For me, it really depends on where we are and the bathrooms. DD (9) can go in the ladies' room by herself, but when she was little, and DH took her out, he'd cover her eyes if there was anyone in there. DS1 (age 6) still comes with me into the ladies' room; if he really felt strongly about using the men's room, I'd consider it, depending on the location, but he would rather not be by himself anyway.

I never lie my babies down in slings; I keep vertical -- tummy to tummy with me when they're tiny, and then gradually moving more toward the side, until eventually, they're sitting on my hip. I'm right-handed, but I am weird and prefer the sling to be on my left shoulder, meaning the baby ends up more on my right hip, and I have my right hand most free to put around the baby or to do stuff around the house. I realize that many right-handed people prefer to have the sling on their right shoulder. So if you're right-handed but can't have any pressure on that arm, it's still very possible that you can use your left shoulder for the sling and keep your right arm free. Jan's Sleeping Baby slings are really nice and very affordable. I have one of them and have been very pleased with it. Making your own sling is also very easy and inexpensive. I would recommend the rings from slingrings.com. If you buy them in a local store, you want completely solid rings, nothing that can open at all. When I made my first sling (9 years ago and still in use!), I got solid rings at TSC, and they're crazy strong (but the slingrings.com ones are thinner, although still strong). Jan uses a pleated shoulder, which is really nice and comfortable, but I also like a basic gathered shoulder, and the hot dog style shoulders are nice too. Feel free to bump your thread at TBW, looking for people near you. The board moves fast, and a lot of people don't get to check in every day. You might also ask questions in the "choosing and using" subforum for ring slings. I really like a ring sling for a newborn and then for short times with an older baby/toddler, as well as for nursing in public. Around the house for long-term use, though, I do tend to prefer wraps, as they distribute the weight better for me. You can make your own wrap for not a lot of money (really, an old sheet will work!), and while it does take some practice to learn to tie them, they are really comfortable. If you ask for help on the wrap board at TBW, they might even be able to help you find a wrap carry that uses your left shoulder, back, and hips, but not your right shoulder/arm. My concern about ring slings is that as the baby gets older, I do find that they put too much pressure/weight on my one shoulder, and the wrap helps spread that to my hips more. Another option might be a soft structured carrier, such as the Ergo. Most of the weight is on your hips, so you might be able to keep pressure off of your right arm. Ergos can work for infants and can be back or front; they're a bit easier to learn to use than a wrap, and I find that they work really well for toddlers.

If you can hold the baby in your arms, chances are high that there is a carrier of some type that would work for your back. Is there a local babywearing group near you? You might ask for some help at thebabywearer.com, but a wrap or mei tai would probably be a good option for you. I'm a baby-holder too. They're just too sweet to put down! When I give them to DH to hold so I can shower or something, I miss them. Our house doesn't have the usual baby gear all over the place; last time, I just had the carseat for when I needed to shower, but even still, half the time, my then 6yo would hold/wear the baby (I helped her get him tucked in the mei tai properly first). This time, the big kids are telling me that I'll only get to hold the baby when I'm feeding him/her, LOL. ;) I do use my slings, wraps, and mei tai a ton though, because after the first several weeks, I do need my hands at least slightly more free for the housework. (As for nursing in a carrier, I *can* but generally prefer not to at home; most of the time, the baby will need to be taken potty/changed anyway, so I just pop him/her out of the carrier, feed/change/potty, and back in the carrier. Doesn't take long.)

Congratulations! Sending sticky thoughts for you!

I'd get the MyRide for her. That way you can try her rear-facing, and if she hates it, you've still got an excellent forward-facing seat that can probably take her until age 5 or more, with the harness. Since she's not a newborn, I believe you can put it rear-facing at a slightly higher angle than the 45* that is needed for newborns; maybe she'll like that better.

I would be very cautious about this. Seats are only crash-tested with the items that actually come in the box with them. Adding anything else to the seat can cause the seat not to function as tested, in case of a crash.

