T'smom
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Posts posted by T'smom
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I can say with absolute certainty that I would never accept any such thing from my child, no matter how adult. It would never cross my mind but now that I've read this thread I find idea abhorrent.
Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. I would be very upset it I could help one of my parents that way and they wouldn't accept. Personally, I am willing to do this for another family member, not nearly as close and beloved as my parents, so I would certainly have done it for them. It's hard to imagine myself as the recipient. I can't say for sure what I would do in that situation.
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I feel like this is a weird conversation. Of course, a minor should never donate a kidney and that is why doctors won't let that happen. And no one should ever be pressured into organ donation either. But really, everyone thinks that it is horrible to accept a kidney from your child? Really? Even if the child is an adult? I'm in the process of finding out if I am a match for someone in my family (someone I am related to by marriage, not blood) and I know that his daughter is also in the process of finding out if she's a match. (She's 26) A lot of people blood-related tested, but they all have the same disease. (Hs daughter is adopted) His sister recieved a kidney donation from a co-worker. It's okay to accept that, but not from an adult child? My opinion of this family member could not be higher. He is a wonderful, generous, caring man who has given a LOT to his community in so many ways. I can't believe that people would judge him for accepting a kidney from his kid.
Granted, the OP's situation is completely different. But this is a response to "no caring parent would EVER take a kidney from their child.
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Beautiful! Congrats!
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One time, in a thread about cool old houses, someone posted her house listing, and I recognized the house! I did send her a pm. She didn't live in my town, but in a town I drive through on a regular basis. Her house isn't for sale anymore and sometimes I wonder if she sold it or if they gave up.
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I'd avoid shoes with memory foam inserts if you know these shoes are likely to get wet. Really hard to get the stink out.
I would go with Keens if you're planning to get wet.
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I bought some Sketcher Go Walks a few weeks ago. They are heaven! I had been having sore knees and after a week or so of wearing these, my knees don't hurt at all! You'd have to find them on sale though, maybe with a 30% off at Kohls?
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Well, she's a BIG fan of Fancy Nancy and Pinkalicious. We've read all of those over and over. She has an older brother and I've been immersed in dragons and magic so long, I don't know what else is out there.
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I would really, really like to buy these for traveling. I don't have any personal experience with them, but they look awesome.
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Thanks for the ideas! I'm making a list to try over the summer. She loves picture books, but I thought going into 1st grade, she should be developing a longer attention span. She hasn't cared for the Fudge books, Ramona, Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Boxcar Children. I don't know, maybe I should just embrace the picture books awhile longer.
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I bought one, a backpack with a detachable strap. They wore the backpack in airports and such when they were tiny- but I never needed to attach the strap. I just needed the peace of mind that I could if I needed to. My first two were very early walkers and as soon as they could walk, they did NOT want to be in a stroller. I used carriers with all of them, but they didn't much like that either after maybe 18 months or such. My last was a much later walker, he isn't opposed to a stroller, but he doesn't love the carrier anymore. He's heavy too! So I use a stroller much more with him than with the other two. Sometimes, I don't like to drag around a stroller. (In airports and such)
I do see people using them at museums, zoos, airports, amusement parks, etc. I don't give it a second thought, although I may have had a negative reaction if I had seen it when I was young and childless. I don't remember ever seeing it back then. 10+ years ago.
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My dd who is in between K and 1 is not very interested in read alouds besides things like Fancy Nancy or Pinkalicious type stuff. She has never been interested in any books that I am reading out loud to her brother. I thought you guys would have some great suggestions that would make her excited for read aloud time? Thanks!
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I am so sorry that happened to you. I would certainly confide in the leader of the group that this happened and hopefully they would deal with it. If someone in one of the groups I am in did something like that, I would want to know about it, I would want to be able to reassure the person left out that not everyone felt that way and if it wasn't dealt with swiftly, I would resign my membership in the group. That is just so awful.
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Our local high school is the Trojans. Dh's high school was the Chicks. We lived somewhere where the high school was the Brickies (bricklayers). Dd's Little League team is just a color, but the kids voted on dolphins as their favorite animal, so they are the Green Dolphins.
ETA: I was a comet in high school and our mascot was a big yellow ball with flames coming off, like it was a comet in the sky. However, we were actually named after a train that was called the Blue Comet.
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I understand! I do not use essential oils, and my MIL knows that, but that's what we got for Christmas. I felt like it was a passive-aggressive way to try and make me use them.
