years old now. She gets about a Tbsp of wet food 1x/day and dry the rest of the time. Cats don't really chew their food; they might break it down a bit, but they do not grind their food. Your cat will be perfectly fine with dry food for a few days if you go away. Make sure it's high quality and not full of fillers. And always have water available!

Domeboro medicated soaks. Amazing relief!

I definitely think you will be able to prevent injuries by getting stronger. If you're stronger, your body can handle heavier stressors during your runs. This! A good coach will listen to you and want to know why you are there and what your goals are. They will adjust the workout for you, and should be able to tell you how to optimize your training. If not, try another gym. I actually think for runners you do weights after you run because running is the focus. I could be wrong though; I'm not a runner. For the few times I do go on a trail run, it is after my CF workout because I'm warmed up and feeling energetic, but most times I just go home and wait for that feeling to pass 🙂

Sounds like a very toxic environment. I am sorry you had that experience. It definitely depends on the gym. In my opinion, anyone (or any gym) that pushes paleo, primal, or any other fad diet is unrealistic regarding their clients' eating habits. Fad diets are not sustainable for the majority of the population and usually lead to rebound weight gain + more.

I think it comes down to 'some' gyms - some gyms don't have well trained coaches, some gyms push competitions, some gyms focus on speed over technique, some gyms push their clients into rhabdo, some gyms focus on paleo/primal eating.... The gym your friends belong to and enjoy doesn't seem to fit any of these stereotypes. To me, it sounds like their gym is well-run with competent and compassionate coaches. Trying it out for yourself is the only way to know for sure! Working out with friends is fun, and that's one of the things that keeps me going back 5-6 days/week.

I guess it comes down to trusting your friends who have actually been in the actual gym that you are considering joining. One-on-one for 8 sessions is a giant green light! You will learn so much in private sessions. I use modifications in so many exercises - everyone at my gym does. None of us are training for the CF Games. We have AC but it's rarely on (we use the wall mounted fans instead) and it does get pretty steamy in there on occasion, but you get used to it.

Weight lifting belts can actually contribute to back problems when lifting. You need a strong core to lift heavy, but core work isn't glamorous, so it is often ignored.