We loved our Graco SnugRide for our first two babies, but they outgrew it in length long before weight (5 and 6 months), and I didn't personally care for how they fit into a convertible seat. So when it expired, and we needed a new seat for DS2, we bought a Graco SafeSeat infant seat (now the SnugRide 35, I think). He was over 9 pounds at birth, but he was able to use that seat until he was 18 months old, since it holds babies of longer lengths. I almost never used it as a carrier, especially not when he was a tiny infant, but since we were switching cars frequently, it was so nice to have the poppable seat and a base for each car (and to be able to bring it inside out of the heat and cold). I am looking forward to using it in a few weeks with baby #4. If you don't need a poppable seat, we also have a Graco MyRide, and while it's big, I really like it as well. I think it's rated for tiny babies, though you'd have to see if the lowest harness strap height is too high for a newborn or not. It does have an infant insert, though I haven't used it, since we got it when DS2 outgrew the SafeSeat. (However, he's 30+ pounds, almost 32 months old, and is still comfortably rear-facing in it. My 6yo DS1 was able to use it, forward-facing, until almost age 6, so you could get a lot of mileage out of it.) Both of those seats are big and take up a lot of length in the car, so if you have tall adults, you might have trouble with the arrangements. I couldn't put either of those behind the driver's seat, nor in the middle spot, in our little Ford Focus, or DH couldn't drive. However, neither are a problem in the middle row of our van; DH has plenty of room.

I hate texting. DH and I only use it on rare occasions, like when I think he might be in a meeting but want to leave him a message; texting is less intrusive than the phone ringing. And I usually send the texts from the computer, because it's faster than typing on the phone. As a general means of communication, though, I am not a fan of texting. I'm not really a big phone conversationalist, either, though. E-mail is generally my preferred method of communication.

For ease of homeschooling, I'd go with VA over MD or DC. Actually, that goes for pretty much anything else too. I have friends who live in VA, and they say that the religious exemption makes it really easy to homeschool there.

We've had both and currently have a well and septic system. Except for when the septic pump died suddenly, we've had no problems. (It shorted during super heavy spring rains, way more than normal.) Even then, it wasn't a big deal. Our "full septic tank" alarm sounded, so we knew to be cautious with water usage. Someone was out there to pump it very quickly, and we had a day or two where we had to continue to be careful (like, no laundry, only high priority showers, but we were able to cook, wash our hands, and flush the toilet), before they were able to put in a new pump, but all in all, only a couple of days of inconvenience, and not that big of a deal. We are not in an area prone to losing electricity, but we do have a generator (we also need electricity to run the furnace in the winter), just in case. I think maybe we've lost power once in over four years, and only briefly. We do run a garbage disposal judiciously (mostly we compost table scraps), and we've had no problems from that either. Ymmv. I do like our water's taste, and I definitely like that we have control over what is in it -- no fluoride, no random medications or whatever else is in city water. We did have it tested before we bought the house though. And while I don't encourage water wasting, it is nice that we are not paying for water by the drop.

My first was questionably breech at 32 weeks, after having been head-down earlier, and she was definitively breech at 34 weeks. The midwives weren't worried at 32w but were at 34w and had me do the ironing board thing to get her to turn. She did turn by 35w and stayed head-down (although posterior, which is not uncommon for breech babies, apparently -- but it did make for a gentler labor and pushing, albeit longer, than my subsequent babies, so it wasn't tood bad). I'm 34.5 weeks with #4, and I'm pretty sure this little one is head-down and has been for a while, so I am not thinking he/she'll go breech now, even though I likely have six weeks still. But at 32w, I don't think it's a big deal. Hope your daughter's last few weeks of pregnancy go smoothly!

Don't feel embarrassed! I know sooooo many people for whom history in school was boring -- if they even had real history classes. I think I was fairly lucky; I was always kind of interested in the way people lived in the past, but I didn't really LOVE history until I took European history in tenth grade from a fantastic teacher. That made all the difference. But even with good history classes, there are still things I don't know, and homeschooling is so great for that! (And fwiw, I feel that way about science -- homeschooling is my chance for science to be interesting and memorable in a way that it never was for me in school.) I'm not surprised that students today don't know much about US history. That Jay Leno clip that went around a few months ago where he quizzed adults who couldn't even get the century right for the American Revolution was appalling. My then 5 and 8yo's laughed so hard at those people, because the 8yo knew all the answers, and the 5yo knew most of them.