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I don't think that is common. However, I took a job at a charter school and I worked there for a year and 1/4. In that time, we went through 3 administrators. A friend convinced me to not quit after the first year, then she ended up quitting herself. My second year, I quit just a couple months into the year- I was the 7th teacher to quit THAT year. Even with that, most of the teachers were single or the main breadwinner. (I was extremely lucky that I was married to a guy with a good job.) I suspect more would have left if they felt they had that option. I had nightmares for months after I left. So, it does happen.
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We have a seasonal camping spot and my goal this year is to stay there the entire month of July. I seems like we're always running back and forth between there and the house (about 45 minutes apart). And it is exhausting. We have crazy schedules in June and August, but I have decided to turn down everything in July and just stay at the campground. My goal is to not get in a car the whole time. Dh will be driving back and forth to work, so he can bring us groceries, but hopefully, he will take some time off too. I'm going to take a big stack of books and school stuff to get ready for next year (and some school-lite stuff for the kids) but mostly we'll just go from the beach to the pool and back again. At least, that's the plan!
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No. I also don't feel it's necessary for a parent to attend everything anyway, whether the teen is passionate/improving or not. I don't attend all games, I don't even pretend that I'm going to try to. And not just because of time constraints, but because I don't want to. It's not my activity, it's his. I feel that I no more owe him 100% attendance at a ball game than he owes me 100% attendance at my knitting group. IMO, the whole thing is ludicrous. I don't know who came up with this whole scheme of parents attending every blessed game/activity their kid participates in, but I'd like to take that person out behind the woodshed.
Seriously! I don't have teens yet, so I wasn't going to post, but I sooooo agree with this! My 5 yo is playing t-ball and dh is the coach. I went to their first practice, other kids in tow, to help him pass out/collect paperwork. I was so surprised that all the kids had both parents and siblings there- to watch a practice!!! One kid had both parents and stepparents there, along with sibs. Now, I wouldn't drop a 5 year old off for practice, but one parent is sufficient- no need to drag all the siblings out.
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I was near Outback Steakhouse around lunch, so I got a bloomin onion to go. I took it home and ate the whole thing. Haven't had dinner yet, but I'm planning on eating spinach artichoke dip. Yum. Maybe late, after the kids are in bed and I can share with dh while watching a grown up movie!
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Now this is not the case for lots of homeschoolers, but in our case, I think my kids get more "friend" time than most kids in school. At school, there's 25 kids in a class, but one kid might only really get along with 3-5. Then, they only have lunch and recess to really do what they want, maybe a bit more time in directed activity. We are involved with several homeschooling groups/classes and my kids have made a couple friends at each one. We make the effort (and their families make the effort) to get together frequently. We usually go to the park weekly for several hours at a time. We also meet up with them at the zoo, museums, indoor play places in bad weather/winter. They have more time to socialize and with more kids than they would at school. YMMV, depending on your area.
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Oh, if I seriously cared more about the shoes than your company in my house, I would have said "please take off your shoes at the door." But I wouldn't care more about shoes than a guest's comfort. I guess if I had some medical reason for trying to keep my floors super-clean, I would state that "we are not wearing shoes in here because of x, please leave them by the door."
This is so complicated! I promise, IRL, no one misunderstands me!
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I think there's a line somewhere. If you're, say, putting dishes away with another adult and say, "Could you hand me that glass?" then, yes, it's a request. It's fine to phrase it that way because it's genuinely a request and if they say no, then you're (hopefully) going to assume that there's a good reason, like, maybe their hands are full, or they can't help anymore and you're okay with that because you trust they helped for the time they could.
But a lot of people use it all the time now. So, I walk into someone's home and they say, "Would you like to take off your shoes?" I have no clue at this point if that's a request or if they're trying to passive agressively tell me it's a house rule that they take their shoes off. So much more polite if they just say, "So, we try to keep a shoe free house. Here's the shoe bench." Or whatever. Don't request if it's not a request. I was once followed around a store by an employee who kept asking me if I'd "like" to go outside. It was so freaking weird and uncomfortable. Finally, I saw a sign and figured out she was really trying to tell me that my toddler was eating a cracker in his stroller and there was no food allowed. Fine. If she had just said that then I could have decided how to deal with it. I wouldn't have kept saying, no, I want to keep shopping and been confused as to why she was so mad at me. She was being "polite" in the rudest possible way.
