I did get the back to work comment too. It's funny (not in a good way) the things people assume about your self-worth. Whoever said earlier people are not thinking before they speak--true. Ugh.

Oh, yes. I know she thinks I will enjoy what she will enjoy. I get her side of this, definitely. Doesn't mean I am going to do whatever it is she is suggesting. Really, I am tired. I need downtime and I am running around enough, more running around is not what I am looking for.

Yep. That is what I have been doing, but I am starting to get really cranky.

I am starting on my 2nd high schooler as Ds goes into college--not getting ready to have tons of time on my hands. I'm not convinced I will be off the hook with Ds in college. He will not have a car yet due to finances and licensing laws in our state, so if anything next year I will be more busy. Besides these people think I have a bunch of free time right now, just b/c applications are done. Hmm...maybe others don't experience this, or aren't bothered by it as much as I am.

Acquaintances, yes, they are making conversation. My family members and people I know from various clubs, NO. They have things lined up for me to do. That much is obvious, especially when they follow up with their ideas for me. My mother is a repeat offender. I keep having to explain to her. And it seems like I am explaining a lot. I am getting it from a lot of people. With my mom, I guess this might not be new, just a variation on a theme. For years I have been trying to get her to understand that I am not in her position, retired with tons of free time to fill. She is always pressuring me to plan a party or host some event, or take some day trip somewhere--and I am like 'the only party I want to attend is on my couch, with my blanket and a cup of tea!'

And I guess I feel like quite a few people are trying to take away my few deep breaths! My own mother has been suggesting a long list of outings I can now go on. I keep having to repeat myself to her.

​Except we are not done senior year, and though I feel relieved, there is still a lot to do. And, yes these people are thinking they can fill my time with other things. Some of them are fun things, but not things I really have time for and some of them are more work for me. Either way it's about me now being able to meet their needs, and I am annoyed by it. Yes, we are coming to the end of some stress, but I'm not looking to add anything more toy schedule.

When I say this sometimes I really want to discuss it with him, and sometimes I am buying myself time to think about the purchase b/c I am not sure it is a wise use of my money. And sometimes, I would decide to just buy the item if it were cheaper. But, no I don't confer about every little purchase anymore b/c I have found him to be completely out of touch with how much things cost and unreasonable about paying. We once went 6 months not buying a new fridge b/c he didn't like what he found the price of a new fridge to be and he didn't want to pay it. When Ds and I finally told him we were not sure anymore about meat being ok and were cooking it extra long he finally gave in. He had a hair brained idea that he would just buy a cheap freezer for the basement and we could just deal with all the fridge problems from the 30+ year old harvest gold fridge (which I miss). His own parents had to tell him he was crazy. So, no, I do not always consult with Dh b/c I don't want to wait the 6 months it takes him to accept the fact that you have to pay for new things.

So, now that Ds has acceptances from colleges, I have a lot of people saying things like 'well now that's over you'll have more time,' or 'now you won't have so much to do.' I want to scream b/c what they mean is 'now you can spend time on what I want you to spend time on.' Several times I have gone into explanations about why it is not 'over' and why I will not have more time now (honors program applications, college visits, scholarship decisions, more letters of recommendation for scholarships, investigating financial aid, figuring out if Ds is going to need a car, making sure Ds finishes out this year well, final reports to colleges, etc.), oh, and lets not forget there is Dd here at home who will be starting high school next year and following a completely different path than Ds--which I will have to figure out. Even if it was 'over' as people keep suggesting, maybe I might like to have some time for myself instead of filling it with more demands. Have you experienced this? DO you inform people how mistaken they are? I find it frustrating and presumptuous. IT makes me cranky. Maybe this belongs on the college board. Wasn't sure where to put it.

That would be funny, but lets make sure our MILs don't ever meet. Lol Ds likes it a lot, but we are still waiting for financial comparisons. He needs to visit his top choices again. Are you going to accepted student's day? I am trying to see what works for our schedule.

Me too!

I believe it. Ds is going to call the financial aid offices of the schools he has received merit aid from and see if he can get a definitive answer from them about outside scholarships. I will report back.