Just ew. And FaithManor, double ew to that recital. Yuck. Little girls are usually into the fluffy tutus and all -- why encourage anything else?

I'd probably go ahead and replace the transmission, if other things look to be doing well. We've driven Fords from that time period into much higher miles. My 2000 Expedition, before it was totaled in an accident, was at about 135K miles and only barely starting to show signs of needing a bit of work (and IIRC, not the bigger stuff like the transmission and engine). Might also depend on how much you drive it.

Our family is on the larger side, but it's the size of the house that seems to make the most difference. We have electric baseboard heat in several rooms and window AC units, and those are the biggest factors in our electricity bills. Usually February is our highest month, because it's the absolute coldest, with January up there as well; July and August usually hit pretty high too, but they don't top the heaters. I see a significant drop most springs and falls, though, when we're using limited or no heat or AC. I'd see if your electric company has an equal payment plan. We pay the same amount all year round, regardless of usage, which generally lets us balance out the higher months. Normally, I finish paying for Jan. and Feb. around March or April and then am paying ahead (more than my actual usage) for the spring months, so that when the summer highs hit, I've already paid for them. Also, you might see if your rate per kw is fixed or not; in some areas, the rates can go up in the summer. Ours is fixed, but that is because our state just had a bunch of changes, and now competition is allowed. If the central AC is a little inefficient, you might consider going to window AC units for all or part of the house. I actually like those, because it means that we only cool the parts we really need to cool, when we need to cool them. In our previous house, in order for the central air to cool the bedrooms to a reasonable level for sleeping at night, we had to have it freezing in the family room downstairs. Here, only the bedrooms (which are upstairs) are cooled at night.

My very bright, very active, very social, most likely ADHD, child has a very hard time falling asleep. Once she does fall asleep, she is a very deep sleeper, but even as a baby, she'd have a hard time falling asleep. Didn't matter that it was just plain old boring me around all day -- she'd fight naps like crazy, figuring she'd miss the party. She does better if she can read quietly for a bit before bed (DH is the same way), and we rarely do movies or computer before bedtime for the kids, but it is still hard for her to shut everything off, mentally, so she can fall asleep. My 2yo is still baby enough that if he's not napped, he falls asleep more easily; we'll see what happens as he grows older. My 6yo, who is bright but not the "brain always goinggoinggoing a million miles an hour" like his sister, and who is quieter and shyer in general, usually falls asleep pretty easily; then again, he's a child who still needed a nap at least a few days a week past his fifth birthday, whereas my other two have done fine without naps after about age two.