I think it's just ingrained in a lot of people - especially women! - not to direct, but to ask, even if you're trying to direct. I think it's a messed up message we're teaching. I think it's a dysfunction in society. And people like me, who tend to be slow on the uptake in the moment (I tend to get it about ten minutes later) when people are roundabout, tend to get hurt by it. I think it's a double edged sword for women too because I think we use it on each other more and are more hurt when women don't get it.
In terms of kids, if we're back in that kitchen putting those dishes away and they're not mature enough to organize their own tasks, then it's an order. It's genuinely not a request. So it shouldn't become one.
Ok, I couldn't even think of an example where I would be telling an adult what to do, but in the situations you described I would have been direct. I would have said to you, "I'm sorry, we don't allow eating in here." In the situation of shoes, I would say "could you take off your shoes while you're inside" because maybe you have some reason for keeping your shoes on? But I wouldn't phrase it "would you like to...." I have never been offended by the way someone phrased something to me.
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Hmmm. A lot could be going on here.
I've known a number of ADHD people who just love to do the exact opposite of what you tell them. My son and dh are two of them. Of course, DH is old enough to carefully pick when he'll do the opposite and only does so when it's not going to make the other person fly off the handle. Kids don't always know when it's ok to do the opposite vs when it's really, really not ok.
But it does seem to be a symptom of ADHD from my very limited observations. If there are other symptoms going on, you might want to look into it. An adhd person will not respond the same way that a neurotypical person will. You will have to learn a new way to deal with him and you will need to work on teaching him how to control him impulses. Though, honestly, I am jaded (referencing another thread) about how much an ADHD person can really control their impulses.
Regarding confrontation. This is a tricky one. I've tried to avoid it with humor or whatever, and that rarely works. Confronting it head on does often result in explosions. However, I read on the tomato staking website years and years ago (is that website still up?) that when you know there's an issue that needs to be addressed, you should not shy away from it. You should not walk on eggshells in your own home. If a child is explosive during a confrontation, you need to keep allowing the confrontations and work through them, teaching the child how to handle a confrontation without exploding. Tons and tons of hard work for this one. Now, you do not goad a child into a confrontation, of course! The point is that you do not pander to the problem. You do not tiptoe around the child. You behave as anyone would in society and then teach the child how to handle it. If the explosions happen, they happen. You don't bend over backwards trying to keep Junior happy-happy. It just teaches Junior how to be manipulative and keep the members of the household hostage to his moods. Not that Junior is a bad person and being manipulative on purpose. That's just what he learns as a byproduct of tip toeing around his explosions.
For example, right now my youngest is turning out to be a horrible team player when it comes to doing chores with anyone else. But in life he is going to have to work with other people. So rather than letting him do chores alone and not asking for him to help his brother or me to avoid his bad temper, I am making him do all the chores with me or his brother and I am actively teaching him how to work as a team without biting off his teammate's head if the chore isn't done the way he wants it done. I'm not goading him while we're doing chores. I'm not harrassing him. We're just quietly washing dishes together and if he snarks we stop and deal with the snark.
The joking: Yeah, you just can't do it with this child. Tell him firmly exactly what you want. Warn him every day for a few weeks, "Remember, Ralphie, that when I tell you to do something, you must do what I said. If you do the opposite, then X will happen." Be sure to give him notice that things will be changing and be very clear about what X will be and follow through, no matter what. (So pick your X carefully.)
There's a lot going on here: gently humorous requests being ignored, you being reticent to deal with his explosions, his explosions, the possibility of ADHD or something like that. It might take a while to sort out what is what.
Thank you. I promise I am not trying to avoid explosions. We have several every single day. I would like to limit them, so that every single interaction we have doesn't devolve into negativity. But you have given me something to think about.
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Have you read the Explosive Child? Is he neurotypical? ADHD and/or ODD?
I haven't, but I think I should. He is neurotypical- I don't think that he is ADHD, but he has never been evaluated for anything. In groups, (co-op, Sunday school, outside classes, Awana) he is perfectly behaved.
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There is nothing wrong with confrontation. Sounds like he needs to realize that you are the mom and in charge.
Well, there is plenty of confrontation in our day. I'm just trying to limit it to the important things.
Robotics recommendations?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
My rising 4th grader is interested in this anyone have a good place to start? I'd love recommendations for him and for me to sortof learn ahead of him.