Posting an update for anyone who might have the same question. Ds called each school he applied to through the CA. They did not want a mid year report unless his grades had improved significantly enough that it might affect a merit scholarship. I am very happy about that and will not be submitting a mid year report. All of these schools are listed on the CA as requiring a final report. Now he will be calling all of the schools he has already been admitted to so he can be sure they don't want one.

Thank you! I looked at Ds's individual school policies and I DID find at least one that actually states that outside scholarships can affect merit aid, and for that school it's a huge merit scholarship, so you are right--makes no sense to bother with outside scholarships in that case. It's all so tedious.

Rutgers University - adding Merit Scholarship & Honors College, just notified today! Rider University- admitted today!

Okay, I found a pretty good explanation of how it would work if the college does not 'stack' scholarships. This is copied from College Confidential: Even if the schools "stack", they will not reduce your contribution with outside scholarships below your EFC (only internal, merit, scholarships will do that!). So COA - Merit - EFC = max outside scholarship $ that will NOT reduce your merit $. Since your EFC is high, the Merit scholarship is the best you can do. Sharing in case it helps someone. You still have to check with specific schools, but this is a help.

Yes, I think this is what I am going to have to do b/c the more I read online, the more confused I get. I did find on College Confidential that a poster was saying that the amount they needed in loans was reduced b/c of outside scholarship, and another who said merit aid was reduced. Clear as mud. The scholarships Ds is eligible for, he is almost certain to get, and the one club is definitely renewable. The other I want to say is only renewable in sophomore year--but I'll have to double check.

Ds's situation is that he will qualify for significant need-based aid b/c of dh's unemployment and much lower salary at his new company. There are a total of about $5000 in scholarships available to him from about 4 clubs who are falling all over themselves to give him the money. So far, most of the schools do not stack. I had read somewhere that you could try to convince the school to apply the outside scholarship to a loan amount (assuming there is a loan). I am just trying to decide if I want Ds to spend time on these essays. I would like him to focus on finishing out the year well and maybe, just maybe, have some time to enjoy himself (he works part time). People from the clubs with scholarships are reminding me a lot though.

I'm going to double check on the merit aid. I might have mis-read info from one of the schools. I thought I read one that mentioned merit aid--but I may been tired! ​ETA: Yes, I neglected to finish reading the sentence. 'if the scholarships total more than the cost of tuition'. So it is need based that would be affected.

b/c it would affect Merit need based aid? I am researching right now and I have read that sometimes the school will allow the student to apply the scholarship toward a loan amount. Trying to figure out if it will be worth it to spend the time on scholarship applications. Corrected to state need-based aid.

Follow-up to my original question. Looking at the common app, it seems they want an 'updated transcript'. Ds's transcript lists final grades, and the final grade for his first semester course (which was at a community college) is already included there. None of the other classes are complete yet, so on the transcript I submitted, the final grade column lists 'IP' for them. His other semester long classes are ending in June, so no final grades for them. At any rate, there is nothing new to add to the original transcript I sent. Should I be making up a completely new transcript that is for this year's classes only and show grades thus far? I am a little confused. Sorry if this question has been asked before. Also Ds is receiving an award from a local community organization next week. He does not know about it yet. Should I wait until he has received it so I can include it when I send in the mid year report? And now I will whine---I really really find having to update records annoying. I feel like we've been through the wringer with applications, and now having to research financial aid. I think I am having a bad case of senioritis. I would like, for just a little while, not to be dealing with some sort of 'project' related to college! It would be nice to just be homeschooling. Done whining--for now.

It just came today. We were almost up to the deadline. Life circumstances meant we ended up applying even after the deadline to Rutgers! I was amazed he got in. Arcadia's campus is beautiful and Ds loves their approach.

Haven't been here a lot in the past year, but this board has helped us so much through the years! Adding Ds's acceptances from today and yesterday: Arcadia University w/ Merit scholarship Rutgers University

Double post

Have not read it, but will be soon. Greg Laurie's Hope for Hurting Hearts. Buying it for my mom and my brother. My nephew committed suicide this holiday season. It's very hard to get through and must be even harder for my brother since he was his only child.