Actually, I would like to disagree with this respectfully. An adult who chooses to circ, or even the rare occasion that a circ is required for an older child (and truly, there are only a very few very rare occasions where there is NO other alternative), has several advantages over a newborn. One, an adult or older child can communicate pain, whereas a newborn cannot as effectively; newborns scream and often end up falling asleep, which is actually a defensive mechanism of shock and not a symptom of being calm and not bothered. Two, an adult or older child has more options for anesthesia and pain relief than a newborn does; I realize there are some doctors who do newborn circs with sufficient anesthesia, but many do not at all. Three, an adult may have to wait a while for s*x after a circ, but the adult does not have a diaper full of urine and feces against a healing wound 24/7 either. Four, an adult or older child, if he does not feel like eating for a few days because of pain, is unlikely to suffer serious harm; newborn circ can often interrupt an infant's feeding, which is bad in itself, but it has also been detrimental to more than one breastfeeding relationship (which I realize is not the end all, be all of everything, but from a public health perspective, if nothing else, we should want to encourage breastfeeding whenever possible and eliminate what obstacles we can). Five, at least some of the pain can be removed from an adult or older boy, because the natural separation that occurs between the foreskin and the rest of the penis has already happened; in a newborn, they are fused like a fingernail is to the finger and must be forcibly torn apart, which adds another layer of pain. And six, it is much easier to gauge the "right" amount to remove from an adult or older child, because the penis has grown a bit. There are many men who were circ'ed as infants who ended up with problems with s*x and such later because the "right" amount was not gauged properly, and too much was removed. (Also, for anyone reading this who may be undecided about future sons, I can honestly say that caring for a little boy who has not been circ'ed is incredibly simple. No retracting to clean is necessary *at all* (and is, in fact, a very bad idea) -- the boy himself can do that when he is a little older, but until that happens, you wipe the p*nis like you would a finger, and that's it. When it's still closed up tight, it can't get anything in it; it's easier to clean than a baby girl, actually.) I am glad that there are people here who have said their sons experienced no problems related to circ'ing. Hopefully that means your doctors were compassionate and used good anesthesia and everything. Unfortunately, there are many whose sons did experience problems, and many people who regret choosing to circ their infant sons. I really feel that parents need information from all sides in order to make the most informed decisions they can (and that goes for other things other than circ'ing, as well). Too many people have been told "do it as a newborn; it's better then than as an adult," and I want people to know about possible advantages to waiting. So that is why I bothered to type all of that out. :)

My DS1 likes Legos a lot. This year, he also got a soccer goal and ball, and he seems to enjoy that. Does your son have a good bike?

Our co-op is part of our support group. Some people just come for the park days and field trips and mom support; others just do the co-op; others do it all. We have liked both the co-op and the other activities. We mostly do the co-op for social reasons, so the kids can hang out with their friends in a slightly more structured group than just park days, but the bonus academics are nice sometimes too. Sometimes other parents do things I wouldn't have thought of, or that I just don't get to, or that aren't my strong suit. I don't feel that I *need* the co-op for academics, but it's a nice bonus. This year, our co-op did a picture study time for all the kids (except the infants and toddlers); I have done picture study with my children, but it was nice that someone else did it, therefore taking it off of my plate in an otherwise challenging year. Then there were classes for each age group, four sessions in the fall and four in the spring, with a different topic each of the two semesters. I see the co-op as a pooling of resources -- maybe they can do more involved art projects or more complex science projects that would otherwise be hard to do at home with toddlers, or that would be too expensive, or whatever. DD's class this spring learned about the orchestra; they had people come in and play different instruments some too. I know nothing about music, so this was handy for me, one less thing to do. And my DS1, the non-squeaky wheel in our house, sandwiched between an active older sister, an active toddler, and an in-utero baby who zapped a lot of Mom's energy this year, got to hang out with a bunch of little boys his age, with a teacher who created little projects just for them; he got the joy of bringing me his projects so I could ooh and aah over them, and he (who is rather shy) got a chance to be away from me (but just across the hall; I was in the nursery), spreading his wings a little in a safe-for-him environment. As for the older students, they are trying to pool resources to get a parent or other teacher to teach the heavy-duty science classes that intimidate a lot of parents next year. IDK if we'll take advantage of those when our kids are older or not, but I think the pooling of strengths and resources is a great option for a lot of occasions.

Darn, you're a little too far east of us, or I'd recommend our studio. DD just completed her fourth year there. We had her at one other local studio for a few months and were really disappointed in them; she hated classes there. I figure it's one thing for a kid to want to skip class occasionally, but every week, she wasn't happy at that other studio. When they had the parent observation class, I was annoyed at how the teacher treated the children; she was really barking orders at them. Blech. Our current studio is wonderful. There's very much a family atmosphere. Emphasis is on excellence, but not perfection. We've had three teachers there, and while I think DD has clicked better with a couple of them, they've all been kind and encouraging, getting the best out of the children without yelling or being harsh. If you can observe a class, great, or perhaps see if they have a recording of the recital. Our studio does like to let you know about all the fees and recital rehearsals at the beginning of the year, which I appreciate. If you can, talk to other parents about what to expect from recital week in terms of time and costs. Also, our studio does a bunch of little selling fundraisers throughout the year; these are completely optional, and while they can be used toward your recital/costume costs, it's also perfectly acceptable not to do them and just to pay the costs yourself (and they ask for portions of the recital/costume costs throughout the year, so it's spread out a bit, which is nice). We live in a very rural area, DH works in a small office, we don't want our few neighbors/coworkers bugging us for their kids' fundraisers, and the grandparents would rather just donate a bit of money than to buy overpriced stuff, so we've not done a single fundraiser, and nobody's ever pressured us at all. (Otoh, I know people who have never had to pay for a costume at all because they do a lot of fundraisers, so I appreciate that there is the option for everyone.) Our studio has both excellent ballet classes and jazz/modern/tap/acting classes. Many of our older students have been there ten years and take multiple classes, but there is no pressure to do more than one. There's another ballet studio around here where 7 and 8 yo's are expected to be in ballet classes 5-6 days a *week!* That's definitely not what I want, right now, if ever. I have appreciated that the ballet music and costumes have all been family-friendly and reasonable. Some of the older kids' hip-hop/jazz/tap/modern classes have worn recital outfits that I think are a little skimpy, but they're not horrible; there have been a handful of songs that I've felt were a bit too sex-oriented, but they weren't for the ballet or younger classes, so it's been not a big deal to me. One thing I really like about our studio is that the older students come in all shapes and sizes. There are dancers up on stage who are of the curvier sort, and while they encourage good nutrition (they gave reusable water bottles to each dancer this year, to encourage drinking water, and they put in a snack/drink machine that has better choices -- like sodas not laden with high fructose corn syrup -- I figure it's a step up from Cokes), I've not seen a push for extreme skinniness. If I ever do, it'll be the last time my child sets foot in there, but it just doesn't seem to be an issue. That would really matter to me a lot.

Pro-life here, very anti-abortion, anti routine infant circ. I support a person's right to choose what to do, until and unless it takes another human life; I believe life begins at conception, so I believe that abortion is taking a human life.

Honestly, if it took me (or DH) physically taking a kid to the shower, for instance, yup, that would happen. I look at it this way: a toddler isn't mature enough to know that he needs to take a bath, so sometimes I have to help. If my older child, even at 8 or 10, is displaying that same toddler-like immaturity, then yes, I will help. I have told my children, "I need you to get dressed, because we need to go out and do X. I am going to get myself and your little brother ready. Your choice is to get yourself ready by the time I'm done with that, or I will dress you myself/take you in your pajamas [depending on my mood and what we're doing]." They don't want that, so they do it themselves. It does help that I am still physically bigger than all of them, so it would be possible to dress them or drag them in their pajamas, so that might not help you. For refusing to do reasonable household chores, or using an overly sullen attitude, more chores get assigned. Not doing your chores -- you must need more practice in doing them. Those chores will need to be done before you have *any* privileges. I would invoke DH if need be. With my boys, especially, having Daddy get right in front of them, looking into their eyes, and stating what needs to happen really does seem to work. I see that only becoming more important as they get older. Not that Mom doesn't carry some weight, but more that if Daddy (who isn't here as much as Mom) gets involved, it's Important. If a child refuses to do schoolwork, first find out if something else is going on, but if it's boiling down to stubborness or rebellion, well, that child can spend the evening doing schoolwork instead of hanging out and having fun. This is where you really may need your DH; either he can supervise schoolwork in the evening (and I mean really sitting there with them, so that they decide that being micromanaged isn't much fun, and it'd be easier just to get it done in the daytime when Mom first says so), or help with the younger kids. It goes without saying that around here, if you don't do your expected chores and schoolwork, you won't be going out for hikes with Daddy, and Mom isn't going to be inclined to take you to dance class or whatever either. I live by the "you want to share in the family's privileges, then you share in the family's combined efforts" rule. Also (and I struggle with this), I have heard the phrase, "don't expect what you cannot inspect." If you give directions to do something, you need to be able to enforce that immediately, or have a consequence ready. I know it is so easy to say, "go do X" as you're passing through to change a diaper, in the hopes that they will do it, but if they know you won't enforce it, they won't do it. So you need to either be prepared to stop immediately and take their hand to make them do it, or put the work in front of them, or whatever, or you need to be ready to come back with a consequence if they haven't done it when you're done changing that diaper. Not cleaning up toys = Mom setting the timer for however long it should take, and then Mom will clean up the toys if you don't do it. Mom's method means that the toys will get thrown away or put away for a very long time. I once took away all the Legos for a month, because I was tired of them being scattered all over and hearing grief about cleaning them up. (I do try to make it easy for them to clean them up, like suggesting a blanket to put under them, or even just allowing a pile of them in one corner, but that's harder with a young toddler.) They were much better about cleaning them up when they got them back. Basically, do what needs to be done, cheerfully and willingly, and you have the chance to do it the way you prefer. Give us grief about it, and it'll still get done, only it will be under Mom and Dad's terms, which might not be your own.

I understand "good condition but dated." Btdt. Lived with it for several years before finally being able to update it. In your case, if you already have horses, I'd go with building at least the minimum of what they need, first. Then I'd do the flooring, with whatever would be best for a wheelchair. If your mom will be there frequently, I'd probably go for very high quality with the flooring, even at a higher price, to make sure it lasts. (I do like our laminate flooring fine, and it looks good after five years, but if wheelchairs beat it up, maybe keep looking.) Then I'd paint. Paint is very inexpensive and can make a big difference, and it is definitely easier to do before moving anything in. How badly does your DH want/need the electrical stuff, etc.? ISTR that if you can do the electrical yourself, it's not hugely expensive. I agree with the other posters who recommended doing it slowly, over several years. Horses, flooring, and paint -- I'd do those now, and then the rest as I got to know the house and what I really wanted out of it, and as money was available without depleting savings. So happy that things seem to be working out for you!!

Our Ford Focus (2004) meets those requirements, and it gets around 30 mpg on the highway and has a lot of trunk space. If you're not super tall, the kids should have decent foot room in the back too. We've had a backless booster, a large infant seat, and a large harnessed seat back there -- tight but doable -- so two backless boosters and a Radian should be fine. It has three shoulder belts in the back, but only LATCH connectors on the two outboard spots, so the harnessed seat in the middle is in with the seatbelt (and tether), rather than LATCH. There is no safety advantage for LATCH, if you can get a tight install with the belt. The only catch for a small car like that is that you need to see if the spots for the boostered kids have head rests for taller kids in case of an accident. We bought the Focus mostly for the gas mileage for commuting, so if it's too cramped for your kids, you might look into something in the next size up, like the Fusion (? can't remember what Ford's slightly larger sedan is), especially if you're just looking for something a little better in gas mileage than a Durango. In our area, $10,000 would get you a very nice used minivan, so that might be an option too. We just bought a nice used minivan (dual sliding doors and power locks, for instance, which make my life so much easier, but not *all* the bells and whistles like automatic sliding doors) for significantly less than that. It's a 2001, but it does have 2 spots in the middle row for LATCH and can have 1 or 2 spots for LATCH in the back row, depending on what seat is being used with LATCH and where. It's getting about 19-20 mpg on the highway, fwiw, and while I need the space for lots of little bottoms, it's also nice to have it for growing legs and all the stuff we end up bringing for a long day.

I saw that too. But then NH is the most free, and its homeschool laws are also really bad. And Virginia, for instance, ranks much freer than PA, but PA's gun control laws and raw milk laws, just for example, are better than VA's, even if VA's homeschool laws are better. So I really suppose it depends on what freedom means to the individual person on a daily basis. I generally find PA to be pretty free on a daily-living basis, but then again, my only real comparisions are Maryland and Massachusetts, both of which rank as decidedly less free, so maybe I'd be completely shocked if I moved to Texas, LOL